EPISODE 124 - Hackers

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Is it just me, or did the main characters look like they were straight out of the gang from "Rumble in the Bronx"?

 

Also, we can agree that this movie would have NO legacy whatsoever if it wasn't for the early appearance of Angelina Jolie, correct?

[Cameron H. 23786]

There's a scene toward the start of the movie before Miller's first day of school where his mother is giving him crap about being on the computer all night. I believe she then goes into, I guess a bit--at least she seems to pretend to be on the phone with someone--and says into the phone, "Yes, he could be playing with himself. Yes, I'll ask. Dade, you like girls, don't you?"

 

Umm...what the fuck is going on in this scene? Is she trying to puzzle out his 'bating schedule? Is she worried he's not jacking off enough? Regardless, if as a teenager either of my parents ever asked me this question, I would be beyond mortified. Besides, he's a teenage boy. If the door to his room is closed at all, there's a 95% chance that he is definitely jerking it--100% chance if he has a computer in there.

 

However, this did lead to one of my favorite storming-out-of-the-room lines ever: "Right, Mom. And I'm still a virgin!!!!"

[jarrycanada 2483]

BTW everyone it's Fisher Stevens birthday today.

[IJoinedJustForThis 35]

 

You can't be too disappointed if they don't mention something that stood out to you. All of us are unique little snowflakes.

 

I knew this wouldn't translate over text, but I'm not really upset. I'm merely talking about that strange feeling that wasn't a thing up until now - remember, first time prewatching upcoming movie. I'm not sure I want to prewatch again, it may be better to enjoy their take, then post-watch the film and possibly comment on the minisode. I think pre-watching may ruin their take for me. YMMV of course.

[tigerlilies83 2]

Just gotta say. Less than 5 min into the movie my boyfriend slaughtered the premise of the move with the question, "He is not allowed to touch a computer for 6 YEARS and he is a hacker?!" The local TV station might be behind the times as far as technology goes, maybe the school too, but how is that impressing his so called ELITE hacker friends.

[NundercoverBrother 174]

June being surprised about the hacked Jeep and responding "Fuck That" was one of many early laughs in the show today.

And of course the Mission of BB8 is to Love.

[IJoinedJustForThis 35]

June being surprised about the hacked Jeep and responding "Fuck That"

 

No offense to Paul, but I would really like to meet June for coffee like once a week.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

I knew this wouldn't translate over text, but I'm not really upset. I'm merely talking about that strange feeling that wasn't a thing up until now - remember, first time prewatching upcoming movie. I'm not sure I want to prewatch again, it may be better to enjoy their take, then post-watch the film and possibly comment on the minisode. I think pre-watching may ruin their take for me. YMMV of course.

 

No, I get that. I apologize, my reply was snarkier than I was really intending. There are movies of theirs that I've never seen because I don't think the reality could ever live up to the expectation (e.g. Winter's Tale) I guess it all really depends on the level of participation you want to have. For me, I like to hear how their viewing, and the viewing of those who post here, differs from my own. But, yeah, no big deal really. I guess I was just trying, in my own clumsy way, to encourage you to post your own thoughts of the movie if they were different from what was discussed on the episode.

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Almost forgot this - Did anyone else catch that Paul started the Blue Apron ad with "Hey, non-cookers!"

 

HEY NONG COOKERS!!!

[JeddJong 50]

I guess you could Dade had Zero Chill. YEEAHHHHH!!!

[Joven 373]

Just a few corrections:

Its not "the internet" that they are in and representing with the city computer, its a single computer system (the Gibson).

 

The light emanating in the dark wasn't from a modem, it was from a laptop which had a modem, they were impressed that it had a 28.8kbps modem, which goes to show how slow their other ones must have been.

 

It wasn't a body suit in Angelina's dream that Dade was wearing, it was a dress. Because of the bet, she was imagining it and seemingly way into it.

 

The green snack (some kind of sour licorice rope is what i would think) didn't happen in the middle of the attack, it was while he was threatening Dade's mom.

 

---

 

 

3. The scene where Nikon realizes that Jonny Lee Miller's character is the famed Zero Cool, he acts surprised to learn that Zero Cool isn't black. Did the 12 year-old Zero Cool hack in a certain race-based way?

