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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 115.5 — Minisode 115.5

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This is the 2nd live episode with a dog being thrown into the water

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I'm normally very June-like when it comes to animal violence. I don't handle it well, particularly when it's dogs.

Yeah, I have a hard time with animal violence too, but here I am, liking all these GIFs of dogs being thrown into bodies of water.

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I have such a long laundry list of things I want to talk about, but I want to hear what they cover in the episode first.

 

The main thing I hope they talk about is how thoroughly unlikable Chuck Norris is in this movie. Turner & Hooch is definitely the archetype of this genre (and this movie came out six years after T&H), and this movie does everything wrong character-wise that that movie did right. I mean, having an affable lead definitely helped T&H, but Norris is just such an asshole, even his pseudo-redemption scenes with the dog fell flat.

 

The other big thing is that this is quite possibly the worst police department ever. They know these Nazis are planning something huge and literally none of them go, "Huh, I wonder if it will be this giant-ass diversity appreciation festival the city has planned" until the very last minute.

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Okay, I just started watching this movie and my mind is already blown.

 

Just off hand, I noticed the movie was directed and story by Aaron Norris. Is he Chuck Norris's son?

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The other big thing is that this is quite possibly the worst police department ever. They know these Nazis are planning something huge and literally none of them go, "Huh, I wonder if it will be this giant-ass diversity appreciation festival the city has planned" until the very last minute.

 

Which is, oddly enough, scheduled on Hitler's birthday...

 

Also, and it's probably just me, but did anyone else feel like this movie existed in the same universe as Cobra? It's nothing I can put my finger on, but that's literally all I could think about while watching it. I just kept expecting Stallone to show up, sunglasses a-blazin,' to offer his tips on eating a healthier diet.

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Just off hand, I noticed the movie was directed and story by Aaron Norris. Is he Chuck Norris's son?

Close. Little brother.

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Which is, oddly enough, scheduled on Hitler's birthday...

Well, as someone else pointed out, only Norris' mom seems to know that it's on April 20, even though "it's in all the history books!"

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Close. Little brother.

Wow. I wonder if this is some sort of revenge for fights they had when they were younger.

I'm only 30 minutes in and I think this is one of the best worst ones they've picked.

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While bad comedies are generally no fun, the exception to that seems to be kids movies. There's always that extra factor of "you thought kids would respond to this?" or "you thought that this was appropriate for children?" factor that other bad comedies don't have.

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Wow. I wonder if this is some sort of revenge for fights they had when they were younger.

I'm only 30 minutes in and I think this is one of the best worst ones they've picked.

 

Yeah, it's pretty amazing, although I have to admit it took me three sittings to get through it. I kept running out of time due to every five minutes having to rewind to see if I had missed some plot point that led them to wherever they happened the be in the movie...Oh, there wasn't. Okay, great. Moving on.

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the trailer sounded out of control. Just SAW it and I don't know what the fuck to think. Biggest thing that surprised me was that this was made in 1995?!?!

 

Also Ron Swanson wrote this movie. But under the very cunning alias of Ron Sŵanson.

 

Or are we suppose to believe that this Ron Sŵanson is A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON? A likely story.

 

tumblr_nsl7wgeBRX1qbswx9o1_540.jpg

 

Funny, I'm watching this on Encore right now and I noticed that the font was different. This version appears to be the shorter one. Well I am already paying a shit ton for these movie channels and am not going to shell out $4 for a few extra minutes of a bad movie.

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I'm normally very June-like when it comes to animal violence. I don't handle it well, particularly when it's dogs. That said, I lost my shit when they threw the dog overboard. It so cartoonish that it's hilarious. It looks so much like the scene in Anchorman where Jack Black punts Baxter off the bridge.

 

jack-black-kick-baxter-anchorman.gif

 

That is EXACTLY what I thought of. I've got a weird thing where I find shots of obvious dummies falling off a cliff/falling in general to be "I can't breathe" levels of funny.

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f57cef9563a822810aebf66435c6f675.gif

 

 

Just had to stifle hysterical laughter at work...so thank you.

 

Whenever I get stressed now I'm going to look at this gif.

