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SeanBeaumont

WISHES FOR JASON MANTZOUKAS AND SCOTT AUKERMAN

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Tribute band comedy supergroup. Play a concert. Get me tix and backstage passes

 

Scotty the Hawkermam Aukermam on lead vocals

Todd Barry on drums

Brendon small on the axe

Whatever other comedy person who can play bass

 

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Whatever other comedy person who can play bass

Sting?

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I wish Jason and Scott would write an Uncanny X-Men event featuring a new mutant who can turn the corner of anything into foam

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I wish for Jason to follow me around work for one day with a running dialogue of everything I am doing.

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I hate my job; that being said, my totally fantastical and yet plausible wish for Scott and Jason to fufill is for the both of them to dress up in maternity clothes while wearing of course fake preggo bellies and enter my place of work (a boring and terribly run insurance agency) demanding to see me. The goal is to witness a dramatic baby-mama fight between the two seemingly pregnant gentleman about how I (a 23 year old female,) the cheating impregnantor in question, have kept my affairs with both parties a secret and consequently ended up with two unborn children that I refuse to support. This must be performed for all my coworkers and managers to witness. Yes, this would make life at my job more worthwhile.

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I wish Jason and Scott would apply for jobs as city bus drivers, get the job, and be bus drivers for 1 month.

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- Scott, Jason and a cast of improvisers act out "To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street" as a live play for children.

 

- Scott and Jason enter a hot-dog making contest at some local fair type event. If they place in the top three, they give x to charity.

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a hot-dog making contest?

 

big fan of your catchphrases, btw

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I hate my job; that being said, my totally fantastical and yet plausible wish for Scott and Jason to fufill is for the both of them to dress up in maternity clothes while wearing of course fake preggo bellies and enter my place of work (a boring and terribly run insurance agency) demanding to see me. The goal is to witness a dramatic baby-mama fight between the two seemingly pregnant gentleman about how I (a 23 year old female,) the cheating impregnantor in question, have kept my affairs with both parties a secret and consequently ended up with two unborn children that I refuse to support. This must be performed for all my coworkers and managers to witness. Yes, this would make life at my job more worthwhile.

 

This is fucking brilliant and it needs to happen.

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The woman of my dreams has told me that, if I ever needed a date to a formal event, that she would be my date and wear a formal gown.

 

So my wish is for Scott and Jason to throw a major formal event which 1) I must attend, 2) requires that I bring a date, and 3) ends up making her fall in love with me, romantic comedy style. The details of the event are up to you, but she is a (non-militant) vegan and animal lover, especially cats, and enjoys hip-hop music.

 

If her falling in love with me can't be part of the wish, can I just wish for all of the elements to be there for her to fall in love with?

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My wish is for Jason to be my date to ex-boyfriend's wedding which is a three day long ordeal starting with the Friday night cocktail party and ending with a Sunday brunch (he is marrying well). Over the course of the weekend Jason reluctantly falls in love with my sense of humor, spazzy dancing, and friends (who are so lovely they make me look like a better person). Unfortunately, Jason does not realize until it is too late his deep feelings for me so he follows me to the airport and buys a one way ticket to Palm Springs so he can declare his love at the departure gate while the spectators clap. Scott will be taking calls from Jason all weekend reassuring him that he is just scared because he has been hurt before and this is an opportunity he cannot turn down.

 

For the record, I am nice girl who spent her adulthood focusing on graduate school and my career leaving me in this quandary.

 

Or I will give my wish to angryrose- that Janet sounds like a bitch!

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My wish for Scott and Jason and that one of these things actually happen. Doesn't matter which one. I mean they PINNED THE TOPIC FOR CHRISTS SAKE! THAT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING!

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I wish for 'Zukes to appear with the Scotts in a U Talkin' U2 to Me to host his subpodcast Talkin' 'Tang.

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My wish is for Jason and Scott to use their collective improvisational genius and help me figure out/execute a plan for how to get to Copenhagen for Christmas.

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I wish Jason and Scott would make macaroni necklaces for people with gluten allergies so they can enjoy real pasta on some level.

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I wish Scott and Jason would take turns braiding my hair while I listen to Thin Lizzy at maximum volume inside a yurt that we've erected in a Best Buy parking lot.

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While not as grandiose as some of the wishes on this thread, I would be cool with going to a comic book shop with Scott and Jason and maybe just talk about what we're all reading. They don't need to tell jokes, feel the need to entertain me, or even pretend to like me. It'll just be three super cool, roguishly handsome dudes geeking out over comic books. Also, it would be pretty sweet if I could get an autographed copy of Deadpool 250 as well. And, to be clear, they don't have to autograph it themselves-- just as long as I get a copy with somebody's name scrawled across the cover in Sharpie (ink color would be their choice).

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I wish to attend a Weird Al concert with Scott and have Jason whisper "Heynong Man" to me every night before I go to sleep.

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I wish for Scott and Jason to

 

1. switch heads, then

2. switch bodies, and

3. tell us what it was like.

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I think that whoever wins this hypothetical contest should use the awesome power it grants them for the good of all. Therefore, my wish would be for Scott and Jason to reenact and film at least 5-10 minutes of the classic 1988 movie Bloodsport. They can play whatever characters they like, bring in any other people they want to play other roles, and pick pretty much any scene they want. The only requirements are that it has to be at least 5-10 minutes long, have reasonable production values, that the resulting video be posted on the internet, that the entire production be shot on location in Hong Kong in a realistic set depicting the now demolished Kowloon Walled City, and that they coat themselves in clarified butter for the length of the shoot. The last two points are flexible if I'm being honest, but it would really add to that sense of decadent indulgence that every wisher wishes for.

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I wish to try out all our favorite wrestling moves on each other in a full sized ring with regulation turnbuckles. Then once it was nighttime we would lay out sleeping bags in the ring and look at the stars and talk about our signature pussy eating techniques and release that as the pilot episode of Talkin' 'Tang

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