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A horror film starring Ron Howard's bat shit crazy brother Clint, written by the writers of Wedding Crashers and directed by Norman Apstein, a pseudonym used by director Paul Norman who is best known for...you guessed it, porn. A young man witnesses the murder of his towns ice cream man and goes crazy. Ends up in an insane asylum for a few decades before being released as an older, creepier Clint Howard. Clint decides he wants to take over as the ice cream man to bring joy back to the community, but once he's on the truck his childhood memories come flying back and he sets out to get revenge.

A gritty, sleazy Nancy Drew. A coming-of-age set inside a hard-boiled and bloody mystery. Incredibly strange dialogue and performances. An absolutely hilarious soundtrack by John Paul Jones. And some of the funniest kills and physical gags you'll ever see in any movie. You have to, have to, have to check this out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOzeCPE5CI0 <- The trailer does not do it justice but does give you some idea of what you're dealing with.

For the initial CGI abortion scene alone - this movie is HORRIBLY bad

Awesomely bad slasher movie with a character named Horny the clown.

This is a film which got a decent amount of HBO airplay while I was young (pre-teen). I remembered being terrified of Hector the robot when I first saw it, but little else (including the name of the film). When I saw the robot pictured on the front of a recent (Dec 2013) Blu Ray release, my reaction was immediate. I knew needed to revisit this film. So I did. And as an adult, I found it terrifying for a different set of reasons. For starters: 1) The acting (or lack thereof) 2) The complete disregard for pacing 3) Keitel's voice (or rather -- Ray Dotrice's voice) I'd love to hear the team react to this film.

After his aunt dies in an apparent suicide, an army veteran/writer returns to his aunt's house to battle closet monsters, goblins, and even a zombie Bull from Nightcourt. This movie is definitely bonkers and it's proven in the fact that it is a horror comedy....HALF SET IN THE VIETNAM WAR. WHAT THE FUCK?! It so haphazardly ties together it isn't even fun. There is a scene when a total sexy bitch of a neighbour drops her kid off at his house and literally forces him to babysit. UH OH, BABYSITTING WHILE THE GOULS ARE ATTACKING HIM!? I smell hijinks! George Wendt is also another neighbour who keeps showing up, at one point even firing a harpoon at a closet monster. (Again what the fuck) This movie made me laugh, it made me cry, and it definitely made me ask, "How did this get made?".

No you didn't dream this movie, it actually exists. The Peanut Butter solution is a "family comedy" that scared the shit out of anyone who watched it in the 80s. And that's not just because the entire soundtrack consists of songs by an up-and-coming singer called Celine Dion. Michael loses his hair in a fright at a haunted house, then ghosts tell him to restore his hair with peanut butter. Now the hair won't stop growing. Michael's small asian friend decides to put the peanut butter solution on his balls, family fun ensues. A creepy art teacher then kidnaps Michael to make magic paintbrushes from his hair. Meanwhile, Michael's mother takes off to Australia so his sister takes over the role of mother, dealing with the father's issues and wearing the mother's clothes and shoes. FOR NO REASON. Holy crap I'm going to have nightmares tonight just from writing this. See the trailer here, but don't believe the happiness: http://jezebel.com/5...ilm-of-all-time Watch the full film here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2798924676514781836 Did anyone else have their childhood ruined by this film? It's ok, this is a safe place

Watched this over the weekend, its a very lame attempt at a horror franchise. It stars all pretty young people like a CW show, where everyone is downloading an app that counts down to the moment of your death. It could have had some fun Final Destination type vibes, but it really didn't. The best part by far was Tom Segura's character, which is so out of place like he is going a completely different movie but is hilarious! I'm not sure this is bad enough in the right way to be featured on the podcast, but it was a lame attempt for someone to make a cheap buck at the theaters during Halloween. They don't even explain it at the end other than to tease the sequel that will probably (hopefully) never happen.

Somehow no one has suggested this abomination of a movie starring HDTGM all star Jennifer Lopez. Within the confines of an abandoned rural farmhouse, Carl Stargher, a psychologically disturbed killer has built The Cell, a glass-encased chamber where he drowns his innocent female victims before continuing a sadistic post-mortem ritual with their bodies. As the FBI finally closes in on the killer, he is rendered comatose by a violent seizure and is ultimately apprehended into their custody, but not before leaving his latest victim alive in The Cell with only forty hours to live. Enter Catherine Deane. Deane, a child therapist, is part of an advanced neurological study at the Campbell Center, a research division of a large pharmaceutical company, where she's been using her empathetic abilities along with breakthrough technology to enter into the mind of a catatonic young boy to help bring him back to his loving parents. While FBI agents Peter Novak and his partner Gordon Ramsey follow clues to uncover the missing girl's whereabouts, the FBI enlist Catherine to use her "gift" to embark on an uncharted and perilous journey through Stargher's demented mind. The trailer doesn't really show how bonkers this movie you definitely need to watch this just for the crazy.

