Episode 59 — Paul Scheer, Our Close Friend

[Casaba 5942]

PVX is a virus, I'm not a pathologist but this project just fell into my lap so I'm doing the bioinformatics as an appendix to my masters. Nerd shit that isn't cool and won't get me any run-off p.

 

Theeeeeeeeeeaaaaaannnnks. That's my incredulous look. Like, "da fuq is dis shii?" I hesitate to put a real picture of my dumb face on the internets cause I don't have cool make-up like greggy.

 

P.S. totes not tough. rugged potato farming makes it seem that way tho. just a real chill dude who likes to chill and rock a mean five o clock shadow.

 

"My name is Bruce. I fuck with viruses. I pull potatahs from the earth with my bare man hands. My beanie and five o clock shadow make me look like a longshoreman. And I can chill harder than a motherfucker." <-- This will get you the run-off p.

 

But I like hearing about the nerd stuff. Good luck with your virus.

[Casaba 5942]

 

 

I've got this weirdass project going where I'm going to the hospital to get a cyst removed from my face that is making me depressed (not a bit). I'm also in my final year of college, doing graphic design, and I'm busy at that.

 

Damn Bruce, you're stealing my Irish stereotypes. The classic unshaven potato farmer look.

 

Also I'm a mug and it's torturous.

 

Is the cyst that handle in your photo? You should keep it. It looks good.

 

(For reals though, good luck with the cyst removal and with your final year of college. Put some graphic design stuff up here. I'm sure everyone would love to see your mad skills.)

[Casaba 5942]

 

2. My childhood was perfect, and also good and nice

 

 

You weren't even tickle tortured?

[chanson 9697]

 

Are they always this scary?

 

One might say they're "too scary."

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

Damn Bruce, you're stealing my Irish stereotypes. The classic unshaven potato farmer look is my own wheelhouse that I've locked myself out of, and I can see the keys through a bad window.

 

 

Half Irish, half Scottish. 100% hereditary alcoholism. Stereotypes abound.

 

Longshoreman selfie:

[honlads 8798]

(For reals though, good luck with the cyst removal and with your final year of college. Put some graphic design stuff up here. I'm sure everyone would love to see your mad skills.)

 

Thanks.

 

 

Sure.

 

Here's a poster thing I did. Stop Breathin' is a Pavement song.

 

 

Here's an illustration.

 

 

 

I won a competition with this one.

 

 

 

Here's something I did especially for this show.

 

 

Sorry for such a long post.

[Casaba 5942]

Honlads, I love pavement!! I saw the video for Cut Your Hair on 120 Minutes when I was in middle school (ok I just dated myself) and I have loved them ever since. Nice poster!

 

Beautiful work here. I think you have a bright future, kid!

 

And I thoroughly enjoyed your Sean quote from earlier today. it bussed me up. Thanks for making that.

[chanson 9697]

 

Half Irish, half Scottish. 100% hereditary alcoholism. Stereotypes abound.

 

Longshoreman selfie:

 

I used to work with longshoreman. You look way too educated and underpaid to be a longshoreman.

 

Also, when are you coming to Seattle to put that alcoholism to the test?

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

I used to work with longshoreman. You look way too educated and underpaid to be a longshoreman.

 

Also, when are you coming to Seattle to put that alcoholism to the test?

 

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, if the pass is clear next week I may be up there for some tanks gibbons festivities. How do you feel about lots of beer and smash bros on Wii U?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I'm the editor of Pissboy Magazine, so I guess you could call that a project I'm working on. I'm thinking of expanding it, and making copies to distribute to other people.

 

One Christmas in my early teens, all I wanted was a lacrosse stick, and I wouldn't shut up about how much I wanted a lacrosse stick. Christmas came, and I didn't get a ... wait, what is this? Behind the curtain is a lacrosse stick! I was over the moon, delighted and now I wouldn't shut up about how surprised and happy I was. My stepdad, who had just half-assedly propped the unwrapped lacrosse stick behind the curtain, genuinely thought that I'd known it was there all along, and that my delight and gratitude were feigned. This was weirdly heartbreaking to me and bothered me for years, but I talked about it with him eventually and it was all good.

 

I'm not putting up pictures of my family, I don't even know you people. But if you liked the childhood trauma story, I've got a dozen of them. Maybe more than a dozen.

[watchayakan 1021]

waddup waddup!

 

Those guys talking about all those reality stars made me think this was some kind of reality show show.

[chanson 9697]

 

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, if the pass is clear next week I may be up there for some tanks gibbons festivities. How do you feel about lots of beer and smash bros on Wii U?

 

1.) umm.... fucking fantastic. Duh. Is that even a question?

 

2.) You have gibbons in tanks? Is that humane?

 

3.) I think we're gonna be best friends. (I said that to make it weird [with Pete Holmes], don't worry.)

 

4.) Can we have an in-depth conversation about spearmint oil production?

[chanson 9697]

I'm not putting up pictures of my family, I don't even know you people. But if you liked the childhood trauma story, I've got a dozen of them. Maybe more than a dozen.

