Episode 169 - The Garbage Pail Kids Movie: LIVE!

[Cameron H. 23786]

As an IF (comics) fan, I think Jones comes off better in this than in his own show - but he's still far from perfect. Like, if you listen to his dialogue, you can tell he's supposed to be almost a comedic character, but he just can't pull it off. A good example is when Claire brings LC and IF together to talk. Coleen starts telling his story and it's the classic, "I can speak for myself, but but I end up repeating word-for-word what you just said" gag, but coming from Jones there's absolutely no humor or charm in it. It just comes out angsty and sounds like he's shutting his girlfriend up. But once you get him in Ninja Restaurant, he loosens up a bit.

 

I also loved him and Luke together. There's a shot of them side-by-side when they were fighting that made me very happy. I'd love to see them in a Heroes for Hire show. All I want, since we're stuck with him, is for Jones to lighten the fuck up.

 

Everyone else is great, though

[SaraK 1980]

 

Those are the best parts. There should've been a whole episode about all the side characters interactions at the police station.

 

The backstory I gave to my sister, who hadn't seen Iron Fist or Daredevil was "basically they want to to believe NYC is lousy with ninjas but I've never seen one and I lived here for 11 years. Also Danny Rand is the worst"

 

Here's my only follow up question - why is Karen such a bummer?

 

Besides that, I think I'm caught up.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

 

Here's my only follow up question - why is Karen such a bummer?

 

Besides that, I think I'm caught up.

 

Oh, lord! I was making fun of her "breathe-talking" yesterday and nearly passed out - lol. She doesn't speak like that in real life, why would she make that choice?

[tomspanks 9039]

I don't think they know what to do with Karen. I was really surprised when she didn't die in DD S2.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

They're all working at Ninja restaurant.

Also, Frank Bruni's restaurant review is one of the funniest things I've read from the food section of the nytimes.

True story: One of my boss's clients was coming into NYC and wanted to go to Ninja. And my boss asked me if I wanted to come along and I said no. I turned DOWN free food, which is the opposite of my general aesthetic.

 

Here's my only follow up question - why is Karen such a bummer?

I don't know. I liked that actress when she was on True Blood (confession: I stopped before things go weird.) But all they let her do is just like, cry and be afraid. She's there to cry. It's very unfair.

 

I was actually kind of upset when I learned she'd be on "Punisher" too. Because I was like "Oh great what horrible things will she have to endure with TWO superhero male friends/possible love interests."

 

I put up my non-spoilery review of THE DEFENDERS if anyone cares.

[Cameron H. 23786]

 

I put up my non-spoilery review of THE DEFENDERS if anyone cares.

 

Great review, Elektra - as always

 

 

[Cameron H. 23786]

Elektra - I was Tweeting Marc Bernardin that I thought Lewis Tan or Eka Darville would have been great as Iron Fist and some joker replied:

 

"Really what acting ability has Lewis Tan shown anywhere gives you an inkling he would have been good? His scene was the worst of the series"

 

[Cam Bert 8145]

As a Big ol' Linguistics Nerd, I love this post. Also, my manager/dear friend might be moving to Japan so she and I have been having this EXACT SAME DISCUSSION about the use of suffixes in Japanese and how there really no analog in English. Nicely done.

Thank you. Seeing as you have to use them at work and not as much socially the best advice I can give is don't always copy what people say. Japan has a lot of up down hierarchy type relationships and while it maybe okay for one co-worker to call another co-worker -kun or something similar, depending on where you fall it might not be acceptable to do the same.

 

They're all working at Ninja restaurant.

Also, Frank Bruni's restaurant review is one of the funniest things I've read from the food section of the nytimes.

I now believe that's the second time I've seen that and still as confused.

 

I've been conflicted over watching the Defenders mostly because I didn't watch Iron Fist because of obvious reasons and I read that he's very critical to the story. I've come around to realizing I don't need to watch Iron Fist first, but still a little weary. I'll get there though. Also as a comic nerd with no Hulk, Doctor Strange, Namor and Silver Surfer these aren't the Defenders I want and think they should have just called it Heroes for Hire.

[Cameron H. 23786]

...they should have just called it Heroes for Hire.

 

I totally agree, but I'm guessing that wasn't as marketable - not as punchy. It sucks, though, since now we'll never get a "true" Defenders movie. Even if you can't get Surfer or Namor because of rights issues (although I think Namor is theirs again), you could have easily put in Ghost Rider, Valkyrie, or just about anyone on this list.

