Episode 98 — LOL: LIVE!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

In my version of things, she would have eventually found out it was him and they almost have sex. Then, just as they are about to do it, she has a sudden realization of how icky the whole situation really is and breaks it off before it goes any further. I think this would have generated more pathos for web cam girl when she discovers that having a dream and the reality of achieving said dream can at times be two vastly different things.

The way I picture it, it ends up being completely awkward and uncoordinated when this vagina thing ends up working nothing like whatever the nerd imagined it would after imagining fucking the thing on the webcam. When she says that first time "This DIDN'T happen", it may in fact NOT have happened. Not until that muscle suit came into play...

[Cameron H. 23786]

The way I picture it, it ends up being completely awkward and uncoordinated when this vagina thing ends up working nothing like whatever the nerd imagined it would after imagining fucking the thing on the webcam.

 

Right? Where's the huge empty cavity?

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Right? Where's the huge empty cavity?

I'd also like to think that he did some prop work of his own and busted out an object that could best be described as "clearly not a human penis".

[Cameron H. 23786]

I'd also like to think that he did some prop work of his own and busted out an object that could best be described as "clearly not a human penis".

 

Bravo! I had a legit "LOL" at this!

 

Also, not really my story to tell, but I didn't want it to get lost in the shuffle. I was just scrolling through the alternate LOL thread and I would be remiss if I didn't give a shout out to our own Maximiliano who did the due diligence and also watched the French version. Max gave us a full run down of it, but I had forgot this little nugget of information. Apparently, at the end of the French version it says, "Based on a true story...lol"

 

I'll let you all chew on that for the rest of the day.

 

Thanks Maximiliano! You truly are a hero like no other!

[3arl 24]

Another foreign film remade shot for shot by the original writer/director is Funny Games by Michael Haneke, which, if you haven't seen it, is about a pair of fourth-wall-breaking teens who kidnap and torture a family in their vacation lake house.

 

Between the two films, I'd say that LOL takes the cake when it comes to plumbing the depths of human depravity.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Ezra Miller, who starred in "We Need to Talk About Kevin", was NOT in "LOL", but will be appearing as The Flash in the upcoming Justice League series of films. Having seen "Kevin", I had him pegged as a Green Arrow guy myself. Why "Kevin" gets left out of the discussion of all the great archery-themed films of the last few years, I'll never know!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Another foreign film remade shot for shot by the original writer/director is Funny Games by Michael Haneke, which, if you haven't seen it, is about a pair of fourth-wall-breaking teens who kidnap and torture a family in their vacation lake house.

 

Between the two films, I'd say that LOL takes the cake when it comes to plumbing the depths of human depravity.

If they wanted to just blow that fourth wall away for good, they'd have that family WATCH "LOL" as well.

[Jesse Carrigan 119]

Also, the one line that made me crazy was the "This is my first time...since my divorce." It is? But...but...you're dating your ex-husband! We see him sneaking in at night and trying not to wake up the kids. You two are sitting in bed together! Does he actually sneak in just to go to sleep and not have sex with you?

Actually, I prefer to think everyone making the movie just forgot that the ex-husband existed.

 

I really don't want to give this movie credit, but I thought that they were separated, not yet divorced, and they finalize papers or something in the diner scene where Tom Jane eats other people's food. I could be wrong though, and as Jason says, I don't know why I care about this.

[GhostManatee 5]

I watched this movie after reading Nathan Rabin's Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory piece about it on The AV Club, figuring I needed to broaden my bad-movie horizons beyond what How Did This Get Made can eventually get around to.

 

I felt exhausted. I felt furious. But now I feel vindicated.

 

I took notes during that first viewing just in case, and Paul's scramble for talking points throughout the show are a pretty good indicator of just how ridiculous this movie is. I don't really know where to begin.

 

But one scene that's always stuck with me was this:

 

So during the misunderstanding where Ashley Hinshaw is boning the nerd in the bathroom, and Ashley Greene (whose character is actually named Ashley, just a sidebar, because I actually couldn't remember what her non Post-It name was) walks out of the bathroom, Miley accuses her of having sex with... was his name Kyle?

 

She phrases her accusation as such:

 

"How was it?"

Ashley responds "it was awesome."

Miley says "you're disgusting."

 

In Ashley's mind... what is this conversation about? Did she really just enjoy her bathroom break? Is Miley's response completely reasonable if Ashley thinks she's being asked about it? Will Ashley tell basically anyone how awesome her shits are if they just ask?

[VinsanityV22 500]

Great All*Stars this time, Paul! I love me some Chelsea Peretti! This movie sounded AMAZING; I'm glad I didn't see it, and I'm glad you all were so good a painting a picture with your descriptions, haha.

 

Also: Masturbation jokes? "How is this my life?"-variant existential statement? Thank God, Rob Huebel was there -- he may not have been at the taping, but the spirit of Mantzoukas was definitely there, speaking through Rob

 

This episode made my week! Thank you for your sacrifice in watching this, All Stars! Really appreciate it, Chelsea, Rob, John and Paul!

[GhostManatee 5]

Also, the part where Miley's ex exits a classroom in front of her while she's walking down the hall and immediately accuses her of following him almost made me do an actual real life spit take. I didn't think that actually happens.

[klemjohansen 748]

The journaling scenes in this movie cannot hold a canlde to Wynona Ryder's aggressive journaling in Heathers, monocle and all. She practically turned it into an extreme sport worthy of its own event in the X Games.

[JustinL 216]

Not to be a Negative Nancy, but: worst audience questions ever. Fantastic episode otherwise.

[Conal Cochran 21]

Yeah, those questions were utter garbage. Classic "I don't actually have a question but I want to get on the show" stuff.

