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Favorite quotes from Earwolf shows!

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Special Earwolf assignment: What are your favorite quotes from our shows? If you can provide episode numbers and timestamps, that's even better! GO!

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CBB Ep 176. 50.28 "A jungle condom need is when you are going so far deep in to that pussy you know your not coming out civilised"

 

You could start at the beginning of Leykis' rap at 49:52.

 

"You even been double teamed by the ghost of two twin towers... ...Twin tower double penetration? Double penetration from two twin towers baby!" 1:03:45 - 1:04:10

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Episode 73 of CBB (CDR at the time) at 23:47 Bill Cosby-Bukowski saying "now get outta here before I stab you biii**ch" for some reason always makes me laugh.

 

Also episode 23 at 16:02 Paul F. Tompkins saying "Tig, I'm gonna ask you to shut your mouth"

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CBB episode 102 at 1:05:00 "You are correct, he died of 'butt disease'"

episode 89 at 16:09 "I am 5 foot 10 years old"

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From episode 12 (i think) of CBB, Howard Kremer talking about rappers shooting each other, and how you never turn on the news and hear "The rock group KISS has been assassinated by a rival group of jews dressed as monsters".

 

Looked it up, it is ep 12, and it's at around 15:55.

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Maybe it's not so quotable, but a great moment in CBB is in EP111 (about 58 minutes in) when Scott Aukerman and Brett Gelman are talking about guest David Guy Levy, referring to him as a stupid person. That made me laugh. The episode also features the great Gelrap "Hi! How Are You".

 

http://www.earwolf.c...hi-how-are-you/

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Episode 167 58:51

 

“New No-No. Uh, if you’re my dad, then uh, I should be able to make you my son. If you call me son, I should be able to adopt you and call you son. Raise you. Support you. Feed and Clothe you. New No-No: Dad’s the son now!”

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Ep 3 of Analyze Phish, at about 47:40

 

"Oh, I got a one minute handjob at a Cowboy Mouth concert"

- Harris Wittles

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B, gimmie a Z. O, gimmie an A. B, gimmie a Z...B, gimmie another Z. Y, gimmie a U. Your name is Zazzu!

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From Affirmation Nation - Ms. Hardtar's Dog

 

"She had taken a vow of sexual undesirability"

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Bill Cosby Bukowski- "Shut the fuck up Tempist Bledsoe. I will fucking Tempist Bleed you out." and who could forget? "Shut up Kisha Knight Pullium. I will Kisha Knight Pull all of your hair out and make a sandwhich out of that and feed the sandwhich to your butt." and of course, "shut the fuck up Theo. This is your first and only Malcom Jamal Warning." Cosby Bukowski might be my favorite.

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Let me tell you about President Obamacare. There is going to be a change in this country...

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I don't remember any exact quotes but I loved conversation on the HDTGM podcast where they were talking about the spaghetti robot from Judge Dredd, it was one of the funniest things I have ever heard on a podcast

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"You're name is Zazzu." Comedy Bang Bang, Episode 182:Repeat Your Keyword

 

Joe Wengert as Arthur Steinborn 43:28. I had to pull my car over to process that moment.

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HDTGM Episode 40, 15.45 the great June DIane Raphael's 'Spaghetti Robot' remains one of the all-time greatest moments of ANY podcast anywhere.

I can be driving home from work and out of nowhere think of that - and start laughing out loud.

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In Improv4Humans... "My wife is so flat chested we call her Iowa...southern Iowa." The fact that he felt the need to clarify that made me crack up. I forget which episode...

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"All the Oscars ever gave me was a barrel of fuckin' eggs in the face." - Paul Giamatti

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"What is a Street. Fighter.?"

Ms. June Diane in Episode #60 of HDTGM. It's somewhere in the first half of the podcast. :P Sorry don't have a timestamp.

 

I really enjoyed when Kristen Schaal was explaining how hard it was to get Howard the Duck's feathers to stand up straight in a scene in episode #65. I don't know the exact quote but she says something like "Just use some fishing line or something I mean give me a job George Lucas, god dammit!"

 

When Andy Richter said "You shouldn't let that cat walk on your keyboard" when Scott played the "What Am I Thinking?" theme song in episode #92 with Wompler.

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Bob Ducca: "I tried to watch the Rockette's once, but the kick line gave me a seizure."

Don Dimello: "Oh, I'm so sorry for you."

Bob Ducca: "Oh, I enjoyed it."

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