Episode 115 — Improving Brett's House with DC Pierson

[Jakal 4475]

Make sure to get a drm chip for that keurig Steve, nothing tasted better than pirated coffee.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Hey Popcorn Gallery, Sean is back from his time away and he brought back Steve Little from Eastbound & Down and The Grinder.

 

He will answer all of your questions. All of them.

[SteveH 11126]

I can't abide a keurig for a family, I just can't. Shaking my damn head. With all the stress of family life don't you deserve a nice cup of coffee? When I was first divorced and facing the sad reality that I was now the only person in the household drinking coffee I made the decision that a Keurig made good economical sense. Surely having a single pod before I went to work would be easier than dealing with brewing a partial pot or even worse WASTING coffee. Let me tell you what, Steve. I suffered through every cup. I had spent like $100 on that thing and I tried to convince myself that it was good. My life wasn't sad. Well let me tell you another thing, Steve. I have a really nice Mr. Coffee and also a Bodum pour over and I grind my own beans from time to time and LIFE IS GOOD. I have another adult in this house who is helping me drink this coffee and it is honestly HEAVEN ON EARTH.

 

OH SHIT

 

STEVE

 

DID YOUR WIFE LEAVE YOU?

 

My decision to purchase a Keurig was not an easy one. I held out for a long time for reasons of coffee snobbery. I grind my own beans and make coffee in a french press. I like a nice cup of coffee.

 

I just can't do it anymore. You have to wait for the water to boil - but not even boil, because it shouldn't be boiling. you're supposed to boil and then wait like 30 seconds. but what if I get distracted and forget about it? is the water too cold now? Maybe I fell asleep standing up with my eyes open because I have to wake up at 5:30 in the G-d morning even though I don't have to be at work until 8:30 and I'm still late half the time. How long has the water been not boiling for? SHOULD I START OVER?

 

then I have to grind the beans. The coffee grinder is so f-ing loud it wakes my damn kid up half the time which really screws up my entire morning. The whole reason I get up at 5:30 is so that hopefully he'll sleep until 6:30 so I have an hour to get ready in peace before he gets up and starts demanding all kinds of crazy things for breakfast that we don't have and changing his mind about what TV show he wants to watch every 5 minutes and having tantrums about everything and not wanting to get dressed or put his shoes on. BUT I HAVE TO GRIND THE COFFEE IN THE MORNING RIGHT? otherwise, it's not freshly ground coffee anymore, is it? Might as well buy the pre-ground shit.

 

Then you gotta pour the water in there and stir it around for 10 seconds or whatever. THen i have to SET A TIMER ON MY PHONE. for 6 minutes. I used to do it for 3-4 minutes because that's what I read, but then I read somewhere else that you should do it for 7 to 8. THOSE ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT AMOUNTS OF TIME. which one is right? Why do I have to do all this research just to make 2 cups of coffee? I just chose 6 because it's in the middle but for all I know that could be the worst possible amount of time to let your coffee brew.

 

Then you push down the dumb plunger thing and pour the coffee into a dumb thermos carafe thingy because you can't just leave it in the french press for too long because it gets bitter. And then sometimes you get grounds in your coffee, like I did today, which was the last straw.

 

Then I forget to clean out the french press thing in the morning, so I get home from work at 6 pm and have to wash that damn thing.

 

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I JUST WANT A CUP OF COFFEE. Pretty soon I'm gonna have an infant crying and puking on everything in addition to the maniac toddler and I can't be playing barista anymore. This is the sad truth. this is what happens.

[lizzy 1946]

I drive a Nissan Rogue, which is a nice family car but at the same time has a little bit of edge and lets everyone know that you could go rogue at any minute.

My D also drives a Rogue and he confirms that he likes reminding people that he could go rogue with no notice. He's retiring in 3 weeks, so watch out, world! #roguery

[lizzy 1946]

Hey Popcorn Gallery, Sean is back from his time away and he brought back Steve Little from Eastbound & Down and The Grinder.

 

He will answer all of your questions. All of them.

Steve Little, how do you make (and take) your coffee?

