Episode 21 — Nick Thune, Our Close Friend

[RyanWright 713]

Official Earwolf Announcement: Henceforth Hollywood Handbook will be rebranded as the Hollywood Chanbook. In an official statement, Scott Anchorman said "we here at Earwolf believe that this name change will attract more donations but won't negatively influence the artistic integrity of the podcast." Anchorman went on to explain that "it will still be the same super famous bros and their what up what up spirit that listeners have come to love and adore to an unhealthy level."

 

this will never happen because your real life name has the phonetic quality of nails on a chalkboard. plus Hollywood Chanbook is racist and would obviously have to be hosted by Jackie Chan.

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

do any girls want to go see a 1993 steven spielberg film about the holocaust?

 

i guess what i want to do osk her (to) schindler ('s list)

 

 

 

 

swish

[DexterMeyers 8]

nick thine's cancers uprise was a knee slapper, but I think it was largely in poor taste and hope not to be surprised by this sort of filthy pro-Kiev protesting propoganda again. Leave the political punditry to buzzfeed and Donny deutsch the next time you feel the urge to throw Around Your unwelcome views on world affairs and regional uprisings you couldn't hope to understand.

 

Also, Can you please do me a solid by running a segment where you step by step the best way to get hollywood to notice a well crafted craigslist profile? Thanks again, yours truly

[greggy 15909]

hello mr next week's guest's last name, i am wrriitng this popcorn gallery question to you because i am from your hometown and one time i saw you mowing your lawn before you were famous. small world right? you are a jerk and ugly. do you still talk to that lady who used to live with you then? i think it was your mom

 

 

 

now if THAT doesnt get on the show i dont know WHAT will

[kobthatreal 5896]

Nick: "Have you ever heard the term ghost writing the script. Where you're writing a script and you get out of it."

 

Hayes: "And you stand along side the script and you dance. Mhm."

 

This straight up busted my guts. And I really enjoyed the mention of sabermetrics.

 

 

cot damn these forums are poppin today. digging the wire references. ja rules was one of the funniest parts of the episode. Chanson, gonna need 10% off that cause I coined "Hollywood Chanbook." Freja, I think it's time you switch sides and become a poon hound or we'll send you to the dog house. thelonius mad props keep doing ur thing. I thought you were talking about the movie Chronicle where Michael B Jordan can actually fly. The timeline doesn't add up unless he already had the powers before, when he was pretendin to be Wallace.

 

As far as the popcorn gallery goes I consider myself a volume shooter. I might take 50 shots, but I'ma get my 30 points. I'ma get that scoring title. Kevin Durant, you live with your freakin MOM. And you want to be called "The Server." What the fuck are you talking about? Internet hosting? Give me a break. In fact give me two. 2 broken ankles. Carmelo, you're not that great. You got a strong 3 ball but you play D like a matador. Tell your story walkin. Lebron, you're a good player but your post play is Antoine Walkerish. You wouldn't get a pinky toe in the paint. Alright I'm done.

 

 

great ep. great roster. ur bench is thinner than Twiggy. (Cody)

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

I made a new music video featuring some of the audio from this episode:

 

[Hunter 96]

When I was a child, I met Usher. He was playing Crash Bandicoot at my friend's house, and he wasn't very good at it. If you guys ever have Usher on your program (even though he was a music man, he was also on Moesha and also Scary Movie 5 [You guys probably haven't seen any of the Scary Movies because the title sounds too scary, but it's supposed to be funny]), you can ask him if he's ever gotten any better at Crash Bandicoot.

 

I think that would be good.

 

Thanks.

 

 

P.S. I thought the show was very funny today.

[burdrulz 1760]

I think I might be making this too scary.

 

[greggy 15909]

i just found out who rupert grint was, lol

[chanson 9697]

P.S. I want to applaud Chanson for showing such great restraint so far in today's forum and NOT posting about the Seahawks, even though Nick Thune's comments in the episode must have baited him.

 

P.P.S Go Pats.

 

 

...Would this be a good time to say that I really don't care about football or sports at all? Sometimes I just like having something to get excited about and it was either that or genocide in the Central African Republic, so it was a hard choice but that's what I settled on.

 

Plus, the Broncos beat the Pats in the playoffs, so you should be glad to see them lose in the Super Bowl. This can be your victory too! Just saying.

 

PS - I have a very limited pool of alt-comedy and improv celebrity run-ins to draw from, so you guys should really stop ruining this for me.

[Andrew 4646]

Sean and Hayes helping Mick Thoon tune his guitar made me just larf and larf.

[MattCameron 595]

When I was a child, I met Usher. He was playing Crash Bandicoot at my friend's house, and he wasn't very good at it. If you guys ever have Usher on your program (even though he was a music man, he was also on Moesha and also Scary Movie 5 [You guys probably haven't seen any of the Scary Movies because the title sounds too scary, but it's supposed to be funny]), you can ask him if he's ever gotten any better at Crash Bandicoot.

 

I think that would be good.

 

 

If you do have Usher, I would like him to know that I think he has a goofy face. And by that I mean a fun and playful face.

[greggy 15909]

and if you need to figure out how to spell usher's name for making the booking you can just listen to his song "nice and slow"

[burdrulz 1760]

and if you need to figure out how to spell usher's name for making the booking you can just listen to his song "nice and slow"

 

'now baby tell me whatchu wanna do?'

