EPISODE 92 — Fans, Our Close Fans

[souprman 10477]

*pukes*

so real.

[Rose_Cream 1246]

Here's a real life true story.

 

I was in a very crowded elevator this weekend so I look at my buddy and say "so you hear about this serial podcast?"

 

A dumb person said "oooooooh yes yes" so I made everyone in the elevator go around and say they're favorite podcast.

 

Then the door opened and I said "you guys are the biggest dip shits I ever met- listen to Hollywood Handbook"

[Houston 4819]

The Office Saga... Continued

 

[Lights flickered by. He could not tell if the world was frozen in time or sped up like a dream sequence in a hip indie flick. Hanson’s Mmmmmbop wouldn’t leave his head only confusing matters further.Then Dwight heard it. A slow, zzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiip. Turning, he saw Jim.]

 

Jim: Hey Dwight.

 

Dwight: (mustering all the courage he could find) Jim. (he straightened his tie) I didn’t expect to see you.

 

Jim: Is that because you killed me and sexed my freshly dead body?

 

Dwight: More or less. Yes. Also, it was twice.

 

Jim: Good to know. We’ll we know what time it is, don’t we Dwight?

 

Dwight: Jim, please I can expla

 

Jim: ENOUGH! Enough Dwight. You had your fun. Now it’s my turn.

 

[Dwight saw Jim pull something out of a backpack and felt a sharp sting on his neck and briefly saw the end of a tranquilizer dart before his world went dark. He awoke to find his hands hogtied to his feet. He could breath, but something was in his mouth. He nose was plugged or else he would’ve smelled it. The room reeked of fruit punch. As his eyes struggled to adjust to his surrounds. Everything was tinted in a reddish hue. He heard voices, but they were muffled. He could see shapes, but everything was blurred. The voices were getting closer. He could hear them.]

 

Female Voice: Is he dead?

 

Male Voice: No, it was just a tranquilizer dart.

 

Female Voice: For what? Where the hell did you get a dart gun?

 

Male Voice: Dwight’s desk.

 

Female Voice: Were did you get the drugs?

 

Male Voice: Meredith’s desk. She’s got everything.

 

[Dwight was regaining clarity and realized he was encased in something. He struggled against the rope.]

 

Female Voice: He’s awake.

 

Male Voice: Huh. Should’ve used more of the red pills.

 

[Dwight felt a firm hand grasp his hair and yank. He tumbled to the floor as red slime. He spat the snorkel out of his mouth.]

 

Dwight: JELL-O! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!

 

Jim: GOTTCHA!

 

[Pam kicked Dwight sharply in the ribs]

[BrettMorris 1862]

 

 

http://www.ticketweb.com/t3/sale/SaleEventDetail?dispatch=loadSelectionData&eventId=6001165

I hate to say it, but I won't be there. But you should absolutely go anyway.

[Blink 1844]

I once farted on someone, fanning it towards them with an unfolded box from twenty feet away. When it hit their face they ran to the bathroom and vomited all over the toilet. I had been trying to achieve that the better part of a shift.

 

There's yer fuckin' uplifting story, Kevin.

[mikebonetti 3718]

please check out my band scattered suns.

 

NOTICE: This domain name expired on 7/5/2015 and is pending renewal or deletion.

[Witty Llama 283]

I was in a commercial for Big R when I was 12. It was Christmastime, and I - along with my family - played carolers. In the commercial, we (the carolers) went to a house and sang "Oh Christmas Tree" but without any "r"s ("Oh Chistmas tee oh Chistmas tee how lovely ah thy banches"). The woman whose house we were caroling at was then supposed to say, "Me-y Chistmas eve-y-body!" But she kept messing up her line and saying it like Elmer Fudd ("Mewwy Chwistmas evewybody"). We all got extremely irritated by her. At the end of the commercial, a narrator said, "Isn't life hard without any 'r's? Big R."

 

I made $50 doing that commercial.

[rod aug 5637]

I hate to say it, but I won't be there. But you should absolutely go anyway.

shit, you aren't going to be there? anyone know a place that burns unwanted tickets?

 

nah just playin man just having a bit of fun don't mind me i'll still go hahahah

[KevinEla 175]

This city is afraid of me...I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "whatup whatup"

[KevinEla 175]

I hate to say it, but I won't be there. But you should absolutely go anyway.

 

not going

[KevinEla 175]

ooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm so steamed

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Nice attempts, Aregular. Don't worry, you'll get there.

[SimonCameron 114]

I made $50 doing that commercial.

 

I was paid $50 to review the first Harry Potter movie when it came out, because I was by far the biggest Harry Potter fan that my neighbour (a journalist at the local paper) knew. I had read the first book more than a hundred times because I was a fast reader and somewhat obsessive. Needless to say, this made balancing my many friends even more difficult.

[rod aug 5637]

This city is afraid of me...I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "whatup whatup"

THIS

[kobthatreal 5896]

HEY ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO TYLERS TRIPLE KEGGER IN OLD RICKS FIELD?

[BrettMorris 1862]

 

NOTICE: This domain name expired on 7/5/2015 and is pending renewal or deletion.

 

that's our single

[nohorseman 5423]

HEY ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO TYLERS TRIPLE KEGGER IN OLD RICKS FIELD?

fuck dude can I tell mom I'm staying over at your house? Can your big sis pretend to be your mom or somethin? Cause you know she'll call bro

[greggy 15909]

nah i cant but i told my son he could go, i give him permission to drink so dont be a dildo about it please

[Joe McGurl 8358]

Not reading any of this shit you guys posted tbh but I'm sure Greggy has some great posts so I'll say good job to him and fuck everyone else

[Houston 4819]

HEY ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO TYLERS TRIPLE KEGGER IN OLD RICKS FIELD?

 

SHHHHHEEEET. DAMN COWS GET OUT 'GAIN. NEED TO ROUND THEM UP FIRST. THEN I'LL BE THERE FASTER THAN A RUNNY SHIT CAN FILL YOUR SOCK. I'LL BRING MY LATEST BATCH OF SHINE TOO.

[Spunky Foonerism 8561]

HEY ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO TYLERS TRIPLE KEGGER IN OLD RICKS FIELD?

 

Oh shit man, you know I want to. I'm just worried because I haven't really talked to Valerie since that rainbow party on Chanson's dad's boat. She's so cool and I like her so much, but I just think it might get weird after what happened. (Don't tell her I said this but it was super funny how she lost to Bruce!) I guess I gotta man up and go. I have to anyway, I signed up to bring the paper napkins.

[souprman 10477]

Not reading any of this shit you guys posted tbh but I'm sure Greggy has some great posts so I'll say good job to him and fuck everyone else

great 700th post babe.

[Casaba 5942]

DAAAAMN! Tyler didn't invite me! He's been mad at me since Gina told him that I was kissing Cooper behind the gym, but I told him I wasn't kissing Cooper. I just gave him an HJ to make him feel better cuz his mom died. But Tyler was still pissed and broke up with me in front of everyone at the Piggly Wiggly. It was so embarrassing. Anyway, yeah, I'm going.

[kobthatreal 5896]

Bring that shine baby! We r gonna get straight blasted. Its Indian Cheifs(420smokerbroz) and NavaHOs(bitchez) themed so i guess we can use Spunkys paper napkins as out TP hahaha im already fuckin drunk les just go there now!

 

 

STAZ u know TYLER is my DAWG so if anyone can convince him to allow ur fine tetas out there its me! I got this babe just treat me right hahaa

[dixon 5920]