EPISODE 120 — Brandon Gardner, Our Close Friend

[Jakal 4475]

When you are standing on your crushes front lawn with a boom box over your head, trying to get her attention so you can confess your love to her, what song should you play.

[chicknsandwich 2495]

Guest,

 

Me and my fiance were thinking about having a trash boat wedding. Any thoughts on romantic catering/decor?

[thejjar 5031]

How come everytime I try to kiss someone sitting on the table like in 16 candles I'm told, "Sir, Fuddruckers is not that kind of establishment" Double standards right?

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Guest,

 

In my experience, people are generally pretty easy to manipulate into love. Has anyone told you you look great today? Call me. 412-849-8532.

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

Why are dudes so fucking weird?

Ur weird

[SteveH 11126]

Hi guest-

My son made a valentine for my wife out of pink and red construction paper at daycare. How am I supposed to compete with that?

[Lord Shitqueef 1609]

Guest,

 

How can I boost my charisma stats IRL?

[apocowarg 2696]

#notallThunderCock69s

[RanRan 3242]

Hi guest. Hope you're having a great day. Is it a good or a bad idea fuck a homeless man? He is cute.

[Houston 4819]

Guest,

 

I am a big fan of the Love Actually and I plan on doing the "To Me, You're Perfect" scene for my special someone. What font size is recommended if they'll have to read it from 100+ yards away?

[apocowarg 2696]

Hi guest. Hope you're having a great day. Is it a good or a bad idea fuck a homeless man? He is cute.

 

That dick could have a home.

[Game of Scones 5812]

I cant afford a two bath apartment right now and it is looking like my partner wants to move in with me. I know it is somewhat immature to worry about bathroom issues but i suppose i really cant overcome my primal faults.

 

How can i convince her to try anal?

[Game of Scones 5812]

I cant afford a two bath apartment right now and it is looking like my partner wants to move in with me. I know it is somewhat immature to worry about bathroom issues but i suppose i really cant overcome my primal faults.

 

How can i convince her to try anal?

 

Joke post. Im single and i think butts are gross.

[robotam 4493]

I'm young and single. But am I ready to mingle!?

[SteveH 11126]

I believe it's important to maintain an air of mystery in a marriage, which is why my wife doesn't have my cell phone number. She is threatening divorce, but I'm just trying to keep things spicy. Will you weigh in?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I don't have erections very often, but when I do they always last for exactly 3 hours and 59 minutes. So I'll probably be fine, right?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

Like any rational, science-minded individual, I fully accept that love-feelings are just a certain combination of chemicals and electricity in the brain. Do you know exactly which chemicals and how much electricity? So far everything I've tried has actually made my cat hate me MORE.

[Game of Scones 5812]

If they dont use one of mine i hope they go with one of Steve Hs questions. They've been good today and we all know he cant maintain that consistency going forward.

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

Guest,

 

I've heard people say "It's not the size of it but what you do with it that matters" but what if it's small and you slap people in the face with it and it doesn't make that satisfying "THWUNK" sound?

 

Then surely the size does matter.

 

 

 

 

*

I'm not talking about myself. Mine is HUGE. I swear. My friends have told me that saying. And I have loads of friends. REAL FRIENDS. Not forum bullshit. Also I think I'm overusing Spoiler Tags

 

[SteveH 11126]

my wife and I often argue about household chores. I say I do the majority of things around the house. She says she's "7 months pregnant". Who's right?

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

So there's this girl I like, and her birthday's next week, do I send her a happy birthday wish with an x at the end of it, a happy birthday wish with a smiley face at the end of it, or a picture of my penis?

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

I agree with Norm, really solid stuff from Steve today

[nohorseman 5423]

I asked this girl if I could mention her in one of my songs but now she says she didn't know I was going to call her the b-word. How should I handle this?

[nohorseman 5423]

Hi Guest,

 

Happy Valentine's Day! How do I get my girlfriend to peg me?

 

Yours, nohorseman

[Lord Shitqueef 1609]

?