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I miss Jessica St Clair.

Doug Benson of Doug Loves Movies joins Paul, Jason and guest co-host Jessica St. Clair to discuss the 2017 science fiction film Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Recorded live at the Theatre at Ace Hotel for Pee Cast Blast ’17, they cover everything from Rihanna as Bubble, a shapeshifting alien entertainer to the movie resetting itself every 15 minutes. Subscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: http://www.earwolf.com/show/unspooled/ Check out our tour dates over at www.hdtgm.com! Check out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepubli…wdidthisgetmade Where to Find Jason, June & Paul: @PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter @Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on Twitter

In the episode they talk about how Ethan Hawk and Rhianna's business doesn't make sense if no money is exchanged at the start. See that's the only part of it that does make sense. Ethan Hawk takes Valerian's gun and sends it to the ceiling where there are a dozen or so guns yet the place is empty with no customers. Valerian tries to bring up money but Ethan Hawk tells him just enjoy the show. Put those things together and clearly they are killing or stealing from the people they dupe to coming in. That's also why as soon as Ethan Hawk is done playing the piano he starts to drink and says "I can't do this anymore" The mental and emotional toll of killing chumps is riding high on him. That makes sense. What doesn't make sense is Rhianna's show. So Bubble is an alien than can look and sound like anyone of anything. This is perfect for the adult industry. Whatever your dark dirty secret is this alien can be it. Want to hook up with an old flame? Can do. Want to sleep with your sister? Can do. Want to try a different gender or race? Check and check. That's the point of that race and why they're in that line of work. So if they can be anything and that's why you are seeking them out, how does a bunch of different costumes draw you in? I don't want to hook up with a shape shifter because it can look like a nurse and then immediately look like Liza from Cabaret. No. I want to hook up with them because who and what they can be.

At the live show this question for the panel came to me right as Paul was leaving the audience: Can you describe how you felt when you saw that the movie ends with the "To my father..."? Because for me I think I experienced an emotion that I have never felt before or since. It was like horror, embarrassment, bafflement, and thinking it was sweet all occurring at the exact same time. I stupidly re-watched this movie ahead of listening to this episode and this time it occurred to me how stupid it is when they show the planets' locations by what constellation they are in. Constellations have no meaning whatsoever for locating something in space the various stars that make up a constellation are likely thousands of light years apart from each other and that a constellation has any meaning at all depends on where you are observing it from so the stars line up to form a vague shape. Then to make it even worse they give the constellations scientific sounding names like JR24. The whole point of a constellation is it happens to look like something you can name. If our ancestors hadn't been extremely bored I don't think we'd even have the concept of a constellation today.

Freejack The discussion starts at 41:48

True, but they are were very helpful if you wanted to locate yourself on Earth, and to know where Earth was relating to the Sun, ie, the changing of the seasons. It wasn't something that came out of boredom, it actually is pretty amazing that several different cultures thousands of miles apart from each other developed similar concepts and similar ways for dealing with the same problems. . Before this movie was announced i had never heard of the OG comics, which is strange because i guess there must have been something that was innately French about them that was somehow lost in translation? I read through Asterix, Tintin, The Smurfs, Michell Vaillant, Marsupilami, Gaston ( guys, Gaston had a " pet " seagull that he brought to work with him, plus his CAT. Imagine the nightmare it must have been for his cartoon coworkers high jinks ). Valerian? I don't know her. But from what i gathered from the internets, Valerian himself wasn't an emo tween that moped his way out of an audition for Twilight ( cough cough DaneDehaan cough ), he was kinda of a stereotypical French blowhard. Which means that Pauls sugestion of Sam Rockwell would have been GREAT. The real Valerian is basically his character from Galaxy Quest, but competent. And FYI, like Doug noted, the comic is named Valerian AND Laureline, because even though she starts out as a " maiden in distress " type character ( From the middle ages? I guess time travel is possible, it's a comic ), she grows as a person and becomes Valerians equal, so Jean Lucs decision to remove her from the films title, and to pepper the film with " jokes " about women ( A wimminz drivers joke? Seriously dude ) just speaks volumes about him as a person. . I liked the " shaking hands " montage. I cringed when i heard space Oddity, how fuck!ng dare you Jean Luc, but the montage itself is actually kinda moving with the sound off. And the " running through the biospheres " montage is amazing. It's like a glimpse into all of the movies that could have been, and all we got was this lousy sh!t pearl.

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. 1h.15min.

Johnny Mnemonic? ETA: Wait! I feel like it was Freejack...

Actor Jeff Goldblum feels…truthful about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Jeff and Conan sit down to chat about mini-orgasms, spousal criticism, pinky rings, raising comic children, and speaking in jazz. Plus, producer Matt Gourley reveals the results of the latest blind drawing contest, and Conan responds to a voicemail regarding proper elocution. Original air date: Feb. 24, 2019.

Hello! I am a long life time Conan fan and freelance artist. My whole family enjoys the podcast immensely and I had the idea to make a Jeff Goldblum and Conan O’Brien Stained glass window, because every great love story deserves to be captured in Stainglass. LOL. I’d love to somehow get this picture to Conan and the podcast group. I’ll be posting it later on Instagram and tagging them all. Thank you quarantine for allowing me to have the time to put my ridiculousness into motion. I also realize it’s a little late considering the podcast with Jeff was a few months ago but you try capturing the sexual essence of Jeff in puff paint! Thanks!