[hugLife 492]

I think that Ursher would definitely say "Yeah!" if Sean and Hayes invited him. However, he does have the weird tendency to put his hands in places that he's never seen... if you know what I mean...

[Asteck 1250]

I tried really hard to maintain some artistic integrity and never post again and keep that sweet count. Oh well, my comedy career is a sham and the lure of these forums is just too strong.

 

You know how a few weeks ago we all realized that Sean is in a bunch of commercials but none of us knew who he was then? Well Hayes mentioning Sabermetrics reminded me of this episode of Freakonomics. It's a good show, but if you hate listening to things (I totally get it) skip to minute 25. I majored in Economics and have been tuning in to this since S Dub and Steve Leave announced they were making into a podcast. Obviously had no idea of what humble beginnings I was glimpsing into with this episode when I first heard it. Now I'm a little spooked. What if Sean and Hayes have been in the backgrounds of our lives this whole time and we didn't know it. Like if you did a montage they would pop up on billboards or in the windows of restaurants. Scary.

 

On a coincidental side note, I purchased this filthy Noid from a flea market not a week before the Dave Holmes episode. The resemblance is pretty uncanny.

The boys were right to call out Mr. Holmes- the things he did to all those pizzas were downright shameful. PS don't go to that flea market, it was absolutely rubbish. Couldn't find a single chain wallet with a pot leaf or an 8-ball on it. Total waste of a day.

 

Don't give in to the haters Chanson! When a person notices that another person's face is goofy looking, it is the polite thing to tell them so. Otherwise they may live their entire lives not knowing that their faces are goofy.

[hugLife 492]

Well Hayes mentioning Sabermetrics reminded me of this episode of Freakonomics. It's a good show, but if you hate listening to things (I totally get it) skip to minute 25. I majored in Economics and have been tuning in to this since S Dub and Steve Leave announced they were making into a podcast. Obviously had no idea of what humble beginnings I was glimpsing into with this episode when I first heard it. Now I'm a little spooked. What if Sean and Hayes have been in the backgrounds of our lives this whole time and we didn't know it. Like if you did a montage they would pop up on billboards or in the windows of restaurants. Scary.

 

I didn't get any of Hayes's jokes in that podcast. I mean a character that pretends to be really well-versed in accuracy rates in sports must be ahead of the time, but not ONE laugh.

 

That was some outstanding scoop trooping Asteck. Next we will find out that Hayes was a top genetic engineer at Monsanto or something.

[kneisage 2108]

Whoa, nice research there, Asteck. You might be onto something there with that theory. I did a little snooping of my own and I found this...

http://www.davenportschools.org/hayes/

 

I know some of you live in the bullshit flyover states so maybe one of you is familiar with Hayes in Davenport, Iowa.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Which one of you dinguses is esteban ricardo on gmail? and when is a good time for us to hangout so we can talk about moving to l.a. to start our improv group? Valerie, did you osk your "boyfriend" to the oskars or did he cause a car "accident" and save you to win your heart?

 

 

Esteban Ricardo is hugLife, but he said his name is Stephen. I feel like he might be some kind of liar.

 

Umm.. Friday? Saturday? Weekdays? People with jobs should decide when we "hangout", I guess.

 

My boyfriend asked me out, yes, by osking me to the oscars. I said no, because he was holding a hot dog at the time and I'm afraid of mustard. But he wouldn't take no for an answer. He stood on top of a table and recited word for word Martin Lawrence's "Wash Yo Ass" bit that got him banned from SNL. I got up onto the table and I kissed him. I was never afraid of mustard again.

 

We actually met on MySpace. You decide which story is cooler.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

hello mr next week's guest's last name, i am wrriitng this popcorn gallery question to you because i am from your hometown and one time i saw you mowing your lawn before you were famous. small world right? you are a jerk and ugly. do you still talk to that lady who used to live with you then? i think it was your mom

 

 

 

now if THAT doesnt get on the show i dont know WHAT will

 

I was literally crying laughing while reading this. Good job. Another Hollywood Handbook success story.

[hugLife 492]

 

Esteban Ricardo is hugLife, but he said his name is Stephen. I feel like he might be some kind of liar.

 

 

1. Way to put my whole government on blast

2. Ouch

[kobthatreal 5896]

Hayes, should the Celtics just tank the rest of the year in an attempt to get Parker or Wiggins? I know it's gonna be hard to get the #1 lottery pick since the Bucks have all but locked it up, but I'm sure we can get a worse record than Orlando and Philly if we really try to suck. I mean, we still would have a good shot at a top 2 pick even if we finished 3rd worst. Please use math to answer.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

 

1. Way to put my whole government on blast

2. Ouch

 

1. If I wanted to put your whole government on blast, I would scan copies of your W2s and do some kind of wikileaks shit with them.

2. Ouch? What's wrong, are your pants on fire? Hurting some more? That's 'cuz u just got burned.

[greggy 15909]

a cia man hoots victoriously and jumps to his feet at his desk

"whats up charles?" says the guy at the next desk

the crazy big screen at the front of the war room flashes ESTEBAN RICARDO

cia charles points at the screen and shouts WE GOT HIM, ESTEBAN IS STEPHEN

i'd tell you more but then i'd have to kill you

[greggy 15909]

(thats just a joke, killing ppl is moraly inacceptable)