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JulyDiaz

EPISODE 126 - The Star Wars Holiday Special

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I watched the bulk of this while watching my 3 month old son, which makes it his very first exposure to the Star Wars universe.

You hadn't shown him your Colt 45 commercials first?

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You hadn't shown him your Colt 45 commercials first?

 

if you type "colt 45 beer billy dee williams" into google and hit IMAGES and enjoy!

 

lando.jpg

 

I wounder if there is a action figure with him and the bottle of beer.

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edited and added two minutes later..

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it's not what I had in mind but I stand corrected.

 

 

 

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and boy they are not kidding when they say choking hazard-small parts.

 

 

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Is it possible that Itchy's grotesque, nightmare inducing visage is a direct result from hours upon hours spent in the "Mind Evaporator" having inter-species pornography pumped directly into his brain?

 

giphy.gif

 

This is why I always stress the need for quality appliances in your home. So next time you're in the market for a Brain Masturbator, consider getting one from Whirlpool--a company that believes in one simple idea: to design, build, and service home appliances (including extrasensory, jerkoff machines) the right way. Built with pride, so that your auto-erotic, psychic salon chair will work for years, or they won't not build them at all! If Whirlpool can't keep this simple idea alive, then we (and especially our mental masturbation stations) are the endangered species. Buy Whirlpool; save the world!

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So was the version of SW-HS on the HDTGM facebook page,was that the version with all of the tv Commercials in ?

 

I only ask because likeCaptain Solo I didn't get to it on time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ21QVLBsAo

 

am I a bad person for having the thought as soon as the union ad came on of thinking of this team.

 

 

 

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Scary part is that's sort of what has happened, everything being made over seas in china.

i love when they are building the GM cars and one guy looks like he's slapping that car together in such a careless way that is so shocking to see. compared to the almost to the almost robotic plants they have now.

 

today but you've seen all of this before.

 

 

 

as much as I would like to make fun of it, I could really use one of those old style bell telephones. there is nothing more better then when your on the phone with some person and being able to take out your frustrations with that caller by slamming the phone down on the base. or maybe just throw it at the wall! who cares, because that phone is still going to work. ohh those are the days. could really use that the next time Microsoft phones me to offer to fix my computer system for me. I just asnwer sorry, it's already fucked up for me no way your going to improve it. You've done a good job with windows 10.

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It would've been funny if the holiday special had been a deal breaker when Disney bought Lucasfilm. I could see Lucas being like, "You can have everything but the holiday special. I wanna make sure that shit stays in the vault." And Disney would be like, "If we can't have the holiday special, then screw it, the deals off."

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But seriously, I have to admit that I gasped in horror when he stepped behind the bar and grabbed her from behind. And then when he was still in the bar...but she had already sent the bouncers home!!!! Yikes!

This special is just one big "yikes" let's be honest

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Don't know if anyone has done this yet, but I wrote and performed a "What's its Mission?" song. I aplogize in advance for the shitty sound quality.

 

UPDATE: Due to the shitty sound quality, I'll list the lyrics here. This song is from June's point of view:

 

One day I came home to see my husband Paul.

Playing with something that looked like a ball.

He told me that it was something called BB-8.

I looked at it thinking, "Gee that's great."

It started roaming around, freaking me out.

I needed to ask Paul what all this was about.

 

What's its mission?

Yeah, yeah.

What's its mission?

I'll say it again.

Yeah, yeah.

What's its mission?

 

Is it something that Beckham bounces off his head?

Or could it be something that literally wants me dead?

 

What's its mission?

Yeah, yeah.

What's its mission?

I'll say it again.

Yeah, yeah.

What's its mission?

 

My question has become immortalized.

Now on tote bags and shirts of every size.

They're both on sale for 20 dollars, get 'em quick.

Before Disney takes them off, 'cause they are dicks.

 

Just kidding, y'all, Episode VII was great.

It really was worth the wait.

But after the hype, one thing remains.

One question really racks my brain.

 

What's its mission? x2

What is its mission?

