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Jurassic World (2015)

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Nothing in this movie makes sense.

 

Why can't the scientist tell anyone what DNA went into the Indominus Rex?

 

What kind of children know how to repair a 23 year old Jeep?

 

Why was there so much product placement?

 

Why was so much time taken up with security footage and maps and thermal-imaging and heart-rate monitors?

 

Why did Masrani fly the helicopter?

 

If Masrani was the owner, who/what is In-Gen? and how did they take over?

 

Why was the assistant/babysitter's death scene so long/drawn out?

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The babysitter death was a truly ugly, unnecessary scene. It was gratuitous actually - tone deaf, even.

 

While this was no doubt a bad movie, I don't thjnk its crazy enough (in the vein of Jupiter or Winter's Tale) to merit a HDTGM episode in my opinion. There were tons of logic leaps - but really this franchise has been built on tons of logic leaps.

 

FYI, InGen was Hammond's company back from the first movie. I think the Masrani Corp bought InGen. Of course, that doesn't explain why Hammond's company got into building weapons, but...

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1. Dr. Wu didn't tell anyone what was in Indominus Rex because he was told that the less they know the better and to make the most terrifying creature ever to bring up attendance.

2. The children knew because they had worked on a car of a similar build and style at their grandfather's home, a convenient point sure but still was explained.

3. Product placement in everything these days, and not as bad as movies like the Matrix trilogy, the last few Bond films, or anything Michael Bay has done in the last decade.

4. Maybe 3 minutes at best of all the security stuff, which is short in comparison to the other JP movies, especially 1 which makes sense since Crichton liked to put a lot of tech jargon in his novels.

5. Misrani was an egotistical billionaire, plain and simple, he felt he could save the day by flying.

6. D'onofrio's character explains that InGen has been in the weapons industry for a while, but Misrani is so distracted/head in the clouds that even he doesn't realize all that they do as a conglomerate.

7. There is at least one drawn out kill in the JP movies, this one was it.

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1. who told Dr. Wu not to tell anyone? and why?

2. how did they charge the battery? even the replacement one would have been 20 years old. and dead.

3. there was so much product placement! samsung experience, samsung galaxy, beats headphones, coca-cola bottles ALL OVER THE PLACE, numerous shots of mercedes-benz logo. a verizon wireless dinosaur. starbucks.

4. it felt like way more than 3 minutes. I had the same problem with 2014 godzilla.

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I went into this expecting mind-numbing fun but I'm an animal behaviorist and their attempt to introduce legitamcy by bringing in behavior and training just totally killed my suspension of disbelief. I am totally on board with this.

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1. who told Dr. Wu not to tell anyone? and why?

2. how did they charge the battery? even the replacement one would have been 20 years old. and dead.

3. there was so much product placement! samsung experience, samsung galaxy, beats headphones, coca-cola bottles ALL OVER THE PLACE, numerous shots of mercedes-benz logo. a verizon wireless dinosaur. starbucks.

4. it felt like way more than 3 minutes. I had the same problem with 2014 godzilla.

 

1. Are we going to show Dr. Wu on conference calls and VO of him reading emails?

 

2. I will give you this. IRL they're not starting that fucking car. Mice have eaten the wiring and it's not moving.

 

3. Most of the product placement actually makes sense. It's an amusement park. Try going to Disney and not seeing a sponsor's logo. I'm surprised that the animals in Animal Kingdom have not had Sprint logos shaved into their fur.

 

There is no more or no less of a logic gap in this film than there is in the original. There are a ton of movies that should get episodes before this including TWO in this franchise alone.

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1. Dr. Wu explained why he couldn't tell anyone about the DNA. He made a horrific hybrid that would have outraged his colleagues. He was playing mad scientist, even more so than in Jurassic Park.

 

2. Yeah. I thought this. That jeep was super old, but hey, this movie was full of nostalgia and that's what made it so great, I think, for the people who grew up watching the first JP.

 

3. Agree with Comments from my Pockets." It's a theme park. I saw it more as recreating the true Jurassic World for the audience, rather than product placement. Also, reminded me a lot of the Universal Studios Jurassic Park-themed area.

 

Just one thing I didn't enjoy about the movie was the switching between the two corporations, and all of the military guys coming in. It was a little confusing for me.

 

Otherwise, in June's words, "I loved it." It was everything I expected.

