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Starcrash (1979)

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@Joven:

 

huh, I know I used the search function today before posting (that's why I didn't make a new Meet the feebles post), I swear nothing showed up. Disappointing, I expect another thread merge, which I don't really like. Meh.

 

As for the robot part, I could swear he's a robot or an android. Will have to rewatch the whole thing to be sure though, can't remember where that would come up. I might as well, I wrote earlier that he dies without reason, but the wiki page plot summary says he's mortally wounded, and now it niggles at me.

 

edit: for clarification, when I said "pretends to be a robot" I mean that the role is that of a robot, not that the character pretends to be one.

Edited by IJoinedJustForThis
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No, he definitely dies without reason. By that time he is effectively omnipotent-Jedi-Jesus-jewfro, he's already shown he can basically bring people back from the dead, or near death, and could easily magic himself a cure to his little arm injury (thats his 'mortal' wound btw, he takes a glancing blow to the arm in the fight with a couple robots, then just decides hes dead.)

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Right, death for no reason confirmed. Stella even tells him he could heal himself without trouble at the time. Not sure where I picked up the idea that he was a robot, possibly from his deflecting laser blasts with his hands. I'm frankly a bit disappointed, I liked the idea that somebody would build an overenthusiastic future-seeing robot with a perm...

 

While we are at it, how about his whole future-seeing thing? Once it's established, he mentions several times that he knew about this and that, but couldn't tell because it's "forbidden to change the future". However, he frequently is the only thing that saves them, and is crucial in pointing them in the right direction at times. It's his powers that save the team's lives multiple times, but apparently that's not changing the future...?

 

Also, there is a great moment where he tells stella and the hoff they are already on the planet with the weapon by essentially saying "think about it, it's obvious" and then hoff replies along the lines of "all this time, and I never realized". Then Akton replies with "you couldn't have known". Which one is it, you golden-mouthed, frizzy-haired ex-preacher? TELL ME!

 

Lastly, I don't like the thread merging even though I undstand why it happens. At least I called it this time.

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This movie is straight-up bonkers and really deserves a thorough look at. It has everything

-awful FXs: the ships are blatantly made with aerosol cans and lego peices painted silver/gray and claymation that wouldve looked terrible in the 50s

-cheap bobo Star Wars script

-cheap bobo Star Wars soundtrack

-David Hasselhoff

-some of the weirest one liners ever ("I'd say its red hot potatoes for small time smugglers like us" "Time for a little robot chauvinism")

-the worst Deus Ex Machinas (yes, multiple) thrown in when the plot is painted into a corner

-Christopher Plummer being paid by the minute (he takes a 5 line monolouge and makes it last 10 minutes)

-directed by Canon Films mainstay Luigi Cozzi

-$4 MILLION budget that was likely only spent on cocaine

 

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Ok. Imagine that you and your friends are huge Star Wars fans, and so you want to video record your version... this is worse! Apparently it's a cult classic. I believe it's trying to be serious (and trying to capitalize on the Star Wars craze). It's on YouTube for free, because it's wacky nonsense. The toy light sabers, boxy aliens and robots, weird monologues, terribly magical askew scenes, and of course ships on wires, it is definitely a must watch! Enjoy the back yard generic venture into Star Wars cosplay!

 

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I've been campaigning for this movie since I started listening to this podcast! This is the most horrible/great thing I have ever watched. I had to mention it because it must be done. I watched this on HBO as a child, and I literally was thinking that this was a new Star Wars....and it almost made me weep. I soon realized the nonsense it truly is, and then thought Oh... they're making fun of Star Wars.... finally in my older years have realized that, as Rick James said, Cocaine is a helluva drug.

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Saw the new MST3K episode of this, and it was absolutely cookoo-bananas, and a great episode in general. Definitely needs to be done by the podcast.

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Guess this means that they’re finally breaking with their long-running unwritten rule of not doing movies that MST3K has done, at least for the new version of the show.

Good, I say. Maybe now we can finally get them to do Manos.

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