A great bad movie. I've seen it and know it is terrible but can't stop myself watching it when it shows up on cable. It is a 2002 horror movie about a salvage crew that takes on a salvage job and finds the ship of their dreams...... or more accurately... nightmares. Let me just say. Hallucinations/visions of brutality accompanied by techno music and a creepy pale faced little girl.

The movie Phantasm would make a GREAT (seriously, great) HDTGM episode. In fact, I can think of no other movie that I've seen that fits the criteria for a good HDTGM show better than this movie. (spoilers below) Not only is the plot totally nonsensical and random, with LOTS and lots of WTF!!! moments, but the acting and dialogue are also terrible. For example, one exchange: Mike: I know you're not going to believe this, but these things were here, right in the garage, and they were going to get me! Jody: Aww, give me a break, would you? Mike: They were jumping on the car and making these weird sounds! Jody: You're sure it wasn't that retarded kid, Timmy, up the street? Additional ridiculous elements: a pony-tailed ice-cream man named Reggie, a planet filled with dwarf zombies, a creepy "Tall Man" who can turn into a woman for no apparent reason, a McGuyver-style bomb used to break through a paper-thin bedroom door, instead of trying to kill the Tall Man they trap him in an abandoned mine shaft, and a final plot twist (it was all a dream!) that is totally, 100% unnecessary. Plus, there's the cult-infamous “sphere-killing" scene! Imagine a very poorly made chrome juicer flying through the air, drilling into some poor guys face and shooting a stream of blood all over the place. It's great, and awful. Perfect for HDTGM.

ATTENTION AMY, DEVIN, LISTENERS: THE EXORCIST is an American masterpiece from arguably the greatest era of Hollywood filmmaking: the 1970s. It became a cultural phenomenon, raking in millions at the box office before earning 10 Academy Award nominations (2 wins), including Best Picture (a first for what most consider to be a horror film). It towers over both the horror genre and the landscape of New Hollywood as a major landmark. THE EXORCIST deserves its place in The Canon... Do we all agree?

From the very first scene to the bitter fucking end, I could not quell my laughter. Pros about this movie: If you like big natural mature veiny tits, this movie will blow your load. Cons: I nearly blew my blew my brains out from laughing myself into a tizzy. To be very terse and get to the point (If I were a prisoner at fulsom I would be beaten to death for letting out even the tiniest little bray of laughter). Pretend you are a prisoner at fulsom and do not see this movie (unless of course you are the geniuses behind "How Did This Get Made" then by all means see...this...movie.

AKA Frank Peretti's Hangman's Curse It stars Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl and David Keith. It's a Christian horror film. They are a family who work as undercover paranormal investigators This, my friends, is kind of my own personal Moby Dick of hard-to-find bad movies. I originally got a screener of it years ago and was horrifically delighted. Then I lost it and couldn't find a copy anywhere, no matter how hard I looked. (Meaning once every few years I'd make a half-hearted attempt to find a copy ) Fortunately, the entire movie is available on YouTube should anyone want to check it out (with subtitles). I'm linking to the trailer. Come for author Frank Peretti mugging it up in his own movie like Doc Brown's less fortunate sibling, stay for stellar dialogue like this, from the school jock to the new Christian girl: "Do you believe in the hereafter?" "Most definitely." "Good. Then you must know what I'm here after." It's bonkers.