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I agree that this movie is not the correct type of Bonkers to warrant an episode. that does not change the fact that this movie is not very good. point and case is Chris Pratt's line "depends on what kind of dinosaur they cooked up in the lab" I cringed every time I saw the trailer. also the other car the kids have worked on for experience is "grandpas old Malibu"...not exactly the same as a Jeep. Why not say "remember when we worked on grandpas jeep"??? there was also ZERO chemistry between Bryce Dallas Howard and Pratt. the scene where she comes up while he is working on his motorcycle is just uncomfortable to watch. also, wtf kind of dino skin does the indominus rex have that it can't be hurt by an RPG??? and how does being in the Navy prepare Pratts character for ANYTHING that he does in this movie?

 

sorry. i kept thinking of more crazy shit as i wrote this lol.

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1. I still don't get it. Wu was told to create something "bigger, scarier, cooler". and he did. so why is he being so secretive? and why would he not disclose that it could not be detected by thermal imaging? and that it could camouflage? did he not know? It doesn't make sense.

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9. What was with the sidestory with Zach and his girlfriend? who he treated like shit? and then all the other girls? that he kept looking at?

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8. Masrani had his head in the clouds like Hammond did in regards to the park, which InGen is taking advantage of similar to what they did with Hammond in JP 1 and 2. I'm sure it was something along the lines of the corporate espionage that happened in the books and in the first couple movies where after being told to make this new monster, Wu went to the InGen board and made a deal for his work and for protection, as he was asking about when he got on the helicopter. I figure it was a case of "he told you to make this new dinosaur; do it but follow his words to a T, which leaves Masrani in the dark and if it goes tits up, like it has in the past each time, we can use him as a patsy saying that these were his instructions and its his fault and then be able to take complete control of the company from him in order to openly work with military applications for the dinosaurs. He would die eventually so that never had to happen, though I can see it getting explained more in the sequel. Wu knew everything about what the dinosaur could do but with whatever instructions he received from who he was working with in InGen, kept it secret from everyone, as per the unknowing instructions of Masrani.

 

9. Teen hormones and boners, plain and simple. The kid wanted to throw his dick around everywhere.

 

10. The wolf story I assume was Hoskins' attempt and making a connection with Grady and showing that they were the same guy, despite them being polar opposites on everything.

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Saw this over the weekend, it's not HDTGM material but I wanted to ask did anyone else feel like it was Jurassic Park mixed with Deep Blue Sea? The only thing it was missing was a rap song, maybe Jurassicest, Worldest (Hat Like A Raptor Claw)

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this movie has the most invasive product placement ive seen since mac and me. the amount of time BDH used her phone (even getting chased by the dinosaur as she is driving a truck flat out), the samsung sponsored attraction full of tv's, the mercedes parked in every scene as if at the end of a car commercial, name dropping verizon, pepsi etc. it really did feel like Howard was just used as a product placement device. and Pratt drinking out of the old style coke bottle, it annoyed me so much i ended up turning off ... the first hour was just a massive advert.

 

im surprised they didnt call the new dinosaur Samsungosaurus

 

in saying all that, once the action got going i enjoyed it.

 

note: thank you for allowing me to rant. i said this to my sister as we left the cinema and she didnt know what i was talking about. although she did say she saw some jewellery brand somewhere ....

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I am not bothered by product placement, I think it's a given in films and if it helps them get made then it is something I can ignore. However there is a definite irony heavy product placement in a film that has something of an anti-corporation streak to its story.

 

Also, if they REALLY wanted to product place Samsung's phones BDH should have picked up an unbroken Samsung phone from the smashed hamster ball site.

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I think I used to get a lot more worked up about product placement, but like Lando, I've more or less given up on it. I'm not sure how things are in Ireland, FirstTimeCaller, but in America I am so inundated with ads for this or that product, that I find it more jarring when they try to use an ersatz product for something pretty common. For instance, I would be far more likely to be taken out of a movie if the characters were drinking "Lager" brand beer or "Rude Bull."

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I think I used to get a lot more worked up about product placement, but like Lando, I've more or less given up on it. I'm not sure how things are in Ireland, FirstTimeCaller, but in America I am so inundated with ads for this or that product, that I find it more jarring when they try to use an ersatz product for something pretty common. For instance, I would be far more likely to be taken out of a movie if the characters were drinking "Lager" brand beer or "Rude Bull."

