EPISODE 120 - Masters of the Universe

[klemjohansen 748]

"Her costume weighed 45 pounds and the actress sustained injuries to her groin and breastplate"

 

"I'm listening..."

 

 

 

Also, I really can't lie, the more I look at him the more I see June:

 

 

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

First of all, an apology. I've been on vacation for the past week, so most of things I've been posting has been whenever I could a spare moment to log on, but it occurs to me that I never joined my voice in the chorus of praise for of this episode. That was rude of me-- especially when you consider that this episode is, in my opinion, one of the top ten episodes HDTGM has ever done! Tatiana Maslany was a fantastic guest and I hope they can get her to come on again soon!

 

If I had one complaint, and I really don't, it's that the film neglected to include stalwart Masters of the Universe characters, Fisto and Ram Man.

 

 

 

It's like the film makers knew thirty years ago that HDTGM would one day be a thing and they were deliberately trying to make Paul, Jason, and June's job more difficult.

 

Also, on an unrelated note, I believe one of my first posts on the forums ever was--like many other posters--a list of movies I'd like to see them tackle. While I don't stand by that post as much as I did when I wrote it (I've since edited it to take out my stupid jokes and real clunkers), I am happy to say Deep Blue Sea (my number one pick!) and Masters of the Universe (#9) have both been covered this year! I know I'm not the only one to recommend these movies, but I feel somewhat justified that two of my picks have delivered such stellar (Skateboard?) episodes. With that in mind, I would be a happy man indeed if we could get Airborne (#4) done sometime soon. Maybe with Seth Green as the guest...

 

Thanks again for all the fun!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz2CMDCD3WQ

[StoopidChris 16]

By the way, has there ever been a more pointless example of a cumbersome and difficult costume than Meg Foster's as Evil Lin? It's just a hat, a long black tunic, a cape and some accessories. What benefits the film for it to be so heavy she suffers groin damage, for fuck's sake? And what materials did they use?

 

I just figured she was Skeletor's personal chef with that dope-ass hair net. This could be further proof of Skeletor's very serious staffing problem. Maybe if he didn't kill henchmen so willy-nilly, He wouldn't have to up-jump the cook to the Lieutenant of a gang of marauders.

 

Small point but it's weird that Teela sees the cow in the woods. Firstly, do cows live in the woods now? Also, she says it's ugly when it fact that's a damn pretty cow.

 

This is possibly more evidence that Teela is some sort of Puck type character who uses the 4th dimension as a playground.

There's the sniffing of the dirt silliness, shooting the speaker that was playing the movie score, pulling a reference from contemporary earth feminism, and now making a cow appear in some abandoned, arboreal Californian suburb.

[Cameron H. 23786]

I hate to post movie trailers in two successive post, but I've just had the chance to re-listen to this episode without interruption, and I cannot believe that while discussing Dolph Lundgren's filmography, they failed to bring up his role in the Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle Universal Soldier! Wasn't that sort of a big movie? Granted, I've only seen it once and that was years ago, but judging by the trailer, I would think it would be right up HDTGM's alley.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYQVr1PamlY

[Auden 1809]

A piece of lost dialogue from the movie:

 

Skeletor: (for the hundreth time) Kneel before me!

He-Man: Why are you doing the blow job motion?

 

Also when Skeletor gets the sword and transformed into the Master of the Universe, he turns into something that looks as if it comes straight out of a Chinese restaurant.

That reminds me of Shredder in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze", where powering up also got him a new costume.

 

This movie, man...it was gross. I was eating while watching it, and when Gwildor (Gwildemort?) drank that barbecue sauce and it just soaked his beard, I almost puked.

Yeah, that was unpleasant to watch. That was the second gross eating scene I'd watched in the last week. The other one was from "The House of the Devil". The most horrifying scene in that movie was Greta Gerwig eating pizza and then loudly sucking and licking her fingers.

 

I also loved He-Man prematurely reacting to the laser whip. He would wince a good 2 seconds before impact.

I laughed out loud at that scene. He not only winced, he also twisted his hips away in a rather saucy "Oooh, miss me! Try again!" manner.

 

Is "Monica", Courtney Cox's co-worker at the rib and chicken place, the real hero of the movie? In her brief appearance, she offers Cox some advice (probably related to why she shouldn't worry about her plane crashing), she takes a big bite of chicken, they hug. When they hug, Monica the co-worker doesn't have the common courtesy to put down her drumstick! She's holding it the entire time, presumably smearing that delicious 11 herb grease all up in Courtney's hair.

The grease bothers me a lot.

 

A few more thoughts about the fast food restaurant scene:

 

- A fried chicken/BBQ fast food restaurant is a weird combo. There are many BBQ restaurants in Austin and non of them serves fried chicken. The 2 foods seem to require v. different setups.