Yes, that is the actual, legitimate spelling of the title of this movie. Not 13 Ghosts, that was the title of the 1960s original. Thir13en Ghosts. It literally takes me 3 additional seconds to type that out that should be necessary because my brain is rejecting the concept. This movie is in-sane. Admittedly I loved it when it came out because I never really liked watching horror movies after my Dad scarred me for life as a child. So when 13 Ghosts...I mean, Thir13en Ghosts came out I felt so proud of myself for being able to sit through it in the theater, I had truly advanced to manhood! But in reality I was able to sit through it because it is 15% horror and 100% bonkers, which gives us a grand total of 115% -- a mathematically unfeasible occurrence, but that is how totally ridiculous this movie is. It stars Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth (who gives one of the most unintentionally hilarious performances in Hollywood history), and a bunch of ghosts. The dialogue is non-stop hilarious, but the movie moves along at this quick pace that makes it oh-so-watchable. Some tidbits: 1) Matthew Lillard is a psychic who helps a crazed old man capture ghosts 2) Tony Shalhoub is a widowed father of two children who struggle with their bills and finances but somehow manage to employ an African-American nanny who stands as an example of how racism moves from the hands of white script writers to paper, and then on to the silver screen 3) Shannon Elizabeth has a smile that looks painful, and all she does is make Joker-esque faces at everything around her 4) SPELLS! 5) A gigantic, mechanical glass house 6) Razer scooters and a death-obsessed 8-year-old Give me another reason to watch this movie again.

Larry Drake gives a Razzie-worthy performance as the titular doctor, an escaped mental patient who murders everyone in sight. The opening scene is a total mindfuck - it's worth it just for this scene alone Each murder is done in a different doctor-y way, and comes with a fresh catchphrase (move over, Schwarzenegger ice puns). The gore is topnotch quality. Best part of the movie. Keep your eyes peeled for performances by Doug E. Doug, and Mark from Roseanne. I saw this as a kid, and I always assumed it was an 80s movie. It sure feels like one.

I have never enjoyed watching a movie more than I enjoyed "El Chupacabra". On the surface it seems like just another B horror movie, but I think it may very well be THE. WORST. ONE. Its essentially a standard horror movie plot of a monster escaping in some city and a law enforcement / scientist team race to stop it while a shady government agency attempts to hide / monopolize on the creature. The generic-ness is substantially overpowered by the hilariously insane performances, dialogues, and production failures. There are inexplicable plot threads that go nowhere, thoroughly botched dialogue, a loose cannon cop, theories about aliens, an expert goat scientist, a hero animal control officer that just cant get his paperwork right, a crazed cousin who rubs goat meat on his naked torso, and so much more. If you enjoy watching train wrecks and are a connoisseur of cringe, you will be hooked after the first 15 min. I am sure you guys will love/hate it. Link to IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375731/ Link to Rotten Tomatos (10% audience rating): https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/el_chupacabra/ Link to trailer: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375731/videoplayer/vi2711879961?ref_=tt_ov_vi

It had a documentary entitled "Best/Worst Movie" directed by the child star of this confusing cult classic. Endless fodder for Paul, June, Jason and guest.

I'm a big fan of bad movies but I do draw the line with absolute nonsensical plots, no budget and unwatchable actors (and this is in reference to Thankskilling quality movies). I love anything Steve Reimi, Kurtzman or Wes Cravin which gave me the appreciation for this movie that I really hope you guys check out -- its called "The Wishmaster" by Robert Kurtzman. You can find it Free on FEARNET on demand. Seriously, please watch this. In a nutshell - a demon from hell grants peoples wishes, but of course there is an evil (and ridiculous) catch to his generosity which is: yes the wish may be granted but only in a hurtful manner. Non-movie related example: A person would ask the Wishmaster to become famous, loved and a pleasure for everyone to see. The devil would grant the request but the twist is that the person will be turned into a painting and be showed off in a museum or something. Throughout the movie people are getting duped by this guy. Alongside "great" special effects, late 90s attire, desperate (but perfect acting) and overall a great ride, this is one movie that you do not want to miss. Luckily for us fans, there are 3 Wishmaster movies to enjoy. So far I have only seen the 1st but I am eager to catch the rest. Get some friends together and have fun watching this movie. It is a blast from the very first scene. Thank you!

Peter Krause and Tiny Tim star in this low-budget slasher flick, directed by Bill Rebane. The aging novelty singer plays a clown, Marvelous Mervo. He apparently had trouble reciting even the simplest lines, let alone adding any acting. The script is typical 80s horror camp, involving an unhelpful police chief (who seems to be the only police in town), rural setting, and ludicrous excuses for nudity (Zooks).

Please do this movie! It's so disturbing and detatched from reality. Anna Faris, Jeremy Sisto. I still don't know how this got made. It is a Frankenstein/MeetCute/Body Parts/Cannibalism nightmare that is simply disturbing. My friends and I were told we needed to see it, so we all did. Afterwards, we didn't speak for about 5 to minutes. Some ppl just got up and left. This is the weirdest thing I have ever seen on video. Please check it out, so that you cannot unsee this bizarre nonsense. Enjoy!

