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JulyDiaz

Episode 74 — Halloween III: Season of the Witch

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I know this is a stupid question but after watching the movie, listening to this podcast, and even reading up on the Halloween franchise wikia, I still don't understand what Conal The Immortal Warlock Leprechaun's fucking point was? I get that he wanted to sacrifice a bunch of people with an INCREDIBLY elaborate scheme, but to what end? What was that supposed to actually accomplish? Anything beyond just a big ol' sacrifice? There was no mention of awakening old gods or ushering in a new era or giving himself power, just that this is a great joke and oh, also Samhain used to be a lot of fun until you fucking dum-dum kids messed it up with your goddamn fun-size Snickers.

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I know this is a stupid question but after watching the movie, listening to this podcast, and even reading up on the Halloween franchise wikia, I still don't understand what Conal The Immortal Warlock Leprechaun's fucking point was? I get that he wanted to sacrifice a bunch of people with an INCREDIBLY elaborate scheme, but to what end? What was that supposed to actually accomplish? Anything beyond just a big ol' sacrifice? There was no mention of awakening old gods or ushering in a new era or giving himself power, just that this is a great joke and oh, also Samhain used to be a lot of fun until you fucking dum-dum kids messed it up with your goddamn fun-size Snickers.

 

When he's giving his villain speech he actually says, "We don't decide these things, you know, the planets do. They're in alignment and it's time again." So basically horrible things are going to happen no matter what, and he's just decided to have a good laugh before it all goes to hell.

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Fun episode. Agree that they lose absolutely nothing by having no guest. A lot of the guests are great, obviously, but three people is enough, especially when all three are awesome.

 

Good call on Gutterballs, Shariq. I was thinking the same thing, and was a little disappointed that Jason didn't bring it up.

 

If "Mike" Myers would have shown up eventually, I wonder if he would have said "Yeah, baby!"

 

I need to hear more about Paul & June's date at the Body Works exhibit.

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They're giving this on AMC right now (Tuesday, 8pm EST). Aaaaaand *hits record*. Thank you DirecTV! :)

 

Can't wait to see this for myself now that HDTGM has prepared me mentally to handle it.

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Couple of random bits:

 

A)I was glad you guys mentioned the extremely understaffed hospital. That's also a thing in Halloween 2. After the events of the first movie, they take Jamie Lee Curtis to a hospital that is also curiously understaffed (there's like 1 doctor and 3 nurses, and I think all of them die before it's over).

 

B)After Doctor Wantstofuck gets it on with Ellie, they show a shot of him sleeping in the chair. Why would he sleep in the chair at that point? Does she have the jimmy legs?

 

C)When they come to take Mrs Gutt(er)man to the factory, they don't even take her in an ambulance. It's just an unmarked white GMC van.

 

D)It's clear Conal Cochran knows who Tom Atkins is all along, so why does he go on with the charade of pretending he doesn't? Because it's funny, I guess?

 

E)I was surprised no one mentioned the complete lack of chemistry between the two leads. Or the fact that Tom Atkins is at least 30 years older than every woman he sleeps with.

 

F)If there's a curfew at 6pm, why does the liquor store stay open for Tom Atkins to buy his bum-sharing booze?

 

G) Also no mention of the fact that Cochran turns into a powdered donut after he's hit with the Stonehenge laser (right before he disappears)

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isn't this the same plotline from strange brew?

 

I liked the scene when the homeless guy asks the good doctor for a drink, he says I don't have any diseases but that bottle looks a little heavy can I have a drink. Ohh ya sure Mr homeless man go ahead have a swig, I don't mind at all. You clearly look like you've been doing some clean living and I haven't had a drink in like an hour.

The day you can't share a bottle with a whiskey bent, std infested arsonist who lives off canned cheese and light bread, buddy, it is time to go ahead and give up on the good old red, white, and blue.

 

Not sure if they talked about this in the podcast, as I am watching this right now on AMC, but was that Jamie Lee Curtis' voice as the operator that Tom Atkins talks to? The phone call he makes right before his piece of road ass gets kidnapped from the hotel room?

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Not sure if they talked about this in the podcast, as I am watching this right now on AMC, but was that Jamie Lee Curtis' voice as the operator that Tom Atkins talks to? The phone call he makes right before his piece of road ass gets kidnapped from the hotel room?

 

Yup, that's JLC. Paul mentions that she had an uncredited cameo.

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Yup, that's JLC. Paul mentions that she had an uncredited cameo.

Ahh, thank you. If only I hadn't been so eager to spurt my nerd juice everywhere I could have avoided this rookie move. Thanks again.

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I'm actually surprised that the studio went back to the well with Michael Myers even though this was financially successful. I would have been interested to see how each iteration would change to keep with the anthology theme.

