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Episode 145 - Vampire Academy (w/ Michael Showalter, Aisling Bea)

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Answering my own question here I guess. While I saw vampires feeding off of each other as a sexual thing in the movie, it looks like it's more of a drug metaphor in the books. So the boys hooking up with each other would be more like doing a bunch of coke together than it would be like an orgy. And the wrist bands covering their cuts would be more analogous to an addict hiding track marks.

 

TVTropes.com has this to say:

A vampire bite from the non-immortal Moroi vampires cause euphoria and can be addictive. So addictive that there are people who are volunteer feeders for them and are addicted to it the same way drug addicts are. A Dhampir letting a Moroi suck his/her blood during sex is the kinkiest thing imaginable in their world, and such Dhampirs are stigmatized and called "blood whores". In fact, any instance of a Dhampir giving blood to a Moroi is labeled like dirty by the public regardless of how non-sexual the context is. The narcotic bite of the undead Strigoi is ten times as potent as the Moroi.

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Totally late to the party on this one, buuuuut...

 

Okay, so I only have one observation about Vampire Academy and it has to do with the Ducky line that Michael Showalter mentioned in the podcast. Was I the only one who thought the movie was attempting to be clever à la Joss Whedon by slamming that one character with a pop culture reference no one in this movie's targeted demographic would get? As I understand it, millennials and tweensters could give a shit less about anything not in their immediate and disposable purview, and being completely ignorant of everything that came before they were born is seen as a plus. So, dropping a "Ducky" on someone has about as much impact as calling them Fatty Arbuckle.

 

"Who...? Pretty in wha...? I can't even with this!"

 

 

 

On the Luke Cage tip: how great was that scene with a certain Shaolin MC during the liquor store hold up?

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haven't seen it since i was a kid ... it was amazing back then so it's going to be really awful. can't wait

 

inaccurate guess No. 247 ... blake harris is big into his VR so maybe he's gonna be bumped up to the big show for this one?

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Has anyone finished Luke Cage yet? Cause I'm obsessed and wanna talk about it lol.

 

We're starting it tonight! Can't wait!

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I watched the movie after listening to the podcast and fuck, I was more confused. It starts so abruptly I thought that the file didn't download properly and I missed some stuff.

 

My C&O would be about the crew's understanding of compulsion and glamouring. Compulsion was correctly used in this case, in what Lissa did to the whole goddamn school. Glamouring, not glimmering, is when a vampire can change their appearance or shape. The best example would be in the novel, Dracula and the film, Bram Stroker's Dracula. In the novel, Dracula changes into a mist and a dog (those are off the dome, haven't read it recently). In the movie, when Dracula looks like young Gary Oldman and then the werewolf-like thing after he's compelled Mina's friend to sex him.

 

Whenever Dmitri showed up, all I could see was Tommy Wiseau. It was distracting. I was pumped when I saw Cameron Monaghan, loved him in Gotham and Shameless.

 

I'm curious if Ms. Karp, now strigoi, can use her spirit magic? If so, to what effect or end? Did I miss the part where it said "When you become strigoi, you become immortal. Trade off though, no more magic. Byeeee!"

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I think they just use glamouring in that context because that's how True Blood used it, and I'm pretty sure Jason has admitted he's watched True Blood lol.

 

All of the different vampire lore using the same terms for different meanings is frustrating as all fuck.

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Correction: all that stuff about Dhampirs and Strigoi is from Eastern European folklore. Rather than invent a new mythology, Vampire Academy decided to go back to the source of vampire stories.

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q2exvJm.png

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT TWEET EVER HAPPENED 4 HOURS AGO

 

giphy.gif

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That film Michael Showalter is talking about is Daybreakers. I only know this because I live in Brisbane, Australia where it was made and it created a massive buzz- even if it is a terrible film. Which reminds me- another film that attained a massive buzz in my city that flopped tremendously- Drive Hard. Anybody seen it? It got so many people excited and people flocked to the set to see John Cusack- and it was sooooo bad.

 

One more thing to add about Vampire Academy- my mum forced my girlfriend to watch it, because my mum is a massive fan of the books. My girlfriend was bored out of her brain. Thanks mum.

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did you know you could request tv shows and movies for netflix to stream? only found out today, needless to say they have had a few HDTGM suggestions in the last hour. it probably wont do any good but maybe if enough of us ask they might add a few

 

https://www.bustle.com/articles/188364-how-to-request-a-tv-show-or-movie-on-netflix-because-this-hack-is-actually-life-changing

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That tweet is everything

 

That film Michael Showalter is talking about is Daybreakers. I only know this because I live in Brisbane, Australia where it was made and it created a massive buzz- even if it is a terrible film.