 

Wait until they find out who you really are and add you on Facebook. That's a shock/real thing that happened.

 

Interestingly, it's been a real joy to see every good moment in these people's adult lives. So I can't really complain.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

 

Wait until they find out who you really are and add you on Facebook. That's a shock/real thing that happened.

 

Interestingly, it's been a real joy to see every good moment in these people's adult lives. So I can't really complain.

That is terrifying! I don't even put up pictures of my family in my house, in case my friends see them. If my family visits me, I make them wear disguises. I'd never share something as special and secret as what my family looks like with someone as potentially treacherous as a friend. Much less a bunch of anonymous strangers!

[kobthatreal 5896]

Totally disagree with the boys about Kim Kardashian. I mean, I saw it and legitimately said "nomnomnom me wanna grab a spoon and eat it like 2 ginormous ice cream scoops. And you know I brought the chocolate syrup baby!" And there's nothing to be ashamed of about that. There are people starving in the world so when I see delicious food where a ladies butt should be yea I'm gonna want to eat it. Are we supposed to deny all of our cravings? You wanna live in some dystopia where we're all sippin soma and robots are watching us then go ahead. Me, I'm gonna put on my ice cream bib and eat some fucking food.

 

 

Case closed.

[kobthatreal 5896]

But I do have to say the magazine name was very confusing cause I found myself saying "did you see the paper today?" And my dog was sad because we don't gget the newspaper and he looooves newspapers he likes to dig holes and put en in dirt and then I had to explain to doggy that it's a magazine and he get sad cause I do hit him a lot with rolled up magazine and he cries.

[alargebucket 1589]

[alargebucket 1589]

1.) Post a photo of your stepmom or stepdad.

2.) Tell a traumatic story from your childhood.

3.) Share a project that you're working on (even if it's just a nugget of an idea)

1.) Just posted one on Instagram this weekend. Plz follow me @brgrho. Plz and thx. Follow 4 follow.

2.) I read this book once called Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark that traumatized the living bejesus out of me.

3.) I'm in my final year (and a half) of college and have never had a more stressful period of academic work in my life. Most of my waking hours the last two weeks have been spent on two massive mergers and acquisitions slash company turnaround projects due the Monday after Tom Hanks-giving. I wouldn't say I'm burned out over it--big fan of school, actually, but the potential for failure is strong. This forum and improv and Photoshop are the only things keeping me sane. Thank you and love you.

[Casaba 5942]

BRRII, I quit smoking cigarettes two years ago. It was my tenth attempt to quit and I think it stuck. But every once in a while I still crave a smoke. Hang in there, bud.

[showshowbro 1177]

Almost cried a double-tear when I got that sick shouty.

 

NEEDED THAT ONE.

 

Reminded me of the days of old—

 

--whence forth thine let me bang, and I did let thine bang, and my posts wrang out with tales of the banging.

 

Seriously though I’ve been slipping and I’m gonna try to step up this game and come out of retirement.

 

Things I’ve been working on:

 

I got a puppy

 

 

It’s steelhead season

 

 

And, as always, I’ve been working on my radio show which is largely improvised comedy and good garage-rock.

http://www.newtownra...ws/tiger-scout/

 

Loved the Ep.

 

Last week’s episode on writers encouraged me to dust off a for-real project I sunk some life into a while back so thanks for that.

[watchayakan 1021]

Case closed.

 

Excuse me, are you the Master Blaster? Only MB can declare case closed.

[Casaba 5942]

 

1.) Just posted one on Instagram this weekend. Plz follow me @brgrho. Plz and thx. Follow 4 follow.

2.) I read this book once called Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark that traumatized the living bejesus out of me.

3.) I'm in my final year (and a half) of college and have never had a more stressful period of academic work in my life. Most of my waking hours the last two weeks have been spent on two massive mergers and acquisitions slash company turnaround projects due the Monday after Tom Hanks-giving. I wouldn't say I'm burned out over it--big fan of school, actually, but the potential for failure is strong. This forum and improv and Photoshop are the only things keeping me sane. Thank you and love you.

 

Followed!

 

I was similarly traumatized. I read the Shining as a child and had insomnia for years afterward. TOO SCARY!

 

Are you some kind of businessman student? Good for you, brgr!

 

PS - I get your name now.

[greggy 15909]

hey good work picking the script shosho, that was the best one in the list i think

mr scheer was a top-shelf guest

[alargebucket 1589]

Are you some kind of businessman student? Good for you, brgr!

 

PS - I get your name now.

I'm not a businessman. I'm a business, ma'am. But, yes, I study Finance and Math. Those are things, right? People need those things? We'll see. I can count up the change in your purse real fast.

 

w/r/t name: It's not as weird once you get it, but leaving it without explanation is sort of half the fun. It's gonna change to trkyho or trkybrgrho on Thursday. Please get your votes in asap.

[watchayakan 1021]

Is that a chocolate lab? I sucks at identifying breeds. Here's the guy I rescued back in March:

 

http://imgur.com/cP72y2Z