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JulyDiaz

Episode 127 - Kazaam: LIVE!

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can we have a Shaq off, see who can find the worst Shaq endorsed products.

I'll start with this..

 

I'll continue with this...

 

10693325_852689348089369_1520426397_n.jpg

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but there can only be one Mr big....

 

 

When I pulled this image I saw "product of Canada" and that it was a "Neilson's" brand that I had never heard of I assume that they were trying to break into the US with a Shaq endorsement. I am only aware of the Mr. Big Bar and Shaq's endorsement because I remember seeing them (and buying) in a store where I grew up in MA. It's definitely a weird place to try to use Shaq's name since he was never on the Celtics, but the store was called Benny's and they always had a lot of weird brands (probably because they were cheap)

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When I pulled this image I saw "product of Canada" and that it was a "Neilson's" brand that I had never heard of I assume that they were trying to break into the US with a Shaq endorsement. I am only aware of the Mr. Big Bar and Shaq's endorsement because I remember seeing them (and buying) in a store where I grew up in MA. It's definitely a weird place to try to use Shaq's name since he was never on the Celtics, but the store was called Benny's and they always had a lot of weird brands (probably because they were cheap)

 

chocolotta09-300.jpg

Because Canada is part of the British commonwealth we get more British style candy bars then American if we get any of it at all.

 

like Mars bars. Aero, Cadbury Crunchie, a british style mars bars are more chocolate then suger and less milk and cream. like Hersey is less real chocolate and more suger and cream added to thin out the cost of making the bar. lot of shops now import British style candy to the states and Canada. that is the first thing you will notice when you come to canada. right at the airport. candy and chips are different. pops and soda are the same, the same.

 

stay away from this stuff, this for tourists.

I don't think anyone really eats this shit.

softmaplesugar.jpg

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Ohh never mind..

 

mr-big-deal-packaging.jpg

 

can we have a Shaq off, see who can find the worst Shaq endorsed products.

I'll start with this..

 

shaquille_oneal_bottle.jpg

 

 

as talked about on first link, watch the editing.

he sure got into that car fast.

 

Sports illustrated has a list of 50 of the top Shaq endorsements it's mind blowingly crazy

Has Shaq ever campaigned for anyone running for public office? If so, I guess you could call that a pretty bad endorsement.

 

*crickets*

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Um. Asked a question then figured out the answer myself, but somehow can't figure out how to delete this post altogether! So.

 

We genie!

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I didn't understand what the dad's second chance was supposed to be. When Max initially made that wish, his biological father was alive and well. That makes me believe Max was wishing his debts would be forgiven and he wouldn't be apprehended by the police. The wish doesn't end up being granted until much later, when the father's life is in danger. So his second chance ends up being that he escaped the fire rather than actually getting a fresh start. He tells Max that he has to pay people back and the cops show up to take him away. To continue to associate with the criminals he's indebted to, he is just going to fall right back into that lifestyle, not to mention the Aryan Brotherhood connections he's going to make while in prison. I'm not saying that he's racist, it's just a matter of survival.

 

Also, didn't hear this mentioned in the podcast or in the comments, but there is a very adult joke that must have flown right over my head when I watched this as a child at my school acquaintance's (not a friend, sorry Jeffrey) birthday party. The second time we see Max's biological father, he's introducing Da Brat to his bodyguard and she points how small the dude is. He says "I don't need much protection." and Da Brat does a Face Waterfallon him and says "Oh, we'll see about that." No other dialog or activity in the movie even comes close to that level of maturity.

 

I've started a petition on Change.org for HDTGM to do the movie Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. Please support this.

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I've started a petition on Change.org for HDTGM to do the movie Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. Please support this.

Only if Dave Foley and/or PFT comes on for it.

 

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I didn't understand what the dad's second chance was supposed to be. When Max initially made that wish, his biological father was alive and well.

 

This just gave me a revelation that this film might be more autobiographical to Shaq than we realize. Hear me out, Shaq's father dipped when he was really young and he was raised by a step-father who stepped up to provide a positive role model for Shaq. It's all detailed in his rap "Biological Didn't Bother"

 

Yo, yo, I want to dedicated this song to Philip Arthur Harrison

Word up, 'cause he was the one who took me from a boy to a man

So as far as I'm concerned, he's my father

'Cause my biological didn't bother

 

Biological father, left me in the cold, when a few months old

Aa father's child was greater than gold but I guess not

You brought me into the world but you're not my dad

Mess around with those drugs makes my moms mad

 

So we left you with no remorsal pity, took the first bus

From York to Jersey City, women and child alone

Noww that's pressure, mom's got to go to work, drop me off

By Obesa momma, aunt DeDe, whoever aunt Falma, uncle Roy

We stuck together, a year went by and I could walk y'all

 

Moms got that good ol' job at city hall

She probably didn't trust men anymore

Until Philip Harrison walk though the door

Went out a few times but what about Shaquille

Mom's offered him a million dollar package deal

She said, "You want me, you gotta take my son"

 

Or else it's like a hot dog but without the bun

Guess what he accepted, responsibility he never left it

He kept it, he kept it he took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father, 'cause my biological didn't bother

 

He took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

He took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

 

He took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

He took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

 

January fifth, Phil made a promise, what's that?

