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EPISODE 104 — Nip/Tuck Commentary Episode 408

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I had to sue buzzfeed when they defamed me in their "1 Doctor Who Lost an Xbox Live Gold 12 Month Subscription Card Inside a Human Body" list. Also how is that a list when no one else has done it??? That site's so bad

fucked up that buzzfeed puts it up as a negative thing. i think they should be celebrating you as guiness world record holder for being the surgeon who has implanted the most giftcards in patients...if you ever figure out which one has my arbys card in it i would appreciate getting it back tho

 

ive had my own battles with the media, cracked featured me in an article called "You won't believe what this CRAZY DOCTOR prescribed to his patients!!" and its totally baseless, my license was revoked the whole time i was advising patients to drink pregnant lady urine so HELLO dont call me a crazy doctor, i was just giving advise as a layman

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I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win.

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The digital age, greggy, my friend. The digital age. Seems you can't tell a man with gout to "gout of my clinic before I fucking suplex you" anymore without some butthurt fucker putting it on social media looking for notes on tumblr.

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Boy did I catch some heat when Mashable plastered me on their front page with the article, " This Doctor installed electrotherapy shock sensors to a coma patients bones to play a real life game of Operation." What was I supposed to do? It was a slow Tuesday and me and the boys in the OR decided to have a bit of fun and hey, the guy woke up from the coma halfway through but did I get any thanks for that? Unbelievable.

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I thought Marcel was a monkey?

wait, he's not a shell?

 

also yeah hey guys i'm definitely never having fulfilling sex again, welcome to spinsterhood, who knew it would arrive while i was still in my 20s

 

nb i'm also a little drunk but i AM pretty sure that marcel is a shell. he has shoes.

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wait, he's not a shell?

 

also yeah hey guys i'm definitely never having fulfilling sex again, welcome to spinsterhood, who knew it would arrive while i was still in my 20s

 

nb i'm also a little drunk but i AM pretty sure that marcel is a shell. he has shoes.

 

Life begins at 30!

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Does anyone know if I left my sunglasses in the hotel from June?

 

Edit: never mind, I'll come check myself, I need to be sure

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Boy did I catch some heat when Mashable plastered me on their front page with the article, " This Doctor installed electrotherapy shock sensors to a coma patients bones to play a real life game of Operation." What was I supposed to do? It was a slow Tuesday and me and the boys in the OR decided to have a bit of fun and hey, the guy woke up from the coma halfway through but did I get any thanks for that? Unbelievable.

ive been saying it since my second residency, if you really want to make a guy wake up from a coma, just do what i did to my first malpractice claimant which i am not legally allowed to say

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What band was it? I know a lot of people in bands that suck.

 

These guys: https://www.facebook.com/absolutionkey

 

A ton of my friends are involved in the Pittsburgh indie music scene, but I didn't know this band.

 

They played well, but they were SO sleazy and the frontman literally hit on every girl at the bar, even the ones clearly there with partners. He kept touching us when he spoke and would carry his guitar around the bar with him and was just generally the hottest yet most repulsive person I've ever met.

 

also yeah hey guys i'm definitely never having fulfilling sex again, welcome to spinsterhood, who knew it would arrive while i was still in my 20s

 

Same, girl. I haven't gotten laid in six months, haven't gotten laid well in nine months and haven't gotten laid well by a dude in over a year. Probably just gonna invest in cloning myself purely for sexual purposes.

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"Exposure exposure exposure" is what I say to myself when I'm reading yet another Gawker thinkpiece on whether or not I should be fired for prescribing a "chill pill" no matter what the ailment.

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I'm kind of a Patch Adams type so I'll often write a prescription for a listicle.

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So, I can still be aborted?

 

Your mother brought you into this world and she can take you out of it.

 

Or she can let you live so you can date rape an absurd amount of women. Up to her.

 

 

If you get that ref you are either over 30 or very into the old albums of a shamed former king of comedy.

 

 

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Your mother brought you into this world and she can take you out of it.

 

Or she can let you live so you can date rape an absurd amount of women. Up to her.

 

 

If you get that ref you are either over 30 or very into the old albums of a shamed former king of comedy.

 

If you get this reference your childhood was awesome

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Or she can let you live so you can date rape an absurd amount of women. Up to her.

 

 

I know I'm a forum villian, but holy fuck!

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I don't get the reference, but I'm the men's rights activist around here, not Norm. So, Norm, kindly BACK THE FUCK OFF.

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*sorry if the not getting the reference is a reference I don't get

 

Is this a reference I'm not getting?.. to you not getting a reference to not getting a reference, I mean. Just making sure.

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Is this a reference I'm not getting?.. to you not getting a reference to not getting a reference, I mean. Just making sure.

 

If I remember correctly I'm referencing Rashomon

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If I remember correctly I'm referencing Rashomon

 

Oh, no I knew you were making a reference. I was making a different reference.

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Oh, no I knew you were making a reference. I was making a different reference.

 

I think we're talking at cross-references then*

 

 

*Tie Xi Qu: West of the Tracks (2002)

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Life begins at 30!

Liz I'm sorry to tell you it promptly ends at 39 years 11 months 30 days 23 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds.

 

But I assure you you'll be over it by then so nbd.

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I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win.

I can already see the "Don't blame me I voted for Chanson" bumperstickers.

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