Can someone tell me?

I don't know.

What is its mission?

 

https://soundcloud.c...a-song-for-june

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This has been part of my holiday tradition for the past seven years and I came up with a theory, probably not the first, that makes this whole thing a little easier to watch and explains away a lot of the oddness. The Star Wars Holiday Special is actually... a propaganda film made by the rebel alliance to help their cause.

 

Think about it, you can't get the heroes of the Republic who just destroyed the Death Star to show up in your film, so what you have to go out and cast them. They found spot on lookalikes for Han and Leia but their Luke looked a little off. Also because they wanted realism, they went for looks over acting ability which explains the phoned in performances. It also explains why Han and Chewie are sitting in a closet and not on the actual Millennium Falcon. The Imperial forces come off as much more fascist and evil than in any of the movies. That's because the Rebels are making it and heavily vilifying the Empire to support their cause. They gave Chewbacca a made up family to make him more likable and sympathetic, and an emotional hook to get people in. The Tatooine bar scene? You think this would be hard to explain but it's not. The story about a bunch of aliens, just like their target audience, having their favourite drinking establishment taken away from them by Imperial decree serves to show how nobody or nowhere is safe from the tyrannical rein of the Empire. This also explains why a bunch of officers would stop to watch TV while in the middle of searching a house. I also assume they got some sort of funding from the tourism board of Tatooine. The cartoon is clearly aimed to get kids attention, because Lumpy watching a story about his father doesn't make sense. It also doesn't make sense that R2D2 who had met Boba Fett and his father wouldn't say anything. Also in the new canon Luke and Boba Fett first met in Ben's old house, so this contradicts the cartoon as well. Basically the cartoon, a moral message for the children watching. The music numbers? To make it seem like an actual "special" and not just a blatant propaganda film. The only thing I haven't touched upon is the overall reaching aspect of Life Day. Now as discussed on the show there are a bunch of reasons Life Day makes no sense. A holiday which is about a life tree that is in a weird pocket dimension on the Wookie home planet that is only able to get to via crystal balls but yet is celebrated by humans and Wookies alike is just down right insane. Also how Luke and Leia can go from systems away and show up just in time and yet Chewbacca couldn't do the same further adds to the insanity. None of it makes sense! However, again through the lens of a propaganda piece, Life Day is just the idea that we are all one and only by coming together we can be strong and free. As their target audience is hundreds of planets in many different systems I doubt any of them has been to Kashyyyk or know the customs of Wookies to call this out as being bullshit. It's just a rallying cry aimed to get people to unit and stand against the Empire and not an actual holiday.

 

In summation, the Star Wars Holiday Special is a piece of propaganda from a war that took place a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away that just now is making it's way to Earth satellites and we're seeing it now. View it this way it makes the whole thing a little easier to get through.

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What's its mission? x2

What is its mission?

Can someone tell me?

I don't know.

What is its mission?

IT'S RIGHTN O

 

https://soundcloud.c...a-song-for-june

 

It's written on the box. maybe June was reading the box and was asking paul if he knew?

 

Product Features

  • Star droid from the new Star Wars film: The Force Awakens
  • Control BB8 via your phone or tablet (using Bluetooth)
  • BB8 recognises and reacts to your voice
  • BB8 has a mind of its own and can roam autonomously
  • Complete special missions and install upgrades
  • Create, view and share holographic messages
  • Adaptive personality - BB8's unique attitude and actions evolve as you interact
  • 60 minutes play time from one charge
  • 3 hours charge time via inductive charging dock
  • Recommended for ages 8+

 

I kid you not.

 

Upgrades to what?

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"Lee-ah"? Luke's tie fighter? Paul's geek cred officially busted.

To be fair, I think that's how her name is pronounced in the original trailer for the first film. It's kind of funny, because I think some other names are a little off too. The whole thing sounds like it was done in one take by a guy that doesn't understand this space gobbledy-gook that would rather get back to his cigarette.

