Episode 87 — Whitmer Thomas and Clay Tatum, Our Close Friend

[greggy 15909]

did a pic inspired by today's show, including cool bubble letters the babysitter taught me how to do

sorry mr hayes and sean, i cant send it in for you to throw in the garbage, my wife wants to put it on the fridge

[Houston 4819]

I wish I had Dixon's sick skills.

 

 

This is all I've got this week.

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

I was pretty bored yesterday at work so I decided to start my Show Show relisten and I also made a dubstep ode to mass:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul-P3tAuSNs

 

I had a good ol laugh to myself. The church better watch out cause I'm on to them.

 

As far as this week's episode goes, I thought it was lovely. Tuesday used to be such a nothing day but now it's up there with the truly great days of the week. You know the ones. Yep. Them's the ones. The first and second ones you thought of. Sweet days. Tuesday is neck and neck with them now.

[kobthatreal 5896]

Lasantaba lasantaba diablo diablo melacalamabana malacalamabe lishhht lisssht hababa mooosa mooska mickeymouse diablo diablo 666 MELACALAMABANA ALACALMBE ALACALMBR NOSTRO TIERDO POR DIO NO TIEN BONA SCOLARA DIABLO 666 SEIS SEIS SEIS DIO ES NO VERDAD DIABLO ES MI CORAZON ! the power of satan compels you.

 

THE LORD IS A LIE HAIL SATAN

[greggy 15909]

HALE SATIN

[A Bear 1813]

 

praise him

[Houston 4819]

THE LORD IS A LIE HAIL SATAN

 

You going Chip Gardner on us?

[SteveH 11126]

 

praise him

 

A Bear, did you pay for that picture? I don't think it could be any more clear that it's not for free use.

[greggy 15909]

we dont live by your rules, xtian

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I decided to listen to the show this week, and it was real funny. I already forget what the good parts were, but I know there were a bunch of them! I feel like the main funny part was either something Sean said or maybe something Hayes said.

 

Edit: one of the guys who is a guest said a funny thing about his fingerman being a mailman with a dog biting his leg

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Hayes stands in front of the mirror adjusting his tie. This is the third tie he’s worn tonight and he still isn’t sure he’s made the right choice. He looks over at Sean for approval. Sean shrugs. Everything Hayes does is “good enough” for Sean. Nothing is great, nothing is awful, it just is. He can’t live like this anymore, but he doesn’t know how to tell Sean he’s moving on, that he’s already moved on. Hayes looks in the mirror again. Everything he sees reminds him of Sean. His blonde hair that Sean brushes off of his forehead to give him a comforting peck. His red beard Sean nuzzles into before they go to bed. His beautiful eyes of indeterminate color that Sean never really takes notice of. But he’s moving on. He no longer belongs to Sean, he belongs to A Bear now.

 

Sean sits on the bed while Hayes gets ready. Sean is anxious about tonight’s dinner with all of the Hollywood Handbook forumers. He can tell Hayes is worried, insecure like when they first met. Sean is feeling like a ball of nerves himself when Hayes turns to him for reassurance. Sean looks into the face of the man he loves, the man he’s sacrificed it all to be with, and he shrugs. He doesn’t want Hayes to catch wind of anything. This night is going to be perfect, thinks Sean. Today in front of God and all of the Handbookheads, I’m going to ask Hayes to be my podcast brother for life. It looks like Hayes has finally settled on a tie. He’s chosen the tie with the teddy bear on it that Sean got him for Christmas. This is perfect, thinks Sean, all that’s standing between me and the man I love is a bear.

 

Sean and Hayes arrive at the dining hall in their carriage at exactly 9pm. Dinner has just begun and it feels as though they’ve come at the perfect time. The guests are all talking with one another playfully and no one is left out. Devscoots, A Bear, Jakal, and Chanson are sitting at one end of the table taking turns throwing pieces of bread into each other’s mouths and high-fiving when a morsel is caught. Sillylillyquee is drawing on the table in crayon like they do at Macaroni Grill. Game of Scones is singing opera in Italian to Colt Barton and Gym Sockerman like they do at Macaroni Grill. Chefszki and Blink are debating whether or not a train conductor gets paid extra to wear the hat. And Houston is describing all of the options for the Build-Your-Own Pasta Bowl to Robotam like they do at Macaroni Grill. As soon as the guests notice the hosts with the mosts have arrived, they begin to clap wildly.

 

Hayes is uncomfortable on the ride over to the banquet hall. It was Sean’s idea to hire a carriage and Hayes didn’t have the heart to tell him that carriage rides hurt his butt. We all make sacrifices for the ones we love. “But who am I making sacrifices for now?” Hayes wonders. There isn’t time to question things anymore. They arrive at the dinner and the moment the doors open Hayes’ eyes land on A Bear. Hayes smiles bigger than he has in months. He notices Sean is looking over at him. Hayes wonders if Sean knows the smile isn’t for him. He looks back at A Bear and sees that he’s smiling too, in fact he’s smiling wider than he’s ever seen him smile. Even with a mouth full of bread, A Bear’s pearly whites light up a room. But that smile isn’t for me, Hayes realizes. Hayes blinks back tears as the answer reveals itself in his mind: Chanson.