[Cam Bert 8145]

 

I totally agree, but I'm guessing that wasn't as marketable - not as punchy. It sucks, though, since now we'll never get a "true" Defenders movie. Even if you can't get Surfer or Namor because of rights issues (although I think Namor is theirs again), you could have easily put in Ghost Rider, Valkyrie, or just about anyone on this list.

That's true. I mean they want this to be the Netflix Avengers so they need that one word title. Although, this does make me think Hellcat was a Defender for a long time and she's technically on the show.

 

Here are my comic nerd question about the show, I'll take my answers in a spoiler tag.

-Do we get Daughters of the Dragon?

-Do Danny and Misty start dating?

-Does Trish ever become Hellcat?

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

"Really what acting ability has Lewis Tan shown anywhere gives you an inkling he would have been good? His scene was the worst of the series"

What acting ability has Finn Jones shown?!?

 

I also wished they do Heroes for Hire and agree these aren't really "the Defenders." They also never use that name in the show, so like, maybe just call it what you will.

 

I really hope "Trish" can become Hellcat at some point. She only got to do that one cool fight scene in "Jessica Jones" and I loved it. I was like, "Scratch his eyes out!" The new Hellcat series has been one of the bright spots in a very depressing year at Marvel.

[RyanSz 3140]

Depressing fact #2: Jim Cummings provided the voice of Greaser Greg and Nat Nerd. He is also the voice of Winnie the Pooh! I guess Winnie the Pooh already has a GPK name.

Apparently as soon as he saw the final product, Cummings became a vocal member of the boycotts against this film.

 

I was amazed when I heard that Tangerine was only a year older than Dodger, because that gang legit looked to be in their late 20s at the youngest, while Dodger looked maybe 12. I also had issue with the name Tangerine as the name of the prostitute from the film of the same name. But looking back at this movie, it would not have seemed out of place for a prostitute to befriend a young boy and his gross alien buddies in order to help her create a fashion line. Also, am I the only one that was expecting to see "A Cannon Films Production" in the opening credits?

[Cameron H. 23786]

What acting ability has Finn Jones shown?!?

 

 

Tan was charming, funny, and sexy af. Plus, he can actually, you know, fight. Whatever, dawg.

[RyanSz 3140]

Almost done with Defenders and from what I can gleam is that Finn Jones felt it necessary to try and talk like a gritty/righteous superhero, even when he wasn't hero-ing it up, to the point of cringeworthy. His fighting scenes have improved a bit since his series, but that was a low pole to begin with. I also realized that they never really prepared Kristen Ritter for fight scenes involving more than one person at a time because she came off clunky at numerous instances, though I did find her fight with the fat ninja who was tailing one of Jone's clients to be legitimately funny as he tried to throw some of his own spin kicks, which I hope was the point of the scene.

 

The worst part of the series was easily Sigourney Weaver's character who I felt did jack shit as far as a villain goes, especially for a Marvel series. Also is Kun Lun like Shadaloo from Street Fighter where it's basically a hodgepodge collection of cultural and ethnic backgrounds and everyone just claims to be a natural citizen? Because the heads of the Hand claim they left Kun Lun to form the Hand and it's a wide spectrum of backgrounds in order to cover various continents (North America, China, Japan, Africa), which just causes me to ask did millennia ago a bunch of different pilgrims found this land like America or is it something that's supposed to be taken for granted as comic book logic? And if it's the pilgrims theory, what happened to the original Kun Lun citizens?

[DanEngler 5249]

In case you guys aren't following Paul on Twitter, the Garbage Pail Kids cast is coming out of the woodwork.

 

Based on true life events @jonlovett joins @HDTGM to talk about the new American Classic, Garbage Pail Kids

Hey that is actually me as Ali Gator in the back ..... yes really.

You did the Lord's work.

And later…

 

Today HDTGM tackles the 1st (& only) movie ever based off a Topps trading card - its Garbage Pail Kids w @jonlovett

I hope they got hazard pay.

Scott, this was such a good time. Thanks for putting it in my purview. I honestly felt like Dr. Strangelove at the end of Dr. Strangelove...

HA! Thanks for listening and just know if bullies that look 30 years older than you ever pick on you again, we got your back!

Sounds like Blake is going to have a lot of material for this week's article.

 

Edited to add: I think they just booked Chrissy Teigen for one of the November live shows via the magic of Twitter!

