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JulyDiaz

Episode 150 - Brett Marcus, Our Engineer Friend from Germany

By JulyDiaz, in Hollywood Handbook

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Auden    1809

Auden
Posted

HH forum member fanfic. Nice! Now the only question is will the eventual sex scenes be rated M or NC-17.

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Charlie Murphy Brown    4977

Charlie Murphy Brown
Posted

HHFFFL Episode 150 Week Four POWER RANKINGS:

 

1. Roy Scheider, the Marines, Sean & Hayes & the NE Patriots: (4-0)

2. The Troops, Tahini Sauce, kickstarter toaster & T-hanks' hair in the da vinci code: (3-1)

3. Knights of Columbus & the Power of David Bowie: (3-1)

4. Two Nice Cold Beers & Robert Kraft (aka Robert Draft): (3-1)

5. Cool Breeze from Open Window, final statue of liberty scene from OG planet of Apes &Babe the blue ox (3-1)

6. Podcast Hosts Doing iTunes Review Bit & In Memory Of Vinyl Stickers on Average Cars: (2-2)

7. Mutant League Football, ASMR Videos, Gluten & Chrs Hrdwck: (2-2)

8. Jimmy Stewart going "Whahh!" in Hitchcock movies & Other Half of Handcuff: (2-2)

9. (Hot Mean) Draft Beer, an Army of Crows & Gord Downie's shiny leather suits: (2-2)

10. Manti Te'o, Pokemon Go & the Notion of Playing Season In Memory of Big Floppy Guy: (2-2)

11. Half a Handcuff & Ryan Lochte's Olympic Armed Robbery Story: (2-2)

12. The Pietá & the Memory of Big Floppy Guy: (1-2)

13. Dick Jokes, Vaping hard af & blowing huge clouds & Being smartest kid in class but not do any Work: (1-3)

14. Fart Sound, TCOAPSAHAOTLARTiCA, 4 vintage Weird Tales & YakkoWakko.com: (1-3)

15. The Engineers w Super Soakers & Sharks w Laser Beams Attached to their Heads: (0-3)

16. Bo Jackson from tecmo Super Bowl, Katie Ledecky & the AZ Cards D: (0-4)

 

The HHFFFL All-Pro-Star-Bowl will be held in a couple weeks at the midway point of the season. It will feature the best player from each team and is purely an exhibition. Start to think about which player you will select for this event

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nohorseman    5423

nohorseman
Posted

For my third round draft pick I would like to select the Earwolf/NPR crossover hit that's going to rocket this company into a brand new demographic, that hit that just won't quit, Chris Bannon's pride: Question of the Day podcast!

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souprman    10477

souprman
Posted

for the last time I'm from Michigan.

 

 

wait... is that right?

 

 

idk.

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SteveH    11126

SteveH
Posted

For my third round draft pick I would like to select the Earwolf/NPR crossover hit that's going to rocket this company into a brand new demographic, that hit that just won't quit, Chris Bannon's pride: Question of the Day podcast!

 

i have bad news for you

 

p.s. I don't listen to this show. I just happened to see this today and couldn't resist the urge to post. I'm a real JeffreyParties ^_^

 

p.p.s. i'm really good at HHFFFL.

 

p.p.p.s. there's a fantasy football podcast on howl now. it appears to be a real one. not an ironic comedy one. although a fake comedy fantasy football podcast that might be a good idea. anyone wanna team up with me on that? we'll put 'Nation' in the title of the podcast.

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lizzy    1946

lizzy
Posted

Find out next time on another chapter of "The Mysterious Case of Herby"

 

Holy shit, I was just going to reply to this with a picture of Herbie, you know, that car that had adventures? But after seeing the continuation of Henry's journey (and the conclusion of Jeffrey's classic bit), I'm going to have to take stock. Reassess some things.

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Fabio's Socks    1822

Fabio's Socks
Posted

 

No more questions ¿¡

 

That's...

terrible?

 

I think that as part of Henry's locket voodoo magic he was doing alongside Jeffrey's counting bit, that podcast died as a sacrifice so Hollywood Handbook could live on.

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nohorseman    5423

nohorseman
Posted

 

i have bad news for you

 

p.s. I don't listen to this show. I just happened to see this today and couldn't resist the urge to post. I'm a real JeffreyParties ^_^

 

p.p.s. i'm really good at HHFFFL.

 

p.p.p.s. there's a fantasy football podcast on howl now. it appears to be a real one. not an ironic comedy one. although a fake comedy fantasy football podcast that might be a good idea. anyone wanna team up with me on that? we'll put 'Nation' in the title of the podcast.

