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JulyDiaz

Episode 126.5 - Minisode 126.5

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As a non-American all I know about Oklahoma is it is where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.

 

Also, it's an odd shape.

 

I just hope Fister takes the time to take his best gal out in his surrey. Preferably on a beautiful morning with tons of ducks and geese around.

 

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When it comes down to Star Wars hunks, there can only be one.

 

lose the zero and get with the hero.

 

 

2uxv7g6.jpg

Mind you he's no Alan Thicke, Christopher Atkins! now that's a name I have not heard in a long time.

 

 

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No, in terms of the Hot Guys of the Star Wars (movie) Universe, the winner is, hands down, Han Solo followed closely by Poe Dameron.

 

The correct order is:

 

1) Han Solo

2) Poe Dameron

3) Finn

4) Lando Calrissian

5) Young Obi-Wan Kenobi

6) Wedge Antilles

7) Luke Skywalker

8) Old Obi-Wan Kenobi

9) Chewbacca

10) Kylo Ren

11) Anakin Skywalker--Sebastian Shaw and Hayden Christensen (tie)

 

And the top ten hottest women in Star Wars movies are

 

1) Amidala

2) Rey

3) Leia

um... oh... wait..

4) Oola (Jabba's slave dancer)

5) ... umm.... Oh! Mon Mothma

6)...I guess Aunt Beru

..

...

Are there even 10?

7) Sy Snootles?

8) Captain Phasma...

 

Boy, the movies sure need some more roles for women....

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I just hope Fister takes the time to take his best gal out in his surrey. Preferably on a beautiful morning with tons of ducks and geese around.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ss1CXo8QMi8

The best part of that is at some point you actually do see some ducks getting out of the way of his surrey.

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The best part of that is at some point you actually do see some ducks getting out of the way of his surrey.

 

Fuck yeah, they better get out of the way! The man's goin' a-courtin'. He's got no time to slow down or swerve. How else is he supposed to woo her?

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And the top ten hottest women in Star Wars movies are

 

1) Amidala

2) Rey

3) Leia

um... oh... wait..

4) Oola (Jabba's slave dancer)

5) ... umm.... Oh! Mon Mothma

6)...I guess Aunt Beru

..

...

Are there even 10?

7) Sy Snootles?

8) Captain Phasma...

 

Boy, the movies sure need some more roles for women....

Anakin's mom, Shmi Skywalker?

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And the top ten hottest women in Star Wars movies are

 

1) Amidala

2) Rey

3) Leia

um... oh... wait..

4) Oola (Jabba's slave dancer)

5) ... umm.... Oh! Mon Mothma

6)...I guess Aunt Beru

..

...

Are there even 10?

7) Sy Snootles?

8) Captain Phasma...

 

Boy, the movies sure need some more roles for women....

 

Um...Hello? You're just being shallow.

 

Jira.png

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Anakin's mom, Shmi Skywalker?

I kinda blanked on the prequels. There are also Padme's hand maidens some female Jedis in the prequels as well. I mean shame on me for forgetting Yaddle.

 

yaddle.jpg

 

That's number one right there.

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And the top ten hottest women in Star Wars movies are

 

1) Amidala

2) Rey

3) Leia

um... oh... wait..

4) Oola (Jabba's slave dancer)

5) ... umm.... Oh! Mon Mothma

6)...I guess Aunt Beru

..

...

Are there even 10?

7) Sy Snootles?

8) Captain Phasma...

 

Boy, the movies sure need some more roles for women....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV7zpIPMlAI

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I kinda blanked on the prequels. There are also Padme's hand maidens some female Jedis in the prequels as well. I mean shame on me for forgetting Yaddle.

 

yaddle.jpg

 

That's number one right there.

 

I don't know...

 

No disrespect to Yaddle, who i'm sure is just lovely, but she's got this whole "Kim Davis" thing going that just doesn't do it for me.

 

kim-davis-marshalls.jpg?resize=620%2C264

 

ETA: I'm actually debating with myself if I went too far with this post. I am seriously feeling like I might have been too harsh on Yaddle. So to clarify: the withered, green alien monster is beautiful in every way, and I would be lucky to have her in my life. The second image is of a piece of shit.

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I don't know...

 

No disrespect to Yaddle, who i'm sure is just lovely, but she's got this whole "Kim Davis" thing going that just doesn't do it for me.

 

kim-davis-marshalls.jpg?resize=620%2C264

What are you talking about, you know Kim Davis has that whole "sexy, crazy cat lady" look going for her.

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And the top ten hottest women in Star Wars movies are

 

1) Amidala

2) Rey

3) Leia

um... oh... wait..

4) Oola (Jabba's slave dancer)

5) ... umm.... Oh! Mon Mothma

6)...I guess Aunt Beru

..