 

I'm assuming most all details about him would have been obscured due to him being a minor (otherwise Nikon should have remembered them), so he just imposed his own identity onto him. Although the relatively lenient sentencing would have been a good tip-off that he wasn't actually black.

 

Its also kinda weird how Cereal is both incredibly flakey but ultimately reliable. Plus in his favor, that he knew what Dade meant when he shouted about how the government was TRASHING OUR RIGHTS! Point against...that he proceeded to yell loudly HACK THE PLANET! right in the middle of a crowd of people surrounded by police who probably had his picture, since the arrest warrants went out included him.

 

Speaking of the arrest warrants, how did they know their hacker aliases? I buy they knew Dade's, since theyve been in contact, but was like Lord Nikon ever even on their radar? I guess Joey just spilled everything.

 

One last thing, so we are with Agent Gill as he is getting his flood of phone calls after the personal ad, but one thing always stuck out to me. Seemingly those are calls that are starting when he picks them up, or messages left on his phone that hes trying to go through that would presumably play from the beginning. But we never hear why they call that one gentleman Stallion. Is he just really bad at creepy phone sex? As soon as the phone picks up he's already almost done with his call. Why do they call him Stallion?!

[starri 116]

Also, we can agree that this movie would have NO legacy whatsoever if it wasn't for the early appearance of Angelina Jolie, correct?

 

I think it would have a certain cult appeal, but perhaps not as much as it does because of her performance.

 

Man, she looks like a Vulcan.

 

I will also say that I think the movie does have a great soundtrack.

[klemjohansen 748]

Paul: "it's unlocking the who did the what."

 

The thing I love most about this episode is that, when it comes to hacking/phreaking culture, all three of them are June.

[RyanSz 3140]

Also, we can agree that this movie would have NO legacy whatsoever if it wasn't for the early appearance of Angelina Jolie, correct?

 

To be fair Jolie's first real role, which came out just before this film, Cyborg 2, is just as bonkers yet no one ever mentions it so this movie does have a bit more cult appeal.

 

Also, the bodysuit Jolie was wearing was for Sexwax, as I'm sure a way to up her sex appeal within the movie since many people might not know what it is, a friend of mine did ask if was some kind of lube and I had to tell her is was a surfing product. And another thing, how has no one yet brought up that the movie site was actually attacked by legit hackers upon the film's release?

 

[klemjohansen 748]

[JustinL 216]

Not the biggest problem with the movie, but regarding the pool on the roof prank?

 

He opens the door to reveal like twelve kids standing by the edge of the roof. They run over to him saying "Hold the door!" as it closes behind him. Here's an idea: stand by the door. Not fifty feet away. That way the next time an oblivious lunkhead bursts through at full bore you won't be caught by surprise.

[RyanSz 3140]

Not the biggest problem with the movie, but regarding the pool on the roof prank?

 

He opens the door to reveal like twelve kids standing by the edge of the roof. They run over to him saying "Hold the door!" as it closes behind him. Here's an idea: stand by the door. Not fifty feet away. That way the next time an oblivious lunkhead bursts through at full bore you won't be caught by surprise.

If they were stupid enough to fall for the initial prank to begin with, I doubt that they would be smart enough to put someone by the door.

[AndrewCottier 3]

I was so annoyed that they were doing this film, even half way through when I was like I don't remember that bit I was thinking: how dare they do this film. It's brilliant.

 

The hacking wasn't that bad in it! Robert Redford was pretty good and oh I'm thinking of Sneakers

[RyanSz 3140]

I know they mentioned wanting to do The Net sometime soon but I can't remember that being too crazy outside of a couple moments. If anything I thought they would do Johnny Mnemonic since that is so batshit insane in its portrayal of cyberpunk and hacking.

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Also on Joey... he is the only legitimate actor who is a teenager (16). All of the other talent ranges from 20 (Jolie) to 25 (Lillard.)

Yeah, everyone else was well into their 20s. I think Matthew Lillard was the oldest at 25.

 

But, for some reason, the 16-year-old is the one who was chain smoking (sometimes with BOTH HANDS) for the whole movie.

 

So, was I the only one pining for the 90's while watching this horrible movie? Not that Hackers represents in any way shape or form the things I miss about the 90's, but there are pieces here and there. Like, I was never a huge Pearl Jam fan back when, but now every time I hear one of their songs in passing, they kind of make me all misty of the salad days.

