Episode 78 — Listeners Again, Our Close Friends

[A Bear 1813]

 

That's an extremely silly cat, which is the best kind of cat.

She has a great name too, screw what Pardo thinks, his favorite bands are Chicago and The Eagles.

[NoahTomaszewski 2768]

FINALLY. Fucking shepherds are the cutest puppies.

 

On the topic of shepherd puppies here's an old pic of my D

 

[Freja 1290]

Also, I grew up in MA and have never in my life heard of OSJL. Why didn't they have one in my wealthy suburb?

You mean to tell me I could've gone to Tewksbury and gotten myself a pound of dry roasted peanuts for $2?

 

they have dry roasted peanuts but lately they're really trying to push chestnuts on the masses. like, moist chestnuts in ziploc baggies? if earwolf would give us a puke emoticon it would go right here: ____

 

AND

 

welcome, totesawesome! you seem fantastic, your cat is 100 percent what this forum needs rite now, and your avatar indicates you are very attractive so as sean and hayes intimated, you'll do just fine on the earwolf forums. what i need to know is if your cat's tongue is always out like that or did you catch the pic at juuust the right moment. rly hoping it's the former. thanks!

[JessicaFlaherty 70]

 

welcome, totesawesome! you seem fantastic, your cat is 100 percent what this forum needs rite now, and your avatar indicates you are very attractive so as sean and hayes intimated, you'll do just fine on the earwolf forums. what i need to know is if your cat's tongue is always out like that or did you catch the pic at juuust the right moment. rly hoping it's the former. thanks!

 

Thank you! Geez, I am blushing.

 

Well, my cats tongue is unfortunately not always hanging out in a comical fashion. If you haven't checked out the subreddit r/blep, this is the time! I have taken her picture with her tongue poking out a few times, but this was the most advanced! She's no lil bub!

[Freja 1290]

Just to be clear, you get that there's no pee in there anymore right? Or semens? It's just meat now so u don't have to worry about gross stuff. I know ur a medical pro but maybe they don't teach you about this stuff in nurse class bc ur acting very scared like a baby almost

 

your reassurance is prob false b/c i'm gonna make a wicked educated guess and assume that these meat processing plants don't delicately go through each bull penis and tenderly remove the pee and semens before throwing them all into a grinder and then drying the mush out into formed sticks for idiot yuppies like me to hold and go "ewwwwieeee hAHA" and then hand to my teething puppy to gnaw on for dear life

 

if my guess is WRONG then i feel really bad for whoever it is who has to extract all the male icky stuff from these penises but i guess if you're already working in one of these factories you've prob already had to lobotomize yourself to be able to get out of bed every morning and go to the horror show that is the meat factory

 

i hope this discussion doesn't get me banned or w/e... i feel like it's kinda scientific? sry if it's too inappropriate, i'll stop now.

[samschilling22 516]

 

So I made this at work today. You get points if you can name all the forum members featured. Sorry if I didn't get you in there! Gimme some suggestions for the next thing I should draw instead of doing work!

 

Hey can I be the little smiley face on the tittle in "life"?

[DEATHMAN 3317]

your reassurance is prob false b/c i'm gonna make a wicked educated guess and assume that these meat processing plants don't delicately go through each bull penis and tenderly remove the pee and semens before throwing them all into a grinder and then drying the mush out into formed sticks for idiot yuppies like me to hold and go "ewwwwieeee hAHA" and then hand to my teething puppy to gnaw on for dear life

Also I know from reading The Jungle that guys who work in meat processing plants also will fuck the ground beef sometimes. Thank you

[Houston 4819]

 

TotesAwesome, is your cat a Miley cool girl who only sticks tongue out for pictures?

