Episode 204 - Holiday in Handcuffs (w/ Jessica St. Clair)

[Cameron H. 23786]

22 minutes ago, Blast Hardcheese said:

The ice skating scene really got me because the bandstand is in the middle of the frozen lake or lagoon or whatever that body of water is. Does this mean in the autumn, spring and summer months, the bandstand is just floating out in the middle of the water?

No, this all goes further into the likelihood of Mario having enough time to put this together. In her story, she says because her performance was canceled, they sprayed water on their driveway or something, let it freeze, and she did her performance there. Mario was recreating that moment for her. That was just like the backyard gazebo. Now, is three hours (the time the movie gives us until dinner) enough time for him to secretly hang lights and make an impromptu ice rink in their backyard? I don’t know. It feels like it might be pushing it though  

[Aaron TE Price 30]

MJH didn't notice that Slater was built when he was wearing her dad's shirt that was basically painted on to him? It took him being shirtless for her to notice? And I love that he doesn't know what's flustered her. "What is it? Oh! My action figure physique, while I'm only wearing a towel, has caught you off guard? I'm not used to that reaction."

And I wondered what happened to Grandma at the end. The cops tell her she's not going yet, which seems like there's a deleted scene where someone at the station is a fan and wants to meet her or something. But I think it's more likely that they're throwing her right back in jail for pulling a gun on a cop. 

[Cameron H. 23786]

I know these types of movies aren’t as flashy as some of the other HDTGM movies, but I always love them because the insanity is in some ways more subtle. 

For example, I get someone buying an aspirational outfit for when they lose weight, but apparently MJH’s father regularly travels with it in the hopes that, what, he might lose 10lbs over a holiday weekend? That’s fucking delusional. I mean, even if it were possible, it would be dangerous as fuck. You’ve got to set reasonable weight loss goals guys. 1-2 lbs a week is healthy and sustainable.

Another moment I love is when they’re on the way to the cabin and they’re doing the classic “tell me a bit about yourself so we can fake this relationship” bit, and what MJH tells Lopez about herself is that she was “probably fired” from her job, she lives in a crappy loft, and doesn’t play golf. I mean, how the fuck is he supposed to work with any that? Shouldn’t this be the point where she tells him about ice skating and art? What’s he supposed to say, “We’ve been dating for months, and if there’s one thing I know, Trudi doesn’t play golf.” 

I mean, shit. He’s your captive, MJH. He’s under duress. This is your idea. You need him to be able to work with you. At least tell him when your fucking birthday is or something.

Oh, and MJH kidnaps him on the way to the bathroom. So, does she just let him piss himself or what?

[grudlian. 4725]

33 minutes ago, Cameron H. said:

Oh, and MJH kidnaps him on the way to the bathroom. So, does she just let him piss himself or what?

This is the best possible thing about this movie. 

[SaraK 1980]

1 hour ago, Cameron H. said:

I know these types of movies aren’t as flashy as some of the other HDTGM movies, but I always love them because the insanity is in some ways more subtle. 

 

This is why I love made for TV movies - they’re so freaking insane because you have zero logic flowing through it. 

[MoorReese 3]

7 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

Also when did he call off their (what seemed like it was going to be) elaborate wedding. Like how close to the day are we talking? Because the closer to the wedding itself and the more I hate him because that's just rude.

In the newspaper MJH picks up at the diner near the end of the movie when she's talking to her waitress friend it says they are getting married "on Saturday", meaning that at best the wedding is still taking place 6 days from this date. 

[GalenHoward 6]

They could honestly dedicate another entire episode to this 100 car pileup of a movie and have no shortage of material.

What restaurant would place a loaded gun right behind that tiny counter in easy access to everyone? Even if it was just in a glass case or in the back office, that would 1000x more plausible.

Also, I cannot get over the moment when "Dad" meets Nick and says they thought MJH "liked the innies and not the outies." No wonder the parents are having trouble in the bedroom if he's still using preschool terms for genitalia.

 

[Archetypo 9]

Guys, it wasn't an "Indian diner," it was just a diner that happened to be run by an Indian guy. 

[WatchOutForSnakes 807]

5 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

Yes!!! She thought she had made it with her shitty art. NOPE! Also if this business is going to work one of then should know something about how the art world works and I don't think either of them understand it outside of making creepy portraits and having a place to hang said portraits. You need connections and contacts. 

I read this differently. I was thinking Dimps bought her art because he genuinely liked it or that it reminded him of her (there's no accounting for taste). And given her general unawareness of reality, I doubt she would ever see it as a hollow gesture, and just take it at face value. 

