Episode 87 — Whitmer Thomas and Clay Tatum, Our Close Friend

[rod aug 5637]

I think reading a long post like that means that we should get a new pic of Hurricane Dennis.

[chanson 9697]

So fun's fun, guys, but this gang stuff is NOT cool. Someone from my own family is in a gang, and it is tearing us apart. I'm not even sure how to go about telling you about it, I'm still processing it myself.

Here's what I found hidden in the toilet tank, and when I confronted Hurricane Dennis about it he sassed me right to my damn face! He was like, "Wuff!" I said, "Don't say that Dennis, you'll ALWAYS be my good boy! We love you so much, and did everything we could to bring you up right! How can you be making such a terrible decision?" Guess what he said then. "Wuf." I couldn't believe it either. I guess I never understood how it felt to be racially profiled as a vicious chowchow his whole life, but I tried one last time. "You don't have to feed into that stereotype Dennis. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you turn bad! Please!" He said "Wuff!," grabbed the machete from my hand and busted out through the screen door. I haven't seen him for hours and I'm getting really worried.

 

Here's a closer look at his hidden journal, I don't even feel bad about prying because I'm grasping for any clues about who he might be with or where he might have gone.

 

And the latest journal entry.

 

 

If any of you have seen him or have info about where he might be hanging out, PM me, anonymously if that makes you feel more comfortable. I just want my good boy back. Oh and if you see him, he has a machete, so watch out.

 

#ForumersAgainstGangs

 

Parvo von Chupacabra is a missed opportunity in my opinion.

[chanson 9697]

Chanson's 26 which is like 26 in human years.

 

Wanna feel old? When Chanson was born, the movie Lincoln (2012) hadn't even come out yet...really makes you think right?

 

25 bud. So that really ruins your theory.

 

I still love you though.

[watchayakan 1021]

no. yes. i think so. obviously. should i? why? okay fine. whatever. maybe. probably not. i know you would. ummmm. but. seriously. no.

nvm didnt see r

[watchayakan 1021]

This guy can't do anything with a cone on but manages to still get on the bed and take up all the room.

 

[marshall mellow 1671]

Live HH show on Tuesday at UCB Sunset: https://sunset.ucbth...rformance/39928

[souprman 10477]

nvm didnt see r

neither did SA

[Jakal 4475]

Valerie, great story especially liked the part where a certain type of juice met his demise.

 

 

Chanson, I'm just doing my part to push the boat talk agenda, this place really needs more talks about engine sizes, lengths and beams. Also we may or may not be facebook friend now, pending your approval.

 

 

Greggy, I listened to your podcast for the first time last night, and enjoyed it a lot. Your ward is really a top notch improviser, did he study at the UCB or is he one of those second city fellas? Just please dont tell me he is in the Groundlings. Also was pleasantly surprised you don't sound like a creepy looking clown.

 

 

edit: just looked outside the window and saw I left my sunroof open overnight, also when I looked out the window i noticed it was pouring rain...fun.

 

edit2: everything is soaked. because my car was so saturated the inside of my car was essientally raining on me my entire commute. if i were better with words I would write how this is a metaphor for how life is a fickle bitch, but I'm no good with words so heres a picture that describe the kafkansian hell im going through right now.

 

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

Live HH show on Tuesday at UCB Sunset: https://sunset.ucbth...rformance/39928

 

If they happened to have a live show in the first 2 weeks of September I know of a certain popular forumer with a body that just won't quit that would be happy to attend and be excited to do so.

[dixon 5920]

 

Does oj ever strip?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

It kills me to write this, but I was too dismissive of the unsolicited advice from random "dog experts" on the street all these years. I thought Dennis was different, but ALL chows will eventually turn on their owners and betray them. Dennis did show up at my house again, but it was just to threaten and berate me and Ross, and hold me hostage while Ross went out to buy him cigarettes. It's a sad, sad day.

 

 

He appears to have been wounded on his leg, but when i asked him how it happened he said he bruised his paw jacking up the last narc who asked him too many questions. Chows are notoriously contrary, so I can't figure out if that's really what happened, but I'm afraid to press for more details. I hope Ross comes back soon, but I'm not sure how he's supposed to obtain cigarettes. He's not old enough to buy them. Pray for us!

