Episode 153 — Spider Mouth

[JulyDiaz 2797]

This week’s improv4humans with Matt Besser features humans Katie Dippold, Anthony King, and Billy Merritt visiting a daycare center where language is power, attending a dinner party complete with the unveiling of a terrible piece of art, and figuring out the correct way to discipline a child. It’s an episode that will make you think twice about your comfortability on an airplane and the gap between economy and business class. Be sure to watch many of the stars of improv4humans on the new Hulu series Hotwives of Orlando. This is some funny shit and it’s all available now on Hulu Plus. Make sure to get the Upright Citizens Brigade television show season 3 now available on DVD, the UCB Comedy Improv Manual, Matt Besser’s new comedy album at mattbesser.com, and Dragoon’s new album at dragoongalaxy.bandcamp.com! LA Humons: improv4humans will be LIVE at the LA Podfest on September 28th at 2pm with Ian Roberts, Horatio Sanz, and Lauren Lapkus. Go to www.lapodfest.com for tickets! If you can’t be there you can watch the show on the live feed over at www.lapodfest.com/live and use the discount code “4humans”

[VinsanityV22 500]

There are few things better than working on something all night (it's past 6AM in the morning here), checking in on Earwolf randomly, and seeing new I4H to download and listen to with Katie Dippold and Billy Merritt

 

Anthony King does not ring a bell immediately, but I'm sure he's great as well. Time to listen!

[JacobCrites 4977]

This is probably the first time I've been sort of irritated by the politics of improv4humans with the whole spanking thing. Coming at the conversation from the angle that spanking is obviously wrong and based in religion and anyone who spanks their kids is a caveman idiot. I just don't think that's true. I personally wouldn't spank my kids, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it necessarily. It annoys the hell out of me when I see new agey parents trying to sit down and reason with their insane, out of control 3 year old who throws temper tantrums to get attention and causes a scene in public. Sometimes kids need a more stark form of disciple. Idk, like i said I don't find fault with anyone who doesn't do it, but I also don't think it's fair to say if you spank your kids you're a malicious child abuser

 

Doesn't really matter in the end because it lead to amazing scenes. Hilarious ep

[mattman92ish 823]

fuck this was brilliant another hysterical episode!! great guests and great Besser!

 

"what kinda work?.. uhh im workinggg on a novel... urgh fuck you" haha that killed me

[Kickpuncher 5012]

I love that Billy's kid voice sounds like Gene Belcher.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Awesome line-up from some of the best return guests. All of these people have been around since the first ten episodes of the show right?

 

I. fucking. love. Katie. Dippold. Billy and Anthony both have a really good, mellow energy that suits my taste a lot.

 

I also enjoy when the conversations about current topics are somewhat protracted like the airline stuff in this episode.

 

Happy Late B-Day Matt!

[CameronMascari 329]

Anyone know what episode it was where Matt confronted the airplane guy? I really wanted to hear that story.

[MattCameron 595]

Anyone know what episode it was where Matt confronted the airplane guy? I really wanted to hear that story.

 

I have heard every episode and don't remember this story at all. I was hoping he would just go ahead and tell it. The only airplane story I can think of is the guy that was sitting behind him with the whining dog that later said he was great at flying.

 

The whole airplane discussion is something I feel very passionately about too. I flew to Denver a few weeks ago from Charlotte, and I couldn't believe how much smaller the seats have gotten. It's not even knee room, it's that we are packed together arm to arm. I literally have to fight to get my arm on the arm rest or I'm sitting with my arms crossed the whole flight. Something has to be done, but it's hard to even determine where to start. It's like Anthony said, there is no way that we can fight against these monopolistic airlines until we allow more competition in the US marketplace. I mean, paying $500 or more for a 4 hour flight where you are uncomfortable literally the entire time is insanity.

 

That said, I agree with Katie and Anthony that it would be WAY more agitating to have someone put a device on my chair to prevent me from reclining than to have the person in front of you recline. At the very least you can recline yourself when the person in front of you does. It's just a super shitty situation all around.

[Shannon 2953]

I related way too much to the painting of the host scene

 

When I was around 10, I had to go to a 1st birthday party at my mom's cousin's house. She's one of those wealthy people that is super tacky about how wealthy she is. So obviously part of this birthday party for a baby included a tour of her ridiculous house. I remember her opening the master bedroom door and instantly knowing my childhood was definitely over. There was a black and white photograph that was at least 10 ft wide of my mom's cousin laying on her side, completely naked and pretty pregnant, with her husband behind her and leaning over in a precarious way to attempt to cover her boobs and vag with his arms. And their two giant dogs were sitting behind him. Even weirder, they had almost the exact same picture downstairs where everyone was wearing clothes.

