Jump to content
Welcome to the new Earwolf Forums! Read more... ×

Elektra Boogaloo

Members
  • Content count

    678
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    13

Elektra Boogaloo last won the day on May 23

Elektra Boogaloo had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

2473 Excellent

1 Follower

About Elektra Boogaloo

  • Rank
    Mistress of All Agonies

Profile Information

  • Location
    New York

Recent Profile Visitors

3020 profile views
  1. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 197 - Beastly: LIVE!

    Confession. I did not watch this movie. I read the book so I don't feel like I need to suffer twice. Do they really go to the Carroll Gardens zoo in the movie? That makes no sense. Carroll Garden is really small and there is a zoo in Prospect Park. You'd just have to go through one neighborhood (Park Slope) and the park itself and you're there. Google maps says it's 2.5 miles driving. ETA: I thik that woman is dressed as Dorothy from the WIZARD OF OZ not Belle.
  2. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196.5 - Minisode 196.5

    Can we name the band Kinkshaming Dolphins?
  3. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196.5 - Minisode 196.5

    I'm worried about you, Katie. You in danger, girl. I'm also highly amused that our dolphin shaming made it to the mini-episode.
  4. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196 - The Meg: LIVE!

    Well if your dolphin patronus is FEMALE, Taylor Anne, I bet it's cool? Most of the dolphins who played "Flipper" were female. I bet they never had dicks out. I quote wikipedia: "Female dolphins were chosen because they are less aggressive than males and their skins (unlike the skins of male dolphins) are usually free from scars and other disfigurations acquired in altercations with other dolphins, making it easier to have them pass for the identical "Flipper". As for if a dolphin can really "rape" another dolphin. It's possible the some of the females have evolved to want a gang bang? Who knows. I don't want to slut shame female dolphins. I have however read of male dolphins raping whales? like through the blow hole? And that's how they breathe so, like, it could be dangerous? (Male dolphins have also tried this with other male dolphins--see Ricky Gervais' comedy.) It's not just humans. And the inter-species stuff is freaky to me.
  5. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196 - The Meg: LIVE!

    It's so funny that you guys are talking about dolphin rape. They always have their dicks out. (A friend of mine once showed us a "cute" picture of her at a dolphin encounter and my coworker and I were like, "... there's it's dick right there.") I was actually thinking the other day it's a shame Hollywood always does shark movies and then people are afraid of them because they should be afraid of dolphins. We should write a movie where some evil company puts, like, Viagra juice in the water and the dolphins just rape swimmers. I'd rather a shark bite my leg off. It's usually an accident. And even if it did want to eat my leg, at least the leg is going to good use.
  6. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196 - The Meg: LIVE!

    So Rainn Wilson was evil from the jump? Because he gave money for bullshit stuff but not for child care? I agree with Muttnik that the Meg must be inbred as hell. Google search tells me the average shark lives for about 30 years, but the longest lived was about 275 years. The species megalodon disappeared from known science about 2.3 million years ago. Even if they *all* live 200 years (and I'm not even sure if it's the big ones that live longer), that family tree is becoming more of a shrub every 30 years or so. That's thousands of generations. I guess what bothers me about the secret habitat scenario is that there was no attempt to imagine how it might have adapted in those 2 million years. Like what if it had become transparent and the humans couldn't see it or something? I'm just spitballing here. They didn't even really use the powerful jaws of the megalodon in a cool way. I agree with all of you that it should've bit through that helicopter, like one of those flying sharks in South Africa. Because apparently megalodon could eat through bone. So let's see it bite through some shit! I wanted more stuff snapped in half, I think. The Meg really just behaved like a movie shark (that is a shark that goes after humans as usual prey, not one that only bites humans on accident or in extreme situations like real sharks). I'd like to have seen it go after, like cruise ships or maybe some marine life they kept at the research station. Maybe the little girl could've been friends with one of those whales and watch it get eaten.
  7. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196 - The Meg: LIVE!

