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Episode 143 - Showrunners Panel, Our Major Event

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in a podcast snake draft i would pick sean and hayes

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in a podcast snake draft i would pick sean and hayes

 

For my money, if we're talking podcast snakes, I'm going with that old mean Mr. Scripps.

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Welcome to Mel 'Socks' Kiper's 2016 Dream Writer's Room Draft Grades!

 

The excitement of the draft has come and gone, but now it's time to assign completely-informed, legally-binding and totally arbitrary grades to each person's draft class.

 

Pat Walsh: D-

Pat's draft philosophy showed little logic and even worse execution. It's not that Kevin Smith was a bad first-rounder (though he doesn't have the sparkle of a typical #1 overall pick). It's that the next two choices (Woody Allen and Quentin Tarantino) were entirely redundant: old white dudes who write stuff. Pat seemed to care less about assembling a functioning team and more about surrounding himself with his twisted version of eye candy. This draft class is less "2 Broke Girls" and more "3 Useless Draft Picks."

 

Kevin Etten: B+

Count the Teck Money pick as good fortune. He was the #1 player on my draft board and was somehow available at 2 thanks to some draft-day overthinking. Kevin gets credit for diversity, snagging Laura CK (#4 on my Big Board) all the way down at 10. Dom Dierkes is a bit of a risk, though, as it appears Sean may veto the selection - that bumps Etten down from an A into solid "B" range.

 

Hayes Davenport: A

The Hayesman brought a lot of color and unpredictability to the lineup with the selections of baseball Hall of Famer Wade Boggs and '90s film star Cousin Vinny. Sure, there's some risk to both picks, but as Boggs could tell you, you don't hit homeruns without occasionally swinging for the fences. It's also noteworthy that Hayes didn't choose his on-again, off-again coworker Tom Scharpling, who was publicly campaigning all month to be drafted by Hayes.

 

Sean Clements: A-

Sean gets tons of credit for thinking outside the box to get Pizzazz, who I rated as the top musical coordinator in the draft and one of my top 5 sleeper picks. Kelly Oxford is great value at 5 and fits roster needs to a "T." Sean earns points for diversity, but then loses those points for single-handedly filling the staff's entire quota of women with his first two picks. It's also questionable that Sean passed up Kevin Chopsner, as the one thing this roster still sorely needs is chops, preferably for days.

 

Brett Morris: A++

The shocking star of the draft is Engineer Brett, who only had one pick, and that being #11, the very last selection. But 'Mr. Irrelevant' is actually quite relevant this time around. Brett shredded his pick like a Hendrix guitar solo, taking a bonobo, which fills the roster's animal quota and serves as some great native advertising for bonobos.com. It's said that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will inevitably produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Well Engineer Brett is now just a typewriter and an infinite amount of time away from having his very own modern bard on staff. The best part? The bonobo is on an extremely team-friendly contract, essentially working for peanuts.

I actually thought of nearly all of those connections in my head at the time and couldn't articulate even one

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OpUZIB3.jpg

 

This is my dog Hurricane Dennis. Don't worry, he's alive. He was just sleeping on the floor in a goofy way, and when I got close to take the picture, he opened his eyes real wide.

Spunky when is Dennis's bday party and are we invited that is the cutest thing I've ever seen gimme that dog please

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Dennis's birthday (observed) is July 4, so...next July, I guess?

 

In case you're thinking about petting him and hugging him and smooshing his face with your hands, be warned that you may not like it. He's WAY too fluffy and soft for most people.

 

kQBCqSn.jpg

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I actually thought of nearly all of those connections in my head at the time and couldn't articulate even one

 

Brett it was hilarious when you yelled "Spoiler!". Make sure Clem Dawg and Hayzie Bone know we're complimenting you so they can mention the forums on the show next week. Thanks bud

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Yeah, like @thejjar was saying, Brett totally ruled this episode. And with that spoiler thing... he just went off the book, he really went for it. Total laugh-cannon that guy. I have a question, and I am honestly looking for an answer, who knew Brett could be that funny? Because I wanna know your predictions about the Riolympics. rofl.

 

PS: the real meaning and intent behind words can be a tricky thing to register for some people on the internet, -and I know you have your gripes with words, Brett, especially the written english ones,- so let me assure you there is almost no sarcasm here. The spoiler line was solid and imvho even has catchphrase potential.

 

Love,

Hairdude

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Pathetic, low effort episode entirely devoid of both intellectual and comedic content. I had come to expect better not just from the hosts, but from the forum users awa well. The efforts the reel in the listener were complete failures just like the rest of your miserable lives (something we all know to be tre if we look deeply inside of ourselves) but if nothing else this episode served as a tarnished brass bookend on a longwinded thesis about how empathy is a notion that humanity has exolved beyond the need for. Civilization is now an updated fersion of what antiquated bigots reffered to as "a good od fashiond fag drag" andno I do not mean an inhale on a cigarette. Cigarettes are bad for peoples health.

 

Welcome to "Through The Looking Glass".