...

Are there even 10?

7) Sy Snootles?

8) Captain Phasma...

 

Boy, the movies sure need some more roles for women....

Don't forget:

 

Zam Wessell (bounty hunter from Attack of the Clones)

Aurra Sing (bounty hunter in TPM)

Aayla Secura (Jedi General killed in Revenge of the Sith)

Toryn Farr (rando at Hoth base in Empire)

Lieutenant Connix (at Resistance base in TFA and played by Carrie Fisher's daughter, Billie Lourd)

Barriss Offee (at fight on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones)

Shmi Skywalker

 

Except for, like, Amidala (really? first?), Rey, and Leia, I'd be interested to see what the cumulative screen time of all these other female characters is. I'm going to guess 12 minutes, and that 80% of that is Shmi Skywalker.

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7) Sy Snootles?

 

I am pretty sure that Lando seduced his way into Jabba's palace via Sy

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Except for, like, Amidala (really? first?), Rey, and Leia, I'd be interested to see what the cumulative screen time of all these other female characters is. I'm going to guess 12 minutes, and that 80% of that is Shmi Skywalker.

Well, here's a compilation of all of the non-Leia female dialog from the original trilogy. 12 minutes of total screen time among Episodes I-VI might be generous.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODgwL7DJ9dY

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What about Ackmena

Ackmena1.jpg

 

 

What about Mala?

 

Malla.jpg

 

Who's being "human-centric" now, Lando???

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Well, here's a compilation of all of the non-Leia female dialog from the original trilogy. 12 minutes of total screen time among Episodes I-VI might be generous.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODgwL7DJ9dY

 

What's funny is that if the holiday special counted, Ackmena's song and Mala's wookie noises would eclipse this 84 seconds 10x over.

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Well, here's a compilation of all of the non-Leia female dialog from the original trilogy. 12 minutes of total screen time among Episodes I-VI might be generous.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODgwL7DJ9dY

Well, Shmi was in the dinner scene with Jar Jar, which basically feels like an eternity, and I was estimating based off everything else taking, like, two and a half minutes.

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During the BB8 or R2D2 question, I was really hoping that Paul would pick R2 because, frankly, we don't really know BB8's mission is yet ;)

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Well, here's a compilation of all of the non-Leia female dialog from the original trilogy. 12 minutes of total screen time among Episodes I-VI might be generous.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODgwL7DJ9dY

That's funny considering all of the flack the Entourage movie got this year for its lack of non-main cast female characters and that the same applied to the series, especially considering Nerdist, Hardwick in particular, was one of the biggest complainers about that lack of diversity. I knew it was bad in Star Wars, but I didn't realize it was that bad.

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What about Ackmena

Ackmena1.jpg

 

 

What about Mala?

 

Malla.jpg

 

Who's being "human-centric" now, Lando???

 

Noncanonical, so couldn't include them sorry.

 

Don't forget:

 

Zam Wessell (bounty hunter from Attack of the Clones)

Aurra Sing (bounty hunter in TPM)

Aayla Secura (Jedi General killed in Revenge of the Sith)

Toryn Farr (rando at Hoth base in Empire)

Lieutenant Connix (at Resistance base in TFA and played by Carrie Fisher's daughter, Billie Lourd)

Barriss Offee (at fight on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones)

Shmi Skywalker

 

Except for, like, Amidala (really? first?), Rey, and Leia, I'd be interested to see what the cumulative screen time of all these other female characters is. I'm going to guess 12 minutes, and that 80% of that is Shmi Skywalker.

If we are being shallow and going on looks alone then Amidala first for sure. If we want to take in the whole package personality affecting hotness, then I think that would have an inverse effect and drop her down a lot. Also, obviously, the list was not meant in seriousness.

 

Based on your list and thinking on it there are like ten times more female character (humanoid anyways) in the prequels than in the original trilogy. This makes me wonder if George Lucas took the criticism of there not being enough female roles in the original films to heart and decided to put more into the prequels. It's just a shame aside from Shmi and Amidala that he didn't think to actual make any of them major characters or even give them lines. In the films anyway, I know that in the expanded universe and TV series they become actual characters.

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God, how I wish they had gotten Lexi Alexander for that piece. She's my favorite when it comes to stuff like that because she is 100% out of fucks to give (and her appearance in the Punisher: War Zone ep is easily in my top 10 HDTGM eps).

 

On a related note, did you guys hear how Hasbro finally caved and put Rey in the Star Wars Monopoly because I guess they finally realized that "it would have been a spoiler to put her in it" was a shit excuse.

Especially when they released this toy several weeks before the movie came out:

 

rey-the-force-awakens-hasbro.jpg

 

 

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