Episode 83 — Nick Kroll, Our Close Friend

[greggy 15909]

spent all day down at the river and none of the plastic bags i saw had uncle seans loot in them :c a homeless man gave me a drink from his paper bag, so i assume he found it first and the prize was booze

[Scooter McGnarly 382]

Sgt. Sean's Loot Crate sounds vaguely like a name for a hip dumpster company. Possibly the same company Mark works for pushing trash cans together. Conspiracy?

[Joe McGurl 8358]

I had 3 glasses of wine and I'm feeling like I might be the #1 handsome boy

 

Well, you're wrong, but that's okay.

[Houston 4819]

No, but I think I saw him in a bar once. I'm actually The B-52s.

 

He seems more of an agent of Widespread Panic.

[Blink 1844]

Pro version goes out to a guy with a boring internet alias

 

Suck it, guys who sat in front of a search engine for at least an hour

[thejjar 5031]

I really got screwed by not getting the pro version to impress my okcupid girl. How the heck am I supposed to get ladies without celebrity endorsements

[Game of Scones 5812]

I wanted to know if Kroll thought it was important to make a woman cum.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

I wanted to know if Kroll thought it was important to make a woman cum.

And not only that, but how important he thought it was to do so.

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

Interesting article about Podcast advertising on The Awl:

 

For the elite circle of shows with over four hundred thousand listeners—generally the iTunes Top 50—a single ad spot can net over ten thousand dollars.

 

So basically Cards Against Humanity are paying 10 Gs for our beloved Bad Boys not to read an ad. I hope the Toilet band dudes had to pay double for being stupid.

 

http://www.theawl.com/2015/05/podcasting-and-the-selling-of-public-radio?src=longreads

[Game of Scones 5812]

but its a FREE podcast! we can't post slightly negative opinions of them anywhere on these forums without getting attacked!

 

strike that article from the record!

[SteveH 11126]

hey guys-

i just wanted to apologize for last night. I had a few drinkies and came on here and said some pretty outlandish things. My memory is kind of hayzie, but I recall something about thinking I was the #1 handsome boy? SO since I'm having trouble remembering, I just want to apologize to anyone I might have offended:

• I'm not the #1 handsome boy. I checked, and I'm not even in the top 20 it turns out.
  
• I have a regular face, not a monsterface
  
• I'm not a bear, or better than a bear or any other large forest mammal who uses the internet
  
• I'm not a bozo, of basketball or otherwise
  
• I didn't win the game of scones. I do not sit on the iron scone.
  
• I'm not a kjar, which would be a better ranking, alphabetically speaking, than a jjar
  
• devscoots is a nice username. Devon Sawa is a fine actor
  
• Scooter McGnarly is not that similar to devscoots. Scoot is a pretty common part of names.
  
• Houston, we don't have a problem
  
• Mister Smart, I didn't mean to tell everyone your real name was Peter Parker
  
• AndyDickCheney- newsradio was a good show, and Haliburton is a nice and smart company
  
• greggy you're a nice clown not like that awful tim curry
  
• Chanson you don't swab the poopdeck. You're a captain and so is your dad and you're not a common deckhand.
  

I'm tired now. sorry everyone

[JacobCrites 4977]

5 pages in and I haven't seen any Handbook Classics posting, like your Anastasia Vigos, your Valerie Bryants, Your Tim Treeces, Your Andy Kneises...very disappointing. And that's coming from me.

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

5 pages in and I haven't seen any Handbook Classics posting, like your Anastasia Vigos, your Valerie Bryants, Your Tim Treeces, Your Andy Kneises...very disappointing. And that's coming from me.

 

I'm worried that, as the show seems to be adding listeners and forum members, the Classics, or Mount Rushmore of forum members have become alienated with the forum and wish to harken back to a simpler time. A time when you'd snag your shoe lace on a branch and fall and scrape your knee. A time when you'd save up all your pocket money to buy a pack of bubble G and some baseball cards and comics.

 

I truly hope the OG crew aren't trying to secretly form their own top secret forum for cool cats and devilish Ds because that would be a shame.

 

If that is the case I suggest we all humbly and without reservation resign from the forum and revert to being lurkers, enraptured by the camaraderie and repartee of the founding Mothers and Fathers.

