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EPISODE 116 — Top Dog: LIVE!

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In the first ever bootleg edition of How Did This Get Made, Paul, June, and Jason discuss the most shocking and disturbing look at the white supremacy movement ever made: Chuck Norris’ Top Dog. Recorded LIVE from The House of Blues in San Diego, they’ll cover how it is on record a movie made for children, Jason’s thoughts on the clown attack on Chuck Norris, every hit, kick, punch, and crash having the same sound effect, and June’s claim that Chuck Norris’ dad is identical to her grandfather.

 

People of the internet: A while ago, Paul and Rob Huebel did a comedy special on a 60 foot glass bus that traveled around LA and now you’ll be able to see it. Go to www.crashtestshow.com now to buy it! Also, check out June in Grace and Frankie available on Netflix, Paul in Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp on Netflix, all the episodes of NTSF:SD:SUV:: on HULU for free, ScheeRL on YouTube here:

, and Jason in The Dictator (he’s still in it!).

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I never know when this podcast comes out anymore.

 

Who cares? All that matters is that it keeps coming out.

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My Omissions for the next mini-ep...

 

* In the scene were the dog eats the chicken Chuck picks up the phone and police lady calls and says (via ADR) that she will come over to see the dog in a couple of minutes... Approximately a minute and forty seconds later she is outside the door... What!!!! Where was she calling from??? The wall to her back seemed like she was in her office back at the police station... Are you trying to tell me that she walked from the police station to Chuck's house in less than 2 minutes? And if that is the case then why does Chuck need to take his car with the dog and drive to work everyday?

 

* In this movie when you shoot at a cars hood or windshield nothing happens (Maybe that clown car has bulletproof windshields) but if you shoot it in the back or the trunk it explodes instantly...

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Jason's idea of a cop dying and then their soul transferring into a dog WAS ACTUALLY MADE! It was a failed tv pilot called Poochinski, starring Peter Boyle as cop killed in the line of duty whose soul transfers into his pet bulldog.

 

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Who is the intern that caught the mistake and started recording on his phone? That woman or man deserves a raise. Or a reward. Or something.

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I've got a theory about the "wetback" joke. I think you guys may be approaching it too literally. The joke isn't about how Mexicans are easier to kill than other nationalities. Rather, it's about how Mexicans have so little value that the only worthwhile thing about them is that they can be killed, and the "joke" is that mortality isn't unique to Mexicans. A clearer wording might have been: "What's the only good thing about wetbacks? They're mortal and you can kill them with bullets."

 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

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Guys, what if the mom thought Chuck Norris didn't know enough about history, so she orchestrated the entire terrorist plot just to make him learn about Hitler?

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So what is the exact wording of the wetback thing? Because when Paul corrected himself for it to be "two with one bullet" I immediately thought that the implication was due to the stereotype of Mexicans riding like 8 deep in a single truck.

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Who cares? All that matters is that it keeps coming out.

I don't really care. I just like watching the movies before the episode comes out.

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Another fantastic episode, guys! The audio wasn't too bad, I'm really glad you guys decided to put it out as is.

 

So the movie starts with two characters discussing the setup for the movie--two characters, and I can’t stress this enough, that play no further role in the movie! They are simply described in closed captioning as MAN 1 and MAN 2. Why can’t at least one of the men be Jake, or if that doesn’t work because his Norris’ character HAS to be on suspension, why not the captain and the grandfather?

 

Anyway, as they are going through their expository slide show, MAN 1 says that the criminals were using C4, which he describes as “scary stuff,” but not as scary as the timer, which he says is a type where you would need to hit the button and then run for your life. This is telling me that that the bomb has to possess at least one of these three aspects: an extremely short timer, it can’t be disarmed easily, and/or it can’t be activated remotely. Yet, in the climax of the film, we find out that not a single one of these scenarios are true: Jake has ample time to not only defuse the bomb, but trade wisecracks with the captain; the bomb is your standard red wire/blue wire setup, which shouldn’t be too hard to disarm if you know what you’re looking at; and it can be activated via a remote control. Why the big show about the timer, movie? How is mis-describing how the timer actually works heightening the tension in any way? Why can’t the C4 just be the scary part?

 

This movie straight up lied to us and deserves to be pistol whipped in the crotch with Chekov’s Gun.

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I think everyone missed an important issue. Norris' mom is having a stroke in the tree planting scene. She just randomly begins spouting facts about hitler (and says he was "probably" one of the biggest racist ever? I'd go ahead and say definitely). She needs to be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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I don't mind if they switch up the release schedule so long as there is a weekend between the mini and the full episode, as was the case with this one.

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What is immune to bullets?

A Candelas Guitar, traditionally played by a Mariachis.

Who are typically in a Mariachi band... hispanics.