 

1. Not only did Silver Shamrock pay for an insane amount of commercial ad time, they paid for a fleet of vans to drive through American neighborhoods (equipped with speakers) to remind kids to watch the 9:00 "Big Giveaway." In this universe, novelty items are the most profitable sales items in existence.

 

This is sort of how like in Toys, Zevo Toy co. was the biggest toy company in the world and everyone loved their shit even though they only made some novelty toys and toys that may have been popular in the 1950s.

 

Also, one of my pet peeves is when adults use words like daddy or poppa to describe a parent, it just makes them sound spoiled/needy. I remember hearing Vincent Cassel in Eastern Promises calling the actor playing his father poppa all the time and it just irked the shit outta me. Though there are times when it works to make you really hate the character, like in the Carrie remake where the main bitchy girl whines to her dad about wanting to go to prom and keeps calling him daddy, showing her to be a spoiled whore and making you really want see her die.

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As a kid, this movie scared the crap out of me. One of the great things about it, was how confusing it was. Michael wasn't in it. The plot confused me. The masks were weird. Nothing made sense. All of that added up to just one of the scariest things I had ever seen. As an adult now, and understanding how little sense it actually made, makes me like it more. There is something so perfect seeing something that doesn't totally add up in horror at a young age. It just adds to the confusion of childhood in general. I still love this film, always will.

 

FIVE STARS!

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Team, now that it's time to finally unleash my plan for "the greatest joke ever" & everything's on the line, please remember to melt Dr. Hornypants' face immediately. I know how you might be thinking that I would be disappointed if you didn't wait until 9pm Everywhere Standard Time, but believe me I won't. Melt it now. Otherwise he's going to take one look around this place and say "obvs, these guys are taking chunks out of stonehenge not unlike the way a toddler might grab hunks out of a birthday cake for the purposes of taking over and/or destroying the world." We cannot let him do this because in spite of years, even decades, of preparation, my plan is remarkably delicate. Anyone could walk up to one of the control panels and beep-boop the whole thing is ruined. Seriously, you've all gone through the training. Those manuals are as thick as phonebooks. It takes weeks to learn how to operate these control systems but anyone with two working fingers can destroy them. I've spoken to the vendor about this, and they say there's nothing they can do. So, guys, if you see the guy with the Stacy Keach 'stache, kill him. Face melting is preferred, obviously. That's our thing. But I want to be extremely clear- it is OK to shoot him if face melting is not a practical option at the time. Don't take him to me so I can monologue at him. I don't know why you guys keep doing that. Do you think I want company or something, that I've got nothing to do? I know that it might look like I'm just wandering around the lair while you guys do all the button pushing and monitor checking, but I'm actually quite busy. I like to explain myself in a chuckling, maniacal manner as much as the next guy, but this time let's cool it on the monologues, 'kay? Are we good? Good. Be careful out there.

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Team, now that it's time to finally unleash my plan for "the greatest joke ever" & everything's on the line, please remember to melt Dr. Hornypants' face immediately. I know how you might be thinking that I would be disappointed if you didn't wait until 9pm Everywhere Standard Time, but believe me I won't. Melt it now. Otherwise he's going to take one look around this place and say "obvs, these guys are taking chunks out of stonehenge not unlike the way a toddler might grab hunks out of a birthday cake for the purposes of taking over and/or destroying the world." We cannot let him do this because in spite of years, even decades, of preparation, my plan is remarkably delicate. Anyone could walk up to one of the control panels and beep-boop the whole thing is ruined. Seriously, you've all gone through the training. Those manuals are as thick as phonebooks. It takes weeks to learn how to operate these control systems but anyone with two working fingers can destroy them. I've spoken to the vendor about this, and they say there's nothing they can do. So, guys, if you see the guy with the Stacy Keach 'stache, kill him. Face melting is preferred, obviously. That's our thing. But I want to be extremely clear- it is OK to shoot him if face melting is not a practical option at the time. Don't take him to me so I can monologue at him. I don't know why you guys keep doing that. Do you think I want company or something, that I've got nothing to do? I know that it might look like I'm just wandering around the lair while you guys do all the button pushing and monitor checking, but I'm actually quite busy. I like to explain myself in a chuckling, maniacal manner as much as the next guy, but this time let's cool it on the monologues, 'kay? Are we good? Good. Be careful out there.

If there ever was a book released that detailed the mindset/here's what we're gonna do plan from famous horror movies or actions movies, I would buy that book in a second.

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The company are lucky that the one person that messed around with a mask and ended up getting killed by a laser just happened to be so near by.

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I love this movie. Creative scary movie are always interesting to me,even when its a B movie like this. The movie makes somewhat more sense when you realized the main bad guy does what he do because he wants to.Its a great Halloween movie.

