EPISODE 124 - Hackers

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

Regarding the sprinklers on in the school prank. I have never designed a sprinkler system but I don't think I'd ever put in the timed sprinkler test which, at best, will cause thousands of dollars worth of water damage.

 

 

I think the sprinklers thing is when I went from "this guy is obnoxious" to full on "oh, I fucking hate you." This is his plan to get her back for the stupid "swimming pool" prank she pulled? Not only does he cause thousands of dollars worth of damage to the school, but he is basically punishing everyone at the school--including the 10 or so other nerdlings on the roof who were stupid enough to fall for the same prank.

 

Also, I couldn't understand his reticence for moving to New York City. It seems like it would be one of the few places in America that would embrace his eccentricities. It's not like we get a scene where he is saying goodbye to friends or any other attachments. What is so special about where they lived that NYC is such a horrible alternative? Not to mention that the High School he ends up going to appears to be lousy with computer hackers.

[ChunkStyle 1160]

Also, I couldn't understand his reticence for moving to New York City. It seems like it would be one of the few places in America that would embrace his eccentricities. It's not like we get a scene where he is saying goodbye to friends or any other attachments. What is so special about where they lived that NYC is such a horrible alternative. This isn't even to mention that the High School he ends up going to appears to be lousy with computer hackers.

 

Yes at one point he makes a bitchy statement about not having a lawn. When his character seems like the last person on Earth who would care about that.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

Yes at one point he makes a bitchy statement about not having a lawn. When his character seems like the last person on Earth who would care about that.

 

Exactly! I had forgotten that line. I know when I think of a "computer hacker," I think of a real outdoorsy, Paul Bunyan, get-out- in-the-sunshine type of kid.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Yes at one point he makes a bitchy statement about not having a lawn. When his character seems like the last person on Earth who would care about that.

Speaking of that, all the other kids that got stuck on the roof were nerds or something, right? The absolute last people that would give a shit about there being a pool on the roof.

[Cameron H. 23786]

Speaking of that, all the other kids that got stuck on the roof were nerds or something, right? The absolute last people that would give a shit about there being a pool on the roof.

 

Are you kidding me?? Nerds are always the first people to rip off their shirts on a warm, Spring day.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Big ommission: It was a super huge deal when this kid was busted for computer crimes, right? Can't touch a computer again until they turn 18? So, he turns 18, and where the hell is everyone? No "Where are they now" on this fucking kid?

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

Who is going to start a GoFundMe for an Earwolf pool?

[Cam Bert 8145]

Johnny Lee Miller was typing so painfully slow in the TV station hacking contest scene. I think later the director figured out to tell him "Just throw your fingers at the keyboard don't worry about actually typing the right words."

 

Also what's doubly funny about this is the fact when he's working on Acid Burn's computer he's typing a mile a minute which prompts Acid Burn to say "I hope you don't make love like you type." At this point he slows down to about the same speed he was using to hack the TV station. Maybe we are led to believe that after not using a computer for five years his typing speed had been reduced and he was slowly getting back into the speed of things.

 

Also, if you are a "l33t haxor" like he supposedly was, being out of the game for five years would be a huge set back wouldn't it? Technology and internet moves pretty fast so the technology of his first hack would be somewhat outdated or changed by the time he turned eighteen. I'm sure he could read magazines and things to stay in the loop but reading and learning and actually putting into practice are two different things. Maybe he was such a rebel that he was using computers that whole time!

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

When they were talking about the "Runaway" gun robot getting work again, I'd forgotten about the robot with the gun lighter. I thought they meant the tape-changing robot at the very beginning. I started thinking about how it made sense, that after having to serve time for the "Runaway" incident, gun robot had probably fallen on hard times. Not a lot of people were looking to hire family-murdering robots, but he finally managed to get a gig working at some shitty UHF station in the middle of the night and was getting his shit back together. That is, until some asshole kid decided he was going to take over a TV station...

 

#GunRobotLivesMatter

[ChunkStyle 1160]

Also, if you are a "l33t haxor" like he supposedly was, being out of the game for five years would be a huge set back wouldn't it? Technology and internet moves pretty fast so the technology of his first hack would be somewhat outdated or changed by the time he turned eighteen. I'm sure he could read magazines and things to stay in the loop but reading and learning and actually putting into practice are two different things. Maybe he was such a rebel that he was using computers that whole time!

