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JulyDiaz

Episode 99 — A View To a Kill: LIVE

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i am working my way through some christmas movies and i was watching batman returns ... turns out Zorin survived the fall. he just changed his last name and moved to Gotham

 

The thing I don't get is, why does he keep losing, when he can see the future?

 

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CLASSIC HDTGM episode... I'm SO glad I'm not the only one growing up thinking that one alias was "Singen Smythe". When I saw it written down as "St. John" I let out an audible, "OHHHHHhhhhh.........what the fuck???"

 

A few minor omissions that came to mind:

 

In the Paris chase sequence, James Bond jumps off the bridge, on to the boat, crashes through the roof, on to the multi-tier cake that comes toppling down..... and is completely clean in the next shot. Zero cake frosting. The material in those British Spy tuxes is just really really stain resistant, I guess?

 

Also, doesn't seem like anyone's touched on the blatantly obvious cheat mechanism in the steeplechase scene, where Zorin hits the button on his riding crop to raise each wall behind him as he jumps over. I have to wonder about the backstory on that, kind of like the planning stages of the map room, as well as the henchmen who *have* to have known about it, and are just forced to endure a series of faceplants any time Zorin wants to humiliate someone in a race.

 

Lastly, did anyone think it was weird that, among Mayday's various duties at the Zorin estate, she has to man the front gate apparently?

 

Here's to hoping the writers of Archer find a way to work in the concept of a Fuck Sub.....

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Some half-corrections, omissions and/ or observations:

1.
Regarding to the sex- fight scene between Zorin and May Day -- when I was watching the movie for the first time years ago -- I thought it was a routine judo/ karate practice session that ended getting both of them aroused and excited. I mean, She did give Zorin advices, pointing t out his mistakes like a proper martial art instructor. Now I’m not so sure. I assume the scene was used to illustrate both Zorin’s skill as a fighter (that he’s capable of close-quarter combat, just not as good as May Day) and the nature of his romantic relationship with May Day. That there was a sadomasochistic tone to the relationship, and their love was rough and violent.
By the way, May Day told Zorin he needed to “Keep your guard up higher. And retain your balance.” And the final fight in Zorin’s life took place on the top of a bridge, and ended with him falling to his death. So…she was foreshadowing?
2.
I looked up “soft-shell crab” on Wikipedia, and was surprised to find that the soft-shell crab was actually not a particular species of crab, as I had previously assumed, but a culinary term for any crab that just molted its shell. And cooks and chefs in the US normally used the Atlantic blue crab for a dish that contains soft-shell crabs, while in Japan, where the dish is very popular, people use the Japanese blue crab. So if you want to make the dish, you don’t ask the fishmonger for soft-shell crabs – you will ask him if he has any blue crab. That being said, “Do you have any soft-shell crab?” is still not a very good code word. You could quite easily stumble into the world of Cold War espionage, if you don’t know a lot of seafood and crabs and is preparing to make a soft-shell crab dish for the first time (or has been asked to buy one.) The CIA probably thought, oh, surely anyone who knows about and/ or is into soft-shell crabs must know about the blue crab and all the soft-shell crab-related culinary knowledge and cannot possibly ask a question like “Do you have any soft-shell crab?”
3.
Why did Zorin only bug James Bond’s room and not put a hidden camera in as well? He was a high-tech mogul, therefore he should have known that it’s not very difficult to get around a concealed listening device. Furthermore, he had already become highly suspicious of 007, so it made no sense he’s not being extra careful with the man.

 

4.
Okay, I’m now convinced “Sin-jun” is the correct pronunciation. However, I don’t think Bond should prancing around the party with that name, simply because it sounds so unusual and therefore wound bound to attract a lot of unwanted attention. If you’re doing infiltrating and undercover work, shouldn’t you keep a low profile?
5.
When the butterfly show began, Roger Moore had a “What-the-fuck” the expression on his face, as if he, too, like us, was thinking, what the hell are they doing with these fake butterflies?

 

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Bond girl name: Felicity Foxwell

 

Also, if you want to see Roger Moore in another movie with a blimp scenario, Check out the JCVD movie "The Quest". A movie worthy of the podcast I might add.

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A View to a Kill the worst Bond movie?

 

Objectively? No. The answer will always be a tossup between On Her Majesty's Secret Service (TWO AND A HALF HOURS of watching Bond on the verge of tears) and Live and Let Die (making A View to a Kill not even the worst Roger Moore Bond movie).

 

Personally? At least the Moore movies were fun camp. I always thought a lot of the Connery ones were straight up dull. Most of them are glorified Club Med ads as he just cruises around checking in to different resorts. Goldeneye was the best one, balanced out by all the other Pierce Brosnan ones being some of the worst. And I can't get over how massively overrated the Daniel Craig ones are. They're caught in this awkward limbo between trying to be Bourne Identity serious and traditional Bond spectacle.