Hmm... Seems like the hispanics have found an answer to any racists trying to kill them.

 

 

- Pete Scudese (This time around... I not even gonna try and help Paul pronouce my last name. Ha.)

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For all that target practice the supremacists went through, they truly do suck at killing people in situation.

 

Also before the final scene, the film has already show people get shot (again... a kid's movie.) So how are there no innocent bystanders murdered?

 

- Pete Scudese

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Why would the supremacists set the car bomb set for 6 minutes? I mean if you are going to set it for a long period of time, why not 5 minutes. And most importantly, why not set it simply for :10 seconds?

 

Also I love that we establish the limo's windows are bullet proof, by just having a SWAT team member smash the but of his gun against. "Hey Buddy... Maybe try shooting it with your gun to see if the window is truly bullet proof!"

 

- Pete Scudese

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Have to love the flow of this kid's movie...

 

Reno takes out a bad guy in a very comical fashion when he releases a huge wooden crate. Even though the crate falls from a great height, rather then crushing him the lackey, he goes through the bottom and does the stereotypical rolling of his head and passes out.

 

Next scene...

 

Tight shot of the two assassinated cops in their car.

 

What?!

 

- Pete Scudese

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First time Matthew (the pointless kid) meets Chuck, he inquires, "How's the 187 you are suppose to be working on?"

 

What? Besides the kid knowing police codes, he is referencing the MURDER of his beloved grandfather. There is no remorse shown and yet the next time we see the kid, he is balling his eyes out on Chuck's lawn.

 

The kid is straight up bi-polar!

 

- Pete Scudese

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I disagree with Paul that the grandfather should be considered the best cop in the film's world.

 

1. In typical HDTGM fashion, the detective arrives at random emergency and decides to help out. I thought they were setting him up to be some type of arson investigator; but he's not.

 

2. There is no way a good cop would drive around with a decent size hole in their chain link partition. This is of course how Reno is able to steal his red scarf.

 

3. When tailing the two arsonists, he tracks them to a shipping dock. Assuming he's driving at a very slow pace... how is he not spotted by the men or their crew? He's driving slowly on a dock where there are no cars. Why not park and follow them on foot? Also he stays in the parked car for what can only be a 8+ hours. He didn't think he'd be noticed? And why not call for any back up?

 

"Bad Cop. Bad."

 

- Pete Scudese

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In regards to Jake being a complete asshat, what was with his attitude when the narcotics officer asks to borrow Reno to sniff out drugs? To set the scene, Jake just sort of…shows up at the scene of a crime? If I were to hazard a guess, I would think Jake is a homicide detective and wouldn’t have anything to do with a drug bust. Plus, he’s kind of in the middle of trying to stop a huge terrorist plot, so I don’t know if loitering around a drug bust is really the best use of his time. Anyway, he’s there now and the officer on duty tells him they’ve been waiting an hour for a drug sniffing dog and asks if they could borrow Reno for a little bit, at which point Chuck Norris gives the officer a dick shriveling stare, sighs, and says, “I guess so…” Hold on a second, dipshit! You shouldn’t even be there! You’re not a narcotics officer! You’re just getting in the way! This guy just wants use of your dog for a couple of minutes so he can get his job done and get the fuck out of there and you’re going to give him attitude? Who the fuck are you, Jake? You don’t even like the dog! At the very least, you’ll be rid of it for a couple of minutes.

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I feel like every single choice the filmmakers made could (and should) be questioned. So just picking one.

 

I thought the premise of the meet cute between Chuck Norris and Reno in Callahan's office was insane. Reno is smarter than every person in this movie and is a hero so many times over that pulling a baby out of a burning building is not even a big deal. Not only would Reno be famous at the police department Reno would be more famous in San Diego than Tony Gwynn. But Chuck Norris has never heard of him.

 

Side note: I thought it was odd that screenwriter Ron Swanson had characters with the name Swanson in the movie.

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There is so much to be said about this movie but the one thing I want to mention before I forget is about the cat and mouse game between the one head white supremacist and the lady cop in the bell tower at the climax of the movie. We see a few times the character go out on these tiny balconies in the tower that are no bigger than a bathtub. There is not extra room to the sides of them and they only come out like a meter. When she gets to the top floor she clears the one balcony and as she walks out on to the second balcony the white supremacist leaps out at her catching her by surprise. Where was he hiding? There is literally no extra space or room to hide. We are shown how big it is immediately after when they are tussling on it not to mention in all the previous establishing shots. Are we to assume that he was dangling over the edge and leaped up and over and at her? It makes no sense!

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Side note: I thought it was odd that screenwriter Ron Swanson had characters with the name Swanson in the movie.

I'm willing to bet that his dad's name is Lou and his brother's name is Matt too.

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