The Legend of Hercules AKA Hercules: The Legend Begins (2014)

[nrkist 71]

A guy in a European brown bear/grizzly bear/they can't fucking decide what kind of bear suit (moving suspiciously like a guy in a gorilla suit) gets repeatedly punched in the face after escaping from Central Park Zoo and interrupting Hercules's carriage ride right as he was about to score some hot 1970's tail. This is still a more believable Hercules film...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWGuyo8F7MA

 

I like that the bear has a reputation amongst the NYPD as being 'surly'. How did they get that bear to move so realistically? Practical effects are a dead artform.

 

I do also agree with you as to the ape/bear thing. They dressed up an ape in a bear costume, right? That's pretty insane.

 

Can anyone understand the conversation that is happening between Schwarzenegger and Lady? They are literally talking AT each other. Like, right into each other's faces and their conversation makes no sense. That poor horse desperately trying to get away from this film...

 

Quotable: "whatsitlikebacktheredidn'tyousayAthensanybrothersorsisters?"

 

Holy crap, take a breath.

 

She also tells Schwarnegger to 'beat him up' several times. She is talking about the bear. The man in the really clownish bear costume. She's breaking the 4th wall and simply telling Schwarnegger to beat up the man in the bear costume that is assaulting them. Very strange. Also, why did this bear target them? I get that he's a little surly, the film established this, but what are the chances?

[PhillipMedoc 648]

 

I like that the bear has a reputation amongst the NYPD as being 'surly'. How did they get that bear to move so realistically? Practical effects are a dead artform.

 

I do also agree with you as to the ape/bear thing. They dressed up an ape in a bear costume, right? That's pretty insane.

 

Can anyone understand the conversation that is happening between Schwarzenegger and Lady? They are literally talking AT each other. Like, right into each other's faces and their conversation makes no sense. That poor horse desperately trying to get away from this film...

 

Quotable: "whatsitlikebacktheredidn'tyousayAthensanybrothersorsisters?"

 

Holy crap, take a breath.

 

She also tells Schwarnegger to 'beat him up' several times. She is talking about the bear. The man in the really clownish bear costume. She's breaking the 4th wall and simply telling Schwarnegger to beat up the man in the bear costume that is assaulting them. Very strange. Also, why did this bear target them? I get that he's a little surly, the film established this, but what are the chances?

I think you've got a good start on your thesis. Plenty of material to work with there. Looking forward to the book.

[BevanMorgan 0]

Renny Harlin, the magic auteur behind Die Hard 2 and Cutthroat Island, directing some nobodies in what must be one of the most stunningly dim and cheap looking films in a long time. Seriously though - how? Who gave seventy million dollars to these people, thinking that there could possibly be another Hercules movie, in amongst a bunch of other swords and sandals that will probably be more high concept and better. I literally can not comprehend. Money laundering?

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

It looks like a Spartacus ripoff, which I feel is garbage to begin with, but if that show can get away with being total garbage, why not this movie?

 

Low rent '300'! As if that movie wasn't low rent enough...

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Honest mistake, but I think this movie already has a thread under a different (it's original?) name, because it mostly just turned into a discussion about Schwarzenegger's incredible "Hercules in New York". At my theater, we had the trailer for this, the 300 sequel, and Pompeii all attached to the new Paranormal Activity, and I didn't realize until I watched them that they're ALL the same movie!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Holy shit, after seeing this thing take a dive over the weekend, I think it would be beneficial for the marketing departments behind those other films to play up the "we're SO not the same movie as that piece of shit Hercules thing" in the ads, even if they basically are. Ironically though, I don't see there being any confusion at all with the actual Hercules movie that comes out this summer, as this one will be long, long, long forgotten by the time that that one hits.

[seanotron 2307]

I feel like there is such a thing as a movie that is too stupid.

[BevanMorgan 0]

Honest mistake, but I think this movie already has a thread under a different (it's original?) name, because it mostly just turned into a discussion about Schwarzenegger's incredible "Hercules in New York". At my theater, we had the trailer for this, the 300 sequel, and Pompeii all attached to the new Paranormal Activity, and I didn't realize until I watched them that they're ALL the same movie!

 

 

Ooops apologies, didn't see that!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I just saw a TV spot for this that had lightning power special effects that looked straight out of "Krull" or something. I work at my theater tomorrow for the first time since this thing was released, and I'm half-curious/half-terrified to get a good look at it.

[BevanMorgan 0]

I just saw a TV spot for this that had lightning power special effects that looked straight out of "Krull" or something. I work at my theater tomorrow for the first time since this thing was released, and I'm half-curious/half-terrified to get a good look at it.

 

Please fill us in if you don't mind - no way in hell I am dropping money on this turd.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Please fill us in if you don't mind - no way in hell I am dropping money on this turd.

Actually, my theater schedule over last week and this coming week is super light, and I imagine that we'll be dumping this thing at the two week mark, so since I have yet to be in that auditorium when it's playing, my new goal is to NOT see a single frame of it. I think I can do it.

[DubipR 485]

This looks like something that should've been on SyFy Channel. To quote the Zouks... "GARBAGE"

 

[Kream15 11]

In the same year Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson released his Hercules movie (directed by Brett Ratner), Summit Entertainment and Die Hard 2 director Renny Harlin released their Hercules movie 6 months earlier.... And failed even harder.