EPISODE 113 — Listeners, Our Close Friends 3

[agata 2789]

Sean and Hayes introduce a new call-in segment called the Phonecorn Gallery where they take calls about the news, with topics like the Chris Evert Celebrity Tennis Tournament, Gwen Stefani, the queen, people building walls, the movie Spectre, and new bugs.

[Hawkjones 43]

Can i get the premium because I'm first? I'll buy a shirt if do get the premium. Please Hayes

[AnnieMcfadden 943]

I am vibrating with anticipation!! (nonsexual. okay... a tiny bit sexual)

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

My call topic is mentioned in the description. That makes me happy.

[apocowarg 2696]

[Blink 1844]

Oh yeah, supposed to have money to buy that shirt

 

Hmm

[Joe Lerini 7329]

Way to go, listeners! You're the real heroes!

[chanson 9697]

I think this one will go down in history as "the one without Chanson."

[mikebonetti 3718]

Can't wait to get my ears around this one!

[piemanpie24 1119]

I'm excited to hear everyone's beautiful voices!

[Andy Dick Cheney 3779]

 

yes

[piemanpie24 1119]

Rules For A Bird

1: Eat the worm

2: Gobble that seed

3: Have eggs

4: Fly

5 Drain the three-ball

[robotam 4493]

Standing in the cold outside city hall. Using their precious wifi to download this ep.

 

Take that government!

[elizamuffins 4228]

Very excited, Can't wait. I cut my finger using a mandolin slicer yesterday and it hurts to type this but I must register my anticipation and support! Love hurts!

[chicknsandwich 2495]

Calling in was either the worst thing I've ever done or the best thing I've ever done. I haven't decided yet.

 

edit: I relistened to the ep and you guys are seriously so funny! There wasn't a single call that didn't get me juiced up. This has to at least be in my top 3 HH call-in episodes.

[kittens 1288]

can't believe i missed another call in episode

i'm too busy playing videogames to check the forum every day of my entire life

did any of you ever play a videogame? it was pretty cool right

[skizelo 2536]

I'm ten minutes shy of the end but I'm willing to award this the best call-in ep award. The mean part of me wants to say that's because of no-Chanson, but really I just think the boys have got more ruthless in steamrolling the guests.

e: Tim! Don't call while your driving Tim, people care about you.

e2: seriously the boys talk so much faster than regular when they have to shepard folks w/ maybe not their razor-sharp comedic insincts. also Hayes learned from Eggs how to just cut calls dead. Cheers to the Cards Against Humanity caller, you were doing really well, shame about the Peak Rando thing kinda ruined it.

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

I am excited to listen to this episode!

[JacobCrites 4977]

one day, by some miracle or the very hand of God, I will be on one of these call-in episodes.

[SteveH 11126]

Everyone was super nice and funny and charming. I have to agree that this might be the best of the call-in eps.

 

Who was the Andrew impersonator? That was probably my favorite. They even had their own personal Hayes-Laugher in the background!

[AshleyChupp 3958]

[REDACTED] plugged his earphones into his phone. It had been a long, hard day at work, and it was time to unwind with his favorite pastime, listening to comedy podcasts. It was Tuesday. What was new on Tuesdays? Oh, right. Hollywood Handbook. That was a good one. He opened his Howl app (what a phenomenal app) and started the latest episode. A listener call-in episode? Hmm. Well, he would hold his judgment for now. Hayes and Sean are funny guys who can make anything funny, after all.

 

As [REDACTED] made his way through the episode, he felt the tension and stress drain away. It was funny and soothing. It made him feel a little safer and a little more engaged in life. The Holidays can be a tough time, but comedy is a real life raft in the sea of Seasonal Depression. Then, about 53 minutes into the episode, [REDACTED] froze and broke out in a cold sweat.

 

That name. That voice. Could be a coincidence. No, no it wasn't. It was her. Oh god. It was her.

 

He never thought he'd hear her voice again after that day she left almost exactly one year ago, slamming the door behind her. Something had been different in the air that time she left. She didn't even have to say it was for good this time. They both knew it.

 

Since then he had moved to a new state, gotten a new shitty job. He was just trying to keep his head down, focus on his art and forget his time in Pittsburgh. It was hard to admit, but he was beginning to realize that he had behaved himself poorly there. He met a nice, trusting girl and treated her cruelly. He had enjoyed the rush of power when he broke her heart, repeatedly. But that was all in the past. He was trying to move on. He had been succeeding in moving on. Until now.

 

Half of him wanted to tear his earphones out, turn off his phone and never listen to Hollywood Handbook again. But the other half, the stronger half, had a sick compulsion to keep listening. God, she was so charming. Her voice so beautiful. How could he have treated her so horribly? What kind of twisted monster was he?

 

A couple minutes and her call was over. [REDACTED] turned off the podcast and walked to his desk. He should make amends. It was overdue. He took out a pen, intending to write a letter. But what could he say? What words in this world could ever make things right between them? No, words would not do. Instead, he took out his wallet, emptied it of several hundreds of dollars in cash, put it in an envelope and addressed it to her.

 

No, he could never make things right. But this one small token of repentance, he could do. This one thing, he could do.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Hahahahaha ily Ashley.

[Thomas Fiddlesticks 231]

Moneypenny shoots Bond on the train in Skyfall, not Spectre. Like, did you even see the movie? Gosh.

[devscoots 2561]

Doin a rough draft of the "ballad of the call-in episode"

 

 

 

Big starts to the calls (because the Rockman is a big guy)

 

Early tension between Ran and Andrew hopefully won't tear apart these dear forums

 

KOB crushing it

 

Andrew for real coming back to double dip but that killer joke A+ just kept getting better

 

Greggy doin bits like no ones bits

 

Josh (burdrulz) good

 

Souprman really served up that heartfelt tribute to France

 

Jeffrey's teeth best watch out

 

Annie's gunna keep dem peepers peeled for Missy, turning on Cody

 

Ashley on the run from the cops on account of that stolen baby, gunna sell that baby its small but bad business

 

chickensandwich sounded so regretful about how brief that phone call with Steffi was

 

Tim better watch out with Sean after his girl

 

robotam troubled

 

houston travelled

 

Scott challenged

 

Michael brought up painful memories of a soured business relationship

 

Sam's investigatin'

 

Nick honestly confused me

 

A lil bit more train talk

 

Then Joe wrapped us up with his Mr Freeze powers on computers

 

That was the call in show

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

Harris' foam corngallery