 

Loved this episode! June and Jessica St. Claire together is pure joy! 

[RyanSz 3140]

So is no one going to mention that this is kind of a gender swap of Buffalo '66 with Vincent Gallo and Christina Ricci? While it's not as dark as that film, you still have a person being made under duress to pose as the significant other of their captor in order to please that captor's family.

Also in regards to St. Clair's declaration for either "none of the hair or all of the hair." I think I've found her ideal candidates:

Noho Hank from Barry

and Ron Jeremy

[Cameron H. 23786]

2 hours ago, WatchOutForSnakes said:

I read this differently. I was thinking Dimps bought her art because he genuinely liked it or that it reminded him of her (there's no accounting for taste). And given her general unawareness of reality, I doubt she would ever see it as a hollow gesture, and just take it at face value. 

 

Loved this episode! June and Jessica St. Claire together is pure joy! 

Even if he genuinely liked her art, him buying it steals the thunder from what should have been her moment and robs her of any legitimacy. If she’s serious about being a successful artist, she needs to sell it to someone who’s going to promote her work. She needs recognition more than romantic gestures. And hanging her shorty paintings on Slater’s office wall, while sweet, doesn’t gain her any notoriety. I mean, who knows when she’ll have another chance to showcase her work? And if asked if she’s ever sold anything, “Yes, once - to my boyfriend” isn’t exactly the best answer if you want to be taken seriously.

[Cameron H. 23786]

One of the more aggravating things in the movie is how the movie tries to portray MJH is this kind of major disappointment to the family, while simultaneously showing her to be the absolute center of her parents’ universe. It blows my mind just how often the brother and sister are just completely disregarded. For example, on Christmas Day when MJH’s mother is delegating responsibilities to everyone in the house, the brother and sister are tasked with working the kitchen while MJH and Dimps are told to go “have fun.” Are you kidding me? You’re telling me I have to stay here and shuck corn on Christmas Day while Clarissa and Slater get to go have kissy-kiss time down by the lake? What kind of bullshit is that?

However, I think maybe the most obnoxious example of this is when they’re decorating the tree. For some reason Bro and Sis are nowhere to be found (probably slinging some salt-slag), and MJH’s mother suggests that Dimps puts the star on the tree. MJH throws a huge tantrum and says how that’s been her job since she was 4-years-old, but...she’s the eldest kid, isn’t she? Are you telling me that in the ensuing 24 years she never once let her baby brother or sister put the star on the tree? And if it were ever even suggested she would throw a fucking fit? And her parents encouraged this? Man, if I were the brother or the sister I would have peaced out of that bullshit family just as soon as ever I could.

[Sharky86 15]

Honestly shocked they didn't talk more about the gas station clerk. That seemed like a character they'd talk about for like 10 minutes. He just buys MJH's BS line about taking him to the lake for a sex weekend and he returns with sex cuffs?! In the box sex cuffs too so they weren't something in the lost & found. He either sells sex toys or those were his own. Then when Mario Lopez comes back to the store, the clerk recognizes him and make that weird air humping move! 

Also, did anyone else think Lopez's "love" for MJH was just pity based? He sees how badly she's treated by her family, sees her getting just reamed by her parents on Christmas, then to help get them off her case a little he PROPOSES to her! They don't find love, he has extreme pity for her. I'd even bet he found out no one wanted to buy her terrible painting and bought it to make her feel better. 

[StevenBailey 2]

Just a little side note. Right after she kidnaps Mario Lopez and they are in the car talking for the first time, if you look closely, you can see that Mario Lopez is wearing an earpiece in his right ear. It's only in three shots so it can be hard to catch. Idk, but I just found that kinda funny for some reason. Why is he wearing an earpiece at all and how did none of the editors notice that it could be seen in the final cut of the movie?

[Cameron H. 23786]

21 minutes ago, Sharky86 said:

He just buys MJH's BS line about taking him to the lake for a sex weekend and he returns with sex cuffs?! In the box sex cuffs too so they weren't something in the lost & found. He either sells sex toys or those were his own.

I wasn’t sure which was more unlikely: that he sold sex cuffs at all or that he offered them to her on the house. You don’t just give people free shit because they’re about to fuck. What kind of crazy business is this guy running anyway?

[gigi-tastic 2322]

Ok so when Slater tries to help MJH out by proposing I personally think he did more harm than good. If this weekend were to work out as planned he gets his freedom and they never see each other again. Given her family situation wouldn't it be worse for her to tell  them her engagement ended rather than saying she broke up with her boyfriend? I know he was trying to be gallant in the moment but think it through dude! 

[Bumpy 1674]

I

fucking

love

these people together.

