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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 92 — Fans, Our Close Fans

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Have u guys noticed the trivago spokesman has been really smug and full of himself in the latest ads?

 

Fuck that guy

people thought he was too smug and creepy for years and they workshopped him and came back with these new ads

 

i wish i were joking

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i can't believe we have already reached almost as many posts as the erin whitey thread.

 

you guys are sexist

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6a72d64f-5676-4aac-8c0a-29461bc1212f.jpeg

^

*stands up and starts slow clap, leading to thunderous standing ovation from entire forum*

 

(Prob gonna have nightmares tho)

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Aregular? Hmmmm.

 

More like a regular Chanson.

 

I'm glad somebody else caught this. What the fuck is going on here? There's only room for one regular in this forums, and I don't care if you start it with "a" because the word "regular" is still in the fucking name!

 

I mean Jesus SteveH Christ, do you have NO respect for originality??

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Also Trivago guy is a dilf or I don't even know if he has kids but I'm into it either way so let him be smug

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I'm glad somebody else caught this. What the fuck is going on here? There's only room for one regular in this forums, and I don't care if you start it with "a" because the word "regular" is still in the fucking name!

 

I mean Jesus SteveH Christ, do you have NO respect for originality??

It's funny because your name has chanson in it.

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I love fruits and all of them are good. Ruby red grapefruits, blueberries, so good. Limes, man everything is better with limes. Drinks, foods, you name it. I could write you a thesis about how good a paw-paw is. It's one of the best natural sources of potassium and it is also one of the only native north american fruits. Trouble is, it's fly-pollinated and so it is hard to have industrial farm scale production of pawpaws because flies are very inefficient pollinators. Pineapple? Funny you should ask. Yes, it DOES make my semen taste delicious. But the best fruit of all, which you will never get to try unless you live on the Gulf Coast, or in Japan or New Zealand, is the god-damned satsuma. Satsumas are the best thing about living in Louisiana, and this is coming from someone who loves alligators, mosquitoes and corruption. I'm going to take a break now, but don't be surprised if I come back at you with more strong opinions about fruits. Whoever asked this question, good job!

 

Edit: No, you are the one who's been drinkgng too much. Also it's my birthday go fuck yourself.

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Well, Sean and Hayes, you got a popular show.

 

Enjoy your 12 pages of forum posts for one day.

 

This is what you get for canceling the Reality SHOW show.

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I'm going to Howard's thing in Cambridge then a show in Somerville the same night 0_0.

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Why is everyone either from Boston or Australia on this forum

yeah. or from fucking New Jersey.

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94ad5435-df8c-46de-a716-df4f06c963fa.jpeg

HEY GUY!? COULD YOU STOP PUTTING DMT INTO THE FORUM THERE BUD!? IT'S ALREADY A LITTLE BIT FUCKED IN HERE AS IS OKAY???? MY TENDENCY TO HALLUCINATE AS A NORMAL COURSE OF THINGS THANKS YOU!

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Checking the forum at the bar like a guy who isn't going to pee on a church by himself after this.

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You need to add some sort of "I'm being sincere and expect sincere replies" sort of tag

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Oh, um, you're fucking dead to me if you don't respond with sincerity.

 

 

Thanks, Blink.

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I dated a girl who was allergic to latex. Raw-dogging it was great, but she (understandably) did not want to risk having a baby while in college, so we used K-Y "Yours + Mine" lube to try and fend off the allergic reaction. It worked okay, but, for some reason or another, the chemical reaction intensified late one night in my apartment. She told me it was like being stabbed with a lava-dong, and she ran to the bathroom to try and wash out the heat/pain.

 

Another time it did nothing to stave off the allergic reaction, and her ladyparts reacted extremely unfavorably.

 

"Uh, I might be doing this wrong, but I can't find the hole"

 

"Just fucking let me do it...Oh...Oh no...OH FUCK"

 

Her vagina had sealed shut.

 

Speaking of posts you'll regret in the morning...

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Years back, I noticed a girlfriend had a small little divot about an inch from her BH (Butt Hole). I asked her about it and she said that four years prior in high school a classmate had stood up a pencil on her seat and she sat down on it. Gave her a little cut and that must have been the scar.

 

Fast forward a year from that point and she starts to get a lump an inch or two away from the scar. Over the period of about two months, the lump grew to the size of a marble and the tissue under the skin had swollen to the point where the lump broke through almost like an open wound.

 

In an act of love I had tended to her BCW (Butt Crack Wound) twice a day with peroxide, Neosporin, and fresh band aids. Oozing a little puss here and there.

 

One day I pull off the bandaid and sticking out of the wound was the tip of the pencil. I pulled it out and I was a hero. Her body pushed it out after four years.

 

She got a nose job a few months later and canned my ass as she was clearly on to bigger and better things. Emphasis on BIGGER, as in big huge dragging on the ground while you walk if you don't tuck it into your sock ding dongers. I'm talking dongs so big that they have calluses on the head from all the sweet 'tang that they plow through.

 

This all happened like ten years ago so it doesn't even bother me anymore. Once I found HH (Hollywood Handbook) my life turned around. Sometimes I really think that HH found me instead.

 

 

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Dale Earnhardt's theme The Intimidator

^

*crip walks into oncoming traffic*

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I like that this request for awful things from your lives turned into let's embarrass our girlfriends.

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