Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Wien

Left Behind (2014)

Recommended Posts

You guys HAVE to do this movie, I just watched it and was laughing the entire time...it was AMAZING.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Maybe it's just my angsty music listening habits as a teen (and my nostalgia for such angsty musics), but I can't even look at this thread title without thinking of this song. I can't imagine what it'd be like sitting through the movie and a subsequent HDTGM podcast:

 

It'd be almost as bad as cast members of a hypothetical movie called 'It's Been Awhile' appearing as guests on Comedy Bang Bang.

Share this post


Link to post

Re

The only part I didn't really don't understand was the concert tickets and the daughter. "Capt Steal" yep that's his name in this film. Capt steel's daughter bought concert tickets. you would think to go on a date with her boyfriend, NOPE. She was planing to have a date with her father but she never got on the plane but her boyfriend did instead, WHAT. why was the boyfriend on the plane and not Capt steel's daughter? was the concert in some other town? Fuck this movie makes no sense.

 

 

The daughter is in town for her Dad's birthday as a surprise. But Dad is going to London for work and can't celebrate his birthday. While daughter is at the airport coming into town she runs into him leaving town and he's all sad that he has to work.

 

But then some rando guy comes up to her and says "Hey, I was able to get your Dad those U2 concert tickets for London that he asked me for last month. Can you give them to him."

 

And then she knows that her Dad doesn't really have to fly out of town at the last minute, but planned this all along to get the slutty looking flight attendant hot for him. Since he's already on the plane she gives One Tree Hill the tickets to give to her Dad, since he's on the flight.

 

What I can't explain, however, is the fact that when her little brother gets raptured along with everyone else she opens his backpack to see if he's in there. A fuck ton of people just disappeared leaving behind their clothes and you are literally opening a backpack calling your brothers name.

 

I loved this terrible movie mostly for the weird details. Like the strange beater car that slutty flight attendant drives or how the first class seats on the plane looked GIANT.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I knew I wasn't alone on this, Someday Ryan Sz there will be a Nicolas Cage hair museum. complete with wax statues and outfits from his movies. and all of the hair props from his films. This will have to be in las Vegas Nevada.

 

I am going to get my picture with his snake skin jacket from wild at heart, the dream is alive.

 

lets make it so people.

Share this post


Link to post

 

How the hell did we miss this? Nic Cage going full christian.

 

Also wasn't this literally a simpsons gag?

Share this post


Link to post

This doesn't deserve its own thread, but I thought I would post it here since it's another Christploitation movie...

 

Ever wish the kind of people who made 'Heaven is For Real' would try to make their own version of 'Crash'? Well, your shitty prayers have been answered!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

This doesn't deserve its own thread, but I thought I would post it here since it's another Christploitation movie...

 

Ever wish the kind of people who made 'Heaven is For Real' would try to make their own version of 'Crash'? Well, your shitty prayers have been answered!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogIX2Q7tEdc

Holy shit.

 

What I can't believe is the number of name actors in these movies now. Mira Sorvino, Delroy Lindo, Sean Astin are mixed among people who have fallen off the map like Cybil Shepard, who looks like she went to a plastic surgeon and said she wanted to look like Lee Majors, Brian Bosworth, and Ted McGinley, who I think took the role so he could finally have a top-billed roll.

Share this post


Link to post

This doesn't deserve its own thread, but I thought I would post it here since it's another Christploitation movie...

 

Ever wish the kind of people who made 'Heaven is For Real' would try to make their own version of 'Crash'? Well, your shitty prayers have been answered!

 

I've never seen Crash, so in my head going into that trailer I was kinda excited, and then I saw it and was like...hmm, this is nothing like that at all...then I realized I read that wrong and I was thinking about Crank.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

 

I've never seen Crash, so in my head going into that trailer I was kinda excited, and then I saw it and was like...hmm, this is nothing like that at all...then I realized I read that wrong and I was thinking about Crank.

I would love a Christainsploitation version of Crank.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

No matter how many times you crucify Christ, you can bring him back to life if you keep electricity flowing through his heart, as long as you get to him before three days have passed since he last expired.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Or some guy wakes up and his hands and feet are bleeding from gaping holes, bandaging them does nothing, he can only survive by constantly drinking consecrated communion wine to replace his blood with the blood of Christ. He has to defeat Satans emissary on Earth who is going to bulldoze the worlds oldest christmas tree or something.