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

In case you guys aren't following Paul on Twitter, the Garbage Pail Kids cast is coming out of the woodwork.

 

i was just going to post this. it's brilliant. i pointed blake in ali gators direction and i think it might work out. i'd say there are a few crazy stories from that set. i also kinda nudged him towards felissa rose's twitter too ... angela from sleepaway camp ... maybe she can answer who's who and on what branch of the family tree they land.

 

also, i really hope they get chrissy. she's hilarious. wonder what movie they'd review with her?

 

edit: i bet jason wishes he was on twitter now!!

[tomspanks 9039]

-Does Trish ever become Hellcat?

 

Do you really want to know?

 

No, she doesn't, which makes me so sad.

 

 

Edited to add: I think they just booked Chrissy Teigen for one of the November live shows via the magic of Twitter!

 

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

So in an attempt to bring this back to Garbage Pail Kids (when doing the C&Os for this, Nate is going to wonder why so many of them are about the Defenders).

 

If this is a world where the STATE deemed Abraham Lincoln "too ugly" and had him smushed, then is this a world where the Confederacy won the Civil War? Is this that HBO show?

 

And if it's the pilgrims theory, what happened to the original Kun Lun citizens?

 

 

The portal to Kun Lun is supposed to open every few years or so. And they take assholes like Danny in, so I assumed they were pilgrims who intentionally went to learn their ways. (Alexandra even says she had a daughter in her first life, so I assumed she went specifically to learn how to conquer death.) And I think Madame Gao is supposed to have been born there.) Then the monks kicked them out for abusing the substance or whatever and things were fine.

 

The Iron Fist is supposed to protect Kun Lun from the Hand. And it was revealed at the very end "Iron Fist" that while Danny was goofing off in NYC, they were all slaughtered.

 

Basically they lived in some kind of alternate universe utopia for thousands of years and then Danny Rand becomes Iron Fist and it all goes to shit. The nightmare Danny has on the plane is supposed to be it.

 

 

ETA:

 

think they just booked Chrissy Teigen for one of the November live shows via the magic of Twitter!

As if I weren't bummed enough I can't go in November. Damn my sister for having a baby.

[RyanSz 3140]

So in an attempt to bring this back to Garbage Pail Kids (when doing the C&Os for this, Nate is going to wonder why so many of them are about the Defenders).

 

If this is a world where the STATE deemed Abraham Lincoln "too ugly" and had him smushed, then is this a world where the Confederacy won the Civil War? Is this that HBO show?

 

 

 

 

The portal to Kun Lun is supposed to open every few years or so. And they take assholes like Danny in, so I assumed they were pilgrims who intentionally went to learn their ways. And I think Madame Gao is supposed to have been born there. Then the monks kicked them out.

 

The Iron Fist is supposed to protect Kun Lun from the Hand. And it was revealed at the very end "Iron Fist" that while Danny was goofing off in NYC, they were all slaughtered.

 

Basically they lived in some kind of alternate universe utopia for thousands of years and then Danny Rand becomes Iron Fist and it all goes to shit. The nightmare Danny has on the plane is supposed to be it.

 

Yeah I remember all that. but it was one of those things where Weaver was talking about basically leading the Fingers of the Hand out of Kun Lun and that they've all been leading it for years upon years, but when looking at the leaders it reminded me of Street Fighter where no one on the show had any clue as to who the natural citizens were or were supposed to be.

[sycasey 2.0 2301]

This was probably the most aggressively unpleasant movie I've ever seen.

 

I'd also just like to point out one of the very first lines Captain Manzini speaks to Dodger:

 

"Have I ever forbidden you to touch any one of my treasures?"

 

He's definitely running a sex dungeon.

[RyanSz 3140]

This was probably the most aggressively unpleasant movie I've ever seen.

 

I'd also just like to point out one of the very first lines Captain Manzini speaks to Dodger:

 

"Have I ever forbidden you to touch any one of my treasures?"

 

He's definitely running a sex dungeon.

Are we sure that he didn't just kidnap a bunch of people from the Home for the Ugly and convince them that they are aliens by means of Stockholm Syndrome?

 

Also after finishing The Defenders, can I say that I am honestly shocked that

Claire wasn't this teams version of Phil Coulson where her apparent death would cause the team to come together and fight against a common enemy, as that's what it seemed to be leading to with each season of the four prior shows. Also I was surprised by no Punisher mention or cameo, especially after he was featured in teasers and trailers for the mini-series.