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This has been part of my holiday tradition for the past seven years and I came up with a theory, probably not the first, that makes this whole thing a little easier to watch...

tumblr_me5c1fX9Di1raldhto1_500.jpg

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What was up with Harvey Korman's character deliberately telling Malla about Hans and Chewie in front of that Imperial guy? If he was going to see Chewbacca's family later that day, why not wait and tell them there? Instead, Korman risked blowing his and Chewbacca's family's cover by just mentioning "hands, solo".

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As someone not super-versed in Star Wars lore, it's hard to add much to this that hasn't already been said. Highlights for me, which several of you already touched on, were: Harvey Korman in alien blackface, Mark Hamill never once blinking so as to accentuate eyeliner, and every sexually aggressive moment.

 

Only thing I might add is that the episode itself lamented the use of names like Itchy, Lumpy etc. even if Matt helped to explain away the nomenclature ... but George Lucas was NOTORIOUS for the least subtle, most obnoxious naming decisions known to cinema, so we don't even really need the longer mythology of the Wookie names; we just know Lucas actually invents character names like Darth Sidious, Sleazebaggano, General Grievous, Biggs Darklighter and in-world objects like "death sticks". In a world where a character is actually named Sleazebaggano, Lumpy is comparably subtle.

 

But a fun game: imagine what Bruce Vilanch and co. would do to other blockbuster film or TV franchises!

 

Game of Thrones, with a 1-hour lemoncake baking tutorial from Septa Whoopsadaisy?

 

Lord of the Rings, where Ents just slowly moan at each other for the duration?

 

Fast and Furious, with a half-hour where no one actually drives a car?

 

(Oh wait, that last one actually happened.)

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Lord of the Rings, where Ents just slowly moan at each other for the duration?

 

To me, that series felt like 10 hours of everyone moaning indecipherably anyway.

 

As far as Lucas's on-the-nose naming scheme goes, that reminds me of a story I've always wanted to see. It'd be about a guy that goes through life with a historically shitty or villainous-sounding name that just wants to be a normal dude that everyone ELSE is trying to turn into a bad guy. I mean, there are so many villains in sci-fi or action movies that have names where you instantly go "Of course that guy's a fuckin' creep, why wouldn't he be with a name like that?". Sure, some of them might be titles they give themselves later on in life, like Anakin Skywalker wasn't ALWAYS called Darth Vader, but there has to be some poor bastard named Judas Adolph Cain or something that's been wondering why people have been spitting in his face since he was a pre-schooler.

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To be fair, I think that's how her name is pronounced in the original trailer for the first film. It's kind of funny, because I think some other names are a little off too. The whole thing sounds like it was done in one take by a guy that doesn't understand this space gobbledy-gook that would rather get back to his cigarette.

Leia's name is only pronounced once in A New Hope. Grand Moff Tarkin pronounces her name as "Lee-uh," but everyone else calls her "The Princess" or "Your Highness." It wasn't until Empire that she was referred to as "Lay-uh," and that's how she's referred to by everyone throughout the rest of the trilogy. With one exception. Lando calls her something approximating "Lie-uh" at one point. But that's Lando. He kind of does what he wants.

 

What was up with Harvey Korman's character deliberately telling Malla about Hans and Chewie in front of that Imperial guy? If he was going to see Chewbacca's family later that day, why not wait and tell them there? Instead, Korman risked blowing his and Chewbacca's family's cover by just mentioning "hands, solo".

 

That was Art Carney.

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Leia's name is only pronounced once in A New Hope. Grand Moff Tarkin pronounces her name as "Lee-uh," but everyone else calls her "The Princess" or "Your Highness." It wasn't until Empire that she was referred to as "Lay-uh," and that's how she's referred to by everyone throughout the rest of the trilogy. With one exception. Lando calls her something approximating "Lie-uh" at one point. But that's Lando. He kind of does what he wants.

There's a scene towards the end of the first one where Mark Hamill pronounces it "Carrie".

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To me, that series felt like 10 hours of everyone moaning indecipherably anyway.