He joined the army, we moved to Fort Mamth

He disciplined me right from the get go

Age two bottle and my mom shaquille let go

Actin' spoiled, rotten, trippin'

 

Got a butt whippin' because I didn't listen

Back then you see privates made no bucks

Had to get another job driven trucks

Workin' hard as hell didn't satisfy him

Had to another job working at the gym

 

He wasn't gone with the wind like Clark Gable

Work all them jobs to put food on the table

Phil's my father, daddy and that's the scoop

Can I go to the gym with you and shoot some hoops

Come on he, put me under his wing

 

Was the ball boy for his little Arthur team

Sometimes he even made me mad but it didn't matter

'Cause I still wanted to be like dad but a little bit better

Encouraged me to stay in school and to get then good letters

I wasn't a brainiac but I tried hard

 

Got to watch the knicks, play if I had a good report card

All types, all sorts, disobeyed my dad and I couldn't play sports

I learned to dribble from right to left, I couldn't do a damn thang

With all them F's, age fifteen father and son confrontation

 

That's nothin' but father and son trials and tribulation

Back then I could understand but I'm glad you did it

'Cause now I'm a man, he took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

 

He took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

 

Look at me now successful for sure

Phil raised me well to be an entrepeneur

And if your making big dope be materialistic

'Cause you'll end up another statistic

Everything's going well following my dreams

 

I dunked on Patrick Ewing, I won the ring like Hakeem

Oh, what do you know? Biological one's on the Ricky Lake show

What does he want, does he want money? What people do for money

It's kinda funny to me, he ain't gettin' no check from me, check it

 

He can go on all the talk shows he want phil is my dad

So don't even front, he took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

 

He took me from a boy to a man

So Phil is my father 'cause my biological didn't bother

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While he had a rap career, I don't think I'm alone in not wanting to see Shaq in a remake of 8-Mile.

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When Shaq shows up for the impromptu Flying French Toast breakfast, he introduces himself to Max's mom as "Jefferson Allensworth Lamb: Jefferson for he who founded our fine constitution, Allensworth for he who founded a community of free blacks, and Lamb, because I like to eat lamb chops."

 

What the fuck? This is basically saying "Hi, I'm a giant stranger that just made up his first, middle and last name. PS I showered in your son's bedroom." Far too trusting, Max's mom!

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When Shaq shows up for the impromptu Flying French Toast breakfast, he introduces himself to Max's mom as "Jefferson Allensworth Lamb: Jefferson for he who founded our fine constitution, Allensworth for he who founded a community of free blacks, and Lamb, because I like to eat lamb chops."

 

What the fuck? This is basically saying "Hi, I'm a giant stranger that just made up his first, middle and last name. PS I showered in your son's bedroom." Far too trusting, Max's mom!

If we were to believe him, wouldn't it still be pretty unbelievable that his LAST name seems to be something that he picked that he clearly wasn't born with?

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If we were to believe him, wouldn't it still be pretty unbelievable that his LAST name seems to be something that he picked that he clearly wasn't born with?

Yeah if he left out the last name part it could've been actually believable. I've seen people talk way too much about who they were named after like anyone gives a shit.

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Why? Shouldn't he be afraid and scared of him by this point?

 

Agreed. This guy is pretty much a watered-down version of Crisp from Kindergarten Cop. Max should be terrified of his dad.

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While he had a rap career, I don't think I'm alone in not wanting to see Shaq in a remake of 8-Mile.

 

It already exists and is called Kazaam.

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There is a novelization movie tie-in of Kazaam in paperback. It's currently on Amazon for 1 cent used ($2.37 new or $9.00 for a "collectible" version). Its official description is "A high adventure tale of super-fun magic, wonder, and mystery." I know you don't read Amazon reviews of the book adaptations of the films, but there are only 2 reviews and the only 5 star review describes how the reviewer's ex-husband recommended the book for her book club. She thought the book club would save her marriage; it didn't, and he still attends it. She suspects he recommended it as a joke to get back at her, but she loved the book. She didn't know who Shaq was before reading it, but says "if my ex-husband had been 1/1000 of the man Mr. O'Neal is I wouldn't have left him."

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Did anyone see in the title credits that Shaq was one of the executive producers. Did he read the script or was he just really excited to be in a movie? Personally I liked him more in Jackass.

 

I know everyone has seen Napoleon Dynamite, well if you noticed when the main kid was getting beat up by the some bullies in the bathroom. One of them stands out more, yes you know know and love him, Pedro.

Efren Ramirez is one of the bullies. Great way to start your career.

 

 

 

-Kevin R

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I think I need to watch Jacob's Ladder because it is a delight that it has been referenced in the last 2 episodes. Jason's love of this movie is so palpable.

 

Great episode. And I'm so glad that when the audience member asked about replacing Shaq with another 90s basketball star, Jason said Larry Bird. Because my first thought was of Nick Kroll's Larry Bird, which is what they should use to remake this movie.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=b5kaRbokoo8

This was all I could think about for the rest of the episode.

 

Also in the podcast it is theorized that Shaq likes kids. He is invested in education at very least. He earned his Educational Doctorate (Ed.D) in Human Resource Development in 2012. We could be taking classes from Professor Dr. Shaq if he gets bored doing his Gold Bond and Buick commercials.

I want to take a class taught by Shaq. I would pepper in lines from his movies and raps in my class answers and my papers. Just dead serious. Also I'm 5'2'' and am used to looking up at an angle to talk to people so speaking to him after class wouldn't be an issue.

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I can in fact confirm they did make a Shaq height comparison thing you could stand against to measure your own height. It also had an outline of his shoe size that you could compare as well. Wish I had a picture!

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The best Shaq endorsement is his endorsement of Chris Christie's gubernatorial re-election campaign in 2013:

 

 

"Excuse me. He's a great man."

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