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CarolineEAnd

Bad Summer Movies!

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I seriously hope they do Wild Wild West because it is SO absurd (or bonkers, as Jason would say) and Kenneth Branaugh's character is like, wicked racist right to Will Smith's face. That giant robot spider? Nutso.

 

If we're talking Nic Cage here (which we always are), I offer up Bangkok Dangerous. It should be done just based off the name alone.

 

Finally, I suggest Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. What and dumb, dumb, duuuumb movie.

 

It took me about 2.5 days to get through Godzilla. I was bored to tears and I kept getting distracted by other things (like just about everything).

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Since someone else mentioned it, I'd like to suggest that you DON'T do "Star Wars: Episode I", mostly because it's the deadest horse there is, and there really isn't anything that can be said about it that hasn't been said by approximately everyone that's ever had a movie podcast. That said, I'd still love to hear a "Batman and Robin" episode. Sure, it's almost as played out, but at least it isn't an absolute bore to sit through like "Phantom Menace", and really, that's the biggest problem with THAT movie.

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Guys, this one is necessary: X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

If you thought the computer in Speed 2 was ridiculous, there is a scene where an evil scientist (controlling a cyborg evil mutant guy with a computer) in order to kill Wolverine, literally types in the command "DECAPITATE"

 

Here's an actual monologue from this script, apropos of nothing:

 

WOLVERINE'S GIRLFRIEND:

You know why the moon's so lonely?

 

[Logan shakes his head. Kayla lies back, resting her head on

Logan's leg as he plays with her hair.]

 

She used to have a lover.

Kuekuatsheu. They lived in the

Spirit World and every night they'd

wander the skies together. But one

of the other spirits was jealous.

Trickster wanted the Moon for

himself. So he told Kuekuatsheu the

Moon asked for flowers. He told him

to come to our world and pick her

some wild roses.

 

WHAT?!

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Personally, my favorite summer movie has to be: Evolution.

 

This movie has it all: Aliens, Head & Shoulders, Sean William Scott at his best.

The only bad part about this movie is that it doesn't leave time for lubrication....

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. We can never forget how bad this was. The bored indiana Jones, the endless chase scene, Shia LaBoeuf, a wedding scene, oh and ancient aliens that sismantle time and space. Not since Hannibal has a sequel done more to retroactively ruin a movie franchise. I guess we still have Ghostbusters 3 to look forward to.

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Smokin' Aces 1 & 2 ( The first one is Crazy/Cool! The sequel stinks big time )

 

 

Indiana Jones A.T.K.O.T.K.S.

 

more to come...

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Mission Impossible 2, please!

 

Good call. All of John Woo's US films, with the exception of Face Off, can be placed here. Hard Target, Broken Arrow, Windtalkers... a trifecta of shit.

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I would be truly bummed if the gang went for something as obvious as Indiana Jones 4 or Phantom Menace. We get it. Fans hated them. They're played out. And frankly no one will ever top Red Letter Media's reviews of those movies.

 

Batman & Robin, however, despite being "obvious" has never really recieved the dissection it deserves. Everyone hates it, yes, but it truly is one of those How Did This Get Made? movies, and it deserves discussion that goes beyond "it sucks and it killed Batman movies for half a decade." Phantom Menace and Indy 4 are actually "fresh" on Rotten Tomatoes. They have their supporters. But Batman & Robin is indisputably awful, and it's a movie where one can really learn something from a good dissection of its myriad of flaws. Not to mention it's actually an enjoyable watch--Star Wars and Indy are like friggin' three hours long and worst of all, boring. B&R is a bad movie classic of The Room and Birdemic nature. Not to mention it's a summer movie. Come on, gang. You've got to do it.

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Also, I've got to say, I know why the gang doesn't do Adam Sandler movies; they're friends with the co-stars. I get it. But these movies NEED to be discussed. NEED to be. Do Click, at the very least--from what I remember, none of their friends are in it, and it's just as bad as his recent abominations.

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I would suggest that Transformers 2, or Transformers 3 would provide ample ammuntion for HDTGM rage fest. Michael Bay is just an awful, awful, terrible human being and him and his movies need to be stopped. Tell me I'm wrong? :)

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I would suggest that Transformers 2, or Transformers 3 would provide ample ammuntion for HDTGM rage fest. Michael Bay is just an awful, awful, terrible human being and him and his movies need to be stopped. Tell me I'm wrong? :)

Yeah but who wants to watch those movies again? Seriously, they're like three hours long and mind-shatteringly dumb. It would be torturous.

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GUMMO

 

Not really a bad movie, its just really weird and awesome, and it would be funny to hear you all talk about it

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Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern star in David Lynch's Wild at Heart:

 

Wild at Heart seems to be Lynch's lost movie. Nobody talks about it, and you can't even get it on Netflix. Someone gets brutally murdered completely out of nowhere within the first 30 seconds. Willem Dafoe plays a Bobby Peru, a villian who is even creepier than Dennis Hopper's Frank in Blue Velvet. There is an abundance of metal music, graphic sex, and driving. Literally every scene in this movie blew my mind, and I think everyone needs to find a copy and see it.

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I think you're headed in the right direction with Lynch, but the wrong movie. For this show, it needs to be "Dune". Awwwww, yeah.....

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Event Horizon

It was so bad I had to immediately see another movie to wash it out my brain.

 

I think Event Horizon is underrated. I think it is Paul W.S. Anderson's best work out of a list of really crap movies. And Laurence Fishburne is one cool captain.

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Please, please, please do The Day After Tomorrow. Highly entertaining AND terrible. Perfect combination.

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Do Click, at the very least--from what I remember, none of their friends are in it, and it's just as bad as his recent abominations.

 

 

Nick Swardson was on Human Giant... maybe he is friends with Paul I dunno

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Nick Swardson was on Human Giant... maybe he is friends with Paul I dunno

Yeah he and Paul are buddies. Is he in Click, though? It must be a small part, I can't remember him being in it at all.

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