Hey! It was suggested in the MARTYRS thread that there should be a recommendation thread for other films of the French New Extremity, so I wanted to kick that off with some key titles. I'd look forward to any discussion about these films or the culture around them in general! First up, my top two (aside from Martyrs): TROUBLE EVERY DAY -- dir Claire Denis (2001) This ostensibly a vampire film of sorts -- starring Vincent Gallo as a scientist on a honeymoon who spends his visit in Paris trying to track down a missing colleague. Béatrice Dalle (who was the star of the 80s French film Betty Blue) plays a woman afflicted with a kind of erotic cannibalistic vampirism. Up until this point, Claire Denis was considered one of the greatest filmmakers in the world, and so when this film came out -- with extreme sex + violence, and an uncompromisingly abstract structure that refuses to clue you in to what's happening -- people were confused and downright mad at her. Personally, I feel this is one of those incredible movies that creates an overwhelming (and very dark) experience from beginning to end -- it's something that you really FEEL. It's a story about the worst side of relationships, and in a way that I believe typifies this kind of movie, it depicts the neglect and dissolution of a relationship using visceral images and an uncompromising tone of despair. If that sounds like a good time to you, put this one on the top of your list! Great soundtrack by Tindersticks too! INSIDE -- dir Julien Maury and Alexander Bustillo (2007) A pregnant woman (very pregnant -- a day away from giving birth) is stalked by a psychotic woman (again played by Beatrice Dalle!) who wants the baby. This movie is RENOWNED among French horror buffs for being among the most bloody -- though I'd say it's much more FUN than Martyrs, as it eschews torture for a more violent version of Halloween and it has nothing in it to challenge the viewer's complicity. This is a super well made movie with one twist after the other and some crazy turns of tone. These filmmakers have recently made the forthcoming LEATHERFACE for Hollywood, whatever that's worth. So having named those two for your Beatrice Dalle double feature of endless French blood, I'd divide a few other selections into two categories -- there's the New French Extremity that comes from the art/drama side of filmmaking, and the ones that are much more clearly in the HORROR genre but with a wildly artistic French point of view. It being October, let's jump into the horror first: CALVAIRE (aka THE ORDEAL) dir Fabrice Du Welz (2004) This is the first film I saw out of all this stuff, and it blew my mind. A young man winds up stopping at by a house on the edge of a small village, and boy is that regrettable. The shape of this is recognizably similar to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but every choice -- from the protagonist's hero to the filming style to the reveal of bad guys -- is a surprising upside-down world twist on the genre. This is the movie that had me thinking "French filmmakers grew up watching slashers AND European art films. Don't @ me that the filmmaker is Belgian. The director has made several other INCREDIBLE films, including ALLELUIA (2014) which is a beautifully shot version of The Honeymoon Killers. FRONTIER(S) dir Xaviar Gens (2007) A group of Arab youths caught up in Paris riots after a right wing candidate wins the presidency steal cash and escape to the country -- where they wind up at an Inn run by a family of psychotic cannibal neo-nazis. A brutal french version of Texas Chainsaw, this is twisty, turny, fun, VERY well filmed, and totally nuts. It is very CLEARLY about racial and class tensions in France but plays out that conflict through chains hooks and secret passages. THE NOT-HORROR FILMS These are the films that have genre elements or are certainly horrifying but which, quite simply, would not be found in the "horror" section of your streaming algorithm. IRREVERSIBLE dir Gaspar Noe (2002) Plot wise, this is a rape-revenge story told in reverse scene order (the director has boldly admitted he ripped off Memento's structure). It begins with a horrific revenge murder, passes through an unbelievably brutal rape, but then ends with the mundane peaceful that precedes these events. This movie has some of the most insanely inventive and aggressive filmmaking techniques in modern cinema -- the camera moves and spirals around the characters in a way that makes you feel insane; the soundtrack -- by Daft Punk's Thomas Bangalter -- is a hyper kinetic, menacing electronic explosion; and the perfomances (particularly Vincent Cassel and Monica Bellucci) are on fire. The cinematographer is Benoit Debie, who also lensed SPRING BREAKERS, LOST RIVER, THE RUNAWAYS, and all of Noe's subsequent films. This movie -- especially the 9-minute rape scene -- can be a very hard watch, but as is typical with these french films it tempers the difficulty of the content with an incredibly vivacious filmmaking style that forces you to stay gripped. I personally have a very hard time with on screen rape, but this is nevertheless a stand out movie. DEMONLOVER dir Olivier Assayas (2002) This one is a bit less on the extreme side of explicit violence but it is a bonkers ultra stylish movie about corporate intrigue, videogames, online porn, and kidnapping. Prior to this, Assayas had made the charming and bizarre IRMA VEP starring Maggie Cheung and has more recently directed THE CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA and PERSONAL SHOPPER. This one is twisty-turny and sparkling with a kind of Cronenbergian other-wordly shine. ROMANCE (1999) and ANATOMY OF HELL (2004) dir CATHERINE BREILLET Breillet's work has been a non-stop deep dig into sex and relationships as power struggle and violent expression. Breillet goes all the way back to acting in Last Tango in Paris and has made it her life's work to combine explicit (very explicit) sex with a desperate yet weary desire to uncover what human intimacy can possibly be once the world has ground out hope. If that sounds like a good time... IN MY SKIN dir Marina De Van (2002) Another tough watch -- this one from an uncompromising woman using body horror to express the anxiety and alienation of modern workplace ambition. The director wrote and also STARS in this movie in which a woman -- on the cusp of a big promotion and an escalating relationship -- becomes addicted to self harm when she discovers she has a very high pain threshold. It's an extremely unnerving film whose high dramatic moments include a scene where she drinks to much wine at a crucial client dinner and fights the urge to cut herself open in front of her boss. RELATABLE. There's TONS more interesting films from this group, but here's a starter set -- I'm hoping people are interested enough to jump into the thread and post their own reactions, rebuttals, cheers, and recommendations!