    Long post. Too many thoughts. I tried to bullet them for those that don't care. -- Nicole was right. He did sing "just keep swimming" I know because I laughed out loud for a long time. I think that was an improv from Statham. There's no way it was in the script. Also I would pay to watch movies with Nicole shouting about people fucking from a loud speaker. I think Alamo Drafthouse should get on this. -- Was anyone else UPSET that a lot of the extra characters (Ruby Rose, Mack, the dumb dog) didn't die? I thought Statham, Li Bingbing and the little girl would be the only survivors. I mean, I guess I'm glad the black guy didn't die because that would be more racist. (And I feel like the script was super racist with him always being scared of stuff and the actor had to WORK to make it, like, even acceptable.) -- Jason mentioned an episode of Blue Earth that I should watch. Because I was confused about the Meg's habitat and behavior. I thought at the beginning that it HATED the lights because he's used to swimming in darkness (so far away from the surface). So then I thought they'd like, shine bright lights in its eyes at the end to blind it or something. But no, it swims to the surface and is JUST FINE chasing swimmers. Shouldn't it be VERY confused in a setting with light? -- Then I thought maybe its PREY is bio luminescent and it's ATTRACTED to lights which would explain why it would go to the surface anyway. But then shouldn't it be thinking anything bright is food and dark swimming figures AREN'T? -- And then I went into a hole of wondering what Megalodon's prey actually was. Wikipedia says whales and sea turtles and stuff. Which lines up with the shark going for the whale sounds at the end. But then I thought, so are there whales down in the Marianas trench? If so, how do they BREATHE? Whales are mammals. They can't stay below the surface forever. Which made me think there can't be whales in the Marianas trench, which made me wonder why the Megalodon even knows what a whale song sounds like. -- I was also confused about how Statham was fine at the end of the film. I've seen Shark Week. I like the ones about people who survive shark attacks. I've seen people get injuries from punching sharks because the skin is sandpapery and abrasive. So shouldn't he be shredded just from touching it? And if it has such force, how did bones not break like he was hit by a car? I had more problems with that than him being able to kill it by shoving the spear into the eye because the brain must be behind the eye. -- I hated Ruby Rose's hair. I liked the little girl's hair though. I wanted those wings. Where can I get them? -- I didn't know Statham was a diver but I did think he had good form when he dove into the water off the boat (usually actors look stupid diving). So that adds up. -- Oh-- another swimmer thing. I remember reading, one of those RL Stine books as a kid where the main character escapes a shark by swimming with little splash (sharks are attracted to the splashing because they eat seals--although I don't know why a Megalodon would know what splashing sounds like at all if it's never near the surface?) So when I would do lap swim growing up and someone had a very splash-y kick (bad form) I would tell them they'd get eaten by a shark and they never knew what I was talking about. But, long story short, the BREAST STROKE is the least splashy of the typical strokes and I've read survival guides that suggest it for escaping sharks. I was really annoyed that they were all swimming crawl/freestyle. That is faster but way more splash and they were distinctly told to swim SLOWER with careful movements. Some shark experts.
  8. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 196 - The Meg: LIVE!

    I am super excited about this episode! The movie! The guests! I am about to start it. But last night when I couldn't sleep (insomnia, don't have it). I wrote what I thought was a more scientifically accurate opening for the movie. I thought I would share. AHEM A Garfield phone rings. JASON STATHAM: Hello? BETTY WHITE: Statham? It's Betty White. You know how I have a sanctuary for prehistoric animals at my farm? STATHAM: I've seen LAKE PLACID; I am up to speed. BETTY WHITE: Well that fucker Rainn Wilson stole my Megalodon. STATHAM: What? Why would he do that? BETTY WHITE: Hell if I know. He's playing a real rich douchenozzle. I need someone to keep it from hurting people. STATHAM: Why me? BETTY WHITE: I already sent the Rock after the gorilla. STATHAM: That makes sense. Can I play it like I am a drunk with PTSD so long as it never comes back or stops me from doing anything heroic? BETTY WHITE: Do whatever you fucking want just don't make me call Diesel. His Instagram videos creep me the fuck out. Anyway! I think this is better because it gets to the shark action faster, without the nonsense science. And then the sequel can be plane-based (for June) and feature Gerald Bulter (for Jason) fighting a pterodactyl or something. Maybe a giant bird (for Nick Kroll.) I haven't decided.
  9. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 195.5 - Minisode 195.5

    I went to see the MEG. CRAZY RICH ASIANS was showing in the theater next door and I could tell who was going to which movie just by looking at them (there was one couple I wasn't sure about buy they turned out to be stragglers for MISSION IMPOSSIBLE).
  10. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 195.5 - Minisode 195.5

    Guys. The stickers on podswag! I want a whole sheet of “how’s yo dick?” and “where does the butt start?”. I feel feel like a bad fan but what is the horse tapes one from?
  11. You know who'd make an awesome Bond? Lynda Carter.
  12. Thank you! Correction: Jason calls it Terrordome not Thunderdome. Question: what would get the highest bid if Paul auctioned off his junk? Arliss the Hat, signed “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” placemat, laser discs or My Buddy?
  13. What was the "who wore it best?"
  14. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 194.5 - Minisode 194.5

    Do I want to watch this movie? I am not sure.
  15. Elektra Boogaloo

    Episode 194.5 - Minisode 194.5

    Fictions people are people too, Paul!
×