Episode 73 — The Gilmore Guys, Our Close Friend

[honlads 8798]

Kumail, where do you see yourself in eighty years?

[dixon 5920]

Kumail, have you ever thought of making a tv show about a bear and his daughter who form an investigative team looking into the existence of aliens on Earth except the daughter is always getting distracted from the case by her annoying boyfriend Kevin Connolly and it's called "Scold Her and Maul E"?

[greggy 15909]

mr nanjiani, can you give me any tips on how to get a lot of points on @midnite? i just got the home game

[greggy 15909]

you can leave out the second part when you read the question if u want mr hayes

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Dear Kumail,

As a married man, I'm sure you can sympathize with my tale -- this morning I called my wife "bro" and she got super pissed at me.

 

Why bitches be so crazy?

[rod aug 5637]

Kum,

Your relationship with Emily is well known to be the inspiration for Frank and Claire Underwood in House of Cars. Was the writer who followed you around as uncharismatic and unintelligible as the guy in the show?

[JMonsterface 1974]

Dear Coolmail,

 

You worked on Portlandia once. Do you think Fred and Carrie was boning?

[JMonsterface 1974]

Oh I almost forgot, the question on all of our minds!

 

Dear Coolail,

 

Is Popcorn Gallery song moondance?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Hey Kumail, it's Joe. We were in Phi Beta Delta together but you were just a pledge back then and I didn't really give you the time of day. Sorry about that. JUST KIDDING DRINK UP FROSH!! Haha, no just kidding again, got ya nerd, anyway, for my question:

 

I did an IMDB search and looked down the list of your credits and saw that you WEREN'T on The Birthday Boys. Can I get a birthday shoutout?

 

 

HAHA HAYES ISN'T THAT EXACTLY THE TYPE OF QUESTION THAT I WOULD ASK?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Also, can you do a Michael Caine impression?

[IanDrakeMcGaunn 75]

Dear Kumail,

 

I understand that you are a nerd and like computers and stuff. What's the best computers you have ever used lately and how good was it?

 

Love,

Will Sticksbeer

[marshall mellow 1671]

Hi Kumail !

You sure do "juggle" alot of different projects.

Have you ever "dropped the ball" ?

Speak on that.

[mwn 5470]

For Kumail:

 

If you're playing the game "Marry, Sex, or Kill" with Sonic the Hedgehog, Master Chief, and Goku, which would you do?

 

edit: there are no lady options because Gamergate

Edited March 8, 2015 by mwn

[JMonsterface 1974]

Kumail,

 

You played "Indian Reporter" on SNL!

 

1. Did you know that?

 

and

 

2. Is that racism how they called you a indian?

[Game of Scones 5812]

Kumail: Fuck, Marry, Kill.

 

Emily Gordon. Pete Holmes. Paul Walker.

[Toro y Moist 695]

Kumail,

 

1) It's well known that you host a stand-up show called The Meltdown. What is not well known, however, is the nuclear catastrophe from which the show got its name. What are you hiding? Do you feel that the blood is on your hands?

 

2) Hillary Clinton has been in hot water after it was revealed that she used your 'Ku-Mail' email service instead of an official State Department service. Is this some sort of House of Cards-esque scheme? Also, how great is that show?

[Schnickpot 63]

Mr. Nanjiani,

 

Your alma mater, Grinnell College, was originally located in Davenport, Iowa. In 1998, Grinnell Basketballist Jeff Clements scored 77 points in a game. You and Sean Hayes have both appeared on Portlandia. What is the best way to answer a question?

[Game of Scones 5812]

oh, now I remember why they stopped asking for questions

[robinsbruce 4985]

Kumdawg, hardwoods or carpet?

[kobthatreal 5896]

oh, now I remember why they stopped asking for questions

 

Yea. Your question was pretty awful. Made me upset.

[alargebucket 1589]

Guys, I don't mean to derail this line of questioning, but HAVE YOU SEEN HOW COOL NEW YORK IS!?!?

 

 

!!!!!

[JMonsterface 1974]

sweet pic

Man, your hair/ stubble game is off the charts!

 

edit- I hope it is clear that that wasn't sarcastic! I really think you got cool hair!

[kobthatreal 5896]

brGrHo is the Gordon Hayward of the HH forums

[greggy 15909]

Guys, I don't mean to derail this line of questioning, but HAVE YOU SEEN HOW COOL NEW YORK IS!?!?

 

 

!!!!!

were they right about the shakes brg??

[Tendakrunk 91]

Kumail, is Dan Human nice offstage after doing those weird plays?