Episode 77 — The ScuzzMan, Dom's Close Friend

[SteveH 11126]

Stick around these parts long enough and you will learn what a real mugshot looks like. (I was going to include Zsinjeh, honlads and watchayakan's avatars, which would have made this a funny smart joke, but apparently I'm "not allowed to use that file extension on this community." Bullshit.)

 

Edit: also, this is just how I look. It doesn't matter if I've just committed some crimes, or just not committed any crimes. I have what's known as "resting crime-face."

 

Edit: Here's an old pic of Hurricane Dennis, back when he was at his absolute most groomed. I think it was from Katrina evacuation times.

 

Edit: here's an old picture of me that really does look like a mug shot.

 

in this pic you look like a mix between Edward Norton and that guy from the Real World a long time ago in London that got his tongue bit off.

 

points.

[marshall mellow 1671]

Here is a picture of my D. You can totally tell he is a mischievous prankster right ?

 

[dixon 5920]

Here is a picture of my D. You can totally tell he is a mischievous prankster right ?

He looks like a good boy.

[Casaba 5942]

Spunky, lookin' good, bro! Also tell Ross and HD that they are lookin' good too.

 

MM, your D is adorable! He reminds me of Albert Finney or Brian Cox (I get these two guys mixed up all the time).

[Casaba 5942]

PS - I've seen a photo of Freja's new d and he is super cute. I'm sure she'll come back soon to show him off.

[RanRan 3242]

Marshall, your d looks so very British.

[marshall mellow 1671]

Marshall, your d looks so very British.

 

He ran a pub in England with my Mum and would hold "best bow-tie contests" fairly regularly and rigged it so he always won. I'm not kidding either. He is sort of famous for his bow-ties. I like to think he would get on well with PFT.

[Clem Dawg 896]

HandbookHeads,

 

we were thinking of letting you guys officially welcome hayes back to planet earth with another very special call-in episode tomorrow. bear in mind, i don't know who our engineer is or how to contact them. i don't know the phone number to give you, and we don't have a call screener. cody??? you in these wires??? can you read this??? make my screen blink once if you can see me...

 

hmmm... it blinked three times. wonder what that means. anyway, please get your dialing fingers ready tomorrow at 10AM PST. we wll be taking an hour of calls and the funniest/smartest/nicest one wins the pro version.

 

more info to come, i hope...

[robinsbruce 4985]

Uh, hells yes

[Clem Dawg 896]

ok. cody just made this number show up on the tv at this restaurant! 347-514-WOLF (9653)

[Joe McGurl 8358]

okay

[Casaba 5942]

I prob shouldn't call in again right? Since I already got the chance once and since I was a mess during that call?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I want Robo-Laura Hall to call in.

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

I think this is quite dangerous after Andy's questionable questions and unpure thoughts aimed at Lauren Lapkus a while back.

[bengoobers 157]

If I remember from the last call-in episode chanson has to go first to get him out of the way

[Houston 4819]

Do you accept collect calls?

[xoValeriexo 4369]

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/thats_entertainment

 

Hey guys, you should do this survey and see if you're picked to be a part of this focus group. I did it the other day and it was very fun and they'll pay you $125 if they pick you. I don't know if I should tell you what it's about beforehand, but it is comedy related and it's for a Comedy Central show. They asked me if I knew anyone else who liked the show and I was like, um, probably everyone from the forum.

 

I'm not lying. This is me. Guys, you know me. Come on, you know me! It's Veeeebbbbssss.

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

goddamn it I am in Germany with a group of my students right now. I dont know that Ill be able to tell them "hey just go walk around for awhile, Im on hold with Earwolf"

[SteveH 11126]

Are you bot?

[SteveH 11126]

Does this mean you can listen to the show live tomorrow? I remember being very confused during the first call in show when they were talking about being able to hear themselves because this is podcasts not radio

[ajzthisisdumb 857]

 

also, before I left for my trip I bought a new car. Due to this (un)fortunate grammatical error, anytime this screen comes up all I hear in my head is Sean yelling "DISTRACTIONS CAUSES ACCIDENTS"

[rod aug 5637]

https://www.surveymo...tsJUbzclg%3d%3d

 

Hey guys, you should do this survey and see if you're picked to be a part of this focus group. I did it the other day and it was very fun and they'll pay you $125 if they pick you. I don't know if I should tell you what it's about beforehand, but it is comedy related and it's for a Comedy Central show. They asked me if I knew anyone else who liked the show and I was like, um, probably everyone from the forum.

 

I'm not lying. This is me. Guys, you know me. Come on, you know me! It's Veeeebbbbssss.

I've already taken this survey I guess, so you're welcome! Check's in the mail I hope.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/thats_entertainment

 

Wait, okay...this one? Does this work?

[xoValeriexo 4369]

 

Hey, I saw one of these the other day. It was so fucking big I had no idea what kind of bug it was. But I loved him anyway.

 

Dad Pranks:

 

My dad once woke my brother and I up for school and told us we had to get to school early because our teacher needed us to bring her some supplies: a single barbie shoe, a can of cream of mushroom soup, a half-empty bag of marshmallows, and I don't know what else. We were so confused, but I definitely believed all of it.

 

My dad also wrote a note to my brother's teacher after he was absent saying he'd been abducted by aliens, but he's home now.

 

I also just came across this old post about my dad:

 

I have to type up a paper my dad wrote for a class he’s taking online. Some of the things he wrote are insane but he told my mom that he didn’t think he could write it about their relationship, so it’s kind of a fictionalized version of what he would look for in a mate and…well, you’ll see.

 

What ideal qualities would you look for in a mate?

"Physically, I prefer someone who is tall, but under six feet. Brown hair, brown eyes, physically fit, but not too excessive about fitness. Maybe golf twice a week, hot dogs and beer. It would help if she were a San Francisco 49er fan. And a doctor, so we could have plenty of money."

Do you think ideal marriages exist? Why?

"My friends, Joe and Valerie, have made marriage work as a same-sex couple for many years, even though they have very little in common. Joe is an African-American, pet grooming atheist whom I’m pretty sure is in a Fresno gang. While Valerie is a six-figure salaried tax attorney in the bay area who attends a Christian Fellowship church and volunteers time at a soup-giveaway in downtown Stockton. God bless him."

[rod aug 5637]

Yup that one worked!