[A Bear 1813]

hurricane dennis is extremely cute and a good boy despite being a bloodthirsty thug

[NoahTomaszewski 2768]

Live HH show on Tuesday at UCB Sunset: https://sunset.ucbth...rformance/39928

Who else is going to this? Just bought tickets. Really hoping this isn't some kind of ruse by the Wolf Den to get a sell out crowd

[LydonBergin 420]

Hey everybody. My software project that has been 9 months in the making (much like a human child) went live on Saturday. So last week I was not able to keep up with the forums. But like a good little forum boy I read the entire thread (y'all wrote a lot of stuff this week) and you're all very funny. I'm not even offended that even though I've been a staple in this forum for months weeks and days that no one had the decency to kill me in their fan fiction.

 

This week's show was good and also had some guys from the south like where I'm from, AND Hayes has been saying "y'all" a lot and that really makes me feel at home and it's good. Can I be the official Hollywood Handbook forum ambassador to the south? Do we need to have a vote? If so, I vote for myself.

[Casaba 5942]

It kills me to write this, but I was too dismissive of the unsolicited advice from random "dog experts" on the street all these years. I thought Dennis was different, but ALL chows will eventually turn on their owners and betray them. Dennis did show up at my house again, but it was just to threaten and berate me and Ross, and hold me hostage while Ross went out to buy him cigarettes. It's a sad, sad day.

 

 

He appears to have been wounded on his leg, but when i asked him how it happened he said he bruised his paw jacking up the last narc who asked him too many questions. Chows are notoriously contrary, so I can't figure out if that's really what happened, but I'm afraid to press for more details. I hope Ross comes back soon, but I'm not sure how he's supposed to obtain cigarettes. He's not old enough to buy them. Pray for us!

 

I'm glad this little guy is on our side now. Cuz he's good at two things: slaying snitches and laying bitches. Woof woof!

- Dr. Blades Krunkoff

GGBz

[chanson 9697]

FALLOUT 4! FALLOUT 4! FALLOUT 4!

 

that is all.

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

A digested look at this week's thread:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba1B1BFBt04&feature=youtu.be

 

Points to anyone who watches all the way through

[souprman 10477]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cATPLk559XY

[Houston 4819]

 

SF. As a famous Dr once said, "I'm so sorry." Know that you aren't alone. It sounds like you've done your best. One minute they are man's "best friend," then they get in with the wrong crowd, one bad choice leads to another and they get pinched.

[devscoots 2561]

July, very much enjoyed hearing about how drunk you were on a certain Memorial Day pcast :D :D

[elizamuffins 4228]

I assume the ER doc who put that blue cast on Dennis has been murked?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I assume the ER doc who put that blue cast on Dennis has been murked?

I shudder to think. Although my research into gangs leads me to believe that he probably had access to a shady underground doctor who doesn't ask questions. I've also heard rumors about a certain Dr. Krunkoff whose ruthlessness is only matched by her slammin' bod. It's all very sinister stuff.

[Shrek & Donkey Kong 4336]

https://www.scribd.c...1/Murder-Burger

 

 

I wrote a forum horror script starring the forum qt superstar brgrho. A bunch of other forumers have parts as well, including Cathy Ackerman, JMonsterface, Toro y Mist, NoHorseman, mwn, ooooo, souprman, Dixon, Jacob C, and takehomejoke. I hope you like it!

 

 

i was gonna outline another chapter of my film textbook, but i think i'll analyze this instead. the professor won't know the difference right? love ya ValBry

 

 

 

EDIT: i have now read Murder Burger. I have mixed feelings. First off, you refer to me as ooooo, when it's really o o o o o (as in oh, oh, oh, oh, oh). Also, i get the crap beat out of me, which is very scary. as a whole, it felt a little campy.

 

on the other hand, i laughed my whole freaking butt off, and loved the fact that although i got the crap beaten out of me, i did not get killed off. great job.

[Shrek & Donkey Kong 4336]

Live HH show on Tuesday at UCB Sunset: https://sunset.ucbth...rformance/39928

tuesday is the ONE day this week that i'm scheduled to work. i hate everything. hopefully i can text a friend to ask q's in my namefor the popcorn gallery or something crazy wild. last live show was easily the hardest i've ever laughed in my life.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

 

It's only Thursday and I think we may have found this week's winner of the forums.

 

Sorry to tell you that you were wrong Chan man but Hurricane Dennis is the winner of the forums this week. I think we learned a lesson that declaring a winner on Thursday is a bit premature unless you say the winner is Hurricane Dennis or Greggy.