 

- Before chowing down on the drumstick Julie's friend picked up a french fry. She's treating the restaurant like her own kitchen and committing goodness knows how many health code violations.

 

- A drumstick is an odd choice of food to eat casually while standing in front of someone else. Usually people do that with something small like chips, cocktail sausages, cheddar cubes, french fries, and not something that requires serious tearing of flesh with your teeth.

 

- That friend is awful. She told Julie so seriously that she was going to give her a present but it turned out to be shitty advice.

[kreeger 6]

Why are they putting Burger King trash into the sink?

 

You guys… we are not talking enough about why Kevin is putting his Burger King trash into the sink in the middle of this film.

[Cameron H. 23786]

- That friend is awful. She told Julie so seriously that she was going to give her a present but it turned out to be shitty advice.

 

 

LOL!

 

Yeah, didn't it go something like:

 

Friend: I got you a present!

 

Julie: Awesome! You didn't have to do that!

 

Friend: It's not wrapped...

 

Julie: That's cool!

 

Friend: It's advice.

 

Julie: Oh...great...

 

Look, you narcissistic asshole--I don't care how sage-like you feel your opinions are; advice is just advice, not a gift you bestow upon people! Now wash your goddamn hands!

[Cameron H. 23786]

Shit guys, I'm sorry. This will be my fourth post on this page. I really hate doing that. I don't mean to hijack the thread. I think I might just be making up for lost time. My apologies.

 

Anyway...

 

Gwildor’s line about the entire universe being made up of music got me thinking. It seems like the music that opens these portals act almost like a passageway to various interdimensional zipcodes. If this is true, not only does it reinforce Cam Bert and my earlier theory that Gwildor has used that musical combination to travel to Kevin and Julie’s small town before and possibly caused the deaths of Julie’s mom and dad, it also means that, provided one has access to one of Gwildor's keys, every combination of notes must lead to somewhere. I mean, yes, the number of permutations with which one can arrange notes might seem like you have an infinite number of possibilities, but mathematically, there is still only a set number of ways notes can be strung together to make a melody. And when you consider that each melody opens, not just a portal to anywhere within the Eternian universe, but also all other possible universes—with the additional benefit of any when in all of these universes--the number of musical combinations has to correlate pretty damn closely to the number of--also nearly infinite--places in space and time one can go.*

 

So, my question is: is this what is happening in a-ha’s “Take On Me” video?

 

I would also like to propose a challenge to everyone here. Given my hypothesis above, please provide a song by a notable “song maker,” that when connected to Gwildor’s key, would create a space/time rift and then tell us where said portal would take us.

 

 

 

*I will concede that Gwildor makes a big deal about a person being a “song maker,” and maybe that has something to do with how well you can open these portals, but given the definition given in the movie of what a “song maker” is, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that many people can be considered “song makers.” According to the movie, a “song maker” is simply a person who can recall a catchy melody, and maybe, also has “perfect pitch”—which I admit is a rare ability, but not all that uncommon.

[Molly L. 99]

Small point but it's weird that Teela sees the cow in the woods. Firstly, do cows live in the woods now? Also, she says it's ugly when it fact that's a damn pretty cow.

 

That is weird - I've seen a lot of cows in California, and I've seen many of the woodsy areas California has to offer, but in my experience there hasn't been much overlap between the cows and the woods...

 

But I guess that only holds if this film is supposed to be set in CA, which rather seems like the case, but then again maybe they printed the wrong place on the newspaper and just did a really bad job hiding the palm trees...wouldn't put it past this movie.

[GottaLoveTheGute 41]

First of all, an apology. I've been on vacation for the past week, so most of things I've been posting has been whenever I could a spare moment to log on, but it occurs to me that I never joined my voice in the chorus of praise for of this episode. That was rude of me-- especially when you consider that this episode is, in my opinion, one of the top ten episodes HDTGM has ever done! Tatiana Maslany was a fantastic guest and I hope they can get her to come on again soon! If I had one complaint, and I really don't, is that the film neglected to include stalwart Masters of the Universe characters, Fisto and Ram Man. It's like the film makers knew thirty years ago that HDTGM would one day be a thing and they were deliberately trying to make Paul, Jason, and June's job more difficult. Also, on an unrelated note, I believe one of my first posts on the forums ever was--like many other posters--a list of movies I'd like to see them tackle. While I don't stand by that post as much as I did when I wrote it (I've since edited it to take out my stupid jokes and real clunkers), I am happy to say Deep Blue Sea (my number one pick!) and Masters of the Universe (#9) have both been covered this year! I know I'm not the only one to recommend these movies, but I feel somewhat justified that two of my picks have delivered such stellar (Skateboard?) episodes. With that in mind, I would be a happy man indeed if we could get Airborne (#4) done sometime soon. Maybe with Seth Green as the guest... Thanks again for all the fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz2CMDCD3WQ

 

That's not the Airborne I know. The Gute's Airborne from 1998 is a better candidate.