 

I agree, and I think integrated marketing has made people overly sensitive to any kind of product placement. The fact that people in a film or tv universe drink Coca Cola or wear Nikes or eat at Subway, you know like people in the real world do, even if those things are placed there intentionally is totally not the same thing as like what you see on some network shows these days were they actually have dialogue with the characters extolling the virtues of the new Nissan whatever or saying the phrase "bing it" like its a real thing people say. people need to chill out, just seeing a logo on screen is not them shoving the product down your throat.

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its just as bad in ireland to be fair. and usually i dont mind some product placement (it helps pay the bills) and i normally laugh at stupid product placement but this film just got my goat.

 

let me give you an example, all this happened in about 5 mins near the start of this film:

 

BDH is in the hall on her samsung phone. she sees her nephews, goes over to them with her phone still in view. she then talks to her nephews and use the phone to point to a meeting spot or something for them to meet at later.

 

Next we see her walk into the control room with a starbucks cup in her hand. she talks to the people in the room and uses the cup to point at screens. then they have a conversation about how the new attraction is going to be called the "verizon such and such pavilion" or something and another character rolls his eyes and says "uh, why didnt they just call it the pepsi pavilion"

 

Then BDH has to drive to see CP so she jumps in her brand spanking new Merc and on the way thru the forest she phones her sister, who just also happens to have a samsung phone.

 

Next we see her arrive at the trailer where CP lives and as she gets out of the spotless Merc (still holding the phone) the camera swoops around the car to make sure we all see how lovely it is.

 

we then see CP sitting next to his beautiful Triumph motor cycle and he takes a gulp out of his old style coca-cola bottle like he is one of the people in those awful ads.

 

She then walks over to him and they have a flirtatious conversation .. all the while the car is still in shot and she is still holding the phone in view

 

 

like i said, thats all in about 5 minutes ... i just found it very distracting

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Did it give you a headache? Here take two of these

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The boys are the real story. They've battled ghost before this and the young one has a monster under the bed. Chris Pratt and the raptor is more interesting a love story than the actual one. Stand and watch is the only way to survive a possible horrific death by Terry the pterodactyl.

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Fox has set the bar for horrible product placement for me. They basically go old-school and just blatantly have the characters try to sell the product directly to the camera. 'ISN'T THIS TOYOTA PRIUS AN AMAZING CAR I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS ADAPTIVE CRUISE CONTROL WOW, OH WELL WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO CATCHING CRIMINALS WHO ARE PROBABLY DRIVING MAZDAS OR SOMETHING LOL', cut to loving exterior shot of the Prius slowly approaching a red light. This movie couldn't even come close to that. Though it did make me wonder why Samsung or Verizon would want the placement, since they subsequently have the characters lament about how horrible product placement is.

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It was an enjoyable movie. But it had issues and ones im not entirely sure the sequel can fix unless they dramatically overhaul Chris Pratts character.

 

They just completely wasted his talent as an actor and made him such a fucking bland character that somehow even riding in pack formation with a gang of trained raptors doesnt manage to make him even a iota more exciting.

 

I didnt understand the orb ride, are they just cruising around willy nilly on no tracks with those things? How in earth would that work, wouldnt every teenage dicknose ram into a brontosaurus or something?

 

This movie continues the Jurassic Park 3 logic that raptors were basically one step away from being able to speak english. When the Indominus starts talking to the raptors, I couldnt help but laugh. Even though the scene is played completely seriously.

 

As for the product placement, the only one that still sticks out to me is the scene where Bryce is driving to meet Chris pratt in the jungle and its essentially stock footage from a car commercial, if it wasnt they wasted fucking money cause they easily could have just spliced one in and no one would be able to differentiate it from that.

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Pratt's character would be a lot more interesting if he were playing Tim, the kid from Jurassic Park, who conquered his literal and metaphorical childhood monsters, and—against the advice of his mentor Alan Grant—comes back to the island as a consultant. Adult Tim would have had greater personal motivation for rescuing the dopey kids from peril, and the raptors teaming up with the original T-Rex from Jurassic Park to kill the Indominus would be a better callback to the first movie (where the same T-Rex saves Tim and the others from the raptors.)

 

I was less annoyed by product placement than I was the ham-handed nostalgia play within the first five minutes. There is fuck-all taking place onscreen beyond wide establishing shots of the park, yet the audience is being hammered with the original score from Jurassic Park. "DO YOU REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE A KID? THIS IS THAT TOO."

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