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While bad comedies are generally no fun, the exception to that seems to be kids movies. There's always that extra factor of "you thought kids would respond to this?" or "you thought that this was appropriate for children?" factor that other bad comedies don't have.

Exactly. This is a good point.

There is a difference between making something kid friendly but enjoyable to all like say a Pixar film apposed to making something and marketing it solely for kids. Like this movie clearly is not for Chuck Norris fans, but it's got some themes which are not great for kids, so who is it for exactly? Dads trying to bond with their kids? Neither of them will leave happy.

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I really really wish that there was footage of the foley artist recording the sounds for the dog.

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I really really wish that there was footage of the foley artist recording the sounds for the dog.

According to the credits the versatile voice actor Frank Welker is credited with dog sounds.

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According to the credits the versatile voice actor Frank Welker is credited with dog sounds.

He's the real HDTGM All-Star. If you guys remember the dude that mentioned the voices of Tokka and Rahzar in TMNT 2 live episode and then listed off all the other HDTGM movies he'd been in (e.g., the parrot noises in Deep Blue Sea and the dog in Hudson Hawk), all of those were also Frank Welker.

 

How can we get Welker on an episode?

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He's the real HDTGM All-Star. If you guys remember the dude that mentioned the voices of Tokka and Rahzar in TMNT 2 live episode and then listed off all the other HDTGM movies he'd been in (e.g., the parrot noises in Deep Blue Sea and the dog in Hudson Hawk), all of those were also Frank Welker.

 

How can we get Welker on an episode?

It would be hard I think. I heard Robert Paulson (Pinky from Pinky and the Brain, as well as the original Rapheal) once say that he's tried for years to get him to do a podcast episode with him and he wouldn't do it, and John DiMaggio couldn't even get him to be in his voice actor documentary that he made. He apparently is just kinda a shy guy that doesn't seek the limelight and just wants to play golf.

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Wow, this guy has done a lot of iconic voice work. Maybe the problem is that he is constantly making noises and mixed super loud so it's really off putting.

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The thing that struck me from the moment I saw the trailer, was how much the dog does not look like a police dog. I don't want to be dog-racist but I usually picture German Shepard (the Nazis of dogs?) type dogs as police dog. This one looks like the Shaggy Dog. So I had to look it up. And it turns out Betty, the dog that played Reno (Reno is a girl, you guys!) is a breed called a Briard. IDK, I'm not into dog breeds, just dog cuteness levels. (We're in a post-breed society, you guys.)

 

Anyway, this kind of dog CAN be used as a police dog but I read a site that says most departments don't use them because their hair is too long and take a lot of grooming.

 

This made me really want a scene of Chuck Norris just sitting and

.
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My recommendation for "Annihilation" is based PURELY on it being a complete failure as a film or anything that might possibly be confused with any form of storytelling.

I think knowing the mythology behind it all is what makes it double down in the insanity for me, because they literally had a template for a decent Martial Arts movie, they said "Nah, fuck that shit!" and made a movie that would have been bad for Syfy standards.

 

I love LOVE that this thread got sidetracked by the power of "Mortal Kombat Annihilation" I was a young kid and I never saw the first M.K. movie back in the day but I remember that I went to the video store rented "Annihilation" watched it and loved it lol ( I was very impressed with Cyrax back then. Not anything specific about him just the mere fact that they put him in the movie was the foundation for me liking the whole thing ). I recently watched the first one for the first time and re-watched "Annihilation" and it was an eye opening experience because I was constantly asking myself "How could I honestly like this when I was 12 years old?" and "Was/Is something wrong with me?"

 

I will also elaborate and share my notes on "Annihilation" if the gang ever dives into it and I also want/hope they bring Cameron Esposito back for when they do but... Before I go I want to leave you with what I think (I.M.H.O.) was the funniest line of dialogue from the movie...

 

The gang goes through a portal and arrive at Outworld and after they come out Jax Briggs says:

"My skin is burning, but I'm freezing inside. Feels like I got microwaved."

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Or, when Shao Kahn's Extermination Squad drops from the sky, Jax busts out this one:

 

"They don't even use parachutes!"

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And when they threw the dog into the water...almost had to pause I was laughing so hard.

 

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People who record stuff by holding their phone at their tv deserve a punch in the face.

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