 

[Cockney Mackem 514]

 

That's not the Airborne I know. The Gute's Airborne from 1998 is a better candidate.

 

 

Aaaaaaaaand I've got a new podcast to add to my queue, because I love the gute....

[SamNitz 2]

So Skeletor's henchperson tracking the interference for one of cosmic keys says he doesn't know what the interference is.

 

This is a universe that can open up interdimensional portals between worlds, has laser guns, and floating cars. How is the concept of microwave/radiation completely unknown to them? They can trace it and blow it up...but still don't know what it is. Really?

[MarkBeazley 5]

One of the oddest things in the film is when Courtney Cox runs out to the mirage of her mom not just for the mirage, but she leaves while her boyfriend is wrestling the cop over possession of a gun. She just abandons two separate gun fights -- He-Man and the Eternians in the front of the music store and her boyfriend and friend Charlie fighting the cop -- to go talk to a ghost.

[DanNicholson 83]

I hate to post movie trailers in two successive post, but I've just had the chance to re-listen to this episode without interruption, and I cannot believe that while discussing Dolph Lundgren's filmography, they failed to bring up his role in the Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle Universal Soldier! Wasn't that sort of a big movie? Granted, I've only seen it once and that was years ago, but judging by the trailer, I would think it would be right up HDTGM's alley.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYQVr1PamlY

 

Universal Soldier was a glaring omission from that list, although to be fair, it did make a tonne of money and was probably one of Dolph and JCVDs best movies.

 

Should be part of the alternate reality "Thank God This Got Made" podcast series, like "Con Air" and "Face Off"

[pscudese 701]

I totally forgot to mention this earlier, but when Courtney Cox comes in to the casting session... she is simply referred to as "the girl in the Springsteen video."

 

I mean as an 80s kid growing up in NJ, I memorized that video by heart. Hell... she did the Carlton way before Fresh Prince.

 

I just love this is what's Cox is known for before MOTU.

 

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Universal Soldier was a glaring omission from that list, although to be fair, it did make a tonne of money and was probably one of Dolph and JCVDs best movies.

 

Should be part of the alternate reality "Thank God This Got Made" podcast series, like "Con Air" and "Face Off"

It has a pretty good pedigree, being one of the first Dean Devlin/Roland Emmerich collaborations. The second and third official sequels, "Regeneration" and "Day of Reckoning", are pretty great as well, with each of the three films in that "trilogy" (fuck "The Return") having a completely different feel to them. Van Damme has quite the interesting arc.

[DanNicholson 83]

Guys..... come on...... Where's talk about all the Richard Szponder aka Pigboy?

 

He's a contest winner FFS! Where's his parade?

[FisterRoboto 7499]

I was at a film festival all last week and busy either recovering from that/the bug I caught there or trying to get caught up at work, so I just got to listen to this today. So I'm a bit late popping into the thread (and unfortunately missed most of what Cameron and everyone were doing in the minisode thread).

 

All I want to say is that Tatiana's laugh is where puppies come from. I noticed it a bit in her CBB episode, but it was on full display here. It's up there with Marc Evan Jackson's laugh in my book (which, by the way, is the cure for cancer).

 

I loved everything about this ep. Tatiana is clearly an Earwolf fan and meshed right into this episode the same way she did with CBB. Having so many live episodes in a row really made me really appreciate having this studio episode. I feel like their dynamic really shines better in the studio, even though the live eps are so much higher energy.

 

Oh, and I could listen to stories about Paul's awkward childhood all day.

[Auden 1809]

Fisto and Ram Man.

 

 

Oh my.

 

The first 3 results when I googled "fisto ram man":

 

[StoopidChris 16]

Gwildor’s line about the entire universe being made up of music got me thinking. It seems like the music that opens these portals act almost like a passageway to various interdimensional zipcodes. If this is true, not only does it reinforce Cam Bert and my earlier theory that Gwildor has used that musical combination to travel to Kevin and Julie’s small town before and possibly caused the deaths of Julie’s mom and dad, it also means that, provided one has access to one of Gwildor's keys, every combination of notes must lead to somewhere. I mean, yes, the number of permutations with which one can arrange notes might seem like you have an infinite number of possibilities, but mathematically, there is still only a set number of ways notes can be strung together to make a melody. And when you consider that each melody opens, not just a portal to anywhere within the Eternian universe, but also all other possible universes—with the additional benefit of any when in all of these universes--the number of musical combinations has to correlate pretty damn closely to the number of--also nearly infinite--places in space and time one can go.*

 

So, my question is: is this what is happening in a-ha’s “Take On Me” video?