 

[Royboy 430]

I totally agree, but I'm guessing that wasn't as marketable - not as punchy. It sucks, though, since now we'll never get a "true" Defenders movie. Even if you can't get Surfer or Namor because of rights issues (although I think Namor is theirs again), you could have easily put in Ghost Rider, Valkyrie, or just about anyone on this list.

 

Well, there's also the alleged divide between the TV shows and the movies, so no Valkyrie either (and I think Fox makes the former X-Men members verboten as well). Of course the sparsity of crossovers between the movies and shows means we'll likely never see the relationships between folks like Daredevil and Black Widow or Jessica Jones and Scott Lang (to say nothing of Hawkeye and Mockingbird).

[BubbleTeaButt 30]

a few omissions..

 

1) Tangerine and Dodger drive to "the dance clubs" to sell some fashion. They leave in full daylight / cut to night-time & they are still driving to the dance clubs. They sell the clothes but the Juice crew shows up and Dodger hides in a duffel bag and Tangerine leaves him there.. How does Dodger get home or at least back to the Antiques shop that may be his home? He has to be at least a 45 minute drive away!

 

2) In the final scene with Dodger and Tangerine; Tangerine says, "The fashion show was a big success. You're a hit."

That is NOT my recollection... The fashion show was attacked by monsters, people were beaten, the crowd was gassed by Windy, models were stripped to their underwear and chased away screaming, the entire audience ran out of the venue fearing for their lives. How was that a big success?

 

3) The small age difference between Tangerine and Dodger is still flummoxing to me. I am curious as to what their characters ages are supposed to be but I am not surprised to hear Paul say she drove the car into a brick wall. She was 15 when the movie was released so she was 15 or even younger it was shot. She should NOT have known how to drive at that age yet she is shown driving in several scenes. She is also shown in a bra or or other sexually provocative outfits throughout the movie which seems sketchy as hell now knowing she was 15 or younger during filming. This director may be sketchier than the Chopping Mall director!

Follow up on the director. He was 64 years old at the time and in his career he was nominated for two awards according to IMDB:

 

Primetime Emmy Awards

1956 Nominated

Primetime Emmy Best Director - Film Series

The Bob Cummings Show (1955)

For episode "Return of the Wolf".

 

 

The Stinkers Bad Movie Awards

1987 Nominated

Stinker Award Worst Picture

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

[RyanSz 3140]

 

I totally agree, but I'm guessing that wasn't as marketable - not as punchy. It sucks, though, since now we'll never get a "true" Defenders movie. Even if you can't get Surfer or Namor because of rights issues (although I think Namor is theirs again), you could have easily put in Ghost Rider, Valkyrie, or just about anyone on this list.

Yeah I can see the next seasons of Iron Fist and Luke Cage being combined with a subtitle of Heroes for Hire. It's hard to keep track of the smaller names that Marvel owns since there are some that you wouldn't think another company owns but do. A prime example is Taskmaster, who just recently came back under ownership of Marvel, though I would have loved to see him in a Deadpool film as their interactions in comic form are always great. Yet hearing a character like that is under the Marvel media banner again gives me hope for a Thunderbolts Netflix show as they have the characters necessary to create the bulk of the Daniel Way iteration of the team that was put together by Thunderbolt Ross aka Red Hulk (William Hurt). You then also have the Punisher and Elektra and there have been rumblings of an eventual Bullseye appearance on a Netflix show. Throw in Taskmaster and you have the makings of a great Netflix series.

[pscudese 701]

Yes, Manzini is 100% a child predator... but I don't think we should let Tangerine off the hook for her transgressions against Dodger.

 

1. Once hearing that Dodger created the jacket she so adored, Tangerine lays down in a very seductive position and begins questioning how old he was, "You know that jacket makes you look older. At least 16. Maybe 17." Dodger is enthralled to hear his crush considers him older... as in of LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT!

 

 

2. During the scene where Dodger's outfits are being sold, the song "I'm Read to Sacrifice" is playing. One of the lyrics is, "I'm ready to pay the price (for your love), I'm ready to sacrifice." In that it's a female singing, I say it's from Tangerine's POV and the "price" can be translated to the price of jail time Tangerine will face for her behavior with a minor!!

 

3. Finally, upon selling all of the outfits, Tangerine seals the deal in convincing Dodger to make more by straight up tongue fucking the shit out of his ear.

 

This poor child who's simply a sexual pawn between both Manzini and Tangerine.