 

I've only seen my mom's cousin two or three times since then, but it's always the first thing I think of. ::shudder forever::

[greggy 15909]

This is probably the first time I've been sort of irritated by the politics of improv4humans with the whole spanking thing. Coming at the conversation from the angle that spanking is obviously wrong and based in religion and anyone who spanks their kids is a caveman idiot. I just don't think that's true. I personally wouldn't spank my kids, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it necessarily. It annoys the hell out of me when I see new agey parents trying to sit down and reason with their insane, out of control 3 year old who throws temper tantrums to get attention and causes a scene in public. Sometimes kids need a more stark form of disciple. Idk, like i said I don't find fault with anyone who doesn't do it, but I also don't think it's fair to say if you spank your kids you're a malicious child abuser

 

Doesn't really matter in the end because it lead to amazing scenes. Hilarious ep

The issue those new agey parents are having is trying to reason with a child who is not developmentally able to deal with it. 2-3 year old kids are little time bombs when you take them in public; if you've seen a kid that age that was being happy and friendly it was not due to the beating they would receive if they were bad, but just that they weren't currently tired or over-stimulated. When your 2-3 year old child starts acting up in public, you either have to just rush through whatever thing you are doing or go home, because nothing you say or do is going to get them to stop screaming and throwing fits. It's just the age they are at. Even buying them the toy they are reaching for is not going to stop them (if they even have a reason for acting out, it often comes out of nowhere), they will just pick something else to flip out about moments later.

Seeing someone hit their child in public isn't exactly common where I live, but the few times I have seen someone hit their 2-3 year old child it didn't solve the problem and actually made it worse. Personally, when my daughter was that age she was really terrible about going out and so we pretty much just stayed home for the 10 months or so she was going through that phase. My son had a completely different temperament, and the phase ended much sooner, but he still had a length of time around that age where it was a total crapshoot whether we'd get the sweet angel or the screaming demon when we went to Target or a restaurant or whatever.

 

Not aimed at you Jacob, but folks in general: if your parents hit you in a light disciplining manner, that doesn't make them bad people. If you have hit your kids in a light disciplining manner, that doesn't make you a bad person. Parenting is hard, and I don't know if you guys have heard this one before but there is no official instruction manual (lol! thought of that 1 my ownself), and until the fairly recent past this wasn't something anyone was really thinking about at all, it was just a foregone conclusion that hitting your kids was the only way to raise them. However, at this point spankings are an issue similar to vaccine conspiracy theories or climate change where the overwhelming consensus from experts is that they are harmful. I would ask without judgment towards you or your parenting that if it is something you are currently doing, do a little research on the subject and think about it with an open mind.

[greggy 15909]

^^^haha get a load of this dumrod

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Thank-you, Greggy. I'm all Todd Glass about this shit, so it gets me riled up when people act like it's just as reasonable as any other form of discipline.

 

Shannon, why haven't you submitted this pregnant painting story to the "Your Best Story" segment? I am confident you would be a brilliant stand-up comedian based on this one story alone.

[Hot - Slunch 772]

I'm more angry about people reclining seats than I am about spanking kids. I can't stand seat recliners.

 

Simple rule I have: Do I want someone to recline in my face? No. So I won't do it to someone else.

 

Even if the person in front of me reclines, I take it for the team and just suck it up so I don't mess with the person behind me because I'm not an asshole. I'm 6' and my knees are generally on the back of seats, so it's hopefully tougher for someone to put it back on me. I'll also push back a bit if someone's trying to drop it back, especially if they do the 'fast recline' with no regard for humanity.

 

Seriously, fuck it. Why even give people the option to recline?!

 

Oh, and the episode was funny.

[MattCameron 595]

^^^haha get a load of this dumrod

 

I was going to say, I've never seen you speak so coherently, greggy. Haha

[greggy 15909]

sometimes i seriouspost about dadchat, it is my cryptonite

[Charlie Murphy Brown 4977]

Great show. My parents, aunt, uncle used switches, big wooden spoons, and belts on us and they was church folk. I once hip checked my nephew into a wall to just slow him down a bit. I am pretty sure I was being a firm disciplinarian and was not over-reacting because I'd been planning on it for a couple days. But that was when he was one years old so I am positive he got the message. Now he plays hockey, enforcer.

 

and Katie Dippold is the shit, fearless!

[saddlebags 581]

This is probably the first time I've been sort of irritated by the politics of improv4humans with the whole spanking thing. Coming at the conversation from the angle that spanking is obviously wrong and based in religion and anyone who spanks their kids is a caveman idiot. I just don't think that's true. I personally wouldn't spank my kids, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it necessarily. It annoys the hell out of me when I see new agey parents trying to sit down and reason with their insane, out of control 3 year old who throws temper tantrums to get attention and causes a scene in public. Sometimes kids need a more stark form of disciple. Idk, like i said I don't find fault with anyone who doesn't do it, but I also don't think it's fair to say if you spank your kids you're a malicious child abuser

 

Doesn't really matter in the end because it lead to amazing scenes. Hilarious ep

 

 

Not beating children is new age?