[grudlian. 4725]

7 hours ago, gigi-tastic said:

Ok so when Slater tries to help MJH out by proposing I personally think he did more harm than good. If this weekend were to work out as planned he gets his freedom and they never see each other again. Given her family situation wouldn't it be worse for her to tell  them her engagement ended rather than saying she broke up with her boyfriend? I know he was trying to be gallant in the moment but think it through dude! 

Wasn't this his plan? He told MJH he was going to be the perfect boyfriend so that when the cops came, it made her look even worse. 

[GalenHoward 6]

11 hours ago, Sharky86 said:

Honestly shocked they didn't talk more about the gas station clerk. That seemed like a character they'd talk about for like 10 minutes. He just buys MJH's BS line about taking him to the lake for a sex weekend and he returns with sex cuffs?! In the box sex cuffs too so they weren't something in the lost & found. He either sells sex toys or those were his own. Then when Mario Lopez comes back to the store, the clerk recognizes him and make that weird air humping move! 

That character was insane. And it killed me in his second scene when the dad joins Nick to pay for the olive oil. He says, "I got a little woman at home who loves everything lathered up in oil... That's the best thing about the holidays, no guilt. (leaning into Nick) Right son?" Then we cut back to the clerk looking on in disgust. So presumably he now thinks this is some incestuous orgy, and that crosses the line for his small town store clerk sensibilities. All that to justify him pulling a gun on Nick moments later.

[Cameron H. 23786]

It bothered me to the core of my being that this family’s tradition was to write letters to Santa on Christmas Eve. I mean, Santa’s elves need time to make the shit. I believe all letters to Santa should be postmarked no later than December 1st. Last minute letters and addendums should be summarily fed to Santa’s bloodthirsty hoard of dire polar bears.

Furthermore, I found it pretty rich that MJH gives Dimps crap over his list being “superficial” and “materialistic” because he asked for an SUV and a pasta maker when the first two items on her own list are “tiki lights” and a “Chinese tea set.” She might as well add “accusatory black pot” to her list.

Also, I found it hilarious that she broke out the wine to write their lists because it would “take awhile,” and then we come to find out that, between the two of them, they only asked for five items: fully loaded SUV, pasta maker, tiki lights, Chinese tea set, and “stop disappointing parents.” Jesus Christ, they went through an entire bottle writing fourteen freaking words?!? Just how long does it take these numb nuts to write anything? Perhaps they should add literacy and writing fluency to the list of intangibles they wish to receive from Santa...

[Mistweave 15]

I just wanted to know more about MJH’s friend at the diner and the kinky sex games she has with her boyfriend on Christmas. And her simmering resentment that he doesn’t use coasters for his beer cans

[Archetypo 9]

45 minutes ago, GalenHoward said:

That character was insane. And it killed me in his second scene when the dad joins Nick to pay for the olive oil. He says, "I got a little woman at home who loves everything lathered up in oil... That's the best thing about the holidays, no guilt. (leaning into Nick) Right son?" Then we cut back to the clerk looking on in disgust. So presumably he now thinks this is some incestuous orgy, and that crosses the line for his small town store clerk sensibilities. All that to justify him pulling a gun on Nick moments later.

And when he pulls the gun on Lopez, he tells him to "back dat ass up!"

 

Also, I doubt some podunk gas station has EVOO in stock...

[GrantKanigan 6]

Hey all! New to the boards, so if I’m posting in the wrong place let me know!

 

At the beginning of the podcast, they talk about where the film is supposed to be set; ‘New York, some midwestern US city.’ It was actually filmed in my hometown, in Calgary, Alberta Canada. The final scene actually zooms out and shows the entire city. The wood cabin scenes were shot put in Bragg Creek and area, a small hamlet outside of Calgary.  It’s a small detail, but they made no refrence to the actual city it was supposed to take place in, so I’m just going to say it took place in my hometown, as that’s where they shot it! Not a big detail, but I couldn’t resist giving a shout out to Calgary! 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

5 hours ago, grudlian. said:

Wasn't this his plan? He told MJH he was going to be the perfect boyfriend so that when the cops came, it made her look even worse. 

Yes BUT by this time in the movie Stockholm is setting in and they are falling in love so he's trying to genuinely be nice. He saw she was getting into it because of that hideous briefcase so he swoops in to save her. 

[gigi-tastic 2322]

1 hour ago, Archetypo said:

And when he pulls the gun on Lopez, he tells him to "back dat ass up!"

 

Also, I doubt some podunk gas station has EVOO in stock...

Given the look of the place I doubt any food stuff there hasn't been pumped full of preservatives and is from 4 years ago at least