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My biggest beef with this movie is that they didn't try to tie in any of the past Halloween movies with this story. I mean Warlocks building robots come on.I don't know anything about Wicca but I don't seem to ever recall hearing about witches and warlocks building robots. The guy goes to all this trouble to destroy the world by building a novelty company empire. only to make crappy Halloween masks out of bits of Stonehenge. Why not just buy a chocolate bar company and use magic to his bidding. Kids eat the candy at night and become possessed Michael Myers style deranged killers. Then you would have a tie into the past movies with the story someway. And maybe explain why Michael Myers is so hard to kill, there's more than one!

 

Sure seems a lot easier of a plan than buying airtime on television and convincing all three major television networks to play your crappy mask show at the sametime. Hoping to hell all the kids are watching.

 

The real question is why didn't they use the Michael Myers mask in the movie.

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well carpenter, to his credit, did not want to direct halloween 2 because he had directed the movie he wanted to after the first one and after michael myers died in the second one he was like "welp okay that is it he's dead" so that's why this really mediocre attempt at a horror anthology kick off happened. i think there was at least an attempt at an overarching Bad Thing (cult of samhain or w/e) in this movie compared to the first two. then again i dont know if the samhain thing was tied to michael myers before or after this movie had already come out as i too did not pay attention to the dumb words

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My biggest beef with this movie is that they didn't try to tie in any of the past Halloween movies with this story. I mean Warlocks building robots come on.I don't know anything about Wicca but I don't seem to ever recall hearing about witches and warlocks building robots. The guy goes to all this trouble to destroy the world by building a novelty company empire. only to made crappy Halloween masks out of bits of Stonehenge. Why not just buy a chocolate bar company and use magic to his bidding. Kids eat the candy at night and become possessed Michael Myers style deranged killers. Then you would have a tie into the past movies with the story someway. And maybe explain why Michael Myers is so hard to kill, there's more than one!

 

Sure seems a lot easier of a plan than buying airtime on television and convincing all three major television networks to play your crappy mask show at the sametime. Hoping to hell all the kids are watching.

 

The real question is why didn't they use the Michael Myers mask in the movie.

 

Ooh, I like the idea of the candy turning the kids into killers. I remember growing up there were always these stories about people finding razor blades in apples. How great would it have been if a movie honed in on that fear that parents and kids sort of have about Halloween?

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Ooh, I like the idea of the candy turning the kids into killers. I remember growing up there were always these stories about people finding razor blades in apples. How great would it have been if a movie honed in on that fear that parents and kids sort of have about Halloween?

I'm pretty sure I remember being a kid and there was this thing where your parents could take you to a fire station(?) and they would look though or scan your candy or something. And local news would always have tips like no homemade treats, no unpackaged candy, etc. Was there ever a single documented case of a kid getting a razor blade in an apple? Because that was totally a thing back in the day.

 

Futher derailing: Do kids even trick or treat like they used to? I live in Portland and I see very few kids actually going door to door; it seems like they all go to the mall or local businesses or maybe their parents are driving them out to the suburbs. It kinda bums me out because one of the adult activities I always looked forward to was giving kids apples with razor blades in them.

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Futher derailing: Do kids even trick or treat like they used to? I live in Portland and I see very few kids actually going door to door

Yeah, that's cause all those crazy Portland parents only insist on cruelty-free stevia vegan chocolate halloween candy!*

 

*Now, admittedly, this isn't my finest joke and you could pretty much see it's trajectory early on. The real joy of it for me was just spouting off a combo of food buzzwords like a jerk and now picturing such candy in my head as looking like nasty cat turds.

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I'm pretty sure I remember being a kid and there was this thing where your parents could take you to a fire station(?) and they would look though or scan your candy or something. And local news would always have tips like no homemade treats, no unpackaged candy, etc. Was there ever a single documented case of a kid getting a razor blade in an apple? Because that was totally a thing back in the day.

 

Futher derailing: Do kids even trick or treat like they used to? I live in Portland and I see very few kids actually going door to door; it seems like they all go to the mall or local businesses or maybe their parents are driving them out to the suburbs. It kinda bums me out because one of the adult activities I always looked forward to was giving kids apples with razor blades in them.

 

You and me both, man...you and me both.

 

I do believe that some crazy person did do a switcheroo on a trick-or-treater at one time. I sort of remember a news story about someone getting pills in their bag instead of candy, but it could all be urban legend.

 

Halloween was never a big deal in my family and my parents would just buy us a huge bag of candy and let us stay up late instead taking us trick or treating. And when my mom got into church, she would just take us to church on Halloween, where we would listen to gospel songs and eat a big bag of candy.

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