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JulyDiaz

Episode 56 — Iliza Shlesinger, Our Close Friend

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how are you a non proversionist greggy? couldve sworn you bought it one week? maybe im crazy.

greggy did buy the pro version but he could not keep up his payments and had it repossessed and now he doesnt get to live in the pyramid for eternity

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oh shit yeah I guess i forgot it was a lifetime commitment of monthly payments. gonna be a cold winter without heat, but Im gonna have to cut some corners somewhere to maintain my status

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I pretty much live on the street now but I use every cent I've got to keep up those payments. My cat Zoe lives in a cardboard box. We sleep under a freeway overpass. We busk in bart stations on the weekends for a little cash. Overall, it's not a bad life because we have the pro version.

 

FmY0wr9.jpg

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judging by her face Zoe wants no one near her usps large flat rate box

 

either that or she is tired. could go either way

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At this point, I'm just rotating evenings between these three 24 hour laundromats. I figure as long as I'm running a load or two, the launderers have no legal basis to "evict" me. It's a $1.50 a load and that takes about an hour, so 10 hours of shelter is costing me $15 give or take a dryer cycle. Plus now my clothes are always clean and there's a gumball machine filled with M&M's right by my bed. We all have to make sacrifices, but I believe in H&S and I believe in the Pro Version.

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At this point, I'm just rotating evenings between these three 24 hour laundromats. I figure as long as I have a load or two in, the launderers have no legal basis to "evict" me. It's a $1.50 a load and that takes about an hour, so 10 hours of shelter is costing me $15 give or take a dryer cycle. Plus now my clothes are always clean and there's a gumball machine filled with M&M's right by my bed. We all have to make sacrifices, but I believe in H&S and I believe in the Pro Version.

goddamn...you truly are a king amongst men. I wish i had my shit together like that

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hello i too am new to the forums. there seems to be a lot of debate as to whether or not joining is intimidating, but i wouldn't want to weigh in on a controversial topic like that.

 

what i have learned from stalking this forum is that there seems to be a perfect balance of Joke Beasts and Story Hounds on here, which makes me wonder if this whole thing is just hayes and sean trying to teach us what it's really like to be in a tv show writer's room. this would make a lot of sense out of why two such huge actors/writers/producers/gentlemen would spend time with a bunch of people in an internet forum, because maybe it's not an internet forum after all.

 

hayes, sean, is we doing this right? is we writing a small movies?

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judging by her face Zoe wants no one near her usps large flat rate box

 

either that or she is tired. could go either way

 

She will cut you if you come near her usps large flat rate box.

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At this point, I'm just rotating evenings between these three 24 hour laundromats. I figure as long as I have a load or two in, the launderers have no legal basis to "evict" me. It's a $1.50 a load and that takes about an hour, so 10 hours of shelter is costing me $15 give or take a dryer cycle. Plus now my clothes are always clean and there's a gumball machine filled with M&M's right by my bed. We all have to make sacrifices, but I believe in H&S and I believe in the Pro Version.

wait...you have to pay for the m&ms though, right?

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She will cut you if you come near her usps large flat rate box.

at this point in my life I know better than to fuck with cats

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i def have never got a proversion

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wait...you have to pay for the m&ms though, right?

Actually, I'm allergic to the candy coating. I just like the colors...

 

Sometimes, I'll spend a couple cycles just looking at the gumball machine and imagine I'm playing a spherical version of Bejeweled. It's hard to remember where the colors are supposed to be after a couple moves, though, so I start over a lot. Once, I tried shaking it a bit to see if I could make it work like a Rubix cube, but I accidentally dropped it and the fish bowl part shattered and all the M&M's went everywhere. The daughter of the owner, Pamplona, works the overnights and she was really pissed I couldn't help her pick up the M&M's because of my allergies.

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what i have learned from stalking this forum is that there seems to be a perfect balance of Joke Beasts and Story Hounds

 

Too scary.

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I pretty much live on the street now but I use every cent I've got to keep up those payments. My cat Zoe lives in a cardboard box. We sleep under a freeway overpass. We busk in bart stations on the weekends for a little cash. Overall, it's not a bad life because we have the pro version.

 

FmY0wr9.jpg

 

thats a really fancy looking underpass. most of the ones around here are made of rigid, cold concrete and asphalt and copies of ferris bueller's day off on vhs are VERY hard to come by, so consider yourself lucky.

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Guys for Halloween I'm going to a costume party and my date is gonna dress as a cat and I'm gonna dress as a dog and we're gonna stick our butts together some times and say we're catdog! And then at the end of the night... If all goes right... Dis dawg gon fuck dat pussy KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN FELLAS!?!?

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guys, it’s me showshowbro. i changed my name to do funny joking for you guys.

 

a recent muscle reduction surgery had me neglecting my beloved boards, but I’m back to claim my place as the 6th most attractive and funny poster.

 

that is all.

 

ps.

 

if you’re at a halloween party later today, feel free to make a joke about being ‘graveyard smashed.’

 

EDIT: Hey MBOP, are you going to Jenny's party or the double-rager on McGlintock?? I'll be dressed as Theodore Hoes-Are-Felt. A young, rough-riders era, Teddy. Only this Halloween, my ween won't be hollow. And it'll be wrapped in a rough riders studded condom....

 

 

....PSYCH!!! They don't make those in double XL, atleast I don't think so...I haven't bought condoms since the 4th grade...

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Nah I'm not allowed at Jenny's parties anymore dude. You know what happened last time lol. Riley found the rawest field out in the ranches and talked to the guy said we can burn the plywood he was using to build an ark, but he had a non religious awakening and also realized plywoods not good for boats. Byob, 3 chicks to a dick policy strictly no bb guns, hats allowed, costume not mandatory hit me on the text tho cause data charges :/

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thats a really fancy looking underpass. most of the ones around here are made of rigid, cold concrete and asphalt and copies of ferris bueller's day off on vhs are VERY hard to come by, so consider yourself lucky.

 

Oh this photo is from when we were living in an abandoned Blockbuster Video. We made DVD stew and VHS sandwiches for a while until it all ran out. I used a Bull Durham poster for a blanket and got high on head cleaner. Those were some good days.

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This day needs to be over. Literally everything is too scary.

FRANKINGSTEINS!!! IT IS THE SPOOKIEST DAY OF THE YEAR!!!!

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i even changed my name back to normal so as not to scare anyone unnecessarily

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I'm at work but I'm too scared to even yell "cut" on the movie I'm directing because it reminds me of axe men :(

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what are you guys going to change your names to for Dia de los Muertos tomorrow?

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