 

Riding to the banquet hall in the back of the carriage, Sean fiddles with the ring in his pocket. He hopes Hayes doesn’t notice how nervous he is. How could he? Bouncing along on the cobblestone road, bump after bump Hayes groans with excitement. This night is going exactly as Sean has planned it. As they step into the banquet ball, Sean looks over at Hayes expecting to see his blue or green eyes light up. But instead Sean sees Hayes smiling his most sincere smile while gazing at a forumer with a maw full of dinner roll. Sean’s heart sinks. He doesn’t have to love me; he owes me nothing. Then Sean hears a soulful, Italian melody, but where it is coming from? Could it be it’s coming from Game of Scones? He wonders why he’s never noticed him before, but perhaps he’s found him at precisely the right time. Sean fiddles again with the ring in his pocket, this time wondering what he should do with it.

 

Hours have passed and the party is winding down. The guests are full of buttered cutlets, scalloped filets, and pulverized ramps. Sean and Hayes have been separated all night, each going their own way only to find themselves together again at the head of the table. A Bear is nowhere to be found, and there is a pile of saliva-soaked bread pieces on the seat he once warmed. Chanson is gone as well. Crumbs litter his empty chair and his napkin has a coat of butter on it. Jakal sits crying into Devscoots’ shoulder. Sometimes a hard night can take down even the best of us. Hayes sits silently by Sean, one hand on his knee in somber acceptance. Sean stands up to give a toast, and as he clinks his glass Game of Scones enters the hall singing the most beautiful version of Dru Hill’s How Deep Is Your Love, Hayes’ second favorite song. Sean gets down on one knee and says “Hayzie Bone, will you be my podcast bro for life?” Hayes looks at Sean’s face so full of hope, then he looks to A Bear’s empty chair. His eyes, puffy from crying, peer into Sean’s as he says “Yes.” The guests explode in applause and cheers of congratulations. “How do you feel?” asks Sean. Hayes doesn’t speak, he only smiles. “Good enough,” thinks Sean.

[dixon 5920]

Did A Bear and Chanson fuck?

[rod aug 5637]

I can't imagine what other homoerotic fan fiction Veebs has lying around the house. Actually I can, and might!

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Cool podcast

[Witty Llama 283]

Man, I related all too well with these gentlemen's problems eating. If I had a nickel for every time my parents didn't feed me on the floor like a llama, I could buy a whole MESS of sweet treats and not have to worry about cleaning my room or finishing my plate.

[Spenny and the Jets 178]

Great Ehnnn Wrong this week.

 

I guess I'm the government then.

[nohorseman 5423]

Great Ehnnn Wrong this week.

 

I guess I'm the government then.

You're the puppet master behind the scenes of these past two eps Spenn and I'm ON TO YOU.

 

PS this is a v good thread today I'm happy I realized I had to verify an e-mail to get involved here

[SteveH 11126]

That was a beautiful story. Best book I've read in years. I count it as a book.

[Jakal 4475]

I just had to turn off the podcast because I'm at the gym and I can't stop giggling like a fucking idiot. Can't wait to finish.

[A Bear 1813]

omg veebs i love that

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

I decided to listen to the show this week, and it was real funny. I already forget what the good parts were, but I know there were a bunch of them! I feel like the main funny part was either something Sean said or maybe something Hayes said.

 

Edit: one of the guys who is a guest said a funny thing about his fingerman being a mailman with a dog biting his leg

that was also my favorite part. great minds and such. #points

[Jakal 4475]

Finally finished the episode and caught up reading the forums, figured you all were dying to hear what I had to say so here are my untimely responses to your posts.

 

7- Gym Soccerman: Nobody likes a quitter.

 

11- Jeffrey Parties: Love you too buddy.

 

12- Bozos: I had no idea what you were talking about til just now, that was the part where I had to shut the podcast off.

 

21- Anastasia: By the way ladies, this guys is single and ready to post on a forum.

 

33- SteveH: How'd that interview go buddy.

 

35- Anastasia: Looks like lists caught the SteveH virus.

 

36- Andrew: What kind of lizard?

 

42- Bozos: Congratulations buddy.

 

45- Anastasia: Sweet drawing A.

 

47- Jacob: The two guest were right with him with the papa sweet treats bit.

 

49- Dixon: Sweet gif D.

 

51- Greggy: Sweet piece of crayon art G.

 

52- Houston: Mediocre photoshop H.

 

53- Andy: Only got 15 seconds into your video A.

Edit: Nevermind, went back and finished the video while writing this, I feel nervous now.

 

54- Michael: Exactly what I was thinking during ADC's vid.

 

56- A (Bear): lol

 

60- Spunky: I've said it before and I'll say it again, Sean and Hayes make me lol.

 

61- Valerie: You know that scene in the movie, 40 Days and 40 nights, where Josh Hartnett gets Shannyn Sossarmon to orgasm all over the floor using only a feather? You just did that to me with your words.

 

61a- Devscoots: Thanks for always being there for me buddy.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Whit is from Alabama and you didn't even ask him if he is an Auburn fan or an Alabama fan? Fucking miffed over here.

[JMonsterface 1974]

I'm so jealous.

[broncotruck11 250]

I liked fallout New Vegas better.....