 

I think that what the movie actually wants us to believe is that Zero Cool has an innate hacking gift and if he got magically transported to the year 2323 he would be hacking those systems in under a minute.

[Cam Bert 8145]

Time for my weekly:

 

How Did This Get Named?

 

Sadly not so funny or interesting this time. Hackers is simply Cybernet (Saibaanetto). You might think to yourself, "Oh, do they call the internet the cybernet?" Nope. In fact the The Net is The Internet and it came out at the exact same time. Dante's Peek and Volcano all over again you guys.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Don't feel too sad for Fisher Stevens, guys. This was either during or shortly after the time that he got to put his penis in Michelle Pfeiffer on a regular basis. The man gets no pity from me.

[babyoilbandit 81]

Don't feel too sad for Fisher Stevens, guys. This was either during or shortly after the time that he got to put his penis in Michelle Pfeiffer on a regular basis. The man gets no pity from me.

Motherfucker. So the Lorraine Bracco thing was not so far-fetched after all.

[PushkinThunderLiger 21]

I just want to know what happened to Acid Burn's boyfriend... They seemed pretty serious the whole movie and then suddenly she's with JLM?

Yeah I definitely thought the biker boyfriend was being set up as Dade's love rival and they'd end up squaring off at some point in the movie, but nope, nothing happens. I can only assume he ended up with Dade's dad in the blackhole of stuff that seems like it's going to become a subplot of the film but goes nowhere.

[Cam Bert 8145]

 

I think that what the movie actually wants us to believe is that Zero Cool has an innate hacking gift and if he got magically transported to the year 2323 he would be hacking those systems in under a minute.

 

Now, that's the movie I want to see!

 

Hackers 2: The Hacked Planet

 

Zero Cool was the first mutant born on the planet. Much like Doug "Cypher" Ramsey whose mutant ability to intuitively understand any language be it human, alien or computer, Zero Cool can instantly "hack" into anything at anytime. While hacking into some top secret pentagon files he got by going through some backdoors with his 32 RAM and light up modem he stumbles across some garbage files on a top secret time travel project. As he goes in to further hack them he accidentally time slips himself into the far off future of 2323! Regular humans are now enslaved to their mutant overlords. A lowly slave whom he tries to save upon entering the future by using his rollerblading skills, that's right Prayer of the Rollerboys totally came true but with mutants and not Corey Haim, dies in his arm and leaves his wrist computer with Zero Cool. He hacks into it to find out that he wasn't the first mutant, he was the second. The first mutant was... The Plague. In the year 2000 due to the dreaded Y2K bug The Plague using a computer at his minimum security prison was able to harness his mutant power and transfer his consciousness on to the internet. He's been there the entire time controlling the human race by hunting out other leet haxor mutants and awaking their powers. Now Zero Cool must teach the non-mutant humans how to hack the planet and win it back. He raises and army of people to hack into the mainframe of earth and finally take down The Plague for good. Victory is bittersweet as he wishes he could go back in time and be with his true love Acid Burn. One of the slaves tell him that the mutants had been working on a time travel program of their own. He hacks into their backdoor kernels and 64 baud modems and finds out how to go back in time. Unfortunately he put a full stop in the wrong place and goes back in time to the year 996! Setting up the threequel, Hackers 3: Hack to the Future!

[Cameron H. 23786]

Here's something I found perplexing:

 

When Miller and Jolie have their interaction at the cyberbar/skatepark they propose a bet--which, if Miller wins, will mean getting a single date with Jolie. As for Jolie, she says that if she wins, he has to be her "slave"--a stake, by the way, she never sets a time cap on. So...I guess if he loses, he's, like, her's forever..?

 

Anyway, later in the film, when they up the ante of the bet, Miller tells her that if he wins, she will now have to wear a dress on their date. She then replies, "And if I [win], so do you." I found this incredibly odd since she doesn't really heighten the stakes on her own bet and basically capitulates on the whole "slavery" thing. In effect she is saying, "Win or lose--I'm going on a date with you." And since she doesn't say, "And if I win, you'll be the person wearing a dress, not me" she is also conceding, "Oh, and I'll be wearing a dress regardless. From here on out, this bet is strictly about how you'll be attired when we do go on this inevitable date."

