Episode 326 — 2014 Holiday Spectacular

[Hot - Slunch 772]

Aimee Mann is pretty and talented; heck, I'd even go so far as to call her pretty talented!

 

I had no clue her and Ted Leo just released an album. Weirdly enough, I first saw Leo on the Human Giant 24 hour marathon when he played 'Me And Mia' and improvised when his amp switched off: Check it out here. I was sold. (Scheer appears to be sitting at the table in two photos for this episode too.)

 

 

 

Christmas and Anniversary episodes always kick it up a notch. I couldn't ask for more. Thanks Earwolf, Choctaw, and the guests.

[Uterine Helmet 81]

Spoiler Alert!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I touched myself.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

"That's a good song!"

"That's a good song!"

"That is a good song."

Uh...that song's okay.

[DanEngler 5249]

Every time a guest uses a five-dollar word in a sentence, Scott is like:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpIoPQHYhrw

[TyresOFlaherty 214]

"I held back a bit, pa rum pum pum pum"

 

Dammit, PFT, I try to keep composed while listening to this at work, but I lost it during that one.

[Uterine Helmet 81]

So will there be a new episode next Monday? Just confused, given next week is actually Christmas week and all.

[MattCameron 595]

I think the term that Tiny was trying to come up with is "damages."

[WEdidITagain 458]

THIS IS THE GREATEST EPISODE THIS YEAR.

 

Did anyone catch Scott dropping little shouts out to his movie work?

[HeySwanSong 133]

So will there be a new episode next Monday? Just confused, given next week is actually Christmas week and all.

 

Should be part 1 of the 2014 best-of countdown, with PFT in tow.

[HunterJE 618]

Okay, Drinkwel was the first sponsor that legit annoyed me.

 

 

Glad I'm not the only one. Though honestly, the "healthy" claims from NatureBox are pretty bad too (hint: Step one of the typical American's path to healthier living isn't "make snacking more convenient," however "organic" or "natural" those snacks might be).

[Drewbie 95]

KPUS (Kay-Puuuuuuus, Channel 6) probably has the tightest program I've ever seen. It's a real joy to watch, if you get the chance.

 

Here's the schedule, straight from the bitch's mouth:

 

1) If it bleeds, it leads. Ideally human blood, but gorilla blood will do. Goo from a spider is acceptable on a slow news day, and an elf hugging legs on a very, very slow news day.

-Sex party pictures can work -- preferably ones that involve bloodletting.

 

2) If it swallows, it follows. Every night, this segment is one of two stories. A choking hazard, or a python on the loose that might swallow you whole. No exceptions. 365 days a year.

 

3) If it's a turd, it's third. Third story of the night is always about a big turd. This is a very brief segment, consisting of a shot of a toilet and three seconds of smug voice-over, "Your third story tonight: Someone took a dump." Every day. 365 days a year. 366 on leap years. (Contrast with segment #2's 365-day policy)

 

4) If it's about the man from the North, that story is fourth. As we all know, "The man from the North" is a common term for Santa Clause.

-DISCLAIMER: Stories about Ho-Ho are a no-no. Ho-Ho is no Legolas, so segment #5 is NOT a loophole.

 

5) Stories about Mordor go fifth in the or-dor.

-At this point, it bears emphasis that Mr. Connolly is, in fact, a little bitch.

 

6) If it's about chicks or dicks, then man alive, it's one after five. (Fun trivia: This one REALLY rhymes.)

 

7) If Jesus comes back from heaven, that's story number seven. The old Capricorn has yet to return, so this segment is typically reserved for a commercial break.

 

8) Weather and sports close the broadcast. Jenny with the weather, and B'rokc with sports.

 

Misc.

• If you're doing a story about a dog, I want a shot of it on a log. (to clarify, a log is when the long part of a tree is on the ground instead of the circle bit)
  
• Should Christ return astride a dog, that's still story #7. (only include footage if Christ's dog finds its way on top of a log)
  
• Should the dog hit a gorilla with a truck, that's story #1.
  

 

See what I mean? KPUS (Kay-Puuuuuuus, Channel 6) is nothing short of must-see TV.

 

Logan Connolly's movin' on up in the news world, too -- I hear he got two offers from Al-Jazeera and one from CNN's Panamanian outlet.

[HunterJE 618]

1) If it bleeds, it leads. Ideally human blood, but gorilla blood will do. Goo from a spider is acceptable on a slow news day, and an elf hugging legs on a very, very slow news day.

