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CarolineEAnd

Bad Summer Movies!

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It's the summertime, so tell us your favorite awful summer movies for us to watch while the sun is out!

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One from the Jaws franchise! 3 or 4 are pretty equally amazing... the shark breaking into Sea World vs the shark stalking the family to the Bahamas, cockblocking the mom from getting with Michael Caine...

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Godzilla (1998)- starring Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno.

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I second ID4 and Godzilla but must also say these three words-

 

Batman. And. Robin.

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I just saw "John Carter" today. It's not the all-out disaster people seem to think, but you'd think that, if you were making a movie for a quarter of a billion dollars, you'd want to keep the amount of characters you're supposed to keep track of to a minimum. Especially when there's a whole race of look-alike aliens.

 

As for favorite bad summer movies... hrm. I kind of enjoy "ID4," if only because I saw it in the theater when I was about six (my parents took me outside during the autopsy scene) and I still watch that movie as though I don't have as much cynicism in me. "Godzilla [in name only]" could make for a good episode, I think (the 'Mayor Ebert and his assistant Siskel' thing could be worth at least three minutes of discussion).

 

And the "Jaws" movies would be good if they did a special episode or two about taking a good movie and progressively making stupider sequels. The late Richard Jeni had a great bit about "Jaws 4," which I am sorely tempted to plagiarize/quote to support it getting an episode. (Since I'm too lazy to look up the YouTube clip of him on the Tonight Show, here's what Wikiquote had from it: "The title of this movie should be 'Here's a Fish. You're Stupid.'")

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Sorry if some of these have already been done before, it's late

 

2012

Waterworld

Transformers 2

Timeline

Bloodsport

Super Mario Brothers

Planet of the Apes (2001)

GI Joe

The Core

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Weekend at Bernies 2

 

Speed 2

 

MIB 2

 

Die Hard 3 is pretty amazing

 

Highlander 2!!!!!

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Die Hard 3 is actually pretty amazing. A big fun-time summer movie... even if it was clearly intended to be a Lethal Weapon movie instead. It would be a great episode if they got one of the original screenwriters or somebody to comment on how it transformed from one franchise to another, but otherwise, I think HDTGM has bigger fish to fry... like Godzilla. Holy crap, was a piece of big-budget feces that thing is.

 

Also, I stand behind John Carter, and not just because he has a shapely behind. I like that movie!

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Does Road House count? Because it was May, at least, and it's totally amazing and ridiculous. HDTGM needs to do Road House.

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I said it in a post on the boards before, I'll say it again: The Expendables series, with 2 coming on August 17.

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Satisfaction (1988) - The movie that failed to launch Justine Bateman's music career and Julia Roberts' first film role. Has the most unintentionally hysterical break-up scene in film history.

 

Here on Earth (2000) - Summer romance starring Leelee "Baby Helen Hunt" Sobieski and Chris Klein. Neither is believable as a human teenager. Knee cancer.

 

Orca (1977) - Haven't seen this one, but everything about it sounds amazing.

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2012

Timeline

Bloodsport

The Core

 

These aren't Summer movies, which is a shame as 2012 is perfect for HDTGM. It's just the same set piece repeated 5 times. :D

 

Hopefully they'll do it (and The Core) at some point, maybe they could do a disaster movie month :)

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I keep waiting for them to get around to movies with Sylvester Stallone and Brendan Fraser.

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Y'know, Judge Dredd was a summer movie, and there's a new Dredd film coming out soon if you want to do something topical. Just sayin'...

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I second "Judge Dredd." Seriously, does Max Von Sydow just make his choices for non-Bergman movies at random? Between "Dredd," "Rush Hour 3" and "Dune," it's hard to imagine that any actor could appear in so many bad movies and still have time to appear in a Woody Allen movie.

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The funny thing about "Judge Dredd" was that years later, when I actually got into the comics, I saw that there was a LOT in the movie that came directly from the books that was good, but then they added stupid shit like Rob Schneider and Dredd running around without his uniform off for 90% of the film. To me, getting SOMETHING right, showing that someone had at least done the homework, is much more frustrating and upsetting than if they would have taken something that was COMPLETELY off the rails and stuck the Dredd name on it. Like if you knew they were completely oblivious to it, that's not as bad as knowing that they had it right at some point and then knowingly sabotaged it.

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Armageddon

 

Dick Tracy

 

I also agree for ID4!

 

Weekend at Bernie's 1 or 2 (2 just flat out sucked! That was one of only 3 movies I have ever walked out of, and I was like 13...)

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Does Road House count? Because it was May, at least, and it's totally amazing and ridiculous. HDTGM needs to do Road House.

"Fer 20 bucks, you can kiss em!"

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I concur with the Batman & Robin suggestion. I even have a guest recommendation... Jon Daly did a great Mr. Freeze impersonation on Rafflecast!

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Summer Schlockbusters not mentioned:

 

- Red Sonja (even though I think its awesome beyond belief!)

- Johnny Mnemonic

- Xanadu

- Masters of the Universe

- Stealth

- Van Helsing

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So the first one isn't a Summer movie, but the second one is. The Baby Geniuses franchise. The first one came out in May, but the second came out in August(and has a zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes) but there is a specific reason I am asking for these films... especially the first one. My sisters are identical twins, which is literally all the casting people were looking for so I was at the set every day... in fact I was in a scene that was cut. We saw the first one on opening night and nearly walked out even though my sisters are in it... it was that awful. Then the second one came out and we saw it more as a joke since my sisters were in the first one... we walked out in 20 minutes. I would love to hear your guys' reactions to ninja babies trying to stop Kathleen Turner as the head of an evil science lab as well as her evil doctor assistant... Christopher Lloyd. The movie is so bad(but with the insanity factor that you guys are looking for) that it would make an amazing episode!

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