Get of my barren desolate yard you damn kids.

Hail Satan.

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Pathetic, low effort episode entirely devoid of both intellectual and comedic content. I had come to expect better not just from the hosts, but from the forum users awa well. The efforts the reel in the listener were complete failures just like the rest of your miserable lives (something we all know to be tre if we look deeply inside of ourselves) but if nothing else this episode served as a tarnished brass bookend on a longwinded thesis about how empathy is a notion that humanity has exolved beyond the need for. Civilization is now an updated fersion of what antiquated bigots reffered to as "a good od fashiond fag drag" andno I do not mean an inhale on a cigarette. Cigarettes are bad for peoples health.

 

Welcome to "Through The Looking Glass".

Get of my barren desolate yard you damn kids.

Hail Satan.

Actually the only thing I know to be tre is the damn drummer from Green Day. Hahaha can I get a fuck yea evil2.gif

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Man, I gotta switch to bleach to comprehend this. Or maybe it's written in code where the first letter of each sentence spells out something, like "I am nice. Give me hugs." Well, only bleach can tell.

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for the record I want it to be known my Like on that post is extremely, devastatingly ironic

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i got it mwn.

 

like when you ironically don't like one of my posts.

 

(sniffles, clears throat)

 

funny stuff.

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thats weird i tried to look up "overwritten" on dictionary.com and it just redirected me to page 3 of this thread

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for the record I want it to be known my Like on that post is extremely, devastatingly ironic

 

I saw your like in that vile context and then you made a Green Day reference and I was like - that can't be the same guy, no douche or dickbag-kind-of-guy would like Green Day or even know about them, let alone use a reference to them to execute such a beautiful aikido-like verbal redirection of aggression. I mean, it just didn't fucking compute.

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Best draft ever! Better even than the one on last week's episode of doughboys!

 

Certainly better than the WWE draft they did on Smackdown live earlier tonight. That show was dire!

 

Also, Patrick Walsh sounds a lot like Tom Scharpling. And I've never seen the two of them in the same place at the same time.

 

*looks around suspiciously*

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You pieces of shit want me to edit me posts now? NOW? Figure it the fuck out you have more than enough context clues. I am busy pricing sex dolls that I dont even want to fuck. I just want a human form to embrace that wont try to hurt me. I am become the baby monkey clingingy meekly to the wire form sparsely covered in carpet remnants because guess what, living thing need comfort or some kind, artificial or not and I am done with actual humans as a possible option. You made you monster. Proud stuff.

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"YOU DON'T WANNA GO TO DINNER WITH COUSIN VINNY AND PIZZAZZ?!

 

What if he orders grits?"

 

I'm dying laughing right now.

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Yes. Yes. You love the spaghetti. It makes you better. It makes you alive. Let me pour you a drink from my udder.

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You pieces of shit want me to edit me posts now? NOW? Figure it the fuck out you have more than enough context clues. I am busy pricing sex dolls that I dont even want to fuck. I just want a human form to embrace that wont try to hurt me. I am become the baby monkey clingingy meekly to the wire form sparsely covered in carpet remnants because guess what, living thing need comfort or some kind, artificial or not and I am done with actual humans as a possible option. You made you monster. Proud stuff.

 

We hear you. I don't know if this is a shtick, but judging from your language you're in some pretty dark territory either way and I'm starting to kind of worry. Call up someone you know or call a hotline, it doesn't matter. Even a bottle of booze is a better conversation partner than these forums. Just talk to someone, man.

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they got new chairs bro. try to keep up

show me the damn chairs

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Pathetic, low effort episode entirely devoid of both intellectual and comedic content. I had come to expect better not just from the hosts, but from the forum users awa well. The efforts the reel in the listener were complete failures just like the rest of your miserable lives (something we all know to be tre if we look deeply inside of ourselves) but if nothing else this episode served as a tarnished brass bookend on a longwinded thesis about how empathy is a notion that humanity has exolved beyond the need for. Civilization is now an updated fersion of what antiquated bigots reffered to as "a good od fashiond fag drag" andno I do not mean an inhale on a cigarette. Cigarettes are bad for peoples health.

 

Welcome to "Through The Looking Glass".

Get of my barren desolate yard you damn kids.

Hail Satan.

 

You pieces of shit want me to edit me posts now? NOW? Figure it the fuck out you have more than enough context clues. I am busy pricing sex dolls that I dont even want to fuck. I just want a human form to embrace that wont try to hurt me. I am become the baby monkey clingingy meekly to the wire form sparsely covered in carpet remnants because guess what, living thing need comfort or some kind, artificial or not and I am done with actual humans as a possible option. You made you monster. Proud stuff.

 

Yes. Yes. You love the spaghetti. It makes you better. It makes you alive. Let me pour you a drink from my udder.

 

zULiK3W.png

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At first I feared Hayes had gotten a lobotomy... This Pistachi Disguisee character really fooled me!

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This is my final post.

Bye.

 

End of an era. I'll always remember him for his bad posts

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