I truly enjoy Daybreakers. I thought it was an interesting take on a vampire movie.

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I truly enjoy Daybreakers. I thought it was an interesting take on a vampire movie.

 

I remember as I was watching that film thinking, "So these vampire have taken over the world, yet they're running out of humans to eat? Have they never heard of farming?"

 

Like, they got this far then totally gorged themselves on their human supply without cultivating new crops. Way to plan ahead, guys.

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I didn't realize that Twitter solved the Ducky thing:

 

@HDTGM @paulscheer Zoey Deutch is Howard Deutch's (Pretty in Pink) daughter, hence the Ducky reference?
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I remember as I was watching that film thinking, "So these vampire have taken over the world, yet they're running out of humans to eat? Have they never heard of farming?"

 

Like, they got this far then totally gorged themselves on their human supply without cultivating new crops. Way to plan ahead, guys.

Been a while, but wasn't the story that vampirism was an epidemic that had spread over the last couple of decades? So the world's infrastructure wasn't prepared to handle the blood needs of millions (billions?) of vampires. They didn't "take over". It was a cool premise; I like it when supernatural/paranormal elements are treated matter of factly, with real world consequences thought out -- unlike something like Vampire Academy, which begins to unravel completely when you start considering the world outside the school.

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I preferred to think that the Duckie reference was a shout-out to Zoe Deutch's mother, who was the object of affection in 'Some Kind of Wonderful', another John Hughes script. Obtuse? Of course! It would have been way more blatant if she'd called Mia 'Watts', given their shared haircuts and better link to Mommy. And, of course, Zoe's dad directed SKOW. Surely that's it!

 

 

That's totally not it.

 

 

A bit late to the party, but I hope this graphic will be useful.

 

The director Howard Deutch directed Pretty in Pink (and Some Kind of Wonderful), married Lea Thompson, and had daughter Zoe Deutch.

 

 

DUCKY.jpgphoto share

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I remember as I was watching that film thinking, "So these vampire have taken over the world, yet they're running out of humans to eat? Have they never heard of farming?"

 

Like, they got this far then totally gorged themselves on their human supply without cultivating new crops. Way to plan ahead, guys.

As 24 Hour PartyPizza mentioned, people eventually turned into vampires and there was no thought to what would happen when vampires overcame humans at the critical mass point.

 

Ethan Hawke's character was a researcher developing a blood substitute. When the movie first begins, you see that there are dozens of humans being farmed in vertical Matrix-like apparati. After Hawke goes missing and we check back in with the evil boss of the blood company, we see the number of human bodies dwindle, putting the focus on finding Hawke and the humans he joined.

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Yes. Yes they do. However, since they don't have any real fiber in their diet, their poops are likely black tarry messes (do not Google image search for melena). I hope they wipe the memories of the janitors at the academy.

 

*(assuming a sedentary lifestyle and all extra calories get converted to adipose tissue)

Given the amount of iron they would be consuming in that all-blood, no fiber diet, they would have the worst constipation.

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Given the amount of iron they would be consuming in that all-blood, no fiber diet, they would have the worst constipation.

Wait, do vampires ONLY eat blood? Can they have blood based products like blood sausage or blood pudding? Are they seriously not getting any roughage at all? Their colon cancer rates must be sky high.

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Omission... You guys and girl didn't talk about Olga Kurylenko's character, Headmistress Ellen Kirova...

 

I found her to be the most confusing character in the movie. I know it was filled with goofy misdirects to try and disguise who the real bad guy is. But she was all over the place. And I really didn't understand why her go to move when Rose burst in asking for help was to try to sedate her against her will. She had that syringe ready to go. Is that what she does with any troublesome student?

 

 

Thank you for mentioning this. I thought I was the only one. The way the actress approached the role irritated the hell out of me. She and Joely Richardson are the most outrageous examples of actors whose performance is taking place in a bubble, but it affects almost all the actors. None of them seem to know what kind of film this is or what its tone is supposed to be. And from the looks of it, the director thought it would be fun to not tell them what to do. I wrote a review of VA a while back (https://vampirefilmreviews.wordpress.com/2016/07/01/vampire-academy-2014/) and I am sure at least half of it deals with the fact that no two actors in this film seem to be actually acting "in the same film" - one of them is acting in an action film, another in a mystery film, the next in a high-school drama, the other in a farce, etc., etc.

And I found this not mentioned in any other review I read or podcast I listened to - which makes me question my judgment.

 

Another thing: I cannot believe how many people say Zoey Deutch was the best thing about this film. I have read/heard this opinion repeatedly. Personally, I found her acting awful and her approach to her character (and the film in general) abominable.

 

Anyway, I enjoyed this episode; and this truly is a WTF film that deserved to be featured on the show.

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