 

Great ep, though Peretti's giggling after everything she says got quite annoying.

[Blast Hardcheese 636]

There was also another American French movie re-make by the same director called Jungle to Jungle. Both versions are terrible (the French version slightly less than the American remake) and ripe for HDTGM treatment.

 

Additionally, the director of The Vanishing (or "Spooloos," a Dutch-French production) did an American version of his landmark, Criterion Collection-inclusive film with a toothless alternate "uplifting" ending.

 

The takeaway here seems to be that we Americans have to pay the price for these shitty remakes because we hate reading subtitles.

[JustinL 216]

I also had several problems with the chicken scene.

 

First of all, the dorky kid must have been thinking "Boy, the inside of that vagina is very well lit!"

 

Second, the online chat doesn't really have a name, it just says you can chat anonymously. So why have a camera feed? Maybe you don't know the person's name and address, but I'd hardly call a basically face to face interaction "anonymous" except in the most literal sense. Is there some honor system on this website that you only film your chest and genitals? You're identity's protected so long as you don't tilt the camera up or sit back an inch or two?

 

Third, speaking of names, the nerdy kid's screenname is "Don't Worry Boy" because his shirt says Don't Worry Be Happy. Assuming this isn't the first time he's been on the site, that means he has designated this shirt as his go-to online masturbation uniform. And now the blonde girl knows he wears it to school.

 

Fourth, I don't understand what the girl was doing on the webcam. At first I thought they were introducing some dark subplot where she was getting money on the side doing webcam porn. Nope. Just tricking anonymous guys into thinking she was masturbating. Not even actually masturbating. WHY?

 

Lastly, why would she be so horrified and humiliated when she discovered the guy on the web was nerdy kid? She didn't really masturbate to him or show him any actual part of her naked body. Is it because she now definitively knows he jerked off to her? I thought that was the point(?).

[RoyCorder 48]

so the guy that she asked to sleep with her that refused... who the hell was that? was he a kid of one of her mom's friends? because until about halfway through, I thought that was the guy best friend she mentioned. then when the ex boyfriend and the guy friend were next to each other (in the hall or when they were watching her make out) my brain exploded, because I didn't realize those were 2 different people.

 

did anyone else have as much trouble as I did keeping track of who all these guys were?

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

did anyone else have as much trouble as I did keeping track of who all these guys were?

For that, please refer to the nearly 300 post-long thread where the "Shit Dick" naming system for all the guys was discussed in great detail.

[Cameron H. 23786]

A few more things:

 

First of all, from now on my go to answer when confronted with something I don't understand is going to be, "It's Millennials, bro. It's Millennials..."

 

Secondly, Scotch and Coke is indeed a drink and was reportedly the drink of choice for the Beatles when they first hit America. Her grandmother is probably in that age bracket, so maybe it was at the apex of its popularity during the early sixties.

 

Finally, Battle of the Bands is also a thing. I was in one myself many years ago. We came in 11th out of 18 bands, so a solid C- for us. We did get high marks for stage presence though, which is like being told we had "a great personality." What it was not though was the multiple month, bracketed tournament portrayed in the movie. Maybe 6 hours or so all told.

[Snake 165]

My dream line up for a fill in would just be Paul, Rob and Aziz

[BeingAllFishies 99]

Second, the online chat doesn't really have a name, it just says you can chat anonymously. So why have a camera feed? Maybe you don't know the person's name and address, but I'd hardly call a basically face to face interaction "anonymous" except in the most literal sense. Is there some honor system on this website that you only film your chest and genitals? You're identity's protected so long as you don't tilt the camera up or sit back an inch or two?

 

Chatroulette is certainly a ridiculous concept, but it is a real site. The idea isn't necessarily anonymity, it's just to meet new people (cybersex partners) online. Although you can chat with anyone in the world, so the odds of two kids from the same school seeing each other are astronomical.

 

Lastly, why would she be so horrified and humiliated when she discovered the guy on the web was nerdy kid? She didn't really masturbate to him or show him any actual part of her naked body. Is it because she now definitively knows he jerked off to her? I thought that was the point(?).

 

I think...I think...she's freaked out because he thinks he saw her vajayjay. Because he saw her face, and would be able to tell people what he saw, whether its real or not.

[Jamie Power 224]

As Cameron pointed out, scotch and coke is indeed a drink, though here in the UK it's more likely to be called a whisky and coke, or to be more specific a Jack Daniels and coke (you wouldn't want to dilute high grade, expensive stuff in coke after all).

 

See Also: rum and coke; vodka and coke

[DanEngler 5249]

As Cameron pointed out, scotch and coke is indeed a drink, though here in the UK it's more likely to be called a whisky and coke, or to be more specific a Jack Daniels and coke (you wouldn't want to dilute high grade, expensive stuff in coke after all).

I assume Paul found it strange because, to the average American, "scotch" implies smoky/peaty/weird/imported/expensive, whereas "whiskey" is more or less synonymous with Jack Daniels: sweet, mostly corn-based, inoffensive. Jack & Coke is very well-known here.

[box 161]

Wow those questions were cringe worthy. People trying to spazz out with snarky quips instead of letting the funny people do the talking. Come on guys, don't be that person.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Wow those questions were cringe worthy. People trying to spazz out with snarky quips instead of letting the funny people do the talking. Come on guys, don't be that person.

Not to be a Negative Nancy, but: worst audience questions ever. Fantastic episode otherwise.

Yeah, those questions were utter garbage. Classic "I don't actually have a question but I want to get on the show" stuff.

 

In all fairness to those that asked the questions, they did just watch LOL, so I think they can be cut some slack. I know my mind was addled for days afterward...