[Proposition Phil 218]

Happy to have Hayes back. Last week was good, but Hayes is just a freaking prodigy when it comes to hosting. If he keeps working on it I'm sure he could follow the footsteps of fellow Harvard graduates like Conan O'Brien., Bill O'Reilly and Colin Jost. That is also the reason I'm worried about Sean and Hayes being on Comedy Bang Bang. I could see it turning into some kind of host-off between Scott Aukerman and Hayes and I fear what it would do the HH when Hayes would inevitably win.

[Proposition Phil 218]

Surprised to hear that Tim Trees has a boss. What kind of self respecting man has a boss?

[kittens 1288]

everyone was cool and great at chatting

there is nothing i regret more than not calling in

 

however i am not too sad as i recently bought my first frisbee

 

professional grade, glows in the dark, flies beautifully

i like to fling this frisbee in the park with my friends

[dixon 5920]

if earwolf would give us a puke emoticon it would go right here:

[huskerdenton 7]

Fox Trot!

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

TotesAwesome, that cat.... I'm speechless.

 

Thank you.

[samschilling22 516]

So guys, I recently came across a picture I never knew existed, and think it's a pretty great addition to the dad pic timeline.

The following picture is baby me, my dad, and Oliver North, one of the men behind Iran/Contra. I must be an important person.

 

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I just had a very disturbing conversation with someone (whom, until now, I trusted and thought that I knew well), in which she counted to 8 on her fingers, skipping her thumbs! As in, one two three four, switch hands, five six seven eight. What kind of twisted monster counts all fingers no thumbs!? I should add that she does have perfectly serviceable thumbs, so there's no physiological excuse.

[JacobCrites 4977]

That's OK sillylillyquee, I get that you were probably too scared to draw my face because you were worried about capturing the handsomeness. Just so you know I'm kinda one of the top dogs around here (not top 5, or even 10, but top 15 for sure) so it would be in your best interest to include me in your fan-art.

[Casaba 5942]

I just had a very disturbing conversation with someone (whom, until now, I trusted and thought that I knew well), in which she counted to 8 on her fingers, skipping her thumbs! As in, one two three four, switch hands, five six seven eight. What kind of twisted monster counts all fingers no thumbs!? I should add that she does have perfectly serviceable thumbs, so there's no physiological excuse.

 

I don't want to get too personal, but is this your wife?

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I don't want to get too personal, but is this your wife?

 

 

Yes.

 

[takehomejoke 670]

So guys, I recently came across a picture I never knew existed, and think it's a pretty great addition to the dad pic timeline.

The following picture is baby me, my dad, and Oliver North, one of the men behind Iran/Contra. I must be an important person.

 

 

Your d kind of has a Hayes look going - 70's computer engineer

 

Plus Oliver North, that's a good get

[A Bear 1813]

I just had a very disturbing conversation with someone (whom, until now, I trusted and thought that I knew well), in which she counted to 8 on her fingers, skipping her thumbs! As in, one two three four, switch hands, five six seven eight. What kind of twisted monster counts all fingers no thumbs!? I should add that she does have perfectly serviceable thumbs, so there's no physiological excuse.

 

Seriously messed up, I bet she pours the milk before the cereal too. Get her out of your life before she drags you down with her

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

I'm right there with you, bear. The conundrum is choosing among divorce, fake death & run away, or murder-suicide. If there's some fourth option that I haven't considered, I'm open to suggestions.

 

Edit: I've come up with a fourth option which has a number of advantages over the other three. I can just try to avoid situations that require counting to five, six, seven or eight for the rest of our lives. Seems like a LOT of work though.

[SteveH 11126]

option 5 would be learning to count without using fingers.

 

I'm not trying to be mean, so I apologize if that came off as a super sick burn.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

option 5 would be learning to count without using fingers.

 

I'm not trying to be mean, so I apologize if that came off as a super sick burn.

I thought of that, but who wants to walk around barefoot all the time?

[Nicolas Rage 313]

I thought of that, but who wants to walk around barefoot all the time?

 

Uh, how about a little guy called BRUCE WILLIS?