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Hearing that Rutger Hauer was offered the part of Zorin makes sense to me now, because when I first saw Christopher Walken's weird bleached blond hair, I thought he was meant to be a poor man's Rutger Hauer. That being said, he was the one genuinely delightful thing in this movie. I laughed out loud at the end when he was trying to snap the rope that tied his blimp to the Golden Gate by shouting, "MORE POWER!"

 

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A View to a Kill the worst Bond movie?

 

Objectively? No. The answer will always be a tossup between On Her Majesty's Secret Service (TWO AND A HALF HOURS of watching Bond on the verge of tears) and Live and Let Die (making A View to a Kill not even the worst Roger Moore Bond movie).

 

Personally? At least the Moore movies were fun camp. I always thought a lot of the Connery ones were straight up dull. Most of them are glorified Club Med ads as he just cruises around checking in to different resorts. Goldeneye was the best one, balanced out by all the other Pierce Brosnan ones being some of the worst. And I can't get over how massively overrated the Daniel Craig ones are. They're caught in this awkward limbo between trying to be Bourne Identity serious and traditional Bond spectacle.

Ouch. You listed 2 of my favorites as the worst. I do love me some GoldenEye, though. The only Connery I really found dull was Thunderball. A "climactic" fight underwater (so everyone moves at quarter-speed) AND everyone's wearing black, so I can't tell the good guys from the bad guys? Gee, thanks.

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Ouch. You listed 2 of my favorites as the worst. I do love me some GoldenEye, though. The only Connery I really found dull was Thunderball. A "climactic" fight underwater (so everyone moves at quarter-speed) AND everyone's wearing black, so I can't tell the good guys from the bad guys? Gee, thanks.

 

It's a shame, too, because Thunderball both introduced Bond's arch-villain and had the greatest theme song of any Bond movie. Here's that theme song...

 

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It's a shame, too, because Thunderball both introduced Bond's arch-villain and had the greatest theme song of any Bond movie. Here's that theme song...

 

I actually prefer this version:

 

Sure, it would make a better theme song for a late 1950s Western than a Bond movie, but there's still a WTF-factor that I can't help but enjoy.

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A lot of time was spent on the rediculiousness of the blimp but I disagree. In the Madlib that is a James Bond script, this is a great fit for the 'unique mode of transportation' blank (see underwaterjet ski in Thunderball, submarine car in You Only Live Twice, the missle fired from a submarine that converts to personal rocket ship in Never Say Never Again, and I could go on and on).

 

And there is another angle too, add henchmen in black shirts, rediculious amounts of armorment, and a cool escape pod and you get a great answer to the 'over the top location' for the evil lair. This is where he has his big plot exposition meeting with his evil partners (see horse farm in Goldfinger and the secret volcano rocket launchpad in "You Only Live Twice", best ever btw).

 

The one angle you missed that makes the blimp a poor choice is that they used it as their incredibly slow moving get away vehicle. A couple of machine gun armed Humvees or 1 helicopter with a few army guys holding handguns would pretty much make the blimp pretty useless.

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I forgot to mention the stairway that only serves as a ramp to the trapdoor for the 'silly method of killing underlings' (see trick rock that throws you into the boa constricto pond in Moonraker and the trick bridge that drops you into the piranha pool in You Only Live Twice, can you tell that this is my fav Bond flick?)

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Where do Bond villains keep hiring these hunchmen who are willing to work on super doomsday weapons? Who would willingly work on a project to start a massive earthquake that would sink a huge chunk of California coast and killing millions?

 

The most ridiculous instance was in Tomorrow Never Dies where the media mogul wants to start World War III between nuclear powers so he can...sell more newspapers? Get higher TV ratings?

 

The most believable? Goldeneye. Everyone is looking at a huge cash out for cleaning out the bank of London and erasing all trace back to them, plus it was an EMP pulse so it's not like they were vaporizing an entire city.

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Don't know who the guests were for this but they came across as complete planks/ Its been a while since I listened to this one (I only just signed up) but I remember thininig they were talking complete bobbins most of the time. Made sure I would never listen to their podcast thats for sure. I think they cited Dalton as a shit Bond at one point!

 

Anyway funny episode (well from thje regulars anyway). Weird hearing a Bond film get trashed, almost like they should be above the law!

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"That would be some kind of strange, vaudevillian...I'd watch that."

 

"Trained butterflies? I'd wager to say EVERYONE would watch that."

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Don't know who the guests were for this but they came across as complete planks/ Its been a while since I listened to this one (I only just signed up) but I remember thininig they were talking complete bobbins most of the time. Made sure I would never listen to their podcast thats for sure. I think they cited Dalton as a shit Bond at one point!

 

Anyway funny episode (well from thje regulars anyway). Weird hearing a Bond film get trashed, almost like they should be above the law!

 

do yourself a favor, swallow your pride, and just listen to one episode of superego. the james bonding podcast is also really fun. do you hate fun?

 

(probably)

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