EPISODE 99 — Paul Rust Again, Our Close Friend

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Paul Rust is on another podcast today. I'm not going to say which one. Figure it out yourself, fuckheads!

[mikebonetti 3718]

If you think you should also survive, tell me why. I have room for two other survivors, but need a good reason.

Reasons for my survival:

(in no particular order)

• We cool, right?
  
• I had a flamethrower I think
  
• I've seen every episode of Survivorman, at least once
  
• Destiny's Child
  
• Jeff Probst/John Cochran
  
• Eye of the Tiger
  
• etc.
  

[JacobCrites 4977]

amazing eppy. Rust is such a perfect fit for the show.

Thanks for reading.

[chicknsandwich 2495]

 

sarcasm!

 

golden arrow your image makes me uncomfy

[Houston 4819]

If you think you should also survive, tell me why. I have room for two other survivors, but need a good reason.

 

- I think I should live because I've not even gotten into the story yet. Hard to be killed when you can't be found.

- I am naturally wary of robots

- I'm handy to have around in post-conflict times when it's essential to restart a society

- I've seen Battlestar Galactica

- I've read Isaac Asimov's Robot Series and the Foundatoin series, even the second trilogy which wasn't as good, but still fun.

- Did I mention that if I am killed I am guaranteed to haunt you in your dreams?

[JoshuaVivace 53]

Alright, so I'm having trouble writing chapter 4 of my action movie forum fanfiction. My problem is that there are too many of you. I'm going to kill off most of the characters in the next chapter. Confirmed survivors are going to be:

 

Chanson and Joe McGurl because I see them as father figures and desperately am seeking their approval.

SteveH because his rivalry with me has great story potential.

Souprman because the death of his lover silvrwoman is going to add some pathos.

Valerie Bryant because the I think girls should be priests.

 

If you think you should also survive, tell me why. I have room for two other survivors, but need a good reason.

 

 

Oook mr parties first of all Andrew wk must love you based on your last name which is obv parties....lets just say hee...haha well he loves to parties all the time....

 

*clears hairball from throat* mmk well that was a whittle taste of one of my funny jokes that I can do but alas Jefferson lets get down to tax brass . I'm soooo pissed that these action movies theses days never have cats...I went to audition for John wink an felt I tested well. But they picked dog instead...I'm no racist I has a bunch of dog friends but they has all the roles and has all the cheeseburger smammiches....now magine myself in part where John wisk dog gets punched ONCE and dies ..that's riiight i know what your thinking I die but comes back using a 9 life an help John whip punch the main mean guys butt all the way off.

 

You could use a cat fighter guy like myself and I could die buuuut jus come back am save you guys at the last minute when everyone thinks the main mean good guy mr parties is going to bite dust

 

Maybe I burst through the window like cool swat guy and kick the main mean bad guy then deliver this lil line o gold

 

Sorry but I'm just not FEELINING you .......yah know ...cause I'm cat

 

*licks spilt warm milk off of keyboard*

[Andrew 4646]

You're really committing to this style, huh.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

What just happened?

[JoshuaVivace 53]

You're really committing to this style, huh.

 

Well Andrew this stays between me and you that's why This is in your pm inbox and not on the forums but Idk man I mean I'm second guessing and want to backpedal on this bit so hard and are a lil scared honestly.... Like I was gonna write a whole stand up album as Catrick but now I realize like how the fuck am I supposed to BE cat when I go on tour...it's not a question of wether or not the jokes are clean funny and irreverent cause I got all that down I'm just concerned about bieng cat when I get to the point where I've got a CC half hour.

 

Oh and dude I know that your bill Murray... I mean changing your name to Andrew was genius and it fooled...seemingly everyone on the forums including Hayes and Sean but not this guy. Keeping your real photo on here was a ballsy move as well but one that's paid off obviously I mean who else would have access to pictures of bill Murray other than bill Murray. Just saying

 

So If you keep the secret that I'm not realy a cat I'll keep the secret that your realy bill Murray

 

Pinky swear

[souprman 10477]

Reasons for my survival:

(in no particular order)

• We cool, right?
  
• I had a flamethrower I think
  
• I've seen every episode of Survivorman, at least once
  
• Destiny's Child
  
• Jeff Probst/John Cochran
  
• Eye of the Tiger
  
• etc.
  

 

fuck

 

- I think I should live because I've not even gotten into the story yet. Hard to be killed when you can't be found.

