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EPISODE 121 — Maria Thayer, Our Close Friend

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Ok everyone, we need to help Staz out by mercilessly berating her for several days so she can win some pity/attention from Sean. It's the least we can do after we did it for that dork Montgomery!

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hey, you're all being pretty sexism by assuming that Montgomery is a man.

 

#montgomoreyisawoman #banskyisawoman #banskyismontgomery?????

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hey, you're all being pretty sexism by assuming that Montgomery is a man.

 

#montgomoreyisawoman #banskyisawoman #banskyismontgomery?????

I never stopped to consider Montgomery might be a womantgomery.

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I figured Montgomery was gender neutral like the rest of us.

 

Also I would be mean to Anastasia but i have this new kill 'em with kindness policy.

 

I think she's pretty cool for someone who doesn't get it.

 

See?

 

The other thing is Anastasia Vigo is like the hardest name in the world to make puns out of.

 

I am offering 10 BILLION DOLLARS to the person who can create the best pun on Anastasia Vigo.

 

 

LET THE GREAT ANASTASIA VIGO PUN-NAME CHALLENGE OF 2016 BEGIN!!!

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I clearly spoke of Montgomery in a gender neutral way, as it would be unfair to assume ze is cisgender until we receive confirmation. Maybe we all should state which pronouns we prefer.

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Staz-out

oops! looks like Spunky already did it.

 

Spunky I'll be in touch for the wire transfer.

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I went to Safeway tonight and NOT ALBERTSONS!

 

YOU HEAR THAT YOU CROOKS?! FUCK ALBERTSONS!

 

I know Albertsons and Safeway are the same company now, thank you.

 

Moral of the story, Fred Meyer should be open 24 hours so I don't have to drive all the way to Graham to get groceries at 1 in the morning when I do my shopping! FUCKING GRAHAM! You believe this shit? People in Gig Harbor don't have to drive all the way to fucking Graham... Just because they're fancier than us? Yeah, that's definitely why. Unbelievable... CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS NEIGHBORHOOD GETS GENTRIFIED. Then I'll have so many grocery stores open 24 hours I won't even know which one to pick, just like those assholes in Gig Harbor.

 

FUCK

 

(written under the influence of a lot of Coke Zero)

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Why don't you go to QFC like a civilized person?

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Why don't you go to QFC like a civilized person?

 

BECAUSE THE ONE NEAR ME ISNT OPEN 24 HOURS AND ITS SO SHITTY IT DOESNT EVEN DESERVE TO BE CALLED A QFC ITS AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!

 

My only hope is that they bulldoze my annoying neighbors' houses and build a Metropolitan Market there, but I don't think that their target demographic is Samoan people and retired blue-collar Lutherans, so I don't think it's gonna happen.

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I'm so sorry Chanson. That's terrible, I didn't know. Please forgive me.

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I'm so sorry Chanson. That's terrible, I didn't know. Please forgive me.

 

It's okay, Samoans are cool, it's the retired blue-collar Lutherans that piss me off... HOW IS EVERYONE HERE A LUTHERAN? AND WHY DO THEY TELL YOU THEY'RE LUTHERAN WHEN THEY SEE YOU WALKING YOUR DOG DOWN THE STREET? THIS IS A CRAZY WEIRD PLACE!

 

It's like having a neighborhood full of poorly educated Garrison Keillors.

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a neighborhood full of poorly educated Garrison Keillors.

I live in a neighborhood like that too. It's called Minnesota.

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Great ep by Hayes. He's a really stand-up guy. Every week I think he can't get any better and every week he exceeds my expectations. He really doesn't get enough credit. I'm serious, that guy is the real dealio. Maria was a very smart, funny, cool, nice guest. Hayes' co-host seemed to really be putting in the effort this week and the result was a multitude of hearty laughs by yours truly. Great job guys. Love You Bye.

 

hmm... now I'm out on this guy

 

I figured Montgomery was gender neutral like the rest of us.

 

Also I would be mean to Anastasia but i have this new kill 'em with kindness policy.

 

I think she's pretty cool for someone who doesn't get it.

 

See?

 

The other thing is Anastasia Vigo is like the hardest name in the world to make puns out of.

 

I am offering 10 BILLION DOLLARS to the person who can create the best pun on Anastasia Vigo.

 

 

LET THE GREAT ANASTASIA VIGO PUN-NAME CHALLENGE OF 2016 BEGIN!!!

 

killing them with kindness? I wonder where you got that idea, soup

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Also, no matter how fast I circle around the line cook he is always facing away from me.

 

Warghoul. Have you tried the triple deke? That should fix it.

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I would try that but the floor in the kitchen is always covered in a thin layer of brownish-red liquid and I can't afford to get hurt. The hostess whispered through a hole in my office wall that anyone who is injured on the job gets sent to the "sinew factory". Speaking of, does anyone have any tips on how to coax a hostess out of the walls? I really don't have time to seat people with everything else that is going on.

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Speaking of, does anyone have any tips on how to coax a hostess out of the walls?

 

I've seen this before. You have to send more hostesses into the wall.

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Speaking of, does anyone have any tips on how to coax a hostess out of the walls? I really don't have time to seat people with everything else that is going on.

 

If you are dealing with a flair era hostess, a strong magnet and a bean bag should work. the beanbag breaks the fall. if it's post flair era hostess, have you tried the triple deke? It's remarkable what it can accomplish.

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Are we sharing our art projects? I did this cool subversive art-as-a-living-being project a while ago that keeps surprising and impressing me. It's a historical list of actual internet speeds I get at my house, so that I can call Comcast out on it if it starts to be problematic. Some fun stuff you can do is see what the slowest speed is, or see what my internet speed was at an important time in your life. Anyway, check it out at this link! http://timsvlog.org/speeds.html

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Hey guess what

What?

Great episode of Hollywood Handbook this week, I thoroughly enjoyed it

Omg ikr

Mmmmm yes

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I've seen this before. You have to send more hostesses into the wall.

 

I sent them all in there and sealed up the entrance. Then I told them through the hole in the wall that only the strongest one can come back out. I think I am getting the hang of this job.

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