-Sex party pictures can work -- preferably ones that involve bloodletting.

 

 

I will say, it went a different direction, but I do wonder if a news guy coming and saying he wanted to do a story about a podcast but only "if it bleeds" was at least partially a comment on the "Serial-has-invented-podcasting" mainstream-media narrative... might be reading too much in though.

[tyroneslothrop 124]

The KC and the Jojos line absolutely killed me, and the fact it was met with complete silence from everyone else somehow made it funnier.

[Tony Pepperoni 57]

 

I will say, it went a different direction, but I do wonder if a news guy coming and saying he wanted to do a story about a podcast but only "if it bleeds" was at least partially a comment on the "Serial-has-invented-podcasting" mainstream-media narrative... might be reading too much in though.

 

I figured it was just that Neil Campbell had seen Nightcrawler a few hours before coming to the recording.

[Picklefucker 188]

 

I will say, it went a different direction, but I do wonder if a news guy coming and saying he wanted to do a story about a podcast but only "if it bleeds" was at least partially a comment on the "Serial-has-invented-podcasting" mainstream-media narrative... might be reading too much in though.

I figured it was just that Neil Campbell had seen Nightcrawler a few hours before coming to the recording.

I thought of both. So I'm not really sure what to make of it. C+ ep, though.

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Holy fuuuuck, this was so good. Like, 2 1/2 of non-stop smiles on my face. Every time things started to slow down even a tiny bit, hey, here's another amazingly funny person.

 

Stories about Mordor go fifth in the or-dor.

 

This line absolutely destroyed me.

 

When they were talking about contractions in song titles, was anyone else hoping Scott would say "IT HAS BEEN"?

 

As I mentioned in the U2 /Rolling Stone thread, The Both was my favorite album of the year, so having them perform was a real treat. (Also, I'm glad that Ted recognizes that eponymous and titular are not exactly synonymous as Scott seems to think.) That said, with those two and PFT there, they were SO CLOSE to fulfilling my lifelong seven-month-long dream: https://twitter.com/...582717024530432

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

Grandma Tarkin

[mfnpjparty 142]

It was so good to hear my all time fave bro Jimmy Adomian back on the program. AND doing one of my favorite of his characters!

[Jotchua 431]

C+ ep.

 

Did anyone else notice Ho-Ho's reaction to Scott calling it cute? I've heard of life imitates art, but art imitates message boards?!

[kopello 204]

Is that Paul Scheer in a couple of those photos? The face is kind of blocked out but it looks like him. If it is weird that he showed up and didn't do a charac.

[ocean_machine 56]

I remember when "Victor and Tiny" made their first appearance on CBB I wasn't totally on board but now I think "they're" great.

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Is that Paul Scheer in a couple of those photos? The face is kind of blocked out but it looks like him. If it is weird that he showed up and didn't do a charac.

 

Hmm...I would guess it's Brendon, minus the hat and plus a hoodie from the main group photo. The shirt looks the same.

[hypnotizingchickens 1025]

excuse me, Mr. Fleming... Tangerine Dream are distinctly German.

 

 

they're no Peaches & Herb, but have some fucking respect.

 

 

 

 

edit: just remembered that Paul Haslinger, member of Tangerine Dream from 1986-1990, scored three of the four Underworld movies.

 

coincidence? yep.

[HotSaucerman 2051]

Okay, Drinkwel was the first sponsor that legit annoyed me.

Some people will do anything to avoid having a hangover. When really the best thing to do is drink plenty of water before and water, but after a night of drinking, nobody wants to stand at the sink and drink 4 glasses of water. Personally, I've found that chugging a big bottle of Sunny D in the morning helps. Its got Thiamine in it, which is the main vitamin you lose while drinking.

 

Also, did anybody keep count? I think we heard every single sponsor that Earwolf has.

[HipsterNonsense 402]

The laugh/noise James makes at roughly 2:14:33 following the "Jesus that old Capricorn" is the most wonderful sound I've ever heard. It's just pure joy.

 

This was a real feast for the ears. Great music, great characters, and a delightful collection of EarWolf's best off mic laughers. Laughers isn't a real word, but I'm such a nonconformist that the basic rules of spelling and grammar do not apply to me.

 

Ho Ho's random decision to adopt the name repetition gag was hilarious. Ho Ho is an amazing new character that hopefully comes back some day. All the characters really hit the mark. It was a joy to listen to.