Time for JP to count down the memories, 177 episodes of podcast on wall

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Henry    3777

Henry
Posted

(Souprman and Fabio exchange an impressive volley of humorous one liners, when suddenly souprman's eyes widen with a look of startled realization. "Oh, no!" he says "I just remembered, I have a hot spicy number waiting for me at home!" Fabio gives souprman a sly grin and raises and lowers his eyebrows suggestively. "Oh? A date, huh?" he asks. "Nah, I got a pot of cioppino cooking of the stove." Immediately after this, one of souprman's classic soup based jokes, a thunderous explosion of laughter erupts seemingly on que. Henry peers out the open door, but the Minnesota tundra is empty and quiet as always. "Well, I better make like a pea and split!" Souprman says as he does a semblance of the moonwalk out the door. The uproar is even louder and longer this time, and seems to come from both everywhere and nowhere. The solid wooden door shuts with a heavy thud, a noise that echoes throughout the house. The silence that follows acts as a cold reminder of the tragic accident that just occurred with Henry's vase, priceless in both monetary and sentimental value. Henry gets down to pick up the shattered remains. "Well, them's the breaks." Fabio says, and the sound of laughter sneaks in again to follow the insensitive pun. Henry starts to wonder why he agreed to live here in the first place. Wait..... did he even agree? He thinks back, and the last thing he remembers is walking out of the Hollywood Handbook forum into the night. Someone, or some thing brought him here! His skin grows cold as he comes to the realization that there is possibly one with powers that exceed his own, and has used them to control him beyond his will. "Oh sweet, dude!" Fabio exclaims. "I didn't know you were into swords!" Henry looks over at him confused. "I'm not." he replies. He sees that Fabio has set down his fishing gear, and is now holding the sword Henry wrestled away from Blackbeard out at sea on that fateful day 300 years ago. Another priceless and important treasure from days long past. "Oh, can I have it then?" Fabio asks. "Sure." Henry answers defeatedly. "Winning!" Fabio says a la Charlie Sheen from that meme a long time ago. Henry hears laughter again.)

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TVsFredSavage    502

TVsFredSavage
Posted

All the spiderman and cobweb related stuff has not gone over my heard either fwiw. One CBB episode in particular involved describing spinning in one's chair and shooting webs. I've heard it all. I've heard it all through the yellow windows of the evening train (thats a Tom Waits thing).

 

Edit:

I swear to whatever actually exists that I planned none of this. I am starting to believe in time travel and magic.

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souprman    10477

souprman
Posted

it's 9th & Hennepin

 

all the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes

 

and steam comes out of the grill like the whole goddamn town is ready to blow

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Charlie Murphy Brown    4977

Charlie Murphy Brown
Posted

I mande another username change. I hope you guys find it appropriate for me.

 

Zack man you want top quality nomenclature? what about D.B. Sweeney Todd Margaret? or if that don't hit you, hows about Danny McBride of Chuck E. Cheese. them ones are on the house. or classic reboot, TV's Fred Savage Garden Hose. that one's 14 cents though cuz i already bought up the rights. but ZackTheHinderburger's good too

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souprman    10477

souprman
Posted

or if you're a fan of existential drama's and zombie flicks you could be 21 Grams Later.

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putsome gravyonit    835

putsome gravyonit
Posted

shout out to numba one cheeba hawk.

 

just shoutin you out, dawg.

 

sup agata. holdin it down with the ep summaries!

 

joe lerini in the house.

 

home boy hayes man - that last vice principals? whatever you're bringing to the final edits, it's flavorful, it's savory. gonna keep that recipe handy this winter.

 

souprman? got that slow cooker? haaa rofl jk course you do. soupr got it simmerin

 

sean, the OG malahini. ash is the real wizard of your own design. conjure whatever demons need slaying, knamean? pono hanapa'a, ohana.

 

steveH, greggy, chanson. [birthday boys sketch callback] me? i got 10 dads.

 

engineer brett, what can i say? we live in a world where books don't exist anymore.

 

tip them mugs, yall

 

you're all the best people of everyone you know! it's not a weird self-absorbed ego reflex! it's also true!

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blobofsoul    504

blobofsoul
Posted

initially these gifs were composed to accompany an attempt at critiquing of the in living color's handiman sketch, and contrasting it with monthy python's bicycle repair man sketch. both reverse the oppressive and dehumanizing untermench / ubermench - paradigm for comedic effect. the former is immoral and wrong as it does it in a way that underpins the paradigm, the latter is moral and good as it does it in a way that undermines it.

 

this was going to be emphasized visually by swapping out the simulated object with the actual object:

T5tlQsv.gif

pQSHlg3.gif

 

however i realize that i am not going to put the required effort into it to make it coherent, so instead i sketched the potential of that happening.

 

having demonstrated that i'm not trash, but actually being great and doing good things i'm going to set the numbers straight:

We ruined it. Mostly me, but hey, I'm not one to hog the spotlight. We are all trash.

the forum is not a big mush for you to hide behind after you taz out, jeffrey. only cowards flees into the crowd, the crowd is untruth. coolness is having courage, the courage to do what's right.

 

what would be courageous and therefore cool by you now, after having done this to us, would be to accept the penance of posting "i will never embarass myself in front of my fellow posters again", 150 times, in a row, on the board.

 

150, jeffrey, not 149. this time you do post 69 and you do pass it around. oh, and by the way, uh, read some kierkegaard, dumbass.

 

Goodbye, Hollywood Handbook.

 

Would've been nice if you could've got Brett Gelman involved, but hey, people don't usually see that I was right all along until its way too late.

thank you.

 

the episode with neil casey acting normal (by becoming annoyed) is wunderbar, and i think gelman could have moved the show similarly far from the handbook centroid and given the project more depth (which no doubt would have to be paid for with some other quality).

 

handbook f.ex. did satire on the death of cecil(?) the lion, which i think he could have responded to in a way that would produce peak comedy.

 

i'm assuming that sean, hayes, and gelman could and would work well together, which is a totally unfair assumption. and i also don't have the slightest clue what i'm talking about, the show is already brilliant art, and this type of speculation is slightly perverse.

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