What about when JLM said his name was "Eddie Vedder" when he called the tv station at the beginning? It's not like Pearl Jam was some underground group that no one knew in 1995.

 

But yeah, having been a teenager in the 90s, I did get some major nostalgia watching this movie.

 

This film would pair nicely with another absolutely shit, teen slacker pandering film from the same time: Empire Records. Talk about self torture viewing.

Dude, I fucking hate this movie, and I know so many people that think it's sooooo wonderful. I think the problem I have with it is one of the same ones I have with Hackers. Whoever wrote these movies has NO idea how people actually talk. They try to write all this "cool" dialogue, and it just sounds so stilted and shitty. Literally every line JLM says in Hackers is terrible. That's not how computer nerds have EVER talked (which isn't to say they don't have their own terrible way of speaking sometimes; it's just not like this).

 

June being surprised about the hacked Jeep and responding "Fuck That" was one of many early laughs in the show today.

And of course the Mission of BB8 is to Love.

I laughed so hard at that. "Fuck that.....fuuuuuck!" Those are the kinds of moments that guest-less episodes are made for.

 

I know they mentioned wanting to do The Net sometime soon but I can't remember that being too crazy outside of a couple moments. If anything I thought they would do Johnny Mnemonic since that is so batshit insane in its portrayal of cyberpunk and hacking.

Doug Benson did a Johnny Mnemonic Interruption recently. I really wish I could have seen it because I bet it was outstanding! He had never seen it before, and one of the guests on DLM was trying to give him a quick plot overview and said, "He's basically just a walking flash drive," which is the best possible plot summary of that movie.

[RyanSz 3140]

Doug Benson did a Johnny Mnemonic Interruption recently. I really wish I could have seen it because I bet it was outstanding! He had never seen it before, and one of the guests on DLM was trying to give him a quick plot overview and said, "He's basically just a walking flash drive," which is the best possible plot summary of that movie.

 

Thinking on it, Johnny Mnemonic could have been a movie written by Doug Benson if he were asked to write a movie about hacking and neither he nor the studio had any idea what that was.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I know they mentioned wanting to do The Net sometime soon but I can't remember that being too crazy outside of a couple moments. If anything I thought they would do Johnny Mnemonic since that is so batshit insane in its portrayal of cyberpunk and hacking.

In "The Net", I think computers were treated like they could do evvvvvvvverything. In "Hackers", you had a lot of that as well, which is shown a bit, but they waste it so much on petty bullshit, like the sprinkler thing and overriding a robot ex-con that's trying to get its life back together by working overnights at the least-watched UPN affiliate ever. In "The Net", they're trying to convince us that Sandra Bullock is some weirdo anti-social shut-in that lives on her computer, which is only slightly less believable than accepting that Dennis Miller would be someone's love interest in a major motion picture. If I remember correctly, I think this movie was essentially "Eagle Eye" more than a decade before that rolled around, and anything that didn't make sense, like Miller being given the wrong medication and conveniently having a seizure or something at the exact worst time, or the fact that EVERYONE seemed to be in on the conspiracy of the film was just chalked up to "Because computers, guys. Because computers". And cocaine. Probably cocaine.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

 

Thinking on it, Johnny Mnemonic could have been a movie written by Doug Benson if he were asked to write a movie about hacking and neither he nor the studio had any idea what that was.

1995 was truly a glorious time for cyber-thrillers that didn't quite have the right idea, with that, "Hackers", and "The Net" making up the Triple Crown of ineptness.

[RyanSz 3140]

I thought Miller was her brother in The Net, or maybe I'm just remembering wrong. I do remember that the villain hacked in and changed it so he would be given a medication that he was deathly allergic to. Eagle Eye at least seemed a little bit more plausible to me as everything of importance is connected to some form of electronic output or cloud or server and with everything that can be spied upon made it seem like it could happen. I forgot that Hackers was set in present time which makes everything that they were doing seem that much more ridiculous.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

The mission of BB8 is to appeal to South American and European audiences while also trying once again to get American audiences to give a shit about soccer. Like Pele and David Beckham before him, he will fail, but we'll still find that charming little soccer ball droid to be one sexy motherfucker.