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EPISODE 117.5 - Minisode 117.5

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Quick question:

 

Is it just me, or is Kurt Russell aging into the bastard love child of Ronald Reagan and Fred Willard?

 

furious7-kurt-russell-1024x576.jpg

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Furious 7 isn't available to rent so I rented Fast Five (my God, the inconsistent titling) instead. It was my first The Fast and the Furious movie. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it was scarcely better. It was like a 15-year-old boy had written the script. From the fast cars and hot women to the insular view of foreign countries as exotic slums to simplistic ethics math. Stealing = Bad, and Drug Lords = Bad, so Stealing from Drug Lord = Good. Criminal organizations thrive by exploiting depressed communities. They built wealth on the backs of the poor and the disenfranchised. So Dom and his familia essentially stole millions of blood money from the people of Brazil to gamble, buy luxury cars and to not face the consequences of their criminal actions. They are awful.

 

Man, people weren't kidding about homoerotic undertones in the franchise. Here's SNL's parody, The Fast and the Bi-Curious.

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Furious 7 isn't available to rent so I rented Fast Five (my God, the inconsistent titling) instead.

 

5 and 6 kept the "Fast" name. They changed it for 7 because:

 

WvXjyPC.gif

 

(I really could gif this whole movie)

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5 and 6 kept the "Fast" name. They changed it for 7 because:

 

WvXjyPC.gif

 

(I really could gif this whole movie)

In part 5, did anyone say "This time, it ain't just about being furious"?

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In the fight scene between Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson that begins around minute 13, there are several face shots of Johnson's body double. Like unmistakably the stunt man, and not Johnson. I don't have clip pulling ability, but I'm sure someone can find it if they look hard enough.

 

Also, did anyone notice the kinda racist ADR of the Chinese/Azerbaijani terrorist that was fighting Paul Walker in the tour bus when he said "too slow"?

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Quick question:

 

Is it just me, or is Kurt Russell aging into the bastard love child of Ronald Reagan and Fred Willard?

 

furious7-kurt-russell-1024x576.jpg

 

How dare you...I can never unsee that now. This movie is still awesome though.

 

I would love it if instead of Nick Cage, they asked if Zouks as the local garage owner would have made it better.

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It was like a 15-year-old boy had written the script. From the fast cars and hot women to the insular view of foreign countries as exotic slums to simplistic ethics math. Stealing = Bad, and Drug Lords = Bad, so Stealing from Drug Lord = Good.

 

Two wrongs don't make a right, fair enough. But two wrongs do make a hard right with the E-brake so that the cops on the take don't get you and your familia. That's movie math.

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Also, did anyone notice the kinda racist ADR of the Chinese/Azerbaijani terrorist that was fighting Paul Walker in the tour bus when he said "too slow"?

Not sure where his character's supposed to be from, but that's Tony Jaa, who is Thai and 100% speaks that way. So I don't really know it's racist to use his actual voice.

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5 and 6 kept the "Fast" name. They changed it for 7 because:

 

WvXjyPC.gif

 

(I really could gif this whole movie)

 

Here's the list of movies in the Fast and Furious franchise:

The Fast and the Furious

2 Fast 2 Furious

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Fast & Furious

Fast Five

Fast & Furious 6

Furious 7

 

My problem with the titles is that they don't follow any formula. Words from the title of the first movie are randomly inserted and omitted. Numbers are sometimes figures, sometimes words. Just pick a lane! And taken as a whole the titles look like rejected bank passwords.

 

Oh, there is something I do like in Fast Five. The heat between Elena and Hobbs, generated almost entirely by Elena's worshipful doe-eyes. She's totally down for Hobbs picking her tiny body up and having his big muscly way with her. I was disappointed that she ended up being a beard for Dom. I just looked up Elsa Pataky, the actress who plays Elena, she's married to Thor. Haha.

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Not sure where his character's supposed to be from, but that's Tony Jaa, who is Thai and 100% speaks that way. So I don't really know it's racist to use his actual voice.

Fair enough, did not know that. I was thrown off enough by the off-timing of the dubbing that I was *certain* that it was someone else's voice.

 

As a related aside, I don't know why he didn't just push Paul Walker out the back of the tour bus.