 

(I will concede that she could be saying that, as her slave, he'll be wearing a dress, but this is not how the scene is either written or acted.)

[pscudese 701]

Anyway, later in the film, when they up the ante of the bet, Miller tells her that if he wins, she will now have to wear a dress on their date. She then replies, "And if I [win], so do you." I found this incredibly odd since she doesn't really heighten the stakes on her own bet and basically capitulates on the whole "slavery" thing. In effect she is saying, "Win or lose--I'm going on a date with you." And since she doesn't say, "And if I win, you'll be the person wearing a dress, not me" she is also conceding, "Oh, and I'll be wearing a dress regardless. From here on out, this bet is strictly about how you'll be attired when we do go on this inevitable date."

 

 

Also what is so strange to me, is that at the end it almost appears that Dade is wearing a dress or something to that nature. I immediately thought it was a draw in the end.

 

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[Cameron H. 23786]

 

Also what's doubly funny about this is the fact when he's working on Acid Burn's computer he's typing a mile a minute which prompts Acid Burn to say "I hope you don't make love like you type." At this point he slows down to about the same speed he was using to hack the TV station. Maybe we are led to believe that after not using a computer for five years his typing speed had been reduced and he was slowly getting back into the speed of things.

 

I thought this line was meant to imply that, like his typing, his love making would be clumsy and erratic.

[pscudese 701]

Just had to post some more of this great background audio...

 

 

- Pete, The S Man

 

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[pscudese 701]

I didn't know glamour shots were a part of one's school profile...

 

- Pete, The S Man

 

[/img]

[Cam Bert 8145]

Here's something I found perplexing:

 

When Miller and Jolie have their interaction at the cyberbar/skatepark they propose a bet--which, if Miller wins, will mean getting a single date with Jolie. As for Jolie, she says that if she wins, he has to be her "slave"--a stake, by the way, she never sets a time cap on. So...I guess if he looses, he's, like, her's forever..?

 

Anyway, later in the film, when they up the ante of the bet, Miller tells her that if he wins, she will now have to wear a dress on their date. She then replies, "And if I [win], so do you." I found this incredibly odd since she doesn't really heighten the stakes on her own bet and basically capitulates on the whole "slavery" thing. In effect she is saying, "Win or lose--I'm going on a date with you." And since she doesn't say, "And if I win, you'll be the person wearing a dress, not me" she is also conceding, "Oh, and I'll be wearing a dress regardless. From here on out, this bet is strictly about how you'll be attired when we do go on this inevitable date."

 

(I will concede that she could be saying that, as her slave, he'll be wearing a dress, but this is not how the scene is either written or acted.)

I just assumed that when they first made the bet she wasn't all that into him. However, as they went along in this "hack off" her interest and feelings grew to the point where she'd be actually into going on a date with him. She would give him his date because that's not repulsing anymore and the new perimeters were "We're going on a date regardless, winner decides who the dress wearer will be." I think at that point the slave thing is kinda off and it's just weird flirting. Maybe not. As evident from me being 32 and single, I am not good at flirting nor fully understand it.

[pscudese 701]

Paul... Can you explain the logic behind recording the sound of $5 in change being deposited into a payphone will in turn get you free calls when you play it back?

[Cam Bert 8145]

Edit: Joke sounded more mean than funny. I didn't want any accidentally offend my friends on her so enjoy this gif from the Hackers making of or something.

 

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Omission: Guys, the agents at the end are on the PLANE when Fisher Stevens has made his getaway. I guess that with them being so close and ready to strike throughout the rest of the movie, it should come as no surprise though.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I love that this movie follows the logic that ALL that matters is what the computer says. Like, all of a sudden, because the computer says so, the cops are just going to go along with the idea that someone is an international drug dealer with 137 driving violations or whatever. No physical proof at all, no evidence of any past crimes, no one in the department or Secret Service has heard of them before now, etc.

 

This also seems to apply to school, right? Someone goes in, changes their grade, and the teachers don't question it? "I SWEAR this kid's a fuck-up and never even comes to class, but the computer says I gave him an A, so I guess he gets an A...".