My wife tweeted Paul and June a few months ago in hopes that they would do this disaster of a movie. That was before we knew this forum existed. My wife passed away 12 weeks ago but I would still love to hear the gang do this as a Halloween episode. She worked in a mom and pop video store when she was young and always contended that this was the worst movie she had ever seen. I can back that up. Hope I followed all the submission rules. Thanks guys

Now I definitely searched the forums for this movie, and nothing came up. If someone finds otherwise, point me in the right direction. My boyfriend and I just finished watching one of the most insane horror movies from the late '80s. And we stumbled upon it! This movie is straight up craze balls. There's random gratuitous ass and titty shots that make you convince yourself one of the actresses and the director might have been fucking. One of the characters, possessed by a demon, draws lipstick slowly over her chest and nipple, and then proceeds to press the entire tube of lipstick into (and subsequently THROUGH) her nipple, into her chest. The character that walks in on her, moments later gets his eyes popped right into his skull. Who knows with this crazy and AMAZING awful piece of work what they were thinking. Parts of worked for us. Most of it was crazy. The LINES in this. An old man shakes his fist at a kid, in the beginning and says "YOU SONOFABITCH" shaking his fist like the most stereotypical crotchety old man. At one point, to get a party started, someone says they brought a strobe light from home because their parents were "former acid heads". Spoiler alert! It really DOES get the party started for some reason. Also, this is one of the very rare horror movies, especially of its time, to have the ONLY black character be a complete coward, AND survive. Well.... he redeems himself at the VERY end. But MAN does he take his time. There's a pretty psychedelic dance sequence in which one of the characters, dressed as a bride in black, is spinning to the strobe light while demonic sounding backward-speaking Latin metallica music plays in the background. These are just mere moments from this full on crazy wild ride of a horror movie. The first 45 minutes is literally all exposition. But once all the characters look into a mirror, shit his the fan and it doesn't stop spattering all over the floors and walls of and ceilings of this crazy frickin' movie until the very last frame

This is my absolute favorite movie and it is pure insanity. Dennis Hopper stars in his greatest role to date as a former Texas ranger hellbent on bringing down the Sawyer family. This movie culminates in a goddamn chainsaw swordfight. It features Dennis Hopper running through tunnels, dual-wielding chainsaws and yelling nonsensical affirmations. Leatherface falls in love. The pacing is horrible. There's a character tie-in to the first movie (re: Dennis Hopper's character) that's never fully explained unless you look up trivia about the movie. Everything about Bill Moseley's "Chop Top" is incredible. According to the movie's IMDB page, Dennis Hopper thought this was THE worst movie he's ever done (yes, including Super Mario Brothers). It's everything great about bad horror movies wrapped up in a campy, ridiculous bow. It's completely bonkers. Please check it out!