 

I would also like to propose a challenge to everyone here. Given my hypothesis above, please provide a song by a notable “song maker,” that when connected to Gwildor’s key, would create a space/time rift and then tell us where said portal would take us.

 

So I think the guys in the A-Ha video are acolytes of Skeletor; all of them. They were using the other cosmic key (the one Skeletor suddenly has like half way through the movie) for some nefarious purpose. By stumbling upon the melody from "Take on me", they managed to gain access to this animated realm.

 

This does dig a hole in my theory about Eternians being so musically inept that they consider remembering a melody a feat that could only be accomplished by a "master song-writer", but whatever--something something chimpanzees write Shakespeare. I digress.

 

This Eternian conman poses as a symmetrically faced fella and seeks out lonely teens to lure into a comic book world of motorcycle racing and playing peek-a-boo in a floating window. Two of his cronies act like they are going to beat the everlovingshit out of him for winning the race or something as he "selflessly" helps her escape, aaaand the bait is set.

 

The victim is wracked with confusion and desperation, and, if the plan works, seeks out somewhere private to mourn her would-be, colorless boyfriend and try to figure out what the hell happened. The evil acolyte reappears all sweaty from ordeals (and looking surprisingly good for someone that just had two dudes play him like a human whack-a-mole with monkey wrenches) and puts on a "Seeee, baby. I got all beat up/beat myself up on these walls for you! Because our bond is that strong!" look on his face.

 

It's already too late for her. Captain Manipulation has her return to the fantasy world of cute grease monkey musicians and vaguely Italian, 60's era race car drivers where she will be summarily turned into one of the many thousands of Skeletor's broke-ass storm troopers.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As for your challenge:

I like to think that Sammy Hagar finds a cosmic key while taking a short break from ruining Van Halen and plays a little diddy he's been working on called "

". This promptly opens up a wormhole to a dimension where every person alive is a silent, yet animated, character in a prescription drug commercial. He helplessly goes through the motions of doing "happy, normal person things" being fully aware that he not only suffers from psoriasis and IBS and herpes II, but also suffers from all of the diarheah, nausea, heartburn, fatigue, hot tub foot, swollen fingers, and loss of hearing that are the compiled side effects from the pills he's constantly popping down his dry, dry gullet.

 

*edit: a word and formatting

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

As for your challenge:

I like to think that Sammy Hagar finds a cosmic key while taking a short break from ruining Van Halen and plays a little diddy he's been working on called "

". This promptly opens up a wormhole to a dimension where every person alive is a silent, yet animated, character in a prescription drug commercial. He helplessly goes through the motions of doing "happy, normal person things" being fully aware that he not only suffers from psoriasis and IBS and herpes II, but also suffers from all of the diarheah, nausea, heartburn, fatigue, hot tub foot, swollen fingers, and loss of hearing that are the compiled side effects from the pills he's constantly popping down his dry, dry gullet.

 

 

Brilliant!

 

Poor Sammy, if only there were some sort of liquid he could drink to make those pills go down easier...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPvyq_KmXhc

[BurrMartin 2]

Paul, you weren't the only one taping movies.

I bought a micro cassette recorder and snuck it into Ghostbusters so I could listen to it on the school bus and at home also.

LOL.

[Marmaducca 12]

This movie holds a special place in heart. I also think this movie was one of my gay roots because i was obssessed with Skeletor from the movie as a kid. While I loved watching the cartoon I would always go back to the film because I was just drawn to how Frank Langella played him. His performance was utterly captivating and i would rewatch all of scenes over and over and over. For some reason as a little kid I was enthralled by his scenes with He-man captured. I also had numerous nightmares from Evil-lyn and thinking my parents would disappear on me like how Evil-lyn pretended to be Courtney Cox's mother. I hope more performances in films would be like Skeletor or Ming the Merciless in Flash Gordon.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Paul, you weren't the only one taping movies.

I bought a micro cassette recorder and snuck it into Ghostbusters so I could listen to it on the school bus and at home also.

LOL.

There was also the dude that snuck a recorder into Star Wars in 1977:

 

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2015/05/08/star_wars_audio_recording_from_1977_theater_what_it_sounded_like_when_people.html

[RyanSz 3140]

Oh my.

 

The first 3 results when I googled "fisto ram man":

 

You're lucky that's what you got, could have ended up a very different search depending on current trends.