 

As far as Lucas's on-the-nose naming scheme goes, that reminds me of a story I've always wanted to see. It'd be about a guy that goes through life with a historically shitty or villainous-sounding name that just wants to be a normal dude that everyone ELSE is trying to turn into a bad guy. I mean, there are so many villains in sci-fi or action movies that have names where you instantly go "Of course that guy's a fuckin' creep, why wouldn't he be with a name like that?". Sure, some of them might be titles they give themselves later on in life, like Anakin Skywalker wasn't ALWAYS called Darth Vader, but there has to be some poor bastard named Judas Adolph Cain or something that's been wondering why people have been spitting in his face since he was a pre-schooler.

 

That is pretty goddamn awesome haha. Legitimately could see that being a Bojack-esque central conceit of some animated project. "H is for Hitler", a Netflix original series.

 

Gary Hitler is a substitute teacher who just wants to live a normal life. He goes by Mr. H, but the kids know. They know. He's single, but yearning for life beyond Microwave Cooking for One. So he enrolls in an online dating service, in which he can only go by Gary H. But they all find out eventually. They always do. In the end, there is just Gary Hitler, an empty bottle and the paradox of hoping he does/doesn't get the call to come in and teach that day.

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There's a scene towards the end of the first one where Mark Hamill pronounces it "Carrie".

I've never been able to hear that as anything other than "HEY!"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB2yRlqfDnM

 

Also, the scene was allegedly dubbed, which would make it hard for an on-set gaffe to make it into the final film.

 

But, with as many times as this movie has been fucked with over the years, who knows?

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That is pretty goddamn awesome haha. Legitimately could see that being a Bojack-esque central conceit of some animated project. "H is for Hitler", a Netflix original series.

 

Gary Hitler is a substitute teacher who just wants to live a normal life. He goes by Mr. H, but the kids know. They know. He's single, but yearning for life beyond Microwave Cooking for One. So he enrolls in an online dating service, in which he can only go by Gary H. But they all find out eventually. They always do. In the end, there is just Gary Hitler, an empty bottle and the paradox of hoping he does/doesn't get the call to come in and teach that day.

Oh, I'm full of 'em! My favorite story idea that I've had kicking around in my head though is a dark inspirational sports comedy about a poor African villager that dreams of going to America to play football for his favorite team, the 4-time consecutive NFL Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills. Once there, he'll learn the hard truth behind all the t-shirts he'd received as a child in the early 90s before ultimately helping the Bills get to the Super Bowl again, only to lose once more. It will be a moral victory though, as the final scene will be his friends and loved ones back home receiving a case of Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills merchandise with his face all over it. BAM. Where's my three-picture deal with Disney?

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But that's Lando. He kind of does what he wants.

 

Yes he does

aArJRUe.jpg

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Oh, I'm full of 'em! My favorite story idea that I've had kicking around in my head though is a dark inspirational sports comedy about a poor African villager that dreams of going to America to play football for his favorite team, the 4-time consecutive NFL Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills. Once there, he'll learn the hard truth behind all the t-shirts he'd received as a child in the early 90s before ultimately helping the Bills get to the Super Bowl again, only to lose once more. It will be a moral victory though, as the final scene will be his friends and loved ones back home receiving a case of Super Bowl Champion Buffalo Bills merchandise with his face all over it. BAM. Where's my three-picture deal with Disney?

Now I want to see Cameron's game suggestion from the minisode thread become a reality, because these are amazing.

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Re: People Making Cars For People -- I grew up in Michigan in the 80s, so a lot of the scuttlebutt I heard from adults was about (in Michigan) robots replacing humans on the assembly line at the auto plants. Those commercials were targeted towards people that wanted to make sure they were buying a quality product that had the care of human hands (and the conscientiousness factor of ensuring that autoworkers kept their jobs.) It sounds ridiculous out of context, but as opposed to Robots Making Cars For People....

 

(This was also touched on by Mr. Show early on, in the PitPat sketch: John Ennis' character's great-great-grandfather had a slaving business whose slogan was "People Selling People To People.")

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