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Auden had a good point about the listing order of fast furious. with out IMDB you would really have a hard time keeping them in order on say a PVR. ended up watching them out of order.

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Here's the list of movies in the Fast and Furious franchise:

The Fast and the Furious

2 Fast 2 Furious

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Fast & Furious

Fast Five

Fast & Furious 6

Furious 7

 

My problem with the titles is that they don't follow any formula. Words from the title of the first movie are randomly inserted and omitted. Numbers are sometimes figures, sometimes words. Just pick a lane! And taken as a whole the titles look like rejected bank passwords.

 

Oh, there is something I do like in Fast Five. The heat between Elena and Hobbs, generated almost entirely by Elena's worshipful doe-eyes. She's totally down for Hobbs picking her tiny body up and having his big muscly way with her. I was disappointed that she ended up being a beard for Dom. I just looked up Elsa Pataky, the actress who plays Elena, she's married to Thor. Haha.

 

Wasn't the very first 6 title going to be "Furious 6"? Or did I just have a fever dream about that?

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Well, against all reason, I've decided to watch it today, despite not having seen ANY of the other movies in the series.

 

How confused will I be? Time to find out...

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Well, against all reason, I've decided to watch it today, despite not having seen ANY of the other movies in the series.

 

How confused will I be? Time to find out...

You shouldn't be too confused. This might be surprising, but it's not a complex story.

 

 

Wasn't the very first 6 title going to be "Furious 6"? Or did I just have a fever dream about that?

I don't remember that. I know they marketed 6 under Fast Six (although the title onscreen is Fast & Furious 6).

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You shouldn't be too confused. This might be surprising, but it's not a complex story.

 

 

I don't remember that. I know they marketed 6 under Fast Six (although the title onscreen is Fast & Furious 6).

 

Yeah I've had to look up a few character histories so far, but I'm following.

 

What the hell was in that package, an A-bomb?!

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Wasn't the very first 6 title going to be "Furious 6"? Or did I just have a fever dream about that?

 

I could be wrong but I do remember it was supposed to be Fast 5 and Furious 6 as well. Not sure whatever happened to that though.

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So is The Hateful Eight a sequel to Furious 7?

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So is The Hateful Eight a sequel to Furious 7?

There's going to be some confusion at my theater, I just know it. General audiences are fucking DUMB. You should have seen it earlier this year when "Furious 7" and "Mad Max: Fury Road" were out at the same time. Actually, it was worse when the first one left. "What do you mean it's gone? No it ain't, it says it's there right there!". Fuckin' dummies...

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I think they need to bring back another fan favorite to the series and just call the next one "The The 8".

tumblr_lpj96pRNq41qapfqco1_250.gif

(Do you know how hard it is to find a gif of this without the "facebook" part?)

 

Justin is gonna swoop in and make just be "8" before it gets released.

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There's going to be some confusion at my theater, I just know it. General audiences are fucking DUMB. You should have seen it earlier this year when "Furious 7" and "Mad Max: Fury Road" were out at the same time. Actually, it was worse when the first one left. "What do you mean it's gone? No it ain't, it says it's there right there!". Fuckin' dummies...

True, but Fast and Furious 8 hasn't even started filming yet, and isn't due out for two more years. The people that are into the series enough to be keeping up with it at this point probably won't be that confused.

 

Also, the next movie should be called "Infuri8ed."

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True, but Fast and Furious 8 hasn't even started filming yet, and isn't due out for two more years. The people that are into the series enough to be keeping up with it at this point probably won't be that confused.

 

Also, the next movie should be called "Infuri8ed."

You'd be amazed. For instance, the thing I've been hearing a lot in our lobby when people look at the posters on the "Coming Soon" wall is "Oh wow, there's goes to be a Mockingjay Part TWO?!?". From what I understand, the "Hunger Games" films are mighty popular, as is the series of books that they're based on. Also, I'm told that the last film did not actually have an ending, and I know for a fact that it was called Mockingjay PART ONE. These people don't remember what they saw nine months ago, how it ended, or that it was deliberately titled in such a way that promised future installments, so I don't count on them to know if and when something is being made, much less when it comes out.

 

I need a new job...

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