[Houston 4819]

I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I JUST WANT A CUP OF COFFEE. Pretty soon I'm gonna have an infant crying and puking on everything in addition to the maniac toddler and I can't be playing barista anymore. This is the sad truth. this is what happens.

 

SteveH, I can't tell you what to do with your life and impending baby, but it sounds like you really should've thought more about coffee before you and the wife got pregnant again. Congrats on the kid, but sorry about the coffee.

[Shrek & Donkey Kong 4336]

The K-Cup machine actually is underrated by coffee-heads, if you really know your way around the machine, you can make yourself a nice cup.

 

What you do is purchase a 24 pack of PACIFIC BOLD k-cups. Then what you're gonna do is throw them, along with your K-Cup machine into the garbage and buy yourself a pound of good beans, a grinder, some filters, and a pour-over.

[kobthatreal 5896]

Hey Popcorn Gallery, Sean is back from his time away and he brought back Steve Little from Eastbound & Down and The Grinder.

 

He will answer all of your questions. All of them.

 

Never fails. Love you octer, even if ur not a real octer.

[apocowarg 2696]

I buy my coffee out of a vending machine at work like a real American. It tastes like sewage and every day I want to cry.

[Game of Scones 5812]

I don't drink coffee. I'm also miserably tired two or three days a week.

[Joe Lerini 7329]

My D also drives a Rogue and he confirms that he likes reminding people that he could go rogue with no notice. He's retiring in 3 weeks, so watch out, world! #roguery

Oh no. The cops in movies or parodies of movies are always so close to retirement right when the drug dealer blows them up or whatever.

 

Praying for your D!

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Hey Popcorn Gallery, Sean is back from his time away and he brought back Steve Little from Eastbound & Down and The Grinder.

 

He will answer all of your questions. All of them.

Now, The Grinder, what is that? Is it a show about coffee?

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Now, The Grinder, what is that? Is it a show about coffee?

 

A+ coffee joke, Joe Schmo Lerini

[souprman 10477]

so there's like a thousand crows outside everyone's house right now right?

 

[mwn 5470]

of course. duh. we're all always surrounded by crows. that's daily life here in crowworld. I don't see the problem

[piemanpie24 1119]

Hey Popcorn Gallery, Sean is back from his time away and he brought back Steve Little from Eastbound & Down and The Grinder.

 

He will answer all of your questions. All of them.

Steve Little, how much trouble would I be in if I made a show called Westbound & Upward? Because, if it's more than a little trouble I can't do it. Also, follow up question; what should Westbound and Upward be about?

[souprman 10477]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9HBtrN7qRI&feature=youtu.be

[greggy 15909]

the crows keep trying to fly into my bathroom vent fan, its a little disconcerting but what we all signed up for when we decided to colonize croworld.

 

the big one has my voice now

[chanson 9697]

I'm really beginning to regret signing up to colonize Croworld. No one told me there would be SO MANY GODDAM CROWS! I thought it was just a name, you know? Like Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan or Joe Batt's Arm, Newfoundland... Boy, was I wrong! FUCK YOU CROWS! FUCK YOU!

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Was this episode good?

[mwn 5470]

this is what separates chanson from the men and the boys: there's a town in Newfoundland famously named Dildo and that would be an easy punchline. but no! he is a man with integrity! once you roll with Joe Batt you have sworn allegiance to his arm for life

[souprman 10477]

yes. it was fucking great. i listened to it three times.

 

edit>in reply to JP.

 

edit2>wtf does that have to do with Croworld anyway?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Was this episode good?

Episode of what? What are you even talking about?

 

If you don't have anything to contribute about Croworld, don't just post nonsense please.

[AshleyChupp 3958]

I read a comprehensive and encyclopedic oral history of Weird Twitter and now I can't stop #trolling #brands pls send help lmao @earwolf all ur podcasts are actually bees and scutt angkorwat wears diapers (i don't know whats happening i'm serious help me)

[greggy 15909]

uhoh ashley caught the crow madness, hide her before the magistrate sees or it will be the end to us all