Episode 85 — Animal Lovers

[strit 29]

i would be straight up fired IMMEDIATELY if anyone in my office heard this convo... i guess that goes for most of these eps though...

[strit 29]

DIFFICULT TO LISTEN TO

[justinmh05 1968]

i would be straight up fired IMMEDIATELY if anyone in my office heard this convo... i guess that goes for most of these eps though...

 

Just don't listen to the show at work. Easy fix.

[Hot - Slunch 772]

Hilarious episode from start to end. Honestly up there with the Lennon/Jessica/Mantzoukas ep, the Walsh/Roberts/Husky ep and the other top notch ones.

 

I am still trying to figure out if Gemberling's love of beastiality was a bit...

 

At no point did he say he 'loved' it, and he wasn't even really advocating it. He was just trying to explain his thoughts on it, and having seen a few videos he probably has the most experience in the subject.

 

I've honestly had the same conversation maybe 2 times in my life, and I side more with Gemberling on the subject than the other comedians.

 

1. To clarify: I have never been, nor will I ever be involved in any such act. I'm not an advocate of legalizing it, and most people who do it are no doubt 'slightly off' in the head.

 

2. I think it's much more okay when an animal is the one doing the fucking. They are put in the position to do it sure, but they're the ones doing it. Fucking an animal is way worse, because like everyone said, "how can you really know they want it?"

 

3. But then think about a farmer having a full arm, up to the shoulder inserted into a cow to artificially impregnate it. There's no way your dick is bigger than a farmer's arm. Assuming the animal is over a certain size, you really won't bother it... Even though I still think it's the worst of the two options.

 

4. Snakes, eels, and all that weird shit in Japanese porn is wrong in my opinion. None of those things are actually a part of sex, interested in having sex with some person, or getting anything out of it (other than probably death).

 

5. Then there was Gemberling's point about, "Is it really any worse than making an animal work for humans all day?" Think about it, is sucking off an ox really worse than making it plow an entire field? Or worse than a pony getting humiliated and walking in a circle at a carnival or kids' birthday party? A blowjob vs. manual labor. Which would you take?

 

 

I just went down a weird rabbit hole there...

[robinsbruce 4985]

A blowjob vs. manual labor. Which would you take?

 

 

[Kickpuncher 5012]

I just went down a weird rabbit hole there...

 

ZOOM!

[MattCameron 595]

I couldn't stop laughing at Paul Rust bringing up Tom Petty's beard falling off, no one biting on it, and then Paul immediately turning the scene around and making someone steal his beard, seemingly just to spite them for not yes anding him. That was amazing.

 

That was easily the funniest moment of this episode. I wish this had been a VPN episode just to see Matt shake his head and begrudgingly accept that was what happened at the Petty show. Great scenes throughout here. Keep it going, Matt!

[KajusX 1807]

Paul: "It's not like his BEARD fell off, did it?"

Matt: "What?"

Paul: "It's not like halfway into the first song his BEARD fell off, I mean, that didn't happen, did it?"

Matt: "No."

Paul: "Ok ok ok. It's not like-"

Matt: "You're being a real fucking asshole, Paul."

Paul: "Well I'm speculating here! I want to know!"

Matt: "I'm sitting here with a goddamn Tom Petty tattoo on my fucking chest and you're laughing and having a good time knowing that we had our concert destroyed by some selfish asshole-"

Paul: "Ok! So THAT's what happened! It's not like this hypothetical scenario of his BEARD falling off."

Matt: "No... You don't even know what happened tho."

John: "You don't know what happened."

Paul: "No I don't! I'm just trying to get details, guys!"

 

(cuts to concert)

♫ This is the last D J♫

Matt: "So what song is this? Is this a cover?"

John: "This is the- no, this is one of the, it's like 10, 15 years ago it's like one of his newer songs he came out with-"

Matt: "15 years ago? Newer?- Hey what's happening?"

Tom Petty: "HEY! THIS FUCKER'S TAKING MY BEARD, MAN!"

 

(cuts back)

Paul: "Ok, so WHAT HAPPENED?! You guys are at the concert, he's playing 'The Last DJ,' and some guy runs up and takes his BEARD? I was pretty close, between his BEARD falling off and a guy running up and taking it! You guys are assholes! The fact that I stuck my neck out there and said his BEARD fell off— which is pretty close to an audience member running up and taking his BEARD— and y-y-y-you don't even agree!"

 

Sometimes I'm compelled to transcribe portions of this show. SO funny.

[thestray 361]

Hilarious episode from start to end. Honestly up there with the Lennon/Jessica/Mantzoukas ep, the Walsh/Roberts/Husky ep and the other top notch ones.

 

 

 

At no point did he say he 'loved' it, and he wasn't even really advocating it. He was just trying to explain his thoughts on it, and having seen a few videos he probably has the most experience in the subject.

 

I've honestly had the same conversation maybe 2 times in my life, and I side more with Gemberling on the subject than the other comedians.

 

1. To clarify: I have never been, nor will I ever be involved in any such act. I'm not an advocate of legalizing it, and most people who do it are no doubt 'slightly off' in the head.

