The Marine (2006)

[Young Hutt 6]

Helicopter flying through the desert. Text crawls across the bottom of the screen. Somewhere in Afghanistan. John Cena says something like, if we can't go around em', we'll go through em'. EXPLOSION. Next thing you know T-1000 is sticking up a jewelry store., and walking away in slow motion while a RPG blows up a cop car. This movie is the definition of so bad its good. Also there's some one going joke about rock candy that has a bunch of gay undertones I couldn't really figure out. If you want a great Ep, do this movie.

PS Sorry to recommend two movies in a row that feature wrestlers, didn't occur to me till just now. Although a pro wrestler usually helps with the HDTGM factor.

[2COOL4U69 59]

The black guy in T-1000's crew has the most unnecessary backstory. They really do a bad job making light of molestation in a movie where it absolutely doesn't belong.

[ChaddDerkins 1]

It's been a couple of years since I've seen this - What was the T-1000's self-referential line in the movie? It was like, "Looks like I need to TERMINATE him" or something like that. He might as well have looked at the camera and winked.

[2COOL4U69 59]

He should have just done the John Connor gag from Wayne's World 2 again. In fact he should have to do that in every movie.

[sillstaw 414]

One of my friends from high school told me this story, quoted in its entirety: "I saw 'The Marine' with my dad. Halfway through, I leaned over to him and said, 'I'm sorry.'"

 

Also, what little I know about wrestling is what I've read on TVTropes, so it's amazing that (as this review points out) the WWE cast one of their biggest stars in a movie that plays against his in-ring character so lamely. They have some trash-talking ego villain playing a dead-serious hero who never even seems to crack a smile.

 

 

It's been a couple of years since I've seen this - What was the T-1000's self-referential line in the movie? It was like, "Looks like I need to TERMINATE him" or something like that. He might as well have looked at the camera and winked.

 

According to the IMDb, it's "This guy is like the Terminator." And astonishingly, somebody else says the line, and Robert Patrick just reacts to it. Does the WWE just not get how in-jokes work?

[AprilFoolsRebel 457]

It's been a while and correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Cena's character escape explosive firey death by jumping out a window at least three times in this one?

 

Rule of three means it must be chosen.

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

This movie is on AMC* this month. I've never seen a car get shot over a thousand times without losing a tire or taking a little engine damage. Until now.

 

American Movie Classics (?)

[thestray 361]

Bumping this thread because this movie DEFINITELY needs to be done.

[LowrentChouinard 0]

this movie is weird/funny !!! it must be done !!!

[jarrycanada 2483]

Kimber and a T1000 and a lot of bullets, sounds thrilling!

[PhillipMedoc 648]

I am legally purchasing this as we speak and will be back with a full report.

 

If there's no actual man-on-man penetration I will be VERY DISAPPOINTED.

[jarrycanada 2483]

found it on craptunes for 3 dollars for renting. let us know if it's any good cat & beard.

Crap movie very dangerous, you go first!

 

[nrkist 71]

It's been a while and correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Cena's character escape explosive firey death by jumping out a window at least three times in this one?

 

Rule of three means it must be chosen.

 

I think it's been a while for everyone, but I seem to recall that. Something else I remember is Robert Patrick's character continually being flabbergasted that this Marine continues to dog them.

 

"That goddamn Marine won't stop turning up!"

 

Yeah, no shit. That's because he's trying to kill you. Patrick's character doesn't seem to understand this.

[nrkist 71]

This film is quite the divisive firestorm! Check out the imdb forums. Somehow this film had people really divided on the war on terror. Yeah, THIS film.

[IMAHUGEHDTGMFAN 1837]

I approve this movie recommendation 100%

[DarthSpartan 2]

There are so many reasons to do this movie. It was produced by the WWE. A character breaks the fourth wall. A Camaro Police car. The list goes on and on. seriously, this would make a great episode!

[DarthSpartan 2]

There is one scene where some of the T-1000's crew are shooting at Cena's character while driving down the highway, he saves himself by holding up a bullet proof vest!! which miraculously stops ALL the bullets!!!

[Royboy 430]

Honestly, if any John Cena movie should be covered on this show, it should be 12 Rounds. Shoehorned molestation notwithstanding, that movie wasn't as insane as a blatant Die Hard with a Vengeance knockoff.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Honestly, if any John Cena movie should be covered on this show, it should be 12 Rounds. Shoehorned molestation notwithstanding, that movie wasn't as insane as a blatant Die Hard with a Vengeance knockoff.

And it's directed by none other than Die Hard 2's Renny Harlin!

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Although Robert Patrick is solid fucking gold in whatever role he takes on. I would have taken an enormous amount of pleasure if Al Pacino had accepted the role instead.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

Also +1 for 12 Rounds, Littlefinger makes for a hilarious villian in that movie.

[nthurkettle 148]

Bumping this because a) we have to wait until next year for John Cena in Fast & Furious 9, b) I still remember the beyond-cringey "molested by rock candy question mark?" running joke, and c) for the amazing bit where Robert Patrick coos to his sexy partner "We got away clean...", and it's like, MY DUDE, you were witnessed by many, many people riddling a police car with bullets in broad daylight. That is the OPPOSITE of getting away clean!"