 

Bonus points for him being an atheist homosexual who learns the folly of his lifestyle and changes to being a straight Christian now...replacing all his blood with jesus juice cures him of aids? Why not. He's joined by a faithful marine who got kicked out of college for punching his professor, they fight crime.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Update:

 

Left Behind II: Tribulation Force not as crazy/entertaining. Stick with part 3, which is apparently a crazy bastardization of the stuff in the Left Behind books, and basically killed the original movie series.

Share this post


Link to post

YOU WATCHED THAT? tsdcs, wow. I don't think i could make it to the end based on the trailer alone.I think I am going to stay with the nick cage version of the movie for now and hope that someday they made part 2 and 3.

 

I am really banking on Hustler's This Ain't Left behind XXX adult parity staring dick cage...

fight 69 is about to take off, the rapture has begone. and there is only one thing left to do, screw it!

 

at one point I made a poster for that movie but it got tasteless real quick.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Finally finished this flick, my wife only saw the last 30 minutes with me and even that had her going off how nothing made sense.

 

starring a bunch of people who have made terrible financial choices:

Nicolas Cage

Chad Michael Murray

Quinton Aaron

Jordin Sparks

William Ragsdale

 

At the end of the flick, one has to ask, besides the initial disasters, would the rapture really be that bad?

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

So, this is on Netflix right now, and I threw it on last night, only to fall asleep about fifteen minutes in. I did manage to see this though, one of the most fantastically bad fake family photos ever seen on film...

 

11406636_10100672599507466_8387474443194691711_n.jpg?oh=ad3efe34f9a3d89141009a97951fdaa9&oe=55FE4193

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Finally finished this flick, my wife only saw the last 30 minutes with me and even that had her going off how nothing made sense.

 

starring a bunch of people who have made terrible financial choices:

Nicolas Cage

Chad Michael Murray

Quinton Aaron

Jordin Sparks

William Ragsdale

 

At the end of the flick, one has to ask, besides the initial disasters, would the rapture really be that bad?

 

 

Add Marty McFly's mother, Lea Thompson to that list. As you can tell from the picture below she's still hot as ever.

 

So, this is on Netflix right now, and I threw it on last night, only to fall asleep about fifteen minutes in. I did manage to see this though, one of the most fantastically bad fake family photos ever seen on film...

 

11406636_10100672599507466_8387474443194691711_n.jpg?oh=ad3efe34f9a3d89141009a97951fdaa9&oe=55FE4193

 

I did watch the movie all the way through and I was rewarded a little over an hour in when Nic Cage dentifies his copilot as being a Christian because of his watch.

 

11402762_719512641510230_8129379253259162379_o.jpg

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Add Marty McFly's mother, Lea Thompson to that list. As you can tell from the picture below she's still hot as ever.

 

 

 

I did watch the movie all the way through and I was rewarded a little over an hour in when Nic Cage dentifies his copilot as being a Christian because of his watch.

 

11402762_719512641510230_8129379253259162379_o.jpg

It should have been even MORE on the nose and had the time actually be 3:16 as well. I think I made it about 15-20 minutes in. The plane looked like a set that you'd see in a sitcom, where you know with one million percent certainty that it's not a real plane. I'd seen other parts of the film during it's theatrical run at my theater, but I don't think I'm going to bother picking up where I left off.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

It should have been even MORE on the nose and had the time actually be 3:16 as well. I think I made it about 15-20 minutes in. The plane looked like a set that you'd see in a sitcom, where you know with one million percent certainty that it's not a real plane. I'd seen other parts of the film during it's theatrical run at my theater, but I don't think I'm going to bother picking up where I left off.

It's not worth the time or energy to power through it. I don't even think Cage brings his A game when it comes to wildly entertaining faces.

 

You will miss that dogs didn't get raptured... What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!!!!

Share this post


Link to post

It's not worth the time or energy to power through it. I don't even think Cage brings his A game when it comes to wildly entertaining faces.

 

You will miss that dogs didn't get raptured... What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!!!!

 

Clearly they're being punished for sinfully licking their own genitals...

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

 

Clearly they're being punished for sinfully licking their own genitals...

I'll be damned!

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×