 

I think I speak on behalf of everyone (Except maybe SteveH) when I say "We're sorry and we love you all. Especially you. You know who you are. We love you the most. You're damn special. And have you been working out? You're looking great. And sexy."

[Game of Scones 5812]

ew, wrong,

 

I'm a classic.

[greggy 15909]

5 pages in and I haven't seen any Handbook Classics posting, like your Anastasia Vigos, your Valerie Bryants, Your Tim Treeces, Your Andy Kneises...very disappointing. And that's coming from me.

wow jacob c

[RanRan 3242]

Really good episode and great foruming so far as well, I don't care what Jacob C says about greggy, Bozos, Chanson & co.

[JacobCrites 4977]

WHOA let me back up. I in no way meant to downplay the greatness of the classics that we do have. i love you all very much and feel like a real POS (person of shame) right now. Greggy, Chanson, RanRan, Bozos, Joe McGurl, CORPSEFUCKER and co: I am very sorry. I don't expect you to believe me but meant to write 'many' not 'any' but I don't want to go back and edit it and seem like a sneaky weirdo.

please write a lot of mean things about me and maybe even report the post so i get banned. I would deserve it.

[takehomejoke 670]

Update for everyone: I have forgiven Ellie Kemper for that episode. I listened again and it's really good. She still could have played along more with the improv but I've given my approval to the ep. Congrats, Ellie, you're back in.

[JacobCrites 4977]

Update for everyone: I have forgiven Ellie Kemper for that episode. I listened again and it's really good. She still could have played along more with the improv but I've given my approval to the ep. Congrats, Ellie, you're back in.

I think by the time they get to the part where they're pitching projects to her she kind of 'gets' the show and plays along better, but I agree with Freja's (?) post that she came across like 'Um...ew you guys are weird' for most of it.

[SteveH 11126]

 

I'm worried that, as the show seems to be adding listeners and forum members, the Classics, or Mount Rushmore of forum members have become alienated with the forum and wish to harken back to a simpler time. A time when you'd snag your shoe lace on a branch and fall and scrape your knee. A time when you'd save up all your pocket money to buy a pack of bubble G and some baseball cards and comics.

 

I truly hope the OG crew aren't trying to secretly form their own top secret forum for cool cats and devilish Ds because that would be a shame.

 

If that is the case I suggest we all humbly and without reservation resign from the forum and revert to being lurkers, enraptured by the camaraderie and repartee of the founding Mothers and Fathers.

 

I think I speak on behalf of everyone (Except maybe SteveH) when I say "We're sorry and we love you all. Especially you. You know who you are. We love you the most. You're damn special. And have you been working out? You're looking great. And sexy."

 

thats right. No one speaks for me. If they're trying to form some atlas shrugged Galt's Gulch situation, go ahead. I'm a man of the people and I'll stay right here even if they do take all of the industry and infrastructure with them because they're rich and smart and work hard and we're just a bunch of moochers looking for handouts because we're not rich and handsome and not really selfish

 

edit: just saw Jacob's post. Jacob, I hope you do get stolen by a mean crab and he teaches you a lesson by ripping your legs off and putting old bay seasoning and butter all over them.

[JMonsterface 1974]

Hey, I'm just glad I'm in the "co". I guess it was actually me who shrugged after all!

 

Also, while I did not read that book, Galt's Gulch sounds like a great place for a child's birthday party! "Come on down!!"

[Joe McGurl 8358]

please write a lot of mean things about me and maybe even report the post so i get banned. I would deserve it.

 

More like Jacob "F" cause that's the grade you get this week!

[marshall mellow 1671]

 

More like Jacob "F" cause that's the grade you get this week!

 

More like Jacob C "U Later" cause you done messed up boy !

[Game of Scones 5812]

where's chandlerbing.com

 

 

or whatever the fuck his name is

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

More like Jacob C-is-for-Corn-on-the-Cob, because boy isn't that a nice thing to have in the summertime!

 

By the way, I also haven't been posting, and the only person who even missed me is my internet son JMonsterface. Speaking of which, I don't care how many of your friends are going, no internet son of mine is going to spend the summer at some sissy dance academy! Boys shouldn't do dancing, it's in the bible. Yeah, go ahead and run off to your room, I was going to send you there anyway. And DON'T SLAM THE....shit. Why did I even have internet kids.