 

2. I think it's much more okay when an animal is the one doing the fucking. They are put in the position to do it sure, but they're the ones doing it. Fucking an animal is way worse, because like everyone said, "how can you really know they want it?"

 

3. But then think about a farmer having a full arm, up to the shoulder inserted into a cow to artificially impregnate it. There's no way your dick is bigger than a farmer's arm. Assuming the animal is over a certain size, you really won't bother it... Even though I still think it's the worst of the two options.

 

4. Snakes, eels, and all that weird shit in Japanese porn is wrong in my opinion. None of those things are actually a part of sex, interested in having sex with some person, or getting anything out of it (other than probably death).

 

5. Then there was Gemberling's point about, "Is it really any worse than making an animal work for humans all day?" Think about it, is sucking off an ox really worse than making it plow an entire field? Or worse than a pony getting humiliated and walking in a circle at a carnival or kids' birthday party? A blowjob vs. manual labor. Which would you take?

 

 

I just went down a weird rabbit hole there...

 

Those are good points, but I also feel like it's the kind of logic that people use when they fuck kids and stuff. Like, is it okay for some NAMBLA dude to have a relationship with an 11yr old boy if the boy is into it? I know that's very different, but it's a weird rabbit hole indeed...

[SexualNightmare 7]

There's another argument against legalized bestiality beyond the animal's consent and our own feelings of disgust: what if it trains the animal to think of humans in a sexual context? You might think that what happens in your backyard is between you and your beautiful pony, but god help us if the neighbor boy wanders over and the pony tries do his sinful business to him.

[Schach 34]

"Oh, the time that our species quits licking mommy's pussy? I guess that's the big thing we're working towards?"

 

Paul Rust is ruining my life making me laugh this hard when I have the flu.

[Corky Kneivel 113]

HAHAHA I still haven't listened to this episode yet, but i have read through this entire thread, and I'm laughing like an idiot. The shetland pony strut did me in.

[Bundi 17]

 

At no point did he say he 'loved' it, and he wasn't even really advocating it. He was just trying to explain his thoughts on it, and having seen a few videos he probably has the most experience in the subject.

 

 

I think you are correct that I did overstate it. With that said, his discussion of it did weird me out a little. He was definitely defending it in a way that made me wonder if he enjoyed beastialty himself.

[Nicolas Rage 313]

Hilarious episode from start to end. Honestly up there with the Lennon/Jessica/Mantzoukas ep, the Walsh/Roberts/Husky ep and the other top notch ones.

 

 

 

At no point did he say he 'loved' it, and he wasn't even really advocating it. He was just trying to explain his thoughts on it, and having seen a few videos he probably has the most experience in the subject.

 

I've honestly had the same conversation maybe 2 times in my life, and I side more with Gemberling on the subject than the other comedians.

 

1. To clarify: I have never been, nor will I ever be involved in any such act. I'm not an advocate of legalizing it, and most people who do it are no doubt 'slightly off' in the head.

 

2. I think it's much more okay when an animal is the one doing the fucking. They are put in the position to do it sure, but they're the ones doing it. Fucking an animal is way worse, because like everyone said, "how can you really know they want it?"

 

3. But then think about a farmer having a full arm, up to the shoulder inserted into a cow to artificially impregnate it. There's no way your dick is bigger than a farmer's arm. Assuming the animal is over a certain size, you really won't bother it... Even though I still think it's the worst of the two options.

 

4. Snakes, eels, and all that weird shit in Japanese porn is wrong in my opinion. None of those things are actually a part of sex, interested in having sex with some person, or getting anything out of it (other than probably death).

 

5. Then there was Gemberling's point about, "Is it really any worse than making an animal work for humans all day?" Think about it, is sucking off an ox really worse than making it plow an entire field? Or worse than a pony getting humiliated and walking in a circle at a carnival or kids' birthday party? A blowjob vs. manual labor. Which would you take?

 

 

I just went down a weird rabbit hole there...

"Can I kill this cow and eat it's corpse?"

 

"Sure, go ahead."

 

"But can I fuck it?"

 

"NO, what if the cow feels bad?"

 

I never really got that logic...

[Nicolas Rage 313]

Sorry, my quote button messed up...

[rachelpi 228]

I love that Walsh referenced Bedknobs and Broomsticks - underrated kids movie. One that I now realize features humans turning INTO animals (via magicks!) so that adds another wrinkle to the bestiality stuff.

[saddlebags 581]

The Maine meat joke and callbacks killed me.

[JacobCrites 4977]

This is one of the greatest podcasts I've ever heard. In fact the past four or five episodes in particular have really captured the reason why i4h is potentially the best podcast in the universe.

[jsl 36]

This really might be the funniest episode in the history of the podcast

[dnigh 11]

Is it more humane to fuck a pig or eat bacon? Think about it.

[pdxsean 241]

Loved the callbacks in the bonus episode. The lengthy discussion before the comedy kind of showed why it was cut, but the skit was hilarious and really would have fit well with the main episode.

 

Wanted to comment on that ep directly but of course the thread there is a train wreck in which I do not want to get involved.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

The Bonobos' ads have taken a turn.

[C.H.U.D. Reinhold 92]

"Where you take your main shits?"

 

Between this and the beastiality segment, this was an all time great.