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EPISODE 101 — The Grease Knows Eggs Show with Jesse Thorn

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I'm more of a Dierkes head, and I remember a collaborator that brought me to my Kneis.

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DILDO EGGS

 

 

I really hope YouTube doesn't give me egg-dildo related videos now.

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This ep = my bean blown. New contender for best HH ep to start with?

An episode that has nothing in common with almost every other episode outside of a twisted PCG section?

 

Probably right tbh

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2 large scoops vanilla Ice cream

10 oz of your favorite cream soda

 

1. Place two heaping scoops of vanilla ice cream in a tumbler glass.

2. Top with 10 ounces of your favorite cream soda, slowly as to not over fizz.

3. Enjoy, Baby!

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seems like a bit of overkill on the vanilla/cream combo, idk.

 

i'll try it though.

 

omg it's fucking amazing!

 

thankfully i had all those ingredients on hand.

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JP have any recommendations for cream sodas?

 

My favorite rapper/artist/person (not a joke) Danny Brown likes to drink lean in cream soda flavor Faygo, could I make these substitutions?

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My favorite cream soda is probably IBC (glass bottles ONLY.) When I made one yesterday I also added a shot of Southern Comfort Gingerbread. I didn't mention that because I didn't want to condone naughty behavior.

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I forgot about my mound of jizz-receptacles hidden under a couch when i moved away for college

 

My mom's never said anything

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I forgot about my mound of jizz-receptacles hidden under a couch when i moved away for college

 

My mom's never said anything

 

You should go back home in search of your goo.

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You should go back home in search of your goo.

 

"In Search Of Goo" would make a great album title

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An episode that has nothing in common with almost every other episode outside of a twisted PCG section?

 

Probably right tbh

 

That's what I'm sayin'. Throw the newcomers into the deep end. Sink or swim, baby.

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I forgot about my mound of jizz-receptacles hidden under a couch when i moved away for college

 

My mom's never said anything

 

I have a couple pretty major issues with this. First of all, you should not refer to your sexual partners as "jizz-receptacles," it's extremely disrespectful. Even more troubling, you should not murder your sex partners and leave them in a heap under your couch. It's disrespectful to your mom, if nothing else, because why should she have to clean up after you? I think you were raised better than that.

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I'm on vacation, and I'm not sure when I'll have access to internet again, so I have a few things to say just in case:

 

1. Because of my limited internet access, I may not be able to "like" your post. But please know that most likely I would have LOVED it.

 

2. That dildo egg video was insane and I'm not sure what my reaction should have been. I cracked the f up, but can a cool kid, totally not a little uncomfortable with her/his sexuality please explain it to me? I mean, I know the answer of course, but I think it would benefit others to know, and I'm in Mexico right now and I'm having trouble with the English translation.

 

3. On the plane here, I was trying to get caught up with The Reality Show Show. What's the appropriate time frame for that?

 

4. What's the weirdest thing you've experienced on a date? Please be honest and try to make me feel better about my latest endeavor

 

5. Last but not least, please give me a summary of all the best posts that will occur in the near future, just in case I will not be able to read them.

 

Thanks

 

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Weirdest thing on a date

 

My girlfriends best friend suddenly had a crush on this guy in my class. One of those skinny, druggy, Crack head looking guys..

Eventually sets us up with a double date at his house. WTF (a podcast) .

 

Get to his house and there is no furniture anywhere. We were brought to a small bedroom that only had a mattress on the floor, a mattress stood up and leaning against the wall, and a small table.

 

The three of us sat on the nasty mattress, while this guy's father sat on the table facing us about a mere three feet away. No teeth, drinking a fourty as the other guy and his friends drank.

 

Very little happening from the dad other than weird smiles at the girls, lip smacking and staring. I had decided we were a few short minutes from rape and a solid ass kicking, my eyes started darting around the room to plan out my heroic Bourne Identity like takedown of four dudes as I carried the two hotties out with me to safety. Hopefully as a reward my GF (girlfriend) would allow me a Crack at her bestie while the badguys from school and CD (creepy dad) bled out.

 

Suddenly a little girl walks in. Maybe three and a half years old. No clothes other than underwear, and the most disgusting eye infection I have ever seen. Looked like masa flour and margarine whipped up and dolloped onto her eyelid.

 

The dad and a few of the others left the room to put her back to wherever she came from, and I turn to the girls and say "LET'S GET THE FOUK ODDA HERE". A brisk walk through the house ensued. We get to the front door undetected but it is locked and the lock handles will not turn or budge. At this point I was so amped up that I gave up on the locks almost immediately and started to put a plan in action to smash a window and climb out.

 

Suddenly the other date guy reappears and asks my GFF (Girl Friend's Friend) what's happening. She tells him she wants out of the house. He starts to wrestle the door while turning the lock handles (I will try this on my wife or girlfriend sometime) and the door eventually opens.

 

My first steps as a free man again were ones I would never forget.

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9/11 was an Earwolf job

 

 

 

In 1977 the E.W. Scripps moved their corporate headquarters from New York City to Cincinnati, OH. A seemingly strange move for such a large and powerful company. Almost as if Mr. Scripps knew that he needed to leave NYC to keep his company safe.

 

 

 

In 2009, comedian Steve Rannazzisi appeared on the popular podcast WTF with Marc Maron, where he told the now infamous story of how he escaped from the world trade center, while working for a company that did not have offices in the building.

 

 

 

The revelation that Rannazzzisi's story was an outright lie was brought to light shortly after E.W. Scripps acquired Earwolf/Mid Roll, and subsequently launched the Howl Premium app.

 

 

 

Part of this deal included maintaining exclusive rights to the archived episodes of WTF with Marc Maron. The very podcast where this twisted tale began.

 

 

 

How can one listen to the episode from 2009 where Mr. Rannazzisi first begins spinning his web of lies? By shelling out $4.99 a month for Howl Premium, of course.

 

 

 

Coincidence? You decide.

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SteveH and Steve Rannazzisi are both named Steve.

 

 

Coincidence? You decide.

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9/11 was an Earwolf job

 

 

 

In 1977 the E.W. Scripps moved their corporate headquarters from New York City to Cincinnati, OH. A seemingly strange move for such a large and powerful company. Almost as if Mr. Scripps knew that he needed to leave NYC to keep his company safe.

 

 

 

In 2009, comedian Steve Rannazzisi appeared on the popular podcast WTF with Marc Maron, where he told the now infamous story of how he escaped from the world trade center, while working for a company that did not have offices in the building.

 

 

 

The revelation that Rannazzzisi's story was an outright lie was brought to light shortly after E.W. Scripps acquired Earwolf/Mid Roll, and subsequently launched the Howl Premium app.

 

 

 

Part of this deal included maintaining exclusive rights to the archived episodes of WTF with Marc Maron. The very podcast where this twisted tale began.

 

 

 

How can one listen to the episode from 2009 where Mr. Rannazzisi first begins spinning his web of lies? By shelling out $4.99 a month for Howl Premium, of course.

 

 

 

Coincidence? You decide.

Is this post a brown kid bringing a home made clock to school in Texas?

 

Because it's the bomb!

 

I'm working on this joke for my hour stand up special.

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SteveH and Steve Rannazzisi are both named Steve.

 

 

Coincidence? You decide.

#YesAllSteves

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Is this post a brown kid bringing a home made clock to school in Texas?

 

Because it's the bomb!

 

I'm working on this joke for my hour stand up special.

With gems like that, why stop at just an hour?

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I cant get that video to embed for the life of me and I'm sad that most of you won't click through to see this sickass pug play the drums

 

CLICK THE DAMN LINK

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