- I am naturally wary of robots

- I'm handy to have around in post-conflict times when it's essential to restart a society

- I've seen Battlestar Galactica

- I've read Isaac Asimov's Robot Series and the Foundatoin series, even the second trilogy which wasn't as good, but still fun.

- Did I mention that if I am killed I am guaranteed to haunt you in your dreams?

 

marry

 

Oook mr parties first of all Andrew wk must love you based on your last name which is obv parties....lets just say hee...haha well he loves to parties all the time....

 

*clears hairball from throat* mmk well that was a whittle taste of one of my funny jokes that I can do but alas Jefferson lets get down to tax brass . I'm soooo pissed that these action movies theses days never have cats...I went to audition for John wink an felt I tested well. But they picked dog instead...I'm no racist I has a bunch of dog friends but they has all the roles and has all the cheeseburger smammiches....now magine myself in part where John wisk dog gets punched ONCE and dies ..that's riiight i know what your thinking I die but comes back using a 9 life an help John whip punch the main mean guys butt all the way off.

 

You could use a cat fighter guy like myself and I could die buuuut jus come back am save you guys at the last minute when everyone thinks the main mean good guy mr parties is going to bite dust

 

Maybe I burst through the window like cool swat guy and kick the main mean bad guy then deliver this lil line o gold

 

Sorry but I'm just not FEELINING you .......yah know ...cause I'm cat

 

*licks spilt warm milk off of keyboard*

 

KILL

[Joe McGurl 8358]

well he loves to parties all the time....

 

That's Eddie Murphy. Sorry bro

[elizamuffins 4228]

 

That's Eddie Murphy. Sorry bro

 

I think you meant Eddie Murphy's girl. I was alive back then so I remember.

[Casaba 5942]

very good geimho impo.

 

Sorry guys, this is all I got. I'll disappear someday.

[JoshuaVivace 53]

 

That's Eddie Murphy. Sorry bro

 

Hey joe umm just figured I'd send you a pm about that botched reference back there hope you get this message soon.

I'm realy sorry man like I know your prob disappointed along with a slew of other forum members at my recent attempts to do a funny cat bit on the forums....and then I go and totally whiff on a great reference and joke opportunity . I just thought that one ep of aqua teen where Andrew wk sings party party party was actually party all the time by Eddie Murray I'm not usually that type of guy so You know I'm sorry about all this bringing the forums vibe down......I just...you know wanna be cool and i prob owe Jeffparties an apology as well for making light of his book and doin a joke uhhh

 

....let's try to keep this whole debacle from Steve H since he's our forum dad and also souprman cause he seems kinda mean

[Joe McGurl 8358]

okay

[NoahTomaszewski 2768]

So, episode 100 is coming up next week. Have the bookies started laying odds on the potential episode titles? Personally, I'm hoping for "Chanson, Our Close Frenemy"

[souprman 10477]

souprman cause he seems kinda mean

this is the part that works.

[SteveH 11126]

I'm also mean.

[elizamuffins 4228]

Sean asked us all to be nice, you guys!

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Catrick Stewart, you're fucking up a lil bit here but you're clearly very funny so I do love you and accept you as one of us. Can I ask you a question? Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? I'd just like to get to know you better now that we're blood brothers.

 

Soup, I did like your story about your friend losing half of his foot, but it made me very sad and it also made me fall in love just slightly with your disfigured friend. I want to hear your other sad stories, but I'm scared of the feelings they'll bring.

[honlads 8798]

The guys in the film "Hot Rod" like to party. Love that scene. I actually do.

[Andrew 4646]

I would honestly love a Chanson episode.

[elizamuffins 4228]

The guys in the film "Hot Rod" like to party. Love that scene. I actually do.

 

Cool beans.

 

Boring story about a kid you don't know but I do and what parents do best is bore you with stories about their kids.

 

Back me up on this SteveH.

 

 

My now 11 year old son has been using HotrodKimball as a username ever since has been using usernames....recently founder out the character is actually Rod Kimble and he has a bunch of useless dumb usernames.

 

If only there were some celebrity with the last name Kimball we could pretend like all along it was an earwolf forum celeb name mashup!

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

My little brother and I have bonded over Hot Rod since it came out. Every year I sign his Christmas presents with a quote and call him Kevin and he calls me Rod. We also call my dad Douglas Bubbletrousers on a regular basis.

[greggy 15909]

u know what, ths show is very funny to me