[JacobCrites 4977]

 

The issue those new agey parents are having is trying to reason with a child who is not developmentally able to deal with it. 2-3 year old kids are little time bombs when you take them in public; if you've seen a kid that age that was being happy and friendly it was not due to the beating they would receive if they were bad, but just that they weren't currently tired or over-stimulated. When your 2-3 year old child starts acting up in public, you either have to just rush through whatever thing you are doing or go home, because nothing you say or do is going to get them to stop screaming and throwing fits. It's just the age they are at. Even buying them the toy they are reaching for is not going to stop them (if they even have a reason for acting out, it often comes out of nowhere), they will just pick something else to flip out about moments later.

Seeing someone hit their child in public isn't exactly common where I live, but the few times I have seen someone hit their 2-3 year old child it didn't solve the problem and actually made it worse. Personally, when my daughter was that age she was really terrible about going out and so we pretty much just stayed home for the 10 months or so she was going through that phase. My son had a completely different temperament, and the phase ended much sooner, but he still had a length of time around that age where it was a total crapshoot whether we'd get the sweet angel or the screaming demon when we went to Target or a restaurant or whatever.

 

Not aimed at you Jacob, but folks in general: if your parents hit you in a light disciplining manner, that doesn't make them bad people. If you have hit your kids in a light disciplining manner, that doesn't make you a bad person. Parenting is hard, and I don't know if you guys have heard this one before but there is no official instruction manual (lol! thought of that 1 my ownself), and until the fairly recent past this wasn't something anyone was really thinking about at all, it was just a foregone conclusion that hitting your kids was the only way to raise them. However, at this point spankings are an issue similar to vaccine conspiracy theories or climate change where the overwhelming consensus from experts is that they are harmful. I would ask without judgment towards you or your parenting that if it is something you are currently doing, do a little research on the subject and think about it with an open mind.

Oh I'm not a parent at all. I'm in no way qualified to talk about this, frankly. I know I wouldn't spank my own kid, because it's weird, right? I mean, I'm definitely in the new agey group I'm talking about. I'm 22 and am horrified by the idea of child abuse. Like you said though, there has always been in my mind some sort of delineation between Child Abuse and as you put it, light spanking in a disciplining manner. I was spanked once or twice as a kid for doing some really bad stuff, and I don't know that my parents trying to talk it out with me would have been effective. I don't retroactively feel like my parents were abusive or naive.

Also: I have to admit that I have no idea what age means what when it come to kids. I said 3 year old, but idk. I know for myself I was spanked at an age where I clearly knew better. Like Matt said at the show, there's no point in spanking a kid when they have no idea what's happening, developmentally. I do see kids in social settings that are clearly around pre-school or kindergarten age that will openly curse or hit their siblings or break things in public and the parents will just ignore it, or say "Now Johnny, let's talk about this. Why did you kick the old lady in the knees?" And I feel like they should just be told "No! This is not acceptable!" I think the thing that irritates me beyond the spanking thing that I see sometimes is this weird attitude that some parents have that you can never tell kids what to do or tell them they're wrong. I don't think there's anything with saying, "Because I said so." Maybe parents just need better death stares.

So I don't even know what I'm talking about right now I think i was more frustrated by the attitude of the show. I didn't realize the general consensus was that spanking is child abuse. I guess I don't see it that way but I also, after thinking about it some more, don't know why I think that.

[greggy 15909]

yeah there are definitely parents out there with no discipline at all and their kids walk all over them, but if they can't even bring themselves to say "knock it off" in a harsh way i doubt they could spank the kids

[xoValeriexo 4369]

I read this child discipline book once that described three parenting styles: permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian. Permissive parents don't really discipline their kids at all and never tell them "no". Authoritative parents are firm in their rules, consistent, and use logical punishments. Authoritarian parents are overly strict and use harsh punishments. According to the book, both permissive parents and authoritarian parenting are damaging to children.

 

I know both types of parents. My cousin has no rules for her children and it's irritating. In contrast, my brother's friend will slap his daughter in the face if anyone says she did anything wrong. That isn't just irritating, it's infuriating.

 

I personally don't love the "because I said so thing", because it always made me angry when my dad would say it. I think parents should have reasons for their rules and punishments and parents are just people and most people are stupid. I just think it's better for kids if you can give them logical reasons as often as possible (if they're super young, it's a little different).

 

Oh and I don't think most people view spanking as child abuse. Even in that child discipline book, the author said spanking done in the best way possible isn't likely going to be damaging to children. The best way being you explain to the child why they're being spanked, you do it calmly, you don't hit too hard, and you like hug or something afterward. But it said it still isn't ideal. My parents spanked me somewhat too. I don't really even remember, so I don't think it was a huge deal in my case. I just think normal spanking is weird and illogical and maybe also kind of dumb and lazy (sorry mom and dad, you're dumb and lazy).

[JacobCrites 4977]

I'm embarassed guys. I don't even feel like a member of the HH scoop troup any more.

This is what I get for posting about a subject I have only thought about for literally two seconds.

[Poika 615]

Finally listened to this